Flaking and How You Handle It

[TitanSS]

What's the most common advice on here towards flakers? Assume the girls interest level appeared high and now has dropped. Obviously keep spinning other plates and don't worry about whether or not she likes you, but do you immediately next her? Go ghost for awhile and come back weeks later? How far off base am I?

Not seeking advice on a particular girl, just all flakes in general.

 

[Audiophile]

The way I deal with flakes is simple. If she flakes, she's not that interested, really straightforward. UNLESS she gives you a valid reason/a counter-offer (i.e, telling you to meet her another time since she couldn't make it), just forget about it. Your "rapport" or "interest level" with her will only go down as time passes, and if she flaked early on once, you'll look weak in her eyes, and you'll waste your own time by not taking the hint.

You can usually gauge how flaky they'll be based on your interaction with them, and how they respond to your date. Just make backup plans with friends or preferably with another woman (do it a few hours after your date, so you can even do both, you sly dog you).

 

[TheMale]

i want to add a little question:

last time, a chick flaked.
so i just erased her from my phone and forget her.
but a few weeks later, i met her in the street, i said hi and she asked me why i disappeared.
didnt know how to answer on it so i just told her the truth that she have nothing that can interesting me, so i dont need her in my social circle.

so what to do in that situation ? you see her on street, are you saying hi ?
and if she ask why you disappeared, what is your answer ?

 

[Fly By Night]

last time, a chick flaked.
so i just erased her from my phone and forget her.
but a few weeks later, i met her in the street, i said hi and she asked me why i disappeared.
didnt know how to answer on it so i just told her the truth that she have nothing that can interesting me, so i dont need her in my social circle.

Strange, almost the same thing happened to me. I was just vague with her and told her I've been busy. Turns out she was still interested in me. I guess the lesson here would be to attempt at least twice before hitting next. (C'mon guys, her life is not going to revolve around someone she just met)

And how do I deal with flakes? I don't, I just brush them off and move on. (Assuming I tried to meetup with them enough times)

 

[Ringleader41]

This chick flaked on me, but I needed a date for this date party and I asked her and she was really interested in going

 

[LuisGarcia10]

What I do is just not care, and if it does annoy me, I never let the girl know that!
Just reply politely, "hey no worries that's fine," and then dont ask her out again, or at least leave it a while before you do. If. Girl is genuinely interested, she'll make sure you're aware that the reason she hasn't met up is genuine, she'll be worried that she's messed it up and wont want to come off as a flake.
I've been flaked on quite a lot, notably by one girl about a year ago, id slept with her a few times before she went cold, kept texting me giving me attention etc but just always flaked!
Anyway I got really annoyed, made it obvious to her I was really annoyed and subsequently made a fool out of myself!
Rubbish at the time of course but I learnt a valuable lesson!
The way I see it, going on a date with me is a decent offer! I'm not brad pitt but I'm not bad looking, I'm pretty good company, and if I do date a girl I'm a pretty good boyfriend. So if, for whatever reason, a girl isn't interested in that, I'm not going to spend too much energy or time trying to convince her otherwise.

 

[Korrupt]

Be persistent with flakes before you drop them. If they keep flaking and it seems impossible to get them out on a date THEN drop them.

 

[TitanSS]

Be persistent with flakes before you drop them. If they keep flaking and it seems impossible to get them out on a date THEN drop them.

I've waited to see someone speak of anything from the confident persistence articles. I normally won't post on here but I read a lot of the advice posters generally gives others, and it generally seems to be to next any girl who doesn't show high initial interest.

I will say nexting a girl too early is better than coming off needy, desperate, and too strong, and that may be why most posters give that advice.

My take on it is that if you're after a very attractive woman, she has just as many options as you do plates, so unless you're and incredibly handsome man with an established social status or just blew her away with your game you're not going to get all of her thoughts and attention.

So why do you expect her to automatically choose you over the other chumps if she barely knows you? Shouldn't we expect to have to overcome initial low interest on someone we expect gets hit on half a dozen times a day as her way of weeding out who can handle her and who can't?

I'm no expert, i'm an average chump from a very small town, so feel free to tear my theory to shreds

 

[Gro0ver]

What I do is just not care, and if it does annoy me, I never let the girl know that!
Just reply politely, "hey no worries that's fine," and then dont ask her out again, or at least leave it a while before you do. If. Girl is genuinely interested, she'll make sure you're aware that the reason she hasn't met up is genuine, she'll be worried that she's messed it up and wont want to come off as a flake.
I've been flaked on quite a lot, notably by one girl about a year ago, id slept with her a few times before she went cold, kept texting me giving me attention etc but just always flaked!
Anyway I got really annoyed, made it obvious to her I was really annoyed and subsequently made a fool out of myself!
Rubbish at the time of course but I learnt a valuable lesson!
The way I see it, going on a date with me is a decent offer! I'm not brad pitt but I'm not bad looking, I'm pretty good company, and if I do date a girl I'm a pretty good boyfriend. So if, for whatever reason, a girl isn't interested in that, I'm not going to spend too much energy or time trying to convince her otherwise.

This is really good advice, and exactly my approach/what happened to me.

I got out of a long relationship in january and went on a date with this girl, went really well, got along great but I probably came across as overly-needy, I was somewhat on the rebound even though it was me who broke off the long relationship. Over the next couple of weeks i tried to arrange another meet but she was flaking.... being friendly/talkative but cancelling on me and not trying to rearrange.

I got peed off because we got on really well, she even said to me on the date that we clicked much more than she did usually with guys she dated. I was about to text her and vent my frustration but I stumbled across this website and decided to just stop chasing her completely.

Now I just go into situations knowing that I'm a "good catch" and I have a lot to offer, never losing faith in that and knowing that if a girl is flaking, it's her loss. This is the way to be guys! Have absolute faith in "the product" (didn't read that anywhere just made it up).

The girl who flaked on me? I see her at my dance classes, and what'dya know she's a lot more interested now that I'm paying no attention to her, but I'm on new things now, as far as I'm concerned she had her chance and blew it.

Our time is valuable brothers, let us not waste it on flakers!