My neurotic and psychotic brother, who I had to take care of for the past 6 months, has finally moved out, back to my mother's place.
Now that he's gone I can finally get some time for myself. I've got mixed feelings as I want to do my best to help him and ensure that he comes out of his psychotic rut.
The thing is, he was psychotic when he moved in 6 months ago, and I was unable to cure him. I could occasionally get him out of the house, but his paranoia prevents him from mingling at all, whereas I am a much more socially inclined person. I like to "sarge", go out, drink, and have some laughs, meet some nice girls, learn about people, sometimes grope a titty here or there. He's just too scared to socialise...
Since he moved in I started drinking more, oversleeping when I had to go to school, and just basically neglecting my personal responsibilities. It's a real burden to live with a brother which you have to take care of, who has no social intelligence and no emotional intelligence. I have to instruct him constantly on his emotional issues, etc. I got to cook for him, clean up after him, do everything. I told my japanese buddhist friend he was lucky that I was taking care of him, and he claimed that my brother might be unlucky I was care of him, as I was basically only enabling his lazy lifestyle, which leads to too much free time, thus allowing him to spend too much time focussing on his sorrows, leading to neurosis and subsequently the continuation of his psychosis.
He now claimed towards my mother and her friend he wants to be admitted to a psychological(psychiatric) institute, where he can mingle with people like him: others with psychological issues. I just have mixed feelings about these antipsychotic medications which are so popular in modern day western psychiatry, as their side-effects are quite unpleasant and permanent, and might dull the mind.
I don't know under which circumstances he were to heal naturally. Maybe one of you can offer an idea.
The bright side is that I can now really focus on school, the pressure of which I was unable to really feel, because I was pre-occupied with taking care of my brother. Now that he's gone I feel a great need to invest more time in school and hitting the gym, as I have basically been numbing my pain with alcohol lately.
I also got quite a lot of work done today in cleaning my house. I was so stunted with my brothere here, and unable to do many things. Couldn't bring over girls because I don't want to subject my brother to meeting some crazy BPD chick, lol. He's made my roommate decide to move out as he couldn't handle having a crazy person living with him.
As they say in a dutch proverb, cleaning the house while living wiht my brother is the same as: "mopping with the tap running".
So I was constantly running after him. I let him drive over to my mom's out at 11 pm yesterday, he only got there at 6 AM. He apparently went on a nice relaxing drive for about 7 hours. That's what you get with these people who are psychotic and afraid to leave their house. He has so much pent up energy and frustration. When he finally decided to do something he fully endulged in it. He doesn't know how to do something a little bit at a time, take baby-steps in anything. He just waits until the tension is too much and then just explodes. He waits until he reaches the brink of insanity and then he panics towards me or my mother. So that is why I'm glad that he's gone and can now finally spend time on myself and on my self-improvement again.
So my plans from now on are to frequently hit the gym, start doing some serious kickboxing again, REALLY focus on school, make sure that I pass all my tests from now on, groom myself and keep my house in tip-top shape. Learn to take better care of my finances, so that I can get a nice clothes whenever I want, and become mentally clearer and more enlightened.
Besides that I also want to do a little travelling and horizon-broadening - maybe hitting up some clubs I don't usually frequent, and meet some nice girls once I've made some nice gains in the gym and in kickboxing. Kickboxing is a great way to work on my inner game and good cardio to sweat out all the toxins, and gain strength and aesthetics.
So thank you sosuave once more for providing me with a nice platform to distill my thoughts in a productive way, in an environment of (hopefully) like-minded people.
Now that he's gone I can finally get some time for myself. I've got mixed feelings as I want to do my best to help him and ensure that he comes out of his psychotic rut.
The thing is, he was psychotic when he moved in 6 months ago, and I was unable to cure him. I could occasionally get him out of the house, but his paranoia prevents him from mingling at all, whereas I am a much more socially inclined person. I like to "sarge", go out, drink, and have some laughs, meet some nice girls, learn about people, sometimes grope a titty here or there. He's just too scared to socialise...
Since he moved in I started drinking more, oversleeping when I had to go to school, and just basically neglecting my personal responsibilities. It's a real burden to live with a brother which you have to take care of, who has no social intelligence and no emotional intelligence. I have to instruct him constantly on his emotional issues, etc. I got to cook for him, clean up after him, do everything. I told my japanese buddhist friend he was lucky that I was taking care of him, and he claimed that my brother might be unlucky I was care of him, as I was basically only enabling his lazy lifestyle, which leads to too much free time, thus allowing him to spend too much time focussing on his sorrows, leading to neurosis and subsequently the continuation of his psychosis.
He now claimed towards my mother and her friend he wants to be admitted to a psychological(psychiatric) institute, where he can mingle with people like him: others with psychological issues. I just have mixed feelings about these antipsychotic medications which are so popular in modern day western psychiatry, as their side-effects are quite unpleasant and permanent, and might dull the mind.
I don't know under which circumstances he were to heal naturally. Maybe one of you can offer an idea.
The bright side is that I can now really focus on school, the pressure of which I was unable to really feel, because I was pre-occupied with taking care of my brother. Now that he's gone I feel a great need to invest more time in school and hitting the gym, as I have basically been numbing my pain with alcohol lately.
I also got quite a lot of work done today in cleaning my house. I was so stunted with my brothere here, and unable to do many things. Couldn't bring over girls because I don't want to subject my brother to meeting some crazy BPD chick, lol. He's made my roommate decide to move out as he couldn't handle having a crazy person living with him.
As they say in a dutch proverb, cleaning the house while living wiht my brother is the same as: "mopping with the tap running".
So I was constantly running after him. I let him drive over to my mom's out at 11 pm yesterday, he only got there at 6 AM. He apparently went on a nice relaxing drive for about 7 hours. That's what you get with these people who are psychotic and afraid to leave their house. He has so much pent up energy and frustration. When he finally decided to do something he fully endulged in it. He doesn't know how to do something a little bit at a time, take baby-steps in anything. He just waits until the tension is too much and then just explodes. He waits until he reaches the brink of insanity and then he panics towards me or my mother. So that is why I'm glad that he's gone and can now finally spend time on myself and on my self-improvement again.
So my plans from now on are to frequently hit the gym, start doing some serious kickboxing again, REALLY focus on school, make sure that I pass all my tests from now on, groom myself and keep my house in tip-top shape. Learn to take better care of my finances, so that I can get a nice clothes whenever I want, and become mentally clearer and more enlightened.
Besides that I also want to do a little travelling and horizon-broadening - maybe hitting up some clubs I don't usually frequent, and meet some nice girls once I've made some nice gains in the gym and in kickboxing. Kickboxing is a great way to work on my inner game and good cardio to sweat out all the toxins, and gain strength and aesthetics.
So thank you sosuave once more for providing me with a nice platform to distill my thoughts in a productive way, in an environment of (hopefully) like-minded people.
