First time sargin's. Need tips. FIELD REPORT

[ApocalypseCow]

Hey guys,

Well, this was my first time going out and talking to girls I didn't know. Mostly this was just a "testing the waters" kind of thing. I went to several malls, WalMarts, Targets, some bookstores, and grocery stores. Surprisingly enough, WalMart and Target had the best choice. I'm definitely going to hit them again.

No number closes. Here's a sampling of some:

Saturday - WalMart

Me: Excuse me, do you go to school around here?
Her: [Looking shocked] Uhh, no. I'm from England.
Me: Oh, so you're new to the country?
Her: Uh, yeah.
Me: Ok, talk to you later.

This was my VERY first one. In retrosepect, I should have said something funny like, "Oh, you're from England? What a coincidence....I speak English!" Something to remember the next time I run into a brit.

Sunday - Target
Me: Excuse me, do you go to school around here?
Her: Oh no, I'm a teacher!
Me: Oh really, what do you teach?
Her: Kindergarten
Me: How are the kids?
Her: They're good.
Me: How long have you been teaching?
Her: About 2 years.
Me: Oh, cool. What's your name?
Her: Lana.
Me: I'm XYZ.
Her: Hi.
Me: Well, talk to you later. Bye.

Now, this was the second teacher I had run into this day, so I had that "How long have you been teaching?" question all prepped up. It's a great way to determine their age. (If she's been teaching for 2 years, she's probably around 24 or 25).

Sunday - Giant FoodStore
Me: Excuse me, do you go to school around here? [Yeah, I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record!]
Her: Oh no, I'm 26!
Me: Oh.
Her: Why, where do you go to school?
Me: Oh, I don't go to school. I was just wondering if you did, because you look like a student.
Her: Oh, thanks!
Me: Talk to you later!

Shoulda gotten some C&F in there, like, "Oh, and 26 year olds can't be students!" or something like that.

I didn't number close at all. I think next week I'll shoot for that. None of the situations felt quite right today. It was my first time out, so I was still getting used to it. My flaw is that I kept expecting them to give me a "Yes" or "No" answer after my first question, but they always gave me a little extra tid-bit about themselves that I wasn't prepared to play off of! So in the future, I'll anticipate that.

A lot of girls looked like a deer caught in headlights. I definitely have to make the conversations longer so they can realize what's happening. It's very reassuring how a lot of them had frowns on their faces before I talked to them, but they all lit up when I started chatting.

Overall, no numbers, but I feel like I took a major step and am moving in the right direction. I know my line of questioning wasn't the most interesting, but I'm still learning.

Any comments welcome.

 

[CON]

Hey bud

It's good to approach strangers. You're confidence will greatly improve. However, if you ask for the # after only what you've shown us, you don't stand a chance. No where did you establish even a bit of rapport with the ladies. Talk to her for at least a few minutes. And you must get her to start talking.

My flaw is that I kept expecting them to give me a "Yes" or "No" answer after my first question, but they always gave me a little extra tid-bit about themselves that I wasn't prepared to play off of! So in the future, I'll anticipate that.

Very Good. This is crucial. (sp?) You have to feed off of what their saying.

 

[Halo]

It's a good start, everything begins modestly. One thing I would recommend is to make sure you get a handshake, physical contact helps in establishing rapport. There are some posts about the "proper" way to shake a female's hand, i.e. make sure it isn't a business-like handshake. You essentially want the palm facing up so she basically places her hand into yours, rather than the standard vertical alignment.

 

[uniassign]

I think you need a better opener. A good opener would actually get the chicks TALKING instead of just saying yes or no.

Ask their opinion about something. Something about relationship or fashion should usually get them talking.

You are asking too many questions, which gives off the marketer/promoter vibe. More talking from you within the first couple of minutes is best, otherwise chicks will be more on guard as they usually smell a scheme from a guy who approaches them and ask too many questions.

Good effort though!

 

[Unbridled_1]

Give yourself credit for taking a chance. Once you take the plunge, it only gets easier. You need a little more confidence in yourself to continue the conversation, as based on what you have written your targets were open to talking. Get them more involved in the convo , and do some deep breathing before you approach so that you will appear as relaxed as possible.

Uniassign, are those Juggler's ideas or your own??

 

[ApocalypseCow]

Thanks for the tips. Yeah, I need to spice up the convo some. But how do I start talking about myself after only asking them a few questions?

I definitely think I need to smile more and play off of what they say. My confidence has been boosted a little, so I think I can now start with a "Hi" instead of needing to ask some question.

Anyone have "dialogues" from their cold-approaches?

 

[jakethasnake]

I ususally try ultra-****y one-liners. If the girl has a sense of humor and some oompha in her, then she'll appreciate it and play along.


