Bobby,
I am so glad the word has gotten out, and just in time, too. I am in my second trimester, and I was worried that when I gave birth to our Noodly Savior I would be shunned to the edges of society for giving birth to a fully-grown midgit in pirate regalia.
Yes, I have conceived the spirit of our Divine Lord, and immaculately, I might add. He came upon me while I was eating alone at The Olive Garden one evening this past winter--I was having a delicious meatball lasagna, I remember--and suddenly my eyes were filled with light, and the restaurant around me fell away, and there was nothing but His noodly appendage encircling me, caressing me. I cried out in ecstasy, and then I heard His voice in my ear, whispering to me, "In nine months time you shall give birth to a fully-grown midgit in pirate regalia, and He shall save the world from sin and hate and false notions about evolution and Creation."
I heard singing, and tomato sauce rained from the sky, and I saw angel hair pasta flying about with little farfalle wings and playing harps. It was beautiful. "You shall name Him....Prego...." said the Flying Spaghetti Monster, "and He shall bring in a new era of love and a worldwide following of Pastafarians willing to shed marinara sauce for what they believe."
And His noodly appendage left my trembling, sated body, and the singing faded, and I was once again in The Olive Garden, awaiting the birth of our Savior, Prego, who will deliver us from evil. I paid the check and went home and prayed all night to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. So fear not, Bobby! If Kansas refuses to include our religion in their science curriculum--imagine, survival of the fittest, ha! it is survival of the noodliest, any devout Pastafarian knows that--Prego shall smite those heathens and burn Kansas for all eternity. Ramen!
-Rebecca
