Finding girls that actually make you feel something inside

[animal crackers]

Recently I have messed around with a handful of girls, nothing really serious.

But I'm really not that happy right now guys. Honestly I'm trying to find a girl that I actually have that feeling for. You know the feeling I'm talking about, it's like you two are connected on a different level. The kind of relationship where you are both VERY into each other, and you let everything happen naturally. You know right at the beginning of the relationship when it is like that. Right away usually. It usually goes through my mind as "wow this is different."


My head keeps getting fvcked up right now, because the girl who I felt that for (my ex) I still have feelings for, and I don't think it's so much I want her, as I want that feeling again.

I can't seem to find it though. There are 2 girls Ive been calling and they've been hard to meet up with, but I don't even care. I would have just used them for sex anyway.

Maybe I'm not meeting enough girls.

It's wierd because I'll sometimes get that feeling deep down when I see that girl, and If I have that feeling I just can't approach. It's just fear, really illogical, but it still happens.

What do you guys think? Are those girls that are really really good with you few and far between?
Does anybody else get that approach fear on the girls you actually REALLY feel something for?


animal crackers

 

[tmpgstx]

Are those girls that are really really good with you few and far between?

Yes! You have no idea until you realize it even more when getting older. I'm in my early 30's and there have been a sum total of two girls that brought out the best in me (one right now). The first i never went with and the one now has a boyfriend (not in the best relationship either i might add).

Some people never find that special feeling where the other person makes them want to be a better man or woman. The best they can be.

With all the people on the planet, it's really surpising and dumb founding and goes to show you life isn't fair and you have to find your own way to get and live the way and life you want. It also doesn't help when people get and go through bad experiences as most people do relationship-wise, making them hesitant or go for someone that they can do better than otherwise.

Don't approach unless she gives you some signs she's interested, otherwise you're setting yourself up for some pain if you really like her.

 

[animal crackers]

Originally posted by tmpgstx

Don't approach unless she gives you some signs she's interested, otherwise you're setting yourself up for some pain if you really like her.

Yea there would be pain. And we don't really want pain. I think that's a bad mindset though, because that goes through my head and I know it's not good.

It really should be, "Hey this one has something, she must feel the same way about me." Not in a blind to the facts kind of way, but in the way that feelings are contageous and the way you feel will definately rub off on her.

It's definately different when you're in the situation though. You really just have to fvck it and go in.

-Whatever happens happens
-Who cares what her or anyone thinks


God....too tense lately...just let it go...let it go...


animal crackers

 

[Criminal Mind]

I hear there's GFTOG.... although that may not be such a good suggestion.

 

[Jariel]

You're saying what's been on my mind for a while too. I've dated a number of women, but it's mostly just physical attraction and I can barely motivate myself to make an effort with them.

I'm even seeing someone now, but I still find myself thinking of another (less sexy and less suitable) girl I actually do have those deeper feelings for. And yeah, I get quite nervous around her (or any girl I have feelings for), which is partly why I end up blowing things.

It's a difficult dilemma. I could probably go out with a HB9.9 supermodel and feel perfectly comfortable chatting and joking around, yet a HB6 who I have feelings for can really put me on edge.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by tmpgstx

Some people never find that special feeling where the other person makes them want to be a better man or woman. The best they can be.

yea that feeling...a couple that tries and does their best thanks to encouragement from the other and simply because they both are on the same page of being attracted to one another.

It's been the longest time i've had that feeling as well. But i think it's more dependent on developing chemistry with the girl initially, while at the same time being able to connect on a greater intellectual level.

I can find all the hb8+ in my school and not have that feeling, but i think if you go through all the crap you'll find one that's worth keeping. If this chick had not chased me, i would not have known she existed and she's a hb6. And i do really adore her and am still going out with her. Believe me there are some great hb6/7's out there who are defiintely keepers, try to avoid judging a book by its covers boys!

Most of the hb 8 + i've found tend to be emotionally unavailable/unstable anyway, so honestly for LTR material theyre not really worth it. just my 2c

 

[heater528]

Ive had that feeling once.... and with all the chicks im dating now. I have not even come close to it.

 

[everywomanshero]

Umm...

Sure, there is girls that I totally click with. Yes, it feels really great. Unfortunately, it is something that you just come across once in a while. To go out searching for it specifically will plague you with problems and depression that will make it, ultimately, much more difficult to find.

The solution is to continue approaching and searching out all venues to find women. To continue having tons of interactions with women. To continue being social. If anyone, I don't care how bad off he is, keeps pushing like this it will pay off.

I was only in Chicago for a single day, and I had tons of successful interactions. Hang out @ the magazine rack in Jewel and talk to Hispanic girls. Yea, in Chicago I can meet girls that way. You're so lucky! In St. Louis that has 10x less chance of working. Less density of population, less different races... take advantage of your wonderful city and show the women a great time. I am positive you will find those feelings as a matter of course.

If you really fear approaching, I think you should watch me the next time I am in Chicago. It is very easy. I do not have any fear at all, because I use methods that feel natural to me. I can do more interactions this way, and it offsets the factor of whether something might be 5% more effective.

 

[flexion_]

I think its important to always realize that the woman doesn't make you happy. Just like a car doesn't make you happy or even a job for that matter.

