First Impressions: Five Bad Ones to Avoid

[vicki]

Guys: There are probably hundreds but avoid these five:

1. Acting anxious, nervous, desperate, or clueless. Results in
talking too fast, breathing fast, desperation, begging, and
inane questions, and fawning lame-o clueless compliments
like "you look incredible" or "what are you doing saturday night"

instead of a confident salesman who knows there are always
other prospects.

2. Bad grooming. This includes lame shoes, t shirts,
and bad hygiene

3. Not appearing masculine. You know the wire rim peace-nik
glasses, the overly polite tamed boy, and the man without
any men-hobbies or looking like you'd die in 20 minutes if
the car broke down.

4. Talking too much and too fast. Dont' reveal EVERYTHING
about yourself in the first 8 minutes. Is there anything else
left?

5. Asking HER what she wants to do as if youre taking
an order in a restaurant. Dont you have any ideas of
your own?

 

[Brad23]

What do you mean by 'man' hobbies?

You mean I am not a man unless I'm into ju-jitsu or some s.hit like that? Or a pro boxer? C'mon girl don't b a byatch.

Maybe guys don't approach you because you seem like a b.itch, just the vibes I'm getting from you.

 

[Brad23]

That's one thing many men cannot stand about women.

MY hobbies are MY hobbies because 'I' enjoy doing them. Not because they have a more 'manly' image - in short, not on the off-chance that they might please you.

My hobbies are not something I do to seduce girls like you.

 

[Shiftkey]

Brad23, does someone who enjoys watching Oprah and spending their free time crochetting seem manly to you?

Vicki, some sound advice.

 

[lil devun]

good stuff, number 5 especially

 

[jtws]

I represent my school in hockey and that alone has raised my profile with the ladies .

Do you think that would happen if I was a member of the Stamp Club or Science Society ?

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Hey Vicki, it says in your profile that you're a model. You're not one of those plus-size models or a foot model, are you? But, I digress.


Nice post. I hate to say it, but I totally agree with you Vicki, based on personal experience. I'm a typical pretty boy, and when I was a "nice guy", I got hit on by gay guys and fat chicks all the time, but couldn't get anywhere with the hotties. Women really are most attracted to masculinity. When I became more masculine, I had hotter girls hitting on me and flirting with me. The gay guys and fatties didn't come around much. Being manly is definitely first and foremost, the most important thing a guy needs to succeed with women. You're saying, "Duh!" But, it's something guys have a hard time seeing themselves as unmasculine, even if they are. It sort of hurts your identity as a man. Because you know you're a man, but you may not appear very manly.

Then I started to look to masculine role models, and realized that being like them not only made me more appealing to women, but everyone respected me more. And, more importantly, I liked myself better. After all, a man is supposed to be a man. Some men just don't get what it means to be a man or to be masculine. Some men are not to blame for this, as we are a society mostly raised by women. Look at all the man bashing in the media, all the single moms raising boys to be girly-men. I'm not trying to point fingers, but where are the great male role models? There aren't many.

Even if you're role models are from movie characters, a young man needs male role models. I picked my screen-name for one of my favorite male role models. Watch Clint Eastwood movies (especially Heartbreak Ridge , one of my favorites since I'm a former jarhead.) Would anyone accuse any of Clint Eastwoods characters of being unmanly. I think not! What about Harrison Ford (Han Solo, Indiana Jones, etc.) And James Bond. As far as pretty boys not being manly, what about Brad Pitt in Fight Club ?

I think being masculine involves a lot more than your hobbies and overall look. Being masculine is all about attitude. It's action, body language, composure, handling fear with courage, being masculine within yourself, and many other things. Becoming masculine doesn't happen naturally for some guys. But for many it is a process. Any guy can become more masculine while still retaining his identity.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Oops. Forgot to add that I also agree with neat appearance being important. It shows that you respect and care about yourself.

As far as talking too much or too fast and being anxious, it all goes back to being manly. Men maintain their composure. Watch Cary Grant when women hurl zingers at him. He's totally cool about it, no matter how beautiful or upset they are.

And recognizing that there are other prospects is not just understanding that dating is a numbers game and how attraction works, but it's about being manly. Would James Bond act desperate around a woman. Hell no!

Asking her what she wants to do. --- As a man you're supposed to be a leader. You're supposed to take charge. Could you see Han Solo asking Princess Leia where she wanted to go or what she wants to do? It's so hard to imagine that it's comical. That's why I say watch movies if you have to in order to learn what it means to be a man. Just watch the right movies! Picture yourself in recent situations you've had with women and then try to picture these movie characters acting the way you did in the same situation. I bet you'll either laugh at yourself or be embarassed. Then you'll get the idea of what you need to work on!

 

[vicki]

Clarification on masculinity, "men-hobbies", and peacenik boys

Guys,

All good responses. I need to clear up the masculinity thing as
there is a lot of confusion.

First of all, no ONE thing makes you feminine. Watching oprah,
knitting, or even an interest in fashion ...masculine men of
all types do some of these things.

Im talking about your basic personality!!!!!!!!!

Do you seem strong, capable, with formed opinions,
hobbies, of your own?

Or are you weenie peacenik boy, (Ok, so the feminists
have created a few monsters) who no women can
feel attracted to? Women like lifeforce, direction,
drive, AND a well developed cultural side. Not either or.

 

[Darkart]

"Because you know if a guy is nervous around you the best thing to do is crush his tiny level of self esteem, girls..."

This is why women get raped?

 

[Lionheart]

"Results in talking too fast,"

I do this naturally, it's something I can't help ever since I found this site, I am always busy doing something so I just do everything fast.

In other words

"I think fast, I talk fast, I act fast and I need you to act fast if you wanna get out of this."
Harvey Keitel

"You know the wire rim peace-nik glasses"

Are you completely f-ucking retarded?

1. If someone has to have glasses, such as I do due to premature birth, then what the **** can they do about that?
I have to wear glasses, but I don't settle for the milk bottle lenses that I would have to have usually, I paid £300 for designer frames and the best and slimmest lenses I could get.

Honestly, I thought women were meant to be more compassionate!

2. Peacenik? You use this completely out of context, so we should all be violent bastards?
Or is this a purely style thing?

Some of the points you make are valid Vicki, but some of this stuff is highly superficial.

The old adage "Never let a women tell you what women want."

Lion.

 

[rbd]

The gunwitch method has a point that I think will eliminate 1,4, and 5 from happening for most folks.

When you see a girl you're going to approach, simply envision you having sex with her. That will get you in the right frame of mind.

The gunwitch method is not my style, but this point he makes is very valid I think, and I have been trying to integrate it into what I do.

http://gunwitch.fastseduction.com/

Check out section 8 in particular.

Robby