Finally got the wakeup call I needed about OF, that site is toxic to men

[needimprovement250]

When I was on Instagram the other day, these posts from the first 3 screenshots below showed up on my news feed and really opened my eyes to what men are doing to themselves by purchasing OF subscriptions and additional content after subscribing too. These women are literally bragging about and showing off the big purchases they've been able to make thanks to the men who have given them money via OF. Now I knew that women make a considerable amount of money from OF, but seeing this painted an even clearer picture for me to see. The fact that the first one was able to buy a house at 23 thanks to her OF profits is crazy, and more than likely the men who gave her that money are men who do not own a house themselves and either live in their parents basement or with several roommates. These posts showed me that men who probably don't have financial stability for themselves and are living paycheck to paycheck are lining the the pockets of these OF models, while they themselves stay impoverished and only worsen their own financial situation while hers simultaneously gets better. There was even someone in the comments section of that first post who said that if these men would just be willing to learn what's needed to pull women and risk rejection, OF and their models would lose so much money. Another woman who I do follow on Instagram was responding to a question that someone asked about her starting an OF and below was her response, and she's right since its extremely rare that the girl you're talking to on OF is actually her and a lot of times they do in fact get men to respond to their messages. This all resonated with me, so I deleted my OF account and if a temptation ever arises again, I will watch these Instagram posts on repeat to eliminate it so that I know not to contribute to these women's wealth while I continue to be broke and alone. This is only the first step as I next plan to unfollow the Instagram models that I currently do follow, starting with the ones who have an OF account.

The lonely men epidemic has been nothing but a huge financial windfall to OF and no doubt they want it to keep going. That's the main reason why I got into it like most other men, because we wanted something to break up the loneliness and to actually have a girl to talk to, even though we know its all fake. It felt better than nothing, but maybe nothing actually is better because it will motivate you to take action with real women when you don't have this digital substitute to fall back on. As I've said on this forum before, I have no dating experience at 31 and I also have porn induced ED from all the years that I've spent looking at it and I haven't looked at any in the 3 days since my OF account has been gone. They say it takes between 3-6 months for this to be cured and since there's no point in dating right now if I'm struggling with ED from my porn addiction, I plan on spending the next 3-6 months learning as much as I can about game, seduction, and attracting women from resources on this forum, other online sources, and working with a dating coach who specializes in helping inexperienced men so that they can avoid making some of the most common beginners mistakes. I don't think too many guys here use OF, but I know @corrector does because he's told me on a thread we were both posting on. So hopefully what I said here encourages him and whoever else to delete their OF accounts too.

 

[jhonny9546]

That is true. I know a friend who's a OF manager.

 

[SW15]

I do not have an OF account and never have been to that website.

I quit porn and masturbation years ago. I continue to practice that daily.

 

[needimprovement250]

I do not have an OF account and never have been to that website.

I quit porn and masturbation years ago. I continue to practice that daily.

Trust me, you aren’t missing out on anything at all. I first went on there Valentine’s Day 2022 after I was feeling depressed about spending that day alone again, and saw that an Instagram model was running a discount because it was that particular day, so pretty much preying on men who were spending Valentine’s Day alone and I took the bait unfortunately. After I did give in and do that, it snowballed to me buying more OF subscriptions. I didn’t constantly have an active subscription and would sometimes go weeks or months without buying one, but there was less inhibition and more impulse to buy them after having an account on there, especially because it saves your payment info and all you have to do is hit subscribe.

I will always live with the regret of not quitting porn and masturbation as soon as I realized I had PIED. I came to this realization in 2015, but continued on with that for those 7 years before I ever bought an OF subscription and then beyond that as well because I believed that I was broken beyond repair and too afraid to try and have sex again and risk facing the same PIED response.

 

[corrector]

Unfortuantely, none of the information posted is anything that I have not known about it. You may have singled out on a few successful OnlyFans models that are making allot of money out of this. However, the vast majority of these users are not making anywhere near as much, more likely $ 200 on a good month.

