FIRST first date advice - coffee shop?

[duke007]

OK I'm ready to call a girl and ask her out on a date, but since this will be my first ever I want to confirm a few things.

First of all, I'm favouring a simple coffee shop date since I don't know her that well and we can end it early if things don't work out. The stuff in the bible says a first date should be in the evening, but is coffee really suitable for an evening out?

By this I mean getting all dressed up only for coffee may look like a cheap dodgy option. Also people usually get hungry in the evening. If I make this date at dinner time, she'd most likely miss out on a meal that night.

So that leaves me wondering whether coffee is suitable and whether it should be lunch or evening? If it were to be evening, do you think making the date a bit later (like 8:30) would allow us to have dinner separately beforehand?

Sorry for possibly overanalysing this but it just seems to be a grey area that nobody has really discussed.

Also, since I may not want to waste my Saturday, is Sunday night OK if she's working on Monday? And if it is just a coffe date, would picking her up at her house be over the top?

Thanks for helping out a newbie...

 

[trevjr]

Yes, you really want to do something like a cup of coffee earlier say right after work. This way if it goes bad you can say you have to go. If it is going well then you can suggest something to eat. What you do not want to do is to spend $40 on dinner for someone who is talking on her cell phone the whole time. Also a movie is not good because you cannot talk.

 

[duke007]

So then if it's straight after work would I just arrange to meet her there?

 

[Oxide]

went out monday night. first date, comedy club and coffee shop. coffee shops own, go there at around 9-10

 

[Walden]

Dating for dummies.

There's two kinds of dates the short date (that lasts as long as it takes to drink a latte) and long dates (designed to last the whole evening). Ideally you want a long date (because no one goes to bed with you after a short date unless you've been together for a very long time). Unless you're just doing the short date to get the first date out of the way.

A short date you arrange to meet some place casual , you have lunch or coffee or cook up heroin and shoot it between your toes together then you mention the fact that you hafta go someplace and you leave .

A long date goes like this; you pick three things to do. The primary thing you met for (dinner is good), then you pick some other thing to do after that (you 'spontaneously' suggest it over dinner , if there's a jazz band someplace then go see them, maybe three's a comedy club in your town , maybe you should go play air hockey , whatever) , and after that you get coffee someplace or a glass of wine at a quiet little sinatra bar.

Then because it's getting late you ask her where she's parked , and walk her to her car. Pay for dinner if you want but always pay for the thing you do before walking her to her car.

The key thing is to relax and enjoy it , part of the fun of dating is you get to go nice places and do nice things whilst trying to look down the top of a nice girl.

Good luck and good hunting.

 

[duke007]

I need some quick advice guys.

I've decided the time and place for the date, but I've just realised the day I'm planning (monday) is five days away. I have a busy weekend coming up and that's the earliest I can do.

I was planning to call today since I got the number five days ago, but it's bad to set up a time this far away right?

So is it fair enough to wait another day to make the call?

 

[Oxide]

i waited 7. u can too. its mor eimportant to not let her forget about the date, then making her wait a bit longer.

 

[Walden]

The long wait can sting u if yr not careful.

You could try calling her midweek , have a brief witty conversation and arrange the date then.

 

[duke007]

F@ck my luck people...

I made the call and this girl is now in Adelaide (halfway across the damn country). I told her that would make it quite difficult for me to set up a date. I got a laugh out of that and she said she'd call me when she got back (got number from my call). I doubt this will happen but it would be pretty funny if she did.

I'm wondering if she flaked but it was the first week of her holidays and just about everyone these days goes home over their break. Also she seemed a bit too intelligent and classy to make up stories like that.

Why is it that my first two numbers closes have gone on holidays the week after? The first one I'd already knew was going but heck this first date has been way too elusive for my liking - 0 out of 3. (First time got stood up)

Oh well time to hit the field again...