flakes 10 mins before we're supposed to meet i can't give her another chance can i?

[pete101]

having a **** day, i was supposed to meet a hot italian woman off facebook today she confirms at 2pm but also hints she's feeling shy to meet 'i think 5 would be better i'm feeling a bit shy to meet u, not looking my best have been partying to much lol'

i reassure her she'll look good etc and she sends back '' so i assume we're on. 20 mins before we meet i'm already walking to the place and she cancels 'babes im sorry feeling to shy to meet you, have not done my nails and my feet i want them to be perfect. please let's rearrange when i feel a little more attractive.'

im livid now, and instead of just ignoring her and not responding i try to convince to come as i'm already walking there.. she sends back 'do you want to come to carnival with us' then i'm thinking wtf.. so the reason you're cancelling on me is cos your friends have asked you to go to carnival with them not cos you're shy and want to look good for me, i tell her the place we're going closes at 6 so she can go carnival after.. then she says she's not coming and will make it up to me. im then annoyed and tell her so the reason she's cancelling is cos she wants to go to the carnival and that she should have just told me before earlier not 10 mins befores we're supposed to meet and i would have understood. she texts back it's not, and it's cos she's shy.. so now im furious.. and text her back she needs to make it up to me and it better be good and that i have a rule that i dont meet women who cancel on me 10 mins before we're supposed to meet. (not in an angry way but prob not in an assertive not bothered indifferent way)

i can't give her anothe chance can i? no matter the reason cancelling 20 mins before we're supposed to meet is unacceptable and if ever do arrange to meet her again and meet her she'll know she can treat me anyway she can and i'll take it.

it's f;ing annoying because i put so much effort into this and she's hot as well.. and the best i can get is stalemate now.. cos arranging to meet with her will tell her i tolerate her disrespecting me so much that she cant respect me.. i hate when i lose ones over stupid reasons like this, the carnival is only here once a year so i had a sense she might flake because of it but not 20mins beforehand. i know im a stranger but i stilll shouldnt give her another chance right?

 

[pete101]

what makes matters worse is the one from the other thread who calls me on thurs at the time we're supposed to meet (and tells me she's meeting her girlie at 8 and to come by if im around) after flaking earlier that day without giving me a counter offer and then calls me at 11pm on friday night and i have no idea why and i realised after it's just a sh!t test to see if im available to her, i text to meet up this evening.. she texts me 'who is this? lol' basically deleted my number or her phone is different.. her phone was smashed when i met her so it's obvious she's using a diff phone but yet hasn't swapped her contacts over.. and doesn't answer my questions about meeting up after i tell her who i am.. so much BS attention seeking headcase..talking like a drunk, then tells me 'im doing my make up call if you wanna talk.' i send back 'i dont want to talk. take care.'

she's a primo attention wh0re and her IL has dropped cos i called her back on fri night 2 mins after she called at 11pm. im so stupid but i had no idea what it was for cos i never had a girl sh!t test me by calling me. i didn't realise till after i should have waited till next day before i responded.

so now 2 of my plates/dates are in the bin now. had i waited to suggest to meet up later in the week things would be different but i find that both have disrespected me in one way or another and if i try to chase it up i dont respect myself.

on the plus side my date with another facebook milf last night went well, she was really into me and she's local, but not that hot, local though so regular pound when her kid goes to uni next month.

