First date - failed to make a move

[BJP1991]

Went on a date with a girl from Hinge - lasted about 2.5 hours. It went well, basically according to the book, as far as first "dates" go in terms of conversation and her asking me a lot of questions, which I always continued to keep the conversation going by asking her questions about herself instead. She did 75% of the talking, easily.

We leave the establishment, and she thanks me for the time, I said it was a pleasure meeting her and we would talk soon. No hug, no first date kiss either (which I usually try to make my goal, but somehow, this one just slipped away - it seemed to happen so fast and I didn't realize I lost the chance until it was too late, despite wanting to go for it the whole time).

What do you guys think? Is missing an opportunity for a first date kiss really that big of an issue? I'll probably text her on sunday or monday to ask her out for the coming week - is that proper, in this case?

I hate to feel like I missed a major chance to amp up the romance-level, and nearly every first date where I go for the kiss, it is received positively and turns out how I want it to with more dates and sex, etc. Just feeling like I missed the train here - any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.

 

[sangheilios]

If a girl is interested at all none of this should really matter all that much, seriously. I personally would never feel comfortable to kiss some woman I went on a date with for the first time, as I see that as way too intimate with a stranger.

 

[greatsnake]

Depends on the chick; her religious/moral background. But if she seemed open minded and didn’t give you something to work with, i’d Take it that she wasn’t interested. Next!

 

[BJP1991]

Depends on the chick; her religious/moral background. But if she seemed open minded and didn’t give you something to work with, i’d Take it that she wasn’t interested. Next!

Hard to say - but she was very easy to converse with and gave me plenty to work with, conversationally. I suppose I will find out when I hit her up in 3-4 days

 

[sangheilios]

Hard to say - but she was very easy to converse with and gave me plenty to work with, conversationally. I suppose I will find out when I hit her up in 3-4 days

Most women are not going to initiate with a man, especially with one she is on a first date with. I wouldn't read too much into all of this, just text her at your discretion and ask for a date, from there you can gauge whether or not she is interested.

However, if you do go on a second date then you should try to create some sort of physical contact.

Edit: I'd honestly think it'd be better to not kiss and avoid too much physical contact than the other way around. If a woman doesn't really know you all that well she is not going to be comfortable with it, regardless of whether or not she is attracted to you.

 

[CMNILS87]

I never kiss or kino hard till 2nd date. Other guys go hard and aggressive the first date, but I think you need to chill since it comes off as desperate 50/50

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Went on a date with a girl from Hinge - lasted about 2.5 hours. It went well, basically according to the book, as far as first "dates" go in terms of conversation and her asking me a lot of questions, which I always continued to keep the conversation going by asking her questions about herself instead. She did 75% of the talking, easily.

We leave the establishment, and she thanks me for the time, I said it was a pleasure meeting her and we would talk soon. No hug, no first date kiss either (which I usually try to make my goal, but somehow, this one just slipped away - it seemed to happen so fast and I didn't realize I lost the chance until it was too late, despite wanting to go for it the whole time).

What do you guys think? Is missing an opportunity for a first date kiss really that big of an issue? I'll probably text her on sunday or monday to ask her out for the coming week - is that proper, in this case?

I hate to feel like I missed a major chance to amp up the romance-level, and nearly every first date where I go for the kiss, it is received positively and turns out how I want it to with more dates and sex, etc. Just feeling like I missed the train here - any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.

Yes. It screams beta cuck provider and baby ****kkk.

Not doing it right kuz.

I made out with a girl in epiphany phase the other night knowing full well i had no intention of seeing her again lol

Why???

LIFE'S TO ****IN BORING NOT TO TRY.

Its called catch and release. Its all practice. Every chick no matter how hawtttt is purely for sport.

Its not the super bowl or champions league final and or game 7 of 7 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. There are more. Herein lies abundance.

Epiphany phase cause my **** won't suck it self. It is absurd and its all for the lulz.

Meanwhile hotter girls are turning 18 19 20 21 everyday.

Step your game up.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I never kiss or kino hard till 2nd date. Other guys go hard and aggressive the first date, but I think you need to chill since it comes off as desperate 50/50

Wtf did i just read?

I ****kkk on what betas call 1st date.

My recent work includes Monday night skull **** and a mid week parkin lot throater.

#nextset

I swear a lot of guys really need to get their testosterone checked.

Hard for a kiss? My ****kkk gets hard and I tell her what to do.

Her ability to follow my lead is the determining factor in whether her assistance will be required in the future. SRS

Too aggressive lulz

You guys kill me. Also make doing the Robbery like child's play.

Please continue on amateur hour game.

