First cold approach review.

[PokerJohn94]

Hey guys! On tuesday I made my first cold approach. There was this brunette. She was sitting at this burger joint in the mall. My and my coworker went to take the lunch there too. When she was heading out, i (P) approached her (B).

P- Hey, stop!
B turns her head.
P- Hey, i noticed you sitting there and just to say, that you look stunning.
B giggles.
P- what is your name?
B - xyz
P shakes her hand and says - my name is zyx. Nice to meet you. Wow you got a firm handshake. I see your dad has tought you how to properly shake hands too
B laughs a little and says- everyone ahakes theyr hand like that.
P - i see you have your uniform on
You work somewhere near?
B- yes I work at zxc store in 2. Floor.
P- oh, i work at qwer store across the street, so we work really near.
B- yeah *giggle*
P - hey, give me your number.
B- you think that's nececarry?
P - you think not?
B - ok, ok.

She gave me her number. We shake hands, and i leave with fraze " have a nice day. Expect my call". On thyrsday at 9:30 i called her.

*picks up*
B- yes?
P- hi, when do you get off work tomorow?
B- at 4...
P- ok, and when do you take a lunch break?
B- umm.. Who is calling?
P- c'mon, dont spoil the suprise element.
B- ok, i dont know yet.
P- the thing is, that i can take lunch break whenever, so i was i tought, we could shedule it together, and you could keep me company. When should i call you tomorrow, when we could shedule it.
B- you can call me at 10:30.
P- ok i will call you at 10:30 than. Bye.
B- bye

So at 11 pm i receive text from her:" I will have a break from 13:00 - 14:00"

I only noticed the text at 1 am so I did not respond.

Next day(today) at 10:30 i text her: Ok. Lets meet by the fountain around one o clock at the 1st floor in the mall
.

No response. Comes 13:00 and I go to the mall anyways
Call her 13:05. Rings but noone picls up. 13:10 rings, but noone picks up. I send her text:" I knew you'll get scared, but you could atleast send me text or something, that you wont show. Mature people dont do that. Bye"

Now I sit at a park and make this post. I think of approaching some girls, but feel low selfesteam becauae the brunette stood me up.

So guys, please give me some feedback. Where did I **** up? For all the answers thanks in advance. Cheers!

 

[No.Danny]

The surprise element bull ****

 

[PokerJohn94]

Ok. What would be a better response when whe asks me who calls? Ordinary answer as:" john from the burgerjoint" would suck, or maybe i am mistaken?

 

[bcollarmechanic]

shouldn't have texted her, there is a possibility she was stuck at work or something, unlikely but a possibility

im really new to the dating game so this is all i have, you did good by making the lunch date as concrete as possible but i would've taken it a step further by telling her ill meet her at her place of work, i myself would've probably showed up 10 mins early too, the more concrete the better, i try to set all my dates up where i pick the girl up, ive learned from that, that there's a lot less chance of her flaking then

 

[PokerJohn94]

I really like the idea about meeting for date in the place i picked her up. Gonna do that from now on. Thanks bcollarmechanic!

 

[hudpes]

You sound a bit jittery. I think the best way is 1. compliment 2. tell her you'd like to go out with her sometime 3. introduce yourself and let her tell you her name in return 4. then the stuff with the uniform blah blah blah 5. number close

When you call, again don't ask when she's free, what she's doing, say something like, I'm going out for lunch tomorrow and I'd like you to join me. -that's it- She will have to ask - when? And you would say, I'll go for lunch anytime I feel like from 1-3 p.m. etc.

Notice the difference? You want to make it seem like she's trying to hook up with you and she's asking all the questions to meet with you, you're in the naturally stronger position and that's appealing to women. Also, you're giving her total freedom with an invitation like that, you WILL go for lunch with or without her, it's not like you care, you would prefer her to be there, but if she's not, you don't give a f*ck. This, again, is appealing to women.

 

[No.Danny]

Ok. What would be a better response when whe asks me who calls? Ordinary answer as:" john from the burgerjoint" would suck, or maybe i am mistaken?

Something ****y, funny.
"That extremely handsome and charming guy from xzy...."

 

[PokerJohn94]

No Dany, YES! When I asked the question, that was the kind of answer I was looking for. For the sake of viarity, you guys have any other good ****y/ funny suggestions what I could have inserted in my conversation with her?

 

[Great being a man]

sounds familiar.........usual issues.

Here is what you need to remember

1. If you are getting out and around enough, you will meet more than her.......then you won't care about her flaky behavior

2. Nice looking women get hit on quite a lot.........they would rather avoid a face to face confrontation, so it's easier to just blow a guy off later by avoiding communication etc.