 

[NinjaMaster]

having a **** day, i was supposed to meet a hot italian woman off facebook today she confirms at 2pm but also hints she's feeling shy to meet 'i think 5 would be better i'm feeling a bit shy to meet u, not looking my best have been partying to much lol'

i reassure her she'll look good etc and she sends back '' so i assume we're on. 20 mins before we meet i'm already walking to the place and she cancels 'babes im sorry feeling to shy to meet you, have not done my nails and my feet i want them to be perfect. please let's rearrange when i feel a little more attractive.'

im livid now, and instead of just ignoring her and not responding i try to convince to come as i'm already walking there.. she sends back 'do you want to come to carnival with us' then i'm thinking wtf.. so the reason you're cancelling on me is cos your friends have asked you to go to carnival with them not cos you're shy and want to look good for me, i tell her the place we're going closes at 6 so she can go carnival after.. then she says she's not coming and will make it up to me. im then annoyed and tell her so the reason she's cancelling is cos she wants to go to the carnival and that she should have just told me before earlier not 10 mins befores we're supposed to meet and i would have understood. she texts back it's not cos she's shy.. so now im furious.. and text her back she needs to make it up to me and it better be good and that i have a rule that i dont meet women who cancel on me 10 mins before we're supposed to meet.

i can't give her anothe chance can i? no matter the reason cancelling 20 mins before we're supposed to meet is unacceptable and if ever do arrange to meet her again and meet her she'll know she can treat me anyway she can and i'll take it.

it's f;ing annoying because i put so much effort into this and she's hot as well.. and the best i can get is stalemate now.. cos arranging to meet with her will tell her i tolerate her disrespecting me so much that she cant respect me.. i hate when i lose ones over stupid reasons like this, the carnival is only here once a year so i had a sense she might flake because of it but not 20mins beforehand. i know im a stranger but i stilll shouldnt give her another chance right?

Never let them see you sweat. You are being the chick Pete101.

Dude you are your own worst enemy. These chicks are playing with you like a little boy and it's your own fault.

hints she's feeling shy to meet 'i think 5 would be better i'm feeling a bit shy to meet u, not looking my best have been partying to much lol'

I'd have simply replied either: "LOL" and left it at that. Or: "Let's stop the nonsense." and left it at that.


But you decide to kiss her ass telling her you're sure she'll look good. A person you've never met in the first place. That's desperate chump sht and these chicks know it.

You are the one fvcking things up Pete101.


When she said "Carnival" you should reply: Carnival? You're already thinking you're at the Carnival. Do I look like a clown? Do I make you laugh? Do I amuse you?

And leave it at that. Even if she replies.

Do not contact her anymore. Let HER contact you.

If she does DO NOT ask her out again. Even if she suggests it. Go into light hearted small talk about what shes up to etc. Don't try to "prove" anything to her let alone compliment her. Just talk quick small talk then exit the conversation by dropping off and NOT asking her to meet again.

Then go on with your life. If she contacts you a second time later on sometime? Make small talk. Don't take the "meet" bait. If she pushes for it? Then see when you both may have time to meet.

If she then shows? Fine. If not. Drop it.

You need to change things for you. Stop being a desperate puppet.

 

[mangotot]

That's just plain rude. Not in a million years should you give her another chance. She had the opportunity but blew it!

 

[Tictac]

Sure, if and only if she asks you out.

 

[Krueg]

Nope, Low Interest. Next! She has to be crazy about you. Or else your gonna be a sucker and get your heart broken. It is YES to your dates and nothing less!

 

[pete101]

Nope, Low Interest. Next! She has to be crazy about you. Or else your gonna be a sucker and get your heart broken. It is YES to your dates and nothing less!

Does it make a difference if you've never met them before and it's a date from Facebook?

As in should one be more relaxed with someone you never met before.

I sensed she might flake I was conscious if the carnival being this weekend..I have to admit my texts prior to meeting both yest and today should have been more assertive rather than asking if 4 or 5 was better. Bad luck really. Now I don't get to meet her.

My last text to her today was: you need to make it up to me BIG time I have a rule: I dont meet women who cancel 10 mins beforehand, it's disrespectful of me and my time. I await your counter offer in due course. It better be good '

I know you guys say you should just not reply and when im annoyed I always say exactly what's on my mind as I feel they need to know exactly what I think of their behaviour and wont stand for it..but not on how it will be received.

I need to learn to just not reply to show my dissatisfaction, all im doing is showing they've affected me?

