Sin and Vice
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2002
- Messages
- 25
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This is for all you Average Frustrated Chumps. This post is mostly about infatuation and a few things I've learned from experience. I've been there and I'd like to share my thoughts in the hope of helping a few not to make the same mistakes I did.
Here's how it pretty much goes when your an AFC. Can't get a date because you have no confidence in yourself. You sit home and whine thinking what a loser you are. Boohoo. Then there's 'that' girl. The Perfect 10. She's got everything you have ever wanted in a woman. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect personality, perfect in every single way, surely she must have fallen from heaven itself. If only you could have HER your every problem would be solved, you would be endlessly happy, and a smile would never leave your face.
Wrong. I'm here to tell you all that is a big pile of bull. There is NO such thing as a Perfect 10. There never has been and there never will be. NEVER. One day I finally got over all my whining and took a REAL look at her. I found all of a sudden my 'Perfect 10' went down to about a 5. I want any AFC type to do yourself a favor and really think about that dream girl of yours. Is she REALLY all that? Are you telling me that she has every single quality in looks and personality that you ever wanted, and that she has absolutely nothing wrong with her? If you tell me that I will call you a liar. There are negative qualities in everyone. Maybe she has a hairstyle you don't like, maybe she is a little short for your taste, maybe she can be short-tempered or rhude, heck maybe she chews with her mouth open. The point is NO ONE is 'perfect'. No one. Keep in mind there is ALWAYS someone better out there. You just have to get off your butt and look for her.
Get up and look? No! I could never do that, I'm such a loser, no one likes me or ever will. Wrong again. I was so depressed and thinking I was worthless one day I just said to myself, why? Why am I like this? What is it about me that I don't like? Well I thought I was heavy, so I worked out and lost weight. I didn't like my clothes, so I spent a little bit of money and found my own stlyle(it doesn't take a lot). I also got myself a nice cologne that women seem to love. I felt I didn't have that much to offer so I learned some new things, taught myself some skills, took up a musical instrument. Now I don't walk, I strut. I am happy with ME. You have to change yourself, and you have to do it for YOU. Don't do it for any women. Make yourself what YOU want to be, that will not only bring you happiness but confidence. These changes aren't overnight, they take time. So take some time and concentrate on YOU!
I also used to spend every night thinking of my 'Perfect 10'. I did very little of any use. This is why I say get some hobbies! Get some friends!! Busy yourself with other things, doing things you like, learning things! You will find when you are happy with your own life and doing the things you like to do, the women will sense this and they will just about come to you.
Next, push women off that dam high pedestal you have them on! Why are they there? What the hell makes them better than you? Answer: NOTHING! YOU are a man. You are BORN the stronger vessel. Women can be wonderful, but they are just people to. Even your so called 'perfect 10' woman has issues. She has a job, she has some type of personal problems, she gets sick, she has dark secrets, she has a lot of crap goin' on that makes her less than perfect. She is human. Like my Grandpa used to say, her crap still stinks. Im not trying to insult women here, I just want you to think about it. They are just people and want to be treated that way. Last time I went after my so-called 'perfect' girl, I wrote poetry, left her love notes, talked to her like 24/7 and revealed every dark detail about myself, and we were really just getting to know about it. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you be attracted to this clingy desperate loser? I think not. Would a girl that hung around you every second and treated you like an idol kissing the ground you walk on excite you? No, she would most likely bore you very quickly and you would be tired of her. Remember this next time you are tempted to treat any woman this way.
Here is another important fact I learned: Believe it or not women are NOT dumb! They know when your flirting, they know whether or not you like them, and they recognize all types of subtelties. Stop trying to be sly and just have the balls to do the things you want. You spend nights in bed sleepless just wondering if she likes you. At the same time she is at home fast asleep and has not given you even a second thought. Wouldn't it really have just been easier and less stressfull to ASK her out? Find out fast and for sure if she likes you. If she accepts a date hey she has at least some interest, if not chin up and MOVE ON. What is the worst that could happen? You could get rejected, people could even see it! WHO CARES. Most people on the street don't give a dam about you and will prolly never see you again. And as for the girl even if she 'rejects' you, as you see it, she is usually flattered and happy you asked. So just go for it. Remember, in the long run, its MUCH less nerve-wracking to just find out quickly and ask for the date then to sit and wonder what-if's for the next week.
In conclusion I'd just like to say there are many wonderful women out there of all shapes and sorts. Even when you've found someone you like you need to keep in mind that there's always someone better and even more right for you out there. Keep your chin up, and be willing to change you for YOU. Even minor things can make you happy. Most important for the AFC type when starting out, be willing to move on. Don't dwell on the past. Women can sense a lot, have confidence and she will see it. If you are desperate though, you might as well be kryptonite and the woman Superman. So keep your eyes open for those lovely 9's, because the Perfect 10 just does not exist!