I'd like to see someone try parkin lot finger blast during the make out.

I would skull **** a slut and some delusional DJ will preach here about he found a perfect girl but she made him wait.

Meanwhile my proteins are doing the backstroke in her anal cavity and digestive tract.

You wut mate?

 

[EyeBRollin]

You’re okay. Just make sure you kiss her kind of early on the second date.

 

[CMNILS87]

Wtf did i just read?

I ****kkk on what betas call 1st date.

My recent work includes Monday night skull **** and a mid week parkin lot throater.

#nextset

I swear a lot of guys really need to get their testosterone checked.

Hard for a kiss? My ****kkk gets hard and I tell her what to do.

Her ability to follow my lead is the determining factor in whether her assistance will be required in the future. SRS

Too aggressive lulz

You guys kill me. Also make doing the Robbery like child's play.

Please continue on amateur hour game.

I'd like to see someone try parkin lot finger blast during the make out.

I would skull **** a slut and some delusional DJ will preach here about he found a perfect girl but she made him wait.

Meanwhile my proteins are doing the backstroke in her anal cavity and digestive tract.

You wut mate?

What the **** are you talking about

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

What the **** are you talking about

Step your game up kuz and find out.

 

[RickTheToad]

Step your game up kuz and find out.

Not everyone can operate like you. Nothing wrong with it, and if it's true, congrats, but to each their own. Everyone needs to find their own way to get to the goal line. It's just not cool picking on dudes who are just learning or who are not as in front and on their game as you are. I know, a few dudes here in Bridgeport and they hang like you. And you know what, good for them (and you). However, one was accused of forcing her head down in the car to give him a BJ. It's on CTPost. He's in jail right now. If he gets a sex offender charge (he'll have to register as a sexual predator), his life is theoretically over.

Sorry @DEEZEDBRAH, this is not the 90's or 20's. It's not worth the risk to be that forceful.

 

[Glassguy]

I never kiss or kino hard till 2nd date. Other guys go hard and aggressive the first date, but I think you need to chill since it comes off as desperate 50/50

It depends on how you escalate and seduce.

I normally dont kino a woman on a first date. I chill and just have a good time and observe her actions. Almost always, the chick will start touching my arms, my knees, etc and show that she is sexually interested.
Remember that you are there to decide if you are interested in her.......not to see if she is going to validate you.

Once the woman starts light kino I will make a move.

You will lose more chicks by not escalating than you will escalating. If you are out on a date with a woman and it is going well, she knows well and good that you want to fvck her. That means dont be thirsty but be a man and make the move when you know she is sexually feeling you and then escalate naturally.

Never apologize for being a man and making a move on a chick that you're out on a date with.

 

[BJP1991]

Thanks everybody - for the record, I make a move and go for the kiss on 90+% of dates with the women who make the date a good time - this one just slipped away before I knew it.

I already made plans with her for dinner this wednesday night and I will be picking her up from her place. Any tips for escalating earlier on in the date? Also, when picking up a girl, do you wait at their door or just wait in your car? (typically, I wait in the car, but have been considering meeting them at their door, but not sure if that is a little creepy or not). I feel like moving with physical contact and perhaps a kiss would happen easier when walking together to your vehicle to start the date.

Any recommendations?

 

[BJP1991]

It happens, don't beat yourself up over it.

But, dinner? Why? Seems too early and also it's tough to escalate. Why not something with some activity...billiards, bowling, etc.

Think of the kiss as being possible at any point of the date. If you're getting in plenty of kino you should be able to make a move mid-date, takes the pressure off that whole "walk her to her door" thing.

The plan is dinner and drinks, so my idea was to take her for dinner, then we walk to a nearby bar for exactly what you suggested (a drink or two plus darts or pool or whatever is going on). Was also considering a restaurant with mini golf nearby, too, or maybe bowling.

What about that idea? Dinner + activity/drinks? I would never just do straight dinner

 

[BJP1991]

Personally I wouldn't take a girl one on one to dinner until after at least one lay. Not that I'm rewarding her. It's more because dinner is time consuming and boring, and not conducive to kino, make-outs, etc. You said your first date was 2.5 hours, that's a long time, and this will be just as long if you include dinner. It's a truism among PUAs that dinner dates are not good dates. No rule is ironclad, however, so if it works for you, go for it.

Makes sense, but I thought DJ was not the PUA community?

I’ve narrowed down my options, and my plan will be dinner followed by an activity, other than bowling or pool/darts, since those are kind of generic and not as cool as what my city has to offer.

As far as trying to escalate earlier in the date, what would you recommend since I’ve sort of pigeon-holed myself with the dinner part happening first in the date.