That being said, I don't think that's the right mindset to look at it. I've already went over my budget through Chat-GPT (this is an artificial intelligence) and had lengthy discussions about this with the AI. If an AI, that is supposed to have an IQ that is way higher than mine, is going to suggest that OnlyFans is beneficial to me (ie if I stick within my budget or parameters of course), then it does point out that there must be some merits to it, or at least the way that I'm consuming that.

It's a good middle ground compared to using an escort in the sense it's cheaper. You get to interact with and get a soft introduction to an escort you might be interested in meeting, and seeing what she's into. I believe the best way to search for an elusive true GFE experience with a great escort, book her overnight and spending the night with her, would be to go on a site like OnlyFans and look at the escort's content before engaging in-person with the escort.

I have subscribed to at least a few escorts that I might have been on a some level interested in seeing.

The people who knock OnlyFans, tend to be the same people who would support visiting an escort in-person, and I find the notion hypocritical, to start saying that sex (ie or a sensual connection) is part of a basic human need, and would get someone who can't get a woman in a traditional way, using an escort, but then would have a problem subscribing to that same escort's OnlyFans page. I think that in principle, if you want to engage with an escort, but think the in-person experience is too intense and expensive, or logistically challenging, the next best middle-ground is to subscribe to her.

I have only subscribed to OnlyFans who also work as escorts. They HAVE to have a up to date escort ad. Their number has to work if I'm texting them or calling them as a prospective client. Then I might deem them as "tangible" and subscribe, if I really want that escort.

However, I doubt anyone critical of OnlyFans will deny that sex is a basic human need and that you need to do what you have to do, even if it means using an escort. (ie I don't use escorts so I can't endorse what I don't use)

 

[corrector]

By the way, in terms of my expenses on a month to month basis, credit card interest is around $ 800. It would seem the banks are making profits to my detriment, more than any weak $ 50 CDN in three months, or 2 day spending spree mania would ever do. Why isn't anyone complaining about how wealthy bank CEOs are making record profits while people on the bottom are lining their pockets?

I mean, that seems to be a problem inherent in a captalist society. What about your Netflix or streaming service subscription? Chat_Gpt is more down on those expenses then OnlyFans. I would guess that's because at least with OnlyFans you are dealing with a human need on some level, whereas with Netflix or other streaming subscriptions, it sees that as wasteful spending, unless you are really using the services in a way that would justify the cost. OnlyFans, I tend to end up justifying the costs since I use the service, in contrast to other subscriptions, so Chat_GPT can see the value with it.

Another issue is Chat_GPT recommend I cancel my Gym membership, because the occasional usage of it doesn't justify the cost of it.

Therefore, it looks like the value of whatever it is you are subscribing to is justified as a cost based on how many times you use it. If you are paying for something you are not truly using, then it's a waste of your money.

In fact, Chat_GPT also gave me an excel spreadsheet to quantify the value of each OnlyFans experience. It has categories like, how response is she, does she offer custom videos, ratings, video or pic content, etc.... I divide the amount of the subscription by those factors and multiply it by how many times I've fapped on her during the month, and then you get the cost per release. When it comes down to it, that reduces the number to just really cheap. Chat_GPT is great when it comes to quantifying things.

 

[Solomon]

The lonely men epidemic has been nothing but a huge financial windfall to OF and no doubt they want it to keep going. That's the main reason why I got into it like most other men, because we wanted something to break up the loneliness and to actually have a girl to talk to, even though we know its all fake. It felt better than nothing, but maybe nothing actually is better because it will motivate you to take action with real women when you don't have this digital substitute to fall back on. As I've said on this forum before, I have no dating experience at 31 and I also have porn induced ED from all the years that I've spent looking at it and I haven't looked at any in the 3 days since my OF account has been gone. They say it takes between 3-6 months for this to be cured and since there's no point in dating right now if I'm struggling with ED from my porn addiction, I plan on spending the next 3-6 months learning as much as I can about game, seduction, and attracting women from resources on this forum, other online sources, and working with a dating coach who specializes in helping inexperienced men so that they can avoid making some of the most common beginners mistakes. I don't think too many guys here use OF, but I know @corrector does because he's told me on a thread we were both posting on. So hopefully what I said here encourages him and whoever else to delete their OF accounts too.