Here's how it pretty much goes when your an AFC. Can't get a date because you have no confidence in yourself. You sit home and whine thinking what a loser you are. Boohoo. Then there's 'that' girl. The Perfect 10. She's got everything you have ever wanted in a woman. Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect personality, perfect in every single way, surely she must have fallen from heaven itself. If only you could have HER your every problem would be solved, you would be endlessly happy, and a smile would never leave your face.
Wrong. I'm here to tell you all that is a big pile of bull. There is NO such thing as a Perfect 10. There never has been and there never will be. NEVER. One day I finally got over all my whining and took a REAL look at her. I found all of a sudden my 'Perfect 10' went down to about a 5. I want any AFC type to do yourself a favor and really think about that dream girl of yours. Is she REALLY all that? Are you telling me that she has every single quality in looks and personality that you ever wanted, and that she has absolutely nothing wrong with her? If you tell me that I will call you a liar. There are negative qualities in everyone. Maybe she has a hairstyle you don't like, maybe she is a little short for your taste, maybe she can be short-tempered or rhude, heck maybe she chews with her mouth open. The point is NO ONE is 'perfect'. No one. Keep in mind there is ALWAYS someone better out there. You just have to get off your butt and look for her.
Get up and look? No! I could never do that, I'm such a loser, no one likes me or ever will. Wrong again. I was so depressed and thinking I was worthless one day I just said to myself, why? Why am I like this? What is it about me that I don't like? Well I thought I was heavy, so I worked out and lost weight. I didn't like my clothes, so I spent a little bit of money and found my own stlyle(it doesn't take a lot). I also got myself a nice cologne that women seem to love. I felt I didn't have that much to offer so I learned some new things, taught myself some skills, took up a musical instrument. Now I don't walk, I strut. I am happy with ME. You have to change yourself, and you have to do it for YOU. Don't do it for any women. Make yourself what YOU want to be, that will not only bring you happiness but confidence. These changes aren't overnight, they take time. So take some time and concentrate on YOU!
I also used to spend every night thinking of my 'Perfect 10'. I did very little of any use. This is why I say get some hobbies! Get some friends!! Busy yourself with other things, doing things you like, learning things! You will find when you are happy with your own life and doing the things you like to do, the women will sense this and they will just about come to you.
Next, push women off that dam high pedestal you have them on! Why are they there? What the hell makes them better than you? Answer: NOTHING! YOU are a man. You are BORN the stronger vessel. Women can be wonderful, but they are just people to. Even your so called 'perfect 10' woman has issues. She has a job, she has some type of personal problems, she gets sick, she has dark secrets, she has a lot of crap goin' on that makes her less than perfect. She is human. Like my Grandpa used to say, her crap still stinks. Im not trying to insult women here, I just want you to think about it. They are just people and want to be treated that way. Last time I went after my so-called 'perfect' girl, I wrote poetry, left her love notes, talked to her like 24/7 and revealed every dark detail about myself, and we were really just getting to know about it. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you be attracted to this clingy desperate loser? I think not. Would a girl that hung around you every second and treated you like an idol kissing the ground you walk on excite you? No, she would most likely bore you very quickly and you would be tired of her. Remember this next time you are tempted to treat any woman this way.
Here is another important fact I learned: Believe it or not women are NOT dumb! They know when your flirting, they know whether or not you like them, and they recognize all types of subtelties. Stop trying to be sly and just have the balls to do the things you want. You spend nights in bed sleepless just wondering if she likes you. At the same time she is at home fast asleep and has not given you even a second thought. Wouldn't it really have just been easier and less stressfull to ASK her out? Find out fast and for sure if she likes you. If she accepts a date hey she has at least some interest, if not chin up and MOVE ON. What is the worst that could happen? You could get rejected, people could even see it! WHO CARES. Most people on the street don't give a dam about you and will prolly never see you again. And as for the girl even if she 'rejects' you, as you see it, she is usually flattered and happy you asked. So just go for it. Remember, in the long run, its MUCH less nerve-wracking to just find out quickly and ask for the date then to sit and wonder what-if's for the next week.
In conclusion I'd just like to say there are many wonderful women out there of all shapes and sorts. Even when you've found someone you like you need to keep in mind that there's always someone better and even more right for you out there. Keep your chin up, and be willing to change you for YOU. Even minor things can make you happy. Most important for the AFC type when starting out, be willing to move on. Don't dwell on the past. Women can sense a lot, have confidence and she will see it. If you are desperate though, you might as well be kryptonite and the woman Superman. So keep your eyes open for those lovely 9's, because the Perfect 10 just does not exist!