 

[RickTheToad]

Makes sense, but I thought DJ was not the PUA community?

I’ve narrowed down my options, and my plan will be dinner followed by an activity, other than bowling or pool/darts, since those are kind of generic and not as cool as what my city has to offer.

As far as trying to escalate earlier in the date, what would you recommend since I’ve sort of pigeon-holed myself with the dinner part happening first in the date.

Come on dude. No dinner until after sex. Just drinks, some appetizers and maybe a fun cheap event. Check Groupon or Living Social for discounted activities.

 

[BJP1991]

Come on dude. No dinner until after sex. Just drinks, some appetizers and maybe a fun cheap event. Check Groupon or Living Social for discounted activities.

Like I said, I do have good options for the after dinner activity already. I agree that maybe I jumped the gun on dinner, but that is besides the point now. Typically, I don’t do dinner on a second date, but alas, that is what will happen now.

As for escalating with kino earlier on, I may try to arrange us to sit at the bar at the restaurant we are going to. It will likely be busy, so it would be an easy way to sit side by side and make it less formal and allow for some kino to occur. But aside from that, any suggestions on the escalation, aside from just reminding me that dinner before sex is not the right idea?

It’s worked out in the past, where second date dinner and activity has been just fine. Just needing pointers on building kino/escalating with dinner dates, if possible.

Part of the reason I went the dinner-route is, despite my better knowledge, this girl is a winner (HB8-9 and great personality, entirely my type, which gets to my head at times). I know it doesn’t mean much, but we did vibe really well on the first date, and it made me kick myself for not making the move on that date.


For example, when picking up a date, do you wait in your car or do you meet them at their door for an easy chance to kino right away?

 

[RickTheToad]

Like I said, I do have good options for the after dinner activity already. I agree that maybe I jumped the gun on dinner, but that is besides the point now. Typically, I don’t do dinner on a second date, but alas, that is what will happen now.

As for escalating with kino earlier on, I may try to arrange us to sit at the bar at the restaurant we are going to. It will likely be busy, so it would be an easy way to sit side by side and make it less formal and allow for some kino to occur. But aside from that, any suggestions on the escalation, aside from just reminding me that dinner before sex is not the right idea?

It’s worked out in the past, where second date dinner and activity has been just fine. Just needing pointers on building kino/escalating with dinner dates, if possible.

Part of the reason I went the dinner-route is, despite my better knowledge, this girl is a winner (HB8-9 and great personality, entirely my type, which gets to my head at times). I know it doesn’t mean much, but we did vibe really well on the first date, and it made me kick myself for not making the move on that date.


For example, when picking up a date, do you wait in your car or do you meet them at their door for an easy chance to kino right away?

You're heading for disaster dude. Might as well just open a window and throw the money out the window as you are driving. At least you would receive a better value.

1) Just change for drinks and an apps. You will not get into her pants through food and drink. She's seeing you again, so that is a good sign. She'll have more respect for you if you do not follow the same M.O. as so many other dudes. Be different. Drinks and apps only. If you get a third date, you go to her place or she goes to yours and you cook a meal and "watch a movie".

2) Sit next to her, not across. You need to conduct the kino subtlety. Here's a good intro video. It's pretty basic, but works to help escalate.

3) Stop with the dinner dates. Stop putting these ladies on a pedestal. You taking out to dinner is putting them on a pedestal. They've not earned a dinner date yet.

4) When you first see her, give her a hug, hold it for around 3 seconds and smile. Make sure you are wearing some good cologne too. A spray behind both ears and top of one hand, smack them together (the top of both hands) and you are good to go. Spray about 30 minutes prior to meet.

5) Don't tell her the activity, if you listen to us, and only do dinner and drinks, after you are done, you take her hand and say come with me, we're going to do something fun. Then go to the event. If you are doing the activity first, after the activity, say I'm a bit thirsty, let's grab a drink and something to eat. subtle kino builds report. Then, follow some of the video points above.

6) Most importantly, have a good time!

 

[BJP1991]

5) Don't tell her the activity, if you listen to us, and only do dinner and drinks, after you are done, you take her hand and say come with me, we're going to do something fun. Then go to the event. If you are doing the activity first, after the activity, say I'm a bit thirsty, let's grab a drink and something to eat. subtle kino builds report. Then, follow some of the video points above.

6) Most importantly, have a good time!

For #5, my plan is dinner first and an activity second, a drink or two will fall in there whenever most appropriate with time. I think cancelling the dinner portion seems extreme at this point and might not convey the right message now. The place I’m taking her isn’t anything fancy by any means, just a little place that makes for a good date and I would bet she’s never been there before either.