 

[jake-a-roo4]

i can't give her anothe chance can i?

Why would you after she disrespected you like that? It's just one girl. Who cares. Don't chase them.

it's f;ing annoying because i put so much effort into this

Don't put in that much effort on a first date. Make it a simple and relaxed date with not much effort.

 

[NinjaMaster]

Does it make a difference if you've never met them before and it's a date from Facebook?

As in should one be more relaxed with someone you never met before.

I sensed she might flake I was conscious if the carnival being this weekend..I have to admit my texts prior to meeting both yest and today should have been more assertive rather than asking if 4 or 5 was better. Bad luck really. Now I don't get to meet her.

My last text to her today was: you need to make it up to me BIG time I have a rule: I dont meet women who cancel 10 mins beforehand, it's disrespectful of me and my time. I await your counter offer in due course. It better be good '

I know you guys say you should just not reply and when im annoyed I always say exactly what's on my mind as I feel they need to know exactly what I think of their behaviour and wont stand for it..but not on how it will be received.

I need to learn to just not reply to show my dissatisfaction, all im doing is showing they've affected me?

Pete. You are the source of your own problems with these chicks flaking.

A chick will start possibly getting more high interest if you don't come across as desperate or pushy. ESPECIALLY if they don't know you and are unsure of the type of dude you are.

These chicks may like you and were willing to give you a chance but you cannot soley base a conversation and EVERY conversation on a meet ONLY.

You want to make quick lighthearted small talk about other sht. Stuff they're doing etc. and set up a meet but don't push it. Let it marinate in their minds while coming off cool and well rounded to them. Not like some dude who's desperate to meet some chick he's never met. Especially if you are getting vibes they might flake.

Chicks will passively "agree" to not get into an argument or have some dude they aren't sure of possibly blow up their phone, get on their nerves, argue etc. so they'll say "yes" and then flip it on you by flaking and getting YOU annoyed.

Play it cool. Set up meets but talk about other stuff besides a meet quick.

They'll either sense you aren't desperate and decide to meet as you seem cool and not pushy or they won't. Some may hit you up in the future when they're ready. You'll wind up getting less flakes that way.


Would YOU appreciate it if we were friends in real life or I barely knew you and I kept trying to get you to come out somewhere and that's ALL I talked about? Then I told you you need to make it up to me and buy drinks when we went out to watch the game?

You'd get pissed off. Realize I'm a pushy mofo. Don't care if you have a life. And just want my own way. So you'd either stop answering, or "agree" and just not show up.

Talk to a bunch of chicks. Set up meets but always have other small talk involved off topic. If they don't show or give excuses etc? Don't sweat it. Just make small talk again and don't ask them to meet.

Let them offer but don't jump at the chance (nor end the conversation right away as they'll take it you are pissed). Just tell them we'll set something up and you'll text them later.

You may be surprised it cuts down on flakes significantly.

 

[pete101]

Why would you after she disrespected you like that? It's just one girl. Who cares. Don't chase them.





Don't put in that much effort on a first date. Make it a simple and relaxed date with not much effort.

No you don't get what I mean by putting in so much effort. .it's the getting the number and setting up the meet take so much effort. Sending 100s of messages to random chicks on facebook hoping a few bite..that's exhausting. .going to bars sarging week in week out not getting any numbers. .it's exhausting both physically and mentally it's just not worth the effort anymore it's highly inefficient and opportunity cost is huge all the time spent sarging it detracts from doing other things..and the annoying thing is that you have to put inthe time or you don't get anything

For most guys on here it's much easier for me I have to spend countless hours days weeks before I get any progress that's why I get furious when they flake

 

[pete101]

Pete. You are the source of your own problems with these chicks flaking.

A chick will start possibly getting more high interest if you don't come across as desperate or pushy. ESPECIALLY if they don't know you and are unsure of the type of dude you are.

These chicks may like you and were willing to give you a chance but you cannot soley base a conversation and EVERY conversation on a meet ONLY.