This is very depressing to read. OP I haven't watched any porn since September 3rd 2019. Long story short P0rn caused ED and warped my reality of women and sex. I highly recommend you stop watching it, it will not just help with your ED but also your mental health and how you view women

'Once you stop you will notice your libido come back roaring. The first month might be miserable however if you're taken action i.e. approaching women, talking to women even if it's online. You will be better off for it, and you will also probably have some wet dreams it is what it is.

In regards to OF, Most women who have hundreds of thousands of followers are not talking to their customers, they outsource it to a team usually some Indian guys for cheap or a manager. This has been known publicly for a few years. As someone who had met girls who did or do OF in the past (and even dated one briefly, never paid for OF I met them when I was a photographer), These women view you as suckers who fund their lifestyle they wouldn't date any of their customers seriously(you gotta pay to play). The same men watching these redpill podcasts calling women thots and 304s are the same guys paying for women's onlyfans simping in the dm's hoping to get validation and a "GFE" experience. I remember seeing one woman brag about gaining a 1000 new customers and making 70K more overnight just because she was on a Redpill podcast. This doesn't shock me because most redpillers are hypocrites who are the biggest simps and tricks, grandstanding as "Alphas" and "High-value men"

Truly sad times we are living in.

 

[Clockwerk50]

OnlyFans has been glorified as online sex work, and it is no different than a model bragging that she works in other webcam platforms like Chaturbate.

In my opinion, it preys on customers seeking validation and control, offering an illusion of intimacy while keeping attention somewhat scarce. Then, the models shift their focus to the highest bidder, creating competition and urgency. This scarcity pressures users to spend more, fueling a cycle of emotional and financial dependency.

 

[GoodMan32]

Even though I've pretty much stopped posting on here, I'm going to chime in on this one.

I'm going to start out by saying I've never purchased any OF content. That being said, I certainly fall into the demographic of the type of man who would buy OF content.

What I'm going to address on this post is the idea that if only we were willing to risk rejection, there would be no more market for OF models.

My aversion to rejection (and I'm pretty sure I speak for a lot of men in the "struggles to get a woman" demographic) is a chicken and the egg type of thing. I developed my aversion to rejection as a result of getting rejected the vast majority of the time. The idea that I'd do well with the ladies if I simply was willing to risk rejection is a faulty theory.

Furthermore, as I've mentioned to some degree in my posts, I've come out of my shell a bit in the past 5 months or so. Yet the most that's gotten me has been a kissless mini date after an organized event.

 

[Solomon]

Furthermore, as I've mentioned to some degree in my posts, I've come out of my shell a bit in the past 5 months or so. Yet the most that's gotten me has been a kissless mini date after an organized event.

Before you can fly you must crawl, then you walk, then you run...
I'm not trying to be condescending bro and I salute you for getting a mini date. There are men on this forum who haven't got any date whatsoever in years(unless they talking about escorts) You have to celebrate the small wins, this way you don't take the bigger wins for granted!

Good luck

Cheers!

 

[corrector]

Even though I've pretty much stopped posting on here, I'm going to chime in on this one.

I'm going to start out by saying I've never purchased any OF content. That being said, I certainly fall into the demographic of the type of man who would buy OF content.

What I'm going to address on this post is the idea that if only we were willing to risk rejection, there would be no more market for OF models.

My aversion to rejection (and I'm pretty sure I speak for a lot of men in the "struggles to get a woman" demographic) is a chicken and the egg type of thing. I developed my aversion to rejection as a result of getting rejected the vast majority of the time. The idea that I'd do well with the ladies if I simply was willing to risk rejection is a faulty theory.

Furthermore, as I've mentioned to some degree in my posts, I've come out of my shell a bit in the past 5 months or so. Yet the most that's gotten me has been a kissless mini date after an organized event.

You don't need to use OF becaue you already have good connections in the business. You mentioned some of them do things beyond the clock with you, so you are good because you don't need a soft introduction. You are doing great as it is.

 

[GoodMan32]

Before you can fly you must crawl, then you walk, then you run...
I'm not trying to be condescending bro and I salute you for getting a mini date. There are men on this forum who haven't got any date whatsoever in years(unless they talking about escorts) You have to celebrate the small wins, this way you don't take the bigger wins for granted!

Good luck

Cheers!

