First date...with her roommates?

[alboh]

Here is the scenario. This girl I met over Friendster (haven't talked to her over the phone even) has invited me out to a jazz concert downtown tonight. The only thing is she said (by email) "my roommates heard about the concert and wanted to come along, just to warn you." So I need to soliticit opinions from people who have been in this situation. Personally it doesn't phase me too much, though it is quite an extra challenge especially if her friends keep stealing her attention away. On the other hand, I haven't seen live jazz in ages

What do you guys think? Should I go for it?

 

[sfalexi]

She wants her friends there for one of two reasons. (A) protection cause she's never met you before and/or (B) so they can size you up and tell her whether to go for it or not (they'll be swapping gossip about you everytime you leave the table for some reason).

It's up to you whether you want to deal with it. I personally wouldn't break it off. But I'd definitely invite her up to dance and work a little on the dance floor (where you're AWAY from her friends)

 

[Straydog]

Don't go

If she's worth it it doesn't matter if you miss out on the jazz night with her.

You want her to know that your're into her, right? So don't do ANYTHING that will get you into friendszone.

Make up some excuse to why you can't go - then keep up some small amount of contact and ask her out ín a week or two.

 

[sfalexi]

My bad. I thought you already told her you could go. If you haven't don't go. But if you have, keep it up so as not to look like you're canceling BECAUSE her friends are coming

 

[Wubbman]

Maybe her friends are going because they want to hear the concert too. I would go. Its not like an invitation to marriage.

 

[Straydog]

Don't listen to Wubbman

Do what you feel is right and I just KNOW thait ain't hanging out with her girly-gossip cok-blocking friends.

She will lose respect for you

Her friends will tell her you're a "nice guy", a wuss

You'll be turned into a puppy

 

[xhikari]

well this is just a suggestion here...u guys can comment on it
why don't he bring along his friends and well just meet her up say a couple of words and enjoy the concert with his pals.
tat way he would not appear so desperate, and there might not be much place to categorize him as "nice" or etc....and well he can have pure fun as well instead of freakin out about how she or her friends are gonna size him up
how's tat??? comments are appreciated

 

[whistler]

$100 says she planned the night to include her friends from the beginning.

 

[Dapper Swindler]

Meeting someone for the first time with her roommates there with you? Not only do you have to worry about getting to know this girl, you have to deal with her roommates too. It's like all the pressure of a blind date x 3. And at a jazz concert, you won't even get much of a chance to talk. Maybe an experienced DJ could handle that but there is so much that could go wrong, including what everyone else has been saying.

I think she was already planning to go to this concert with her roommates from the beginning. So let her go and arrange to meet her for coffee or something later. I don't think passing on this date is going to end your chances with her. Coffee would be in a public place so she should be comfortable with that.

 

[alboh]

Well thanks for the responses guys. I decided to go through with it anyway, and I must say I think I made the right choice because she woke up naked in my bed this morning

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by alboh
Well thanks for the responses guys. I decided to go through with it anyway, and I must say I think I made the right choice because she woke up naked in my bed this morning

Good job. I was going to respond and say to bring a couple of buddies with you, but forget it.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by alboh
Well thanks for the responses guys. I decided to go through with it anyway, and I must say I think I made the right choice because she woke up naked in my bed this morning

Here's a man who gets it. Once you reach the upper levels of the DJ (the lion and Dragon) you will begin to see things are only obsticles for you to hurdle, not for you to simply quit. There is way too much quitting in here. That is usually do to low volume of options. When you have a lot of options the passage of time works differently (law of relativity). By the time you get back around to them a week or two will pass, so you begin to not look for reason to quit because your mind is in so many other places to turn mole hills into mountians.
Good work homey.

 

[alboh]

I don't mean to seem ungrateful to all the advice people gave. But she seemed like a cool girl who would be considerate of my situation. Also I have ADHD so I tend to thrive on high-risk situations.

As it turned out, she only had one roommate with her (the roommate's date couldn't come). So we chilled together at the bar of some awful yuppie jazz club, tried to skip out on the bill but got caught. The roommate left and this girl and I went off to a bar that happened to be close to my apartment, had some pitchers, did some arts and crafts (the bar has art supplies available on Mondays).

We drew what started as an angel, then turned into a gruesome muder scene involving a dismemebered head and a giant erection. Then we walked out, wandered around my neighbourhood talking and as we passed my building I just basically turned right into my lobby and got my keys out. Pretty easy.

I need to stress I didn't fell like I was "gaming" her. I was just having a good time, combining 1 part corny jokes and humour with 1 part barely concealed sexual lust - basically being myself. Seems to have worked out this time.

 

[Bonhomme]

Sweet

.

 

[sybertiger]

You said:
"As it turned out, she only had one roommate with her (the roommate's date couldn't come). So we chilled together at the bar of some awful yuppie jazz club, tried to skip out on the bill but got caught. The roommate left and this girl and I went off to a bar that happened to be close to my apartment, had some pitchers, did some arts and crafts (the bar has art supplies available on Mondays). "

Ha - would that bar happen to be the **** and Bull?

And let's see, jazz club... "Upstairs'?

Hit me back

 

[alboh]

syber--

The Jazz place was House of Jazz. But you got the bar right -- I love C0ck & Bull, especially on Mondays.

I've never been to Upstairs, but I've heard it was pretty good. Is this true?

 

[PRMoon]

opportunity knocks

If indeed you met this girl through a really low contact way then having her friends is ment for two things.

One she wants to know whether or not you're a freaky stalker. I've said it time and time again, online dating removes alot of the elements that can only be attained through direct contact. So she wants to be sure that you are who you say you are and how you say you are and the whole thing isn't some sort of scam to meet a pretty girl out.

Second and far more importantly for her, is she wants to get her friends opinion of this guy she's probably bragged to her friends over for as long as you two have been talking. I assume you said nothing but good honest things about yourself over this dating service, that is if you have any brains, which i'm sure you do. So she's been trying to convice her friends that she's got the best thing since sliced bread on her hands and she wants to prove it to them by having them there. It doesn't really matter how it came about, if it wasn't a concert that her friends came up, there would have been another place with another reason as to why her friends had to be there.

I'd go just because if you have the goods and indeed can deliver, then you'll be able to kill two birds with one stone. First making a good live impression with this girl by showing her how much of a class act you are with her and her friends. Second making a good impression with her friends will benifit you in ways you can't even see down the line but are numerous.

I look at it not as an obsticle but as an opportunity to do well in an over all stand point for whatever relationship you might form.