You want to make quick lighthearted small talk about other sht. Stuff they're doing etc. and set up a meet but don't push it. Let it marinate in their minds while coming off cool and well rounded to them. Not like some dude who's desperate to meet some chick he's never met. Especially if you are getting vibes they might flake.

Chicks will passively "agree" to not get into an argument or have some dude they aren't sure of possibly blow up their phone, get on their nerves, argue etc. so they'll say "yes" and then flip it on you by flaking and getting YOU annoyed.

Play it cool. Set up meets but talk about other stuff besides a meet quick.

They'll either sense you aren't desperate and decide to meet as you seem cool and not pushy or they won't. Some may hit you up in the future when they're ready. You'll wind up getting less flakes that way.


Would YOU appreciate it if we were friends in real life or I barely knew you and I kept trying to get you to come out somewhere and that's ALL I talked about? Then I told you you need to make it up to me and buy drinks when we went out to watch the game?

You'd get pissed off. Realize I'm a pushy mofo. Don't care if you have a life. And just want my own way. So you'd either stop answering, or "agree" and just not show up.

Talk to a bunch of chicks. Set up meets but always have other small talk involved off topic. If they don't show or give excuses etc? Don't sweat it. Just make small talk again and don't ask them to meet.

Let them offer but don't jump at the chance (nor end the conversation right away as they'll take it you are pissed). Just tell them we'll set something up and you'll text them later.

You may be surprised it cuts down on flakes significantly.

That's fair enough but how does this apply to this chick who flakes on me 20 mins before? ?

I spoke to her on Facebook a bit got number on thurs barely 10 facevook messAges between y us. Text her yest to arrange date for today text today to organise the time and where then she flakes 20 mins before how is that my fault? Prior to the flake I wasn't pushy after the flake I was.

 

[pete101]

Pete. You are the source of your own problems with these chicks flaking.

A chick will start possibly getting more high interest if you don't come across as desperate or pushy. ESPECIALLY if they don't know you and are unsure of the type of dude you are.

These chicks may like you and were willing to give you a chance but you cannot soley base a conversation and EVERY conversation on a meet ONLY.

You want to make quick lighthearted small talk about other sht. Stuff they're doing etc. and set up a meet but don't push it. Let it marinate in their minds while coming off cool and well rounded to them. Not like some dude who's desperate to meet some chick he's never met. Especially if you are getting vibes they might flake.

Chicks will passively "agree" to not get into an argument or have some dude they aren't sure of possibly blow up their phone, get on their nerves, argue etc. so they'll say "yes" and then flip it on you by flaking and getting YOU annoyed.

Play it cool. Set up meets but talk about other stuff besides a meet quick.

They'll either sense you aren't desperate and decide to meet as you seem cool and not pushy or they won't. Some may hit you up in the future when they're ready. You'll wind up getting less flakes that way.


Would YOU appreciate it if we were friends in real life or I barely knew you and I kept trying to get you to come out somewhere and that's ALL I talked about? Then I told you you need to make it up to me and buy drinks when we went out to watch the game?

You'd get pissed off. Realize I'm a pushy mofo. Don't care if you have a life. And just want my own way. So you'd either stop answering, or "agree" and just not show up.

Talk to a bunch of chicks. Set up meets but always have other small talk involved off topic. If they don't show or give excuses etc? Don't sweat it. Just make small talk again and don't ask them to meet.

Let them offer but don't jump at the chance (nor end the conversation right away as they'll take it you are pissed). Just tell them we'll set something up and you'll text them later.

You may be surprised it cuts down on flakes significantly.

And the bit you said abour passively agreeing then flaking and flipping it on you to get you annoyed why do they do that? Like for what purpose .It makes me livid and noy want to waste anymore time on them cos they just like playing attention seeking games.

