Figuring IL is a killa...

mag333

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Lemme give some background... The two key points are that; (A) I am 19 and this girl is 16 so there is a possible maturity difference that I am aware of (I am also aware of the legal issues and I am perfectly happy to keep things just this side of legal) and (B) I am a friend of this gal's family so if something goes down it has to be quick and clean... I am certain they will accept the idea of something between us if we're both into it enough.

Little more background... I have known this girl for 4 years and only recently developed interest. I met the family by being friends with her sister (that has kinda tappered off but we are still friends)...

I was a bit worried that I would be automatically friend-zoned because of the long time I have known her but I said "f*ck-it" and decided at a bare minimum it was good DJ practice.

This is were you smart folks come in. After almost 8 weeks of intense DJing (with the lack of an immediate sexual goal) I am lost as to whether I am in the friend zone or where her IL stands.
I get hints all the time, but can't seem to add them up to anything substantial.

IL hints I have noticed-
-She said that she reserves the time I have off from work to spend with me and this seems to be true.

-We like VERY different music, but she picked out a couple artists I like and now "she LOVE'S" them.

-We we're going for a sunday night drive and it came up how similar views we had on social issues... This led into more discussion and we actually ended up arguing about a couple issues and I said (without any meanness at all) "I guess our views arn't as similar as I thought..." She grew silent and after a few minutes I noticed she was crying... I asked what was wrong and she murmered something about what I had just said. I did my best to consol her but not give in and in a few minutes she was better. I thought this was significant somehow because in the four years I have known her I have seen her really cry maybe 2 times.

-She is often a royal B*TCH to everyone but me.

-KINO: This one really throws me off. Often Kino seems GREAT. SHe's always standing close enough to brush skin to skin. She sits close enough for me to put my arm around her even when she doesn't have to. And it seems that whenever she is able she is asking me to feel some wound... a cut on her thigh, a knuckle she thought was hurt etc. I make sure to return KINO on this level all the time but I get a nagging vibe that it would be bad to kick the kino up to an overt and level with more romantic implications... (If I do I guess the test for IL is that if there is enough interest she will continue to give me the oppurtunity to do kino right?)

-This is a weird one but stay with me... She has enthuisastically agreed to make the 350 mile trip to my college and stay with my friends and I for a few days (two times!!) Don't even ask how I got parental permission if I could DJ the woman like the mothers...

^---Above also ties into talking about future plans...

-Constantly, when I am going somewhere or doing something she wants to go/do it too. I worry that this could just be the boredom of a gold-digger in training or an attention grabber...

Well boy's and escpecially gals, where do you think I stand... If this evidence isn't enough, are there 1 or 2 tests that would get me my answer without causing a major hupla with the family?

Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance...

-mag
 
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bugsquish

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8 weeks?? 16 is legal here, is it legal there? She is young and you're an older man so that's gonna come with implications. Sounds like she idolises you, I would say she's yours. But she's gonna get obsessed. Especially if she's a virgin (which she probably is by the sound of it).

I get a nagging vibe that it would be bad to kick the kino up to an overt and level with more romantic implications...
But that's what you're gonna have to do. Test her reaction. I reckon you're good to go but remember she's gonna "fall in love" cuz 16 year olds do that. Just try not to break her heart.

As a side note when I was 18 I met a girl who was 16 and a relationship like I describe above (with elements of your story) ensued. She was obsessed. We did last 4 years though I broke her heart. And in the end she broke mine...
 

chlywly

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Originally posted by bugsquish
8 weeks?? 16 is legal here, is it legal there? She is young and you're an older man so that's gonna come with implications. Sounds like she idolises you, I would say she's yours. But she's gonna get obsessed. Especially if she's a virgin (which she probably is by the sound of it).


But that's what you're gonna have to do. Test her reaction. I reckon you're good to go but remember she's gonna "fall in love" cuz 16 year olds do that. Just try not to break her heart.

As a side note when I was 18 I met a girl who was 16 and a relationship like I describe above (with elements of your story) ensued. She was obsessed. We did last 4 years though I broke her heart. And in the end she broke mine...
Ahh I know that story :)
 

mag333

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oh yeah

just remembered another *sign* while laying in bed last night... It could just be coincidence, but I can recall atleast 2 things she has done to her appearence (longer hair, stop dyeing her hair) that I had offhandly suggested at some point...


between what y'all said and that, I guess you are right on all counts... I can deal with the obsessed thing... :) I am glad you mentioned your similar situation that lasted 4 years... likely after that long it is luck of the draw etc and age has little to do with it...


the legal issue: I THINK they just changed the law here to 18 (I don't think THAT will last long ...but doesn't bother me too much... the law only prohibits the major stuff which I would hold off on anyway...

thanks for the boost
-mag
 
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