3. You got her number, made a call etc.......that's all you can really do. Never forget, the words and things you say actually carry very little weight.

the 2 Golden Rules of attraction : If a woman likes the way you look, you can say very little wrong, at least initially...........If she doesn't like the way you look, there is virtually nothing you can say right

Give yourself a pat on the back for approaching...........then get out and do even more.

 

[hudpes]

Great being a man: you know nothing. How a man looks carries little importance to women when it comes to relationships. It's all about the attitude you exude.

 

[Skyline]

Hey guys! On tuesday I made my first cold approach. There was this brunette. She was sitting at this burger joint in the mall. My and my coworker went to take the lunch there too. When she was heading out, i (P) approached her (B).

P- Hey, stop!
B turns her head.
P- Hey, i noticed you sitting there and just to say, that you look stunning.
B giggles.
P- what is your name?
B - xyz
P shakes her hand and says - my name is zyx. Nice to meet you. Wow you got a firm handshake. I see your dad has tought you how to properly shake hands too
B laughs a little and says- everyone ahakes theyr hand like that.

Not really sure that compliment route was the best. That uniform comment you made later on would have worked a little better in my opinion. Don't give the girls you approach your name, wait for them to ask for it. This is one of the best ways to gauge cold approaching interest. If she doesn't ask, chances are she isn't interested. If she does, then you may have a player.

For that last comentt about her handshake, you should have been a bit more charming. She says everyone shakes their hand like that? You say something like: "you know the last girl that shook my hand like that we ended up doing something special." Then smirk.

You can make up charm as well, doesn't really need to be experience. As long as you seem confident in whatever you're saying you'll do fine.

P - i see you have your uniform on
You work somewhere near?
B- yes I work at zxc store in 2. Floor.
P- oh, i work at qwer store across the street, so we work really near.
B- yeah *giggle*
P - hey, give me your number.
B- you think that's nececarry?
P - you think not?
B - ok, ok.

She gave me her number. We shake hands, and i leave with fraze " have a nice day. Expect my call". On thyrsday at 9:30 i called her.

When she asked if it was necessary, that told me that she wants a date right then and there. You should have smirked, offered your hand, and said "you're right it isn't, were already here." Then walked her off somewhere to have a date. On the spot dates, look out for the those!

*picks up*
B- yes?
P- hi, when do you get off work tomorow?
B- at 4...
P- ok, and when do you take a lunch break?
B- umm.. Who is calling?
P- c'mon, dont spoil the suprise element.
B- ok, i dont know yet.
P- the thing is, that i can take lunch break whenever, so i was i tought, we could shedule it together, and you could keep me company. When should i call you tomorrow, when we could shedule it.
B- you can call me at 10:30.
P- ok i will call you at 10:30 than. Bye.
B- bye

So at 11 pm i receive text from her:" I will have a break from 13:00 - 14:00"

I only noticed the text at 1 am so I did not respond.

Next day(today) at 10:30 i text her: Ok. Lets meet by the fountain around one o clock at the 1st floor in the mall
.

No response. Comes 13:00 and I go to the mall anyways
Call her 13:05. Rings but noone picls up. 13:10 rings, but noone picks up. I send her text:" I knew you'll get scared, but you could atleast send me text or something, that you wont show. Mature people dont do that. Bye"

Now I sit at a park and make this post. I think of approaching some girls, but feel low selfesteam becauae the brunette stood me up.

So guys, please give me some feedback. Where did I **** up? For all the answers thanks in advance. Cheers!

If you're off at any time then you should have asked HER when she was free, not if its "okay" to call her. You need to show leadership, do this by making definite dates. The thing that you did was not a definite date, it was a very sloppy attempt. Then that last statement text about being stood up just nailed the coffin shut, when a girl blows you off you go silent.

Cold approaching is a huge numbers game. It teaches you a good abundance mentality, helps you overcome approach anxiety, helps you refine your game, helps you deal with rejection, and helps you practice a positive mindset in tough situations. You're approaching for the wrong reasons, you're approaching for success. Failure will teach you a lot more than succeeding in my opinion, failing challenges you. Succeeding can give you a false sense of satisfaction, you should never stop improving.

Every cold approach is used to help you, you will learn new things upon each approach. The only thing stopping you is your mindset, you need to be more positive. You're doing this for your own improvement, not to actually get a girl. Of course you will actually get the girl sometimes but that should not stop you from continuing with approaching.

You can't stop after 1 failure, in fact I would encourage to fail more so you can try new things. Failure is the only challenefer that will tech you something, if you're willing to learn that is.

 

[Poop1337]

It's not over yet. I think you pissed her off when you ignored her text. That was rude of you. Keep trying with her and keep up the cold approach direct game. try to plan a better date where you can isolate and escalate. The mall is too public maybe unless you take her out on the guise of a smoke break or something and get fresh with her haha