 

[Blistex]

Like others have pointed out, it is clearly disrespectful to cancel like that, especially with an excuse of "I'm too shy to meet you". I think this was her way of politely blowing you off. Even if she did give you a counter-offer, which she didn't other than the "I'll make it up you" (sure she will... ), I wouldn't go out with her because it would indicate that you tolerated her flake enough to still want to be her.

Forget her, she ain't worth you time.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

it's the getting the number and setting up the meet take so much effort.

And look at all the extra effort you put in after they flake, wasted time that you can use on something else instead. It doesn't matter how much effort you put in, if the girl is flaking don't put in anymore effort with her using more effort isn't going to change things.

Sending 100s of messages to random chicks on facebook hoping a few bite..that's exhausting.

Here is your problem right here, spend more of your time sarging than online. Women are dating guys they meet in person more than they do off Facebook. Some guy she meets in person will always have preference over an online guy whom she never met that's why online flaking is so high.

 

[Krueg]

Pete, I'm not knowledgeable in the internet dating scene, all my dates/girlfriends been through one on one encounters. If you are looking for a serious girlfriend (Long Term) you must protect your heart and weed out the girls with low interest. This saves you time and heart ache!

A girl who has High Interest wont cancel dates or counter-offer, they will follow your lead! Trying to create interest in a un-interested girl wont last long or screw you in the end. It has to be there already for it to work, this is why you must next the girls who say NO to your dates. The first 2 months she has to ACCEPT your date ideas, after the first two months you can relax a little.

 

[NinjaMaster]

And the bit you said abour passively agreeing then flaking and flipping it on you to get you annoyed why do they do that? Like for what purpose .It makes me livid and noy want to waste anymore time on them cos they just like playing attention seeking games.

i can't give her anothe chance can i? no matter the reason cancelling 20 mins before we're supposed to meet is unacceptable and if ever do arrange to meet her again and meet her she'll know she can treat me anyway she can and i'll take it.

it's f;ing annoying because i put so much effort into this and she's hot as well.. and the best i can get is stalemate now.. cos arranging to meet with her will tell her i tolerate her disrespecting me so much that she cant respect me.. i hate when i lose ones over stupid reasons like this, the carnival is only here once a year so i had a sense she might flake because of it but not 20mins beforehand. i know im a stranger but i stilll shouldnt give her another chance right?

Read your own post above. You care too much. And you weren’t being pushy? You’re getting emotional over a chick who neither of you know each other from a can of paint. Online no less.. Do you throw a temper tantrum when a friend of yours says they’ll go somewhere and don’t answer or changes their mind? Do you have other things to do or just rely on others all the time? Why would you drive yourself insane over a chick you don’t know?

You cannot push chicks and expect every chick to drop everything or nothing to come up to meet you like they would some Tatum Channing. It’s not reality and it’s not helpful nor are you going to learn to correct your mistakes.

You simply make small talk mixed in with a possible meet.

If they show? Fine. If not? You don’t worry about it and either hit them up later on sometime in the near future while doing the exact same thing with other chicks. Not SPECIFICALLY just focusing on a meet. Small light hearted talk. Ask them questions. Let them talk a bit. BS about some movie. Don’t have them focused on you simply wanting a meet.

Some chicks will push hard for you to meet. If YOU have time. Then meet. If not or they flake? Hit them up with small talk in the future and don’t ask them out. Let them suggest it.

So she went to a carnival with friends. So she told you she doesn’t feel “Attractive”. At least she replied in the first place. At least you got her number. At least she told you she couldn’t make it and didn’t just drop off.

You can’t start pushing then or show you’re mad or it'll turn people off. (IE: “You owe me.” Some chicks won’t say anything but in their mind they’re thinking: “GTFO”)

Tell her to have fun, and you’ll catch up some time and leave it at that. If she or any chick asks if you’re mad? Just tell them you realize they have a life too and you both don’t know each other from a can of paint yet and to hit you up sometime later on.

