For Guys Writing Field Reports: Honesty

[Fly By Night]

Hey guys,

FBN here. I'm not as active as I used to be mainly because I don't like the tone of SS being rather bitter, but I do like to drop by every once in a while to give advice anyway. I woke up early today and couldn't fall back asleep so I just started reading people's field reports out of sheer boredom. I realized something:

You guys have no focus on what you want.

Or at least a very flimsy idea of what you guys want. One FR said he wanted to become comfortable with women and get the experience, but then in the next few posts, he's talking about how he wanted to eff some chick and is upset/let down that he didn't. Another example are guys going out to get laid but whenever they get the chance, they have one reason or another that they don't pull the trigger and go for it.

I am very guilty of this myself, but that's what improvement is for right?

My advice to you guys is to make clear intent of why you are going out:

• Do you want to get laid?
• Do you want to have fun that night?
• Do you want to practice getting numbers?
• Do you want to improve talking to strangers?
• Do you just want to get wasted in public?

These are questions you should already have the answers to before you even start making your way to the bar/club. That way when you are in a certain situation, you know how to react. If you want to get laid, don't take the number, take the girl home, she's horny NOW not 3-4 days later. If you want to get numbers, don't be scared to ask the question. You want to talk to people, quit leaning on the wall. If you want to be "outcome independent" and have fun, have some fun and don't be upset if you didn't have sex with someone.

You need to be HONEST and make a FIRM DECISION on what you want and what you are willing to do to get it. You will come back from your outing with a clearer perspective on how you're progressing.

Good luck, be smart, and have fun no matter what,

Night

 

[Don-Kong]

Yup, bang on.

But the motivation could be a number of these independent on how the night goes. Things change during the night and there needs to be a flexibility of mind. Yeah it's good to have a firm goal or motivation to go out but not be defined by it.

It's helpful because it stops me from focusing on the other nonsense and increases my state.

But in general, having fun staying in that positive vibe and meeting people is key. The secondary is practicing other stuff, approaches, getting numbers, getting chicks outside etc.

If I've ever beaten myself up its because I wasn't clear what my next move was because I was focusing on just getting approaches, rather than going for the pull. So there are PARTS to the game to work on, we're not expert in just a few times out

 

[Atom Smasher]

Good post, and it can be extrapolated out to apply to most of life.

Just to add to your idea, and I know this wasn't the main intent of your post:

I would advise against what I term "absolute" goals, such as "I want to get laid tonight" because obviously you're either going to come back a winner or a loser in your own mind. All the other examples are great because success is measured in the trying.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Intent is important and being honest with your intent and following through. I think when you get down to it, every guy is going out to get laid with the hotest girl. Since getting laid can be the hardest, least likely event, they set their expectations low, I am just going to do some approaches or i'm just going to get a number, probably to not be disappointed and feel like they failed.

I almost always go out with the goal or intent of getting laid. I don't always put in the effort to make it happen. But whether I get laid or I don't, I'm not disapointed if I don't.

The thing is, not everyone has the same potential to reach any goal on a night out, even trying the hardest and the best they can. Not everyone gets as many positive and less negative reactions from girls they approach. Not every guy has the same potential to get laid.

 

[Don-Kong]

A part of me is saying, "another advice-giver"

It's not about giving advice, it's about learning. If people want to be negative, then, are they really learning or are they stuck in the same place. Good reflection promotes learning and moving forward constructively.
I could say, "this is what you need to do to attain enlightenment", big deal it doesn't mean anything. People need to do it themselves. We can provide the answer yet providing example is also very important.

I looked through OP's posts, and no disrespect man, it's advice giving right enough from a 21 year old. There's nothing wrong with the theory in this. But there is a world of difference from 'knowing with experience' and showing an example. Looking forward to your reports!

 

[Fly By Night]

@Don_Kong Approaching women without intent can really end up confusing you during your reflection period. The whole intent thing is supposed to monitor yourself to see if you are taking action towards your goal. Whether you reach it or not, the point is that you know your actions are congruent with what you want. And I understand that I may not be the most experienced guy here, but this helped me objectively evaluate myself so there was no way I was rationalizing my behavior on any given night just to feel better about myself.

@Atom Smasher I agree very much. The firm intentions are best if you are trying to evaluate yourself. (like on a field report or something :crazy You can have intentions like "I will have fun... but have sex if a girl is practically throwing herself on me."

@Stagger Lee Well that's a huge problem in itself. Saying "I will sleep with the hottest girl." that's too specific/impractical. You WANT to have sex with the hottest girl and will damn well try, but that's pretty much it. TRY is all you can do and is the main point behind having intentions.