You make you happy. When you are in that frame of mind things like women, cars and careers all seem pretty good. If you are in a bad state of mind no woman will make you happy. On the converse, when you are in a good state of mind you will expect a lot less from your partner to make you happy.

 

[comote]

You won't find much advice on here about that, reason being is that you are actually looking for what many people here would call "one-itis".

I believe all the skills, all the game in the world don't mean a thing if you can't get the girl that makes you feel something.

I am currently with a girl that makes me feel something so I'll let you know my ways.

0) The more status you have the more you can allow yourself to act like an afc, it's simple. I can be the biggest afc in the world if my girl feels that there will be ten hb9's waiting to jump on me if given the chance.
Bottom line: Have attractive female friends and be the sh!t.

1) Pursue but at the same time have faith that I do actually meet girls that give me that feeling every couple of years so while that may be a while, my game is tight enough that when it comes up I will be ready. This enables you to show interest but she'll always know that if it comes down to it you will walk away, you may not like it but you will.
Bottom line: Go after her, hard, but be prepared to walk away if she don't feel the same way.

2) ****y and funny to the max, I actually go over the top with my ****y. To the point where no one that knows me can even take th ****y side seriously. It's more of a joke than anything else. At the same time, she wonders where the ****y side of me ends. She never stops laughing when she's with me, well she does, let me rephrase that, she never stops laughing or moaning . . .

3) Be nice, Yes be nice, if you have done the previous things than chances are she will be attracted to you, problem with adding the niceness is that she will not even believe it's real. Why is this guy who can have any girl he wants interested in me. Not just interested in me but really interested in me.
It should be easy to be nice to her if you feel a connection to her, in fact when I have felt that something inside of me I had trouble following the dj tenets.

4) Be romantic, be a gentleman, but stand your ground, of course if a woman takes advantage of me the magic is lost and it is easy to stand my ground. A good woman may test you but she will not try and take advantage of you.

Anyways this works with the type of women I like, it may or may not work with the type of women you like.

 

[animal crackers]

LOL that's really funny!

I guess I actually am looking for 'one-itis.'

As far as my action plan I'm thinking that I really just need to meet lots of girls, and hang out with them, and that one-itis is bound to be in one of them. I don't think it's something you can look for, it just happens (as all the girls say )

Thanks for replies guys.



animal crackers

 

[englishman]

Yep, Im old (over 40 , but im still pullin em ;-) ) and I think ive had that feling about 4 times, but just lately ive comr to wonder if its even a good thing, sure it feels good, but then again so does cocaine, sometimes the slow and steady ones are better for you, even though you might not feel the rush? hope that makes sense, ive just got home from the pub....... cheers

 

[smoke city]

Originally posted by comote
You won't find much advice on here about that, reason being is that you are actually looking for what many people here would call "one-itis".

I believe all the skills, all the game in the world don't mean a thing if you can't get the girl that makes you feel something.

I am currently with a girl that makes me feel something so I'll let you know my ways.

0) The more status you have the more you can allow yourself to act like an afc, it's simple. I can be the biggest afc in the world if my girl feels that there will be ten hb9's waiting to jump on me if given the chance.
Bottom line: Have attractive female friends and be the sh!t.

1) Pursue but at the same time have faith that I do actually meet girls that give me that feeling every couple of years so while that may be a while, my game is tight enough that when it comes up I will be ready. This enables you to show interest but she'll always know that if it comes down to it you will walk away, you may not like it but you will.
Bottom line: Go after her, hard, but be prepared to walk away if she don't feel the same way.

[well said, comote. i think points 0 and 1 are principles i have been following lately in my own life. ] Currently I'm involved with a girl who gives me a feeling I haven't had in 10 years (and it's the same for her) -- though I don't know what's going to happen with it, so far it's been worth it for us to pursue despite a pretty complicated situation.

guys -- if you didn't see comote's post the first time, READ IT AGAIN..especially the first half. Everything changes if you are a desirable person in her eyes: if there are no girls interested in you, she will see you coming on strong as an act of loneliness and desperation. on the other hand, if you have 4-5 attractive female 'friends' who are dying for your attention, she will see LOTS of value in you stepping up to be with her.

in fact -- if you really want her, sometimes you HAVE to act this way (a little "afc") because if she actually likes you, her fear of getting hurt will DEFINITELY outweigh her desire to get with you if she thinks you don't feel anything.

 

[Julian]

its the opposite for me. if i see a girl that im really feeling i have no problems approaching because its something i want and im going after it.

however, jsut approaching the average HB is a bit harder for me if i have no interest in her on that type of level that your speaking of.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

Originally posted by Julian
its the opposite for me. if i see a girl that im really feeling i have no problems approaching because its something i want and im going after it.

however, jsut approaching the average HB is a bit harder for me if i have no interest in her on that type of level that your speaking of.

That's not a matter of confidence or nervousness, then; it's a matter of motivation.

 

[spiker]

So true bro!
I've pulled maybe 100 girls this summer on nights out!
no sex just messing about in clubs!

but I'd give up all 100 of those kisses to find one girl that actually made me happy!! At the moment I donno where shes gonna come from! but i guess thats what makes it exciting!

when your least looking for the right girl thats when u'll actually find her!

keep it real and live the dream!!!