And leave it at that. If she contacts you? Make small talk and see how she seems. If she offers to meet? Then go from there. (With this one I'd pretty much drop it altogether.) Just learn from it and mix in more "fluff" talk besides just pushing for a meet right away. Offer a meet. But talk about other things as well so you don't seem "desperate". Some chicks even if they like you and seem eager might want to see how you react to "no" or a change in plans.

Don't sweat it. You're only going to frustrate yourself in the end even more.

 

[hudpes]

Mauser, she is shy at 2 because her nails and toenails aren't done! She's practically naked going out like that, come on!! Plus, she partied like, really hard last night.

Pete, you need to relax. Whatever is happening, shouldn't strike you hard. You don't know this woman, never met her, you're picking her off facebook, and what can you expect? If she wants to come she'll come, if not she won't. Don't lose your temper over that. You chose to continue the conversation because you've misinterpreted her text, it meant she doesn't feel comfortable meeting you. At least not one on one, hence, invitation "come with us".

 

[Great being a man]

You're not paying attention to what I, and many others here, are trying so hard to get men to learn:

You need an abundance mindset with women, you even give 3 seconds thought to some useless female like this because you don't know enough of them

Women are a disposable pleasure

send her a text :

"does this mean I won't be getting that BJ I was looking forward to?"

 

[pete101]

Read your own post above. You care too much. And you weren’t being pushy? You’re getting emotional over a chick who neither of you know each other from a can of paint. Online no less.. Do you throw a temper tantrum when a friend of yours says they’ll go somewhere and don’t answer or changes their mind? Do you have other things to do or just rely on others all the time? Why would you drive yourself insane over a chick you don’t know?

You cannot push chicks and expect every chick to drop everything or nothing to come up to meet you like they would some Tatum Channing. It’s not reality and it’s not helpful nor are you going to learn to correct your mistakes.

You simply make small talk mixed in with a possible meet.

If they show? Fine. If not? You don’t worry about it and either hit them up later on sometime in the near future while doing the exact same thing with other chicks. Not SPECIFICALLY just focusing on a meet. Small light hearted talk. Ask them questions. Let them talk a bit. BS about some movie. Don’t have them focused on you simply wanting a meet.

Some chicks will push hard for you to meet. If YOU have time. Then meet. If not or they flake? Hit them up with small talk in the future and don’t ask them out. Let them suggest it.

So she went to a carnival with friends. So she told you she doesn’t feel “Attractive”. At least she replied in the first place. At least you got her number. At least she told you she couldn’t make it and didn’t just drop off.

You can’t start pushing then or show you’re mad or it'll turn people off. (IE: “You owe me.” Some chicks won’t say anything but in their mind they’re thinking: “GTFO”)

Tell her to have fun, and you’ll catch up some time and leave it at that. If she or any chick asks if you’re mad? Just tell them you realize they have a life too and you both don’t know each other from a can of paint yet and to hit you up sometime later on.

And leave it at that. If she contacts you? Make small talk and see how she seems. If she offers to meet? Then go from there. (With this one I'd pretty much drop it altogether.) Just learn from it and mix in more "fluff" talk besides just pushing for a meet right away. Offer a meet. But talk about other things as well so you don't seem "desperate". Some chicks even if they like you and seem eager might want to see how you react to "no" or a change in plans.

Don't sweat it. You're only going to frustrate yourself in the end even more.

I think you're missing the point with this one that she cancelled 20 mins before we were supposed to meet when she confirmed 2 hours before and expect me to accept that and torelate it like it's ok and im the one being pushy? Are you insane how is it ok she has thins to fo etc etchas a life you're basically condoning her cancelling 20 mins before hand cos she has a life. Fvck that thinking it over I should have just not responded when she flaked or got ibto an argument with her for saying she didn't want to meet cos she was shy but because she wanted to go carnival like a spoilt brat expecting me to come back.

 

[pete101]

Some tidbits in bold

I agree. This is what I should have done