I was eating the the cafeteria and I met gazes with a very pretty Indian girl. A fukken Miss Universe-like face (Indians are always winning those pageants every year for some reason). I barely smiled b/c I was tired, gave her a smirk. She looks down, smiling, then without asking comes to sit on my table. Not direcltly opposite me, but slightly to the side. She starts eating silently.


Then I notice a crumb on her face. I tell her, and she wipes it off, looking embarrassed. I smile, she smiles.

This piques my killer instinct. a moment later, she can't open her Orange juice carton, so I just take it from her, smile, and say "Geez, can't you do anything?" And open it for her, hand it backa and give her a ****y smirk. I can be a ruthless som-'***** at times.


I was expecting her to bite, and shoot back with a ****y smile. But no dice -- she didnt' bite.

I guess this girl was shy, or had lower self-esteem than I thought or was not hot enough. I must have misjudged ( I was right, coz as I was walking away I saw that she had a big azz).


But anyway, that would've gone beautifullly if she had bitten, but not this time. Oh well, some you win, some you don't. I did tell her that I was just "bustin' her balls" afterwards, smiled, and told her to take it easy. She seemed a little more comfortable as I left.

 

[One on One]

I've found that the best openers are without question brief jokes or observations, NOT questions. Questions tend to put someone on the spot and make them feel uncomfortable. It is crucial to get good at observation...a simple comment such a "nice shirt" when they are wearing something that catches your eye is an "in." It is obviously not great, but it's still probably the best way to begin.

In your FIRST conversation, you clearly made her feel uncomfortable. She was totally on the spot. I think you know your mistake though, and next time you should comment on the fact that she's from England. You could say something simple like "I bet you're enjoying the weather around here" (assuming you're in a decent climate since I hear England weather sucks).

The SECOND conversation looks like it was your best chance to build rapport. She appeared to like teaching and you were getting her to talk about what she enjoyed doing. A joke could've gotten her totally into you. Also, when you ask her name, give her a moment to ask for yours. Rather than volunteering your name right away, tell her that you like her name or that you have a friend with the same name...anything but immediately giving your name.

 

[chicago#one]

What works, what doesn't

Hi,

I haven't posted here much lately, but have been lurking, and wanted to add my two bits.

Cold approaches are hard, and I don't use them, with occasional exception. There are far too many natually interactive situations to worry about it.

Me: Hi
Her: Hi (no smile, next)
Me: How is your day (neutral reply+no counter asking=next)
Her: And you?
Me: Blah Blah. Do anything fun over the weekend?
Her: Opportunity to bail, expand conversation, or prove herself uninteresting(ted).
Me: Oh, I really like x place/do you know abut y thing/ have you ever done z?

Keep eye contact, but don't stare. Smile, but don't leer. Keep cool. If you run into her on a regular basis, don't number close, build rapport, close on the second or third time. If you won't see her again, reveal soemthing that allows her to find you (i.e. hang outs, etc) and get her number (if she comes and finds you the next day=high IL).

Follow this and you will weed out the no-go's like crazy without looking like a player.

Chicago#one

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

XYZ... that's a rare name. Is it Polish? I don't think it's Scottish.

I had a great ucle way back who was named pzqr. They called him pizzy for short. Oh you can imagine how he was laghed at so much...

 

[journey]

you could always start with "hello, i love you, wont you tell me your name"

oh pelvic thrusts are recommended

 

[davelmn2003]

I like the fact that some of you include some sample dialogues. Those help!

I want to expand my pick-up area from bars and clubs to "regular" places as well, like Target, which I frequent.

More sample dialogues (especially those that close with a #) would be great. I still don't have the guts to go up and say hi...I've never done anything like this (with the purpose of getting a #)...

Hope to hear about more experiences from you guys.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

A.C

You get props any way possible..i mean sh*t man..its cold approaches!!!

Not many ppl do this and its great that youve done this and posted your experiances..i love the posts like these because i find it encourages me to "step out".

I dont give a f*ck that you may have used the wrong opener or that you sounded like a broken record...practice makes perfect it sounded like you did pretty damn good your first time so theres nowhere to go but up.

Kepp up the good work man and keep us posted on further developments.

 

[Walden]

The cold apprach is like doing comedy.
You have to make your audience laugh in the first 30 seconds or they'll totally switch off.

My pattern is usually ;

Greeting (pause of two marching paces) + Question ,

[reply],

My answer to whatever the question was "Yeah , I like it here too , I haven't been here in..."( this stops you just being Mike Wallace asking questions) then,

Hilarious observation "Yeah it took me so long to get served last week I had to update my dredit card before I could pay...(yes I know , but this is an example okay?).

And man , as soon as you get that fist laugh , you are in busness.

JMHO , YMMV