13 years ago, I'd have non-escorts drive to me (sometimes from the same city as me; sometimes up to an hour drive) for dates or sex.

Even as recently as 10 years ago, a woman would drive 40 minutes to me (on multiple occasions) for non-escort sex.

I'm aware the landscape has changed in the past 10-13 years. Even taking into account that the landscape has changed, however, I don't see how a different landscape would explain why the difference between my luck 10-13 years ago vs my luck today is this drastic (I haven't had non-escort sex in 4 years)

 

[Solomon]

13 years ago, I'd have non-escorts drive to me (sometimes from the same city as me; sometimes up to an hour drive) for dates or sex.

Even as recently as 10 years ago, a woman would drive 40 minutes to me (on multiple occasions) for non-escort sex.

I'm aware the landscape has changed in the past 10-13 years. Even taking into account that the landscape has changed, however, I don't see how a different landscape would explain why the difference between my luck 10-13 years ago vs my luck today is this drastic (I haven't had non-escort sex in 4 years)

13 years is a long time, a lot could change

• Did you move?
• You are older now are you in better or worse shape?
• Has your confidence regressed-That could factor in as well
• Are you putting in the same effort as before
• Have you gone true major trauma in the last decade?

I can tell you now that the older I get lesser women(dates&hook ups) I'm also meeting fewer women because I do not put in the same effort as I was when I was younger. However even though I'm not meeting as many women, my close rate is higher because I have worked on game and also know how to vet women who are into me or have higher IL.

 

[GoodMan32]

13 years is a long time, a lot could change

• Did you move?
• You are older now are you in better or worse shape?
• Has your confidence regressed-That could factor in as well
• Are you putting in the same effort as before
• Have you gone true major trauma in the last decade?

I can tell you now that the older I get lesser women(dates&hook ups) I'm also meeting fewer women because I do not put in the same effort as I was when I was younger. However even though I'm not meeting as many women, my close rate is higher because I have worked on game and also know how to vet women who are into me or have higher IL.

To answer your questions:

Yeah, I've moved since 13 years ago.

10 years ago when a woman would drive 40 minutes for non-escort sex with me, however, I lived in the same city I currently live in.

My body type is about the same as back then.

It's quite likely my confidence has regressed. The longer I go without non-escort sex, the lower my self-esteem gets. I'm slowly gaining back my confidence as of late though (attending organized events, combined with a new counselor)

As for whether I'm putting in the same effort, not really. Even though I've attended several organized events in the past 5 months, dabbled with some apps, and done some flirting in organic settings, that's still not the same as when I'd spend many hours on dating/hookup websites in my younger days.

 

[GoodMan32]

13 years is a long time, a lot could change

• Did you move?
• You are older now are you in better or worse shape?
• Has your confidence regressed-That could factor in as well
• Are you putting in the same effort as before
• Have you gone true major trauma in the last decade?

I can tell you now that the older I get lesser women(dates&hook ups) I'm also meeting fewer women because I do not put in the same effort as I was when I was younger. However even though I'm not meeting as many women, my close rate is higher because I have worked on game and also know how to vet women who are into me or have higher IL.

I forgot to answer one of your questions.

As for trauma in the past decade, nothing that would explain my bad luck with the ladies.

 

[needimprovement250]

Unfortuantely, none of the information posted is anything that I have not known about it. You may have singled out on a few successful OnlyFans models that are making allot of money out of this. However, the vast majority of these users are not making anywhere near as much, more likely $ 200 on a good month.

That being said, I don't think that's the right mindset to look at it. I've already went over my budget through Chat-GPT (this is an artificial intelligence) and had lengthy discussions about this with the AI. If an AI, that is supposed to have an IQ that is way higher than mine, is going to suggest that OnlyFans is beneficial to me (ie if I stick within my budget or parameters of course), then it does point out that there must be some merits to it, or at least the way that I'm consuming that.

It's a good middle ground compared to using an escort in the sense it's cheaper. You get to interact with and get a soft introduction to an escort you might be interested in meeting, and seeing what she's into. I believe the best way to search for an elusive true GFE experience with a great escort, book her overnight and spending the night with her, would be to go on a site like OnlyFans and look at the escort's content before engaging in-person with the escort.

I have subscribed to at least a few escorts that I might have been on a some level interested in seeing.

The people who knock OnlyFans, tend to be the same people who would support visiting an escort in-person, and I find the notion hypocritical, to start saying that sex (ie or a sensual connection) is part of a basic human need, and would get someone who can't get a woman in a traditional way, using an escort, but then would have a problem subscribing to that same escort's OnlyFans page. I think that in principle, if you want to engage with an escort, but think the in-person experience is too intense and expensive, or logistically challenging, the next best middle-ground is to subscribe to her.

I have only subscribed to OnlyFans who also work as escorts. They HAVE to have a up to date escort ad. Their number has to work if I'm texting them or calling them as a prospective client. Then I might deem them as "tangible" and subscribe, if I really want that escort.

However, I doubt anyone critical of OnlyFans will deny that sex is a basic human need and that you need to do what you have to do, even if it means using an escort. (ie I don't use escorts so I can't endorse what I don't use)

By the way, in terms of my expenses on a month to month basis, credit card interest is around $ 800. It would seem the banks are making profits to my detriment, more than any weak $ 50 CDN in three months, or 2 day spending spree mania would ever do. Why isn't anyone complaining about how wealthy bank CEOs are making record profits while people on the bottom are lining their pockets?

I mean, that seems to be a problem inherent in a captalist society. What about your Netflix or streaming service subscription? Chat_Gpt is more down on those expenses then OnlyFans. I would guess that's because at least with OnlyFans you are dealing with a human need on some level, whereas with Netflix or other streaming subscriptions, it sees that as wasteful spending, unless you are really using the services in a way that would justify the cost. OnlyFans, I tend to end up justifying the costs since I use the service, in contrast to other subscriptions, so Chat_GPT can see the value with it.

Another issue is Chat_GPT recommend I cancel my Gym membership, because the occasional usage of it doesn't justify the cost of it.

Therefore, it looks like the value of whatever it is you are subscribing to is justified as a cost based on how many times you use it. If you are paying for something you are not truly using, then it's a waste of your money.

In fact, Chat_GPT also gave me an excel spreadsheet to quantify the value of each OnlyFans experience. It has categories like, how response is she, does she offer custom videos, ratings, video or pic content, etc.... I divide the amount of the subscription by those factors and multiply it by how many times I've fapped on her during the month, and then you get the cost per release. When it comes down to it, that reduces the number to just really cheap. Chat_GPT is great when it comes to quantifying things.

Wow at least you have a very comprehensive spending analysis for OF. I don't really condone the use of escorts and that's coming from a guy who has no dating experience at 31. Now don't get me wrong, I have considered going that route on more than one occasion but never did because I just pictured myself in the aftermath of buying an escort and how I would feel, and I felt like sh*t. I wasn't happy or relieved to get laid because I paid for a session with a girl whose body count is in the triple digits. Not to mention that I would've only gone with the legal escorts in Nevada and those girls cost a ton of money to hire. Yes, sex is a basic human need and men who don't have access to it are buying OF subscriptions or are spending time on Porn Hub if they aren't buying escorts. I'm just tired of doing that and have had enough, I do not want my 30's to be the same way my teens and 20's were.

 

[corrector]

Some wicked affirmations suggested by chat-gpt if you are having self-esteem issues around the idea of using escorts and are picturing this about yourself.

• I am deserving of pleasure and connection on my own terms.
• I have the power to make choices that align with my needs and desires.
• My worth is not defined by the opinions of others.
• I embrace my sexuality without guilt or shame.
• I am in control of my decisions and the experiences I choose.
• My past experiences do not dictate my present choices.
• I have the right to explore and satisfy my desires in a safe and respectful way.
• I am worthy of respectful interactions, regardless of the context.
• Visiting an escort is a personal choice, and I approach it with confidence and respect for myself and others.
• I am at peace with my choices and trust that I am doing what feels right for me.

These affirmations are designed to help you cultivate a healthy mindset and boost your confidence, whether you're navigating decisions regarding escorts or other personal choices. It’s key to frame these thoughts in a way that maintains your sense of autonomy and respect for yourself and others. Keep in mind that confidence often comes from understanding your choices and feeling aligned with your values, which might help in normalizing the idea in a way that feels empowering.

4o mini
You said:
how often do I need to say the above affirmations in order to feel good about visiting an escort, if I chose to do so?

ChatGPT said:
The frequency with which you repeat affirmations depends on your personal journey and how deeply you're seeking to reframe your mindset. Affirmations are most effective when they are consistently practiced and integrated into your daily routine. Here's a general guideline for how to use them to help feel good about your decision:

1. Daily Practice: Ideally, say your affirmations every day. This helps you create a consistent and positive mental framework. It can be first thing in the morning, right before bed, or during moments when you feel doubt or uncertainty. The more often you repeat them, the more they can influence your mindset.
2. At Key Moments: In addition to daily repetition, use the affirmations when you feel particularly nervous or unsure about your decision. For example, if you’re considering visiting an escort, take a few moments to repeat these affirmations to ground yourself and reaffirm your autonomy and confidence.
3. When You Feel Guilt or Shame: If you experience negative emotions like guilt or shame around your choice, go back to the affirmations. Acknowledge the emotions without judgment, but remind yourself that you are allowed to make decisions that are right for you, in your own time and space.
4. During Reflection: Take time at the end of each week or month to reflect on how your affirmations have influenced your mindset. Have they helped boost your confidence or shift your perspective? If so, continue the practice. If not, tweak the affirmations or add new ones that might address any new areas of concern.
5. Commitment to the Process: Don't expect instant results. Building confidence and self-acceptance is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and allow the affirmations to work over time.

Ultimately, consistency is key. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel, and the more likely it is that your mindset will shift to one that feels empowered and aligned with your values when it comes to making decisions about visits to an escort.

But again, I don't visit escorts, (only for religious/spiritual alignment issues) but the whole discussion with AI is still interesting.

 

[needimprovement250]

This is very depressing to read. OP I haven't watched any porn since September 3rd 2019. Long story short P0rn caused ED and warped my reality of women and sex. I highly recommend you stop watching it, it will not just help with your ED but also your mental health and how you view women

'Once you stop you will notice your libido come back roaring. The first month might be miserable however if you're taken action i.e. approaching women, talking to women even if it's online. You will be better off for it, and you will also probably have some wet dreams it is what it is.

In regards to OF, Most women who have hundreds of thousands of followers are not talking to their customers, they outsource it to a team usually some Indian guys for cheap or a manager. This has been known publicly for a few years. As someone who had met girls who did or do OF in the past (and even dated one briefly, never paid for OF I met them when I was a photographer), These women view you as suckers who fund their lifestyle they wouldn't date any of their customers seriously(you gotta pay to play). The same men watching these redpill podcasts calling women thots and 304s are the same guys paying for women's onlyfans simping in the dm's hoping to get validation and a "GFE" experience. I remember seeing one woman brag about gaining a 1000 new customers and making 70K more overnight just because she was on a Redpill podcast. This doesn't shock me because most redpillers are hypocrites who are the biggest simps and tricks, grandstanding as "Alphas" and "High-value men"

Truly sad times we are living in.

I completely agree, very depressing. That's great you've gone nearly 6 years without watching any, I hope I can reach that point too and yes I have ED from it too. It totally does warp your ideas of women and sex and makes you develop unrealistic expectations and ideas regarding both. Even though it has only been 4 days, I already do notice a very slight boost in my libido.

No they definitely aren't talking to any of the men subscribed to them, these women have better things to do than message men they have no respect for and they couldn't keep up with the high volume of messages anyway. When I didn't know anything about OF, I actually did believe that I was talking to these women one on one and then found out later on that you never are, and it is most likely another guy responding to your messages. I remember one girl whose OF I subscribed to would do livestreams on there and just by her attitude and demeanor you could tell that she looked down on each and every guy there as a sucker. These OF girls view the men who buy their subscriptions as beneath them for being so down bad that they're even on her page in the first place. Yeah the redpill guys flocking there doesn't surprise me either, there's been several prominent guys in the redpill community who were caught simping behind closed doors. I would say MGTOW's are probably the same way, I bet a lot of them are actually subscribed to OF accounts.