LuckyStrike88
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2014
- Messages
- 198
- Reaction score
- 24
OK guys I've been single since oktober, got shot down by a girl that broke up with me. I considered her by far the hottest girl I've ever had a relationship with and her breaking up with me hit like a truck.
When it was over i pulled back and tried to figure out what happened, i had found out it had to do with some inner game issues that i'd been having since childhood and luckily on this forum someone recommended me a book that specifically addressed these issues. I was basically shocked about what i read because it was all about me, it really opened my eyes and i am changed since then.
After that i figured why not try to get this girl back, i sent her messages and wrote a letter but it was too late. I do understand she cannot change her image of me just like that and i stopped contacting her because she blocked me on everything. I go the distance for what i want but i don't want to be a stalker. So i gave up and let her live her life.
I guess it still hurts somewhere knowing what i know now and wondering how things would have turned out otherwise. I know it is a bad thing to think like that, there are other women out there. And no girl is perfect even though in my mind she had been for some time. It has taken me some time to let this go but i have moved on and dating other girls. Though i keep comparing and none of them measure up.
Friends have told me to contact and try to see her in person so she can see the change with her own eyes. But i decided give her up, as bad as i would want to fix things the last thing i want is to be a stalker because that i how i feel when i think about contacting her again, so i won't.
So to the point, the last day i saw her she was feeling bad. Initially the plan was for me to sleep over at her place but she had her doubt because she was feeling bad and very edgy. She told me she thought it was best for me to leave because she did not want us to get into a fight about it.
My response was that i wouldn't get mad at her for blowing out at me because i know she was feeling bad and that i would not blame her for it. She had a hard time eating anything so took a drive alone to a store not close by to get her her favorite food. She was very thankful that she could finally eat something. After that she told me it was better for me to go home and that we would meet up when she was feeling better. A few days past and we tried to meet but things went south so we canceled two times.
After that there was a day of silence, the morning after that day she wrote me a message not being able to be up for a relationship at the moment. After that message there were some short answers from her side before it she stopped responding all together.
I've been trying to figure this situation out, fix things without result. I eventually gave up on her but want to know what i did wrong for my own learning. And what i thought of today was the last day i saw her...
She was feeling bad and giving me **** about small things, everything i did was bad. And i did not give her anything back, i let her just act like that to me with the excuse of her feeling bad and thus not having the right to blame her. And even telling her i would not get into a fight with her. But i took her **** and it made me feel bad.. I stayed sweet with her putting myself aside for her.
What i think is that i should not have accepted her behavior and stand up for myself, told her that the way she was treating me was bull****. And then decide to leave instead of having her tell me to leave. Instead of acting overly sweet and justifying her behavior for feeling bad.
Now i think it is a test of strength, a girl does something to you that makes you feel bad. The weak thing is to justify it and let her get away with it because you like her so much and don't what to lose her. And the right thing to do is to stand up to her and put her in her place, showing you do not tolerate disrespect. And thus sub-communicating that you are the one with the upper hand.
Standing up to girls like that especially one i considered very special used to be too hard for me. What i didn't realize is that not standing up to their bad behavior in fear of losing them. Actually makes you lose them!
I would like your opinions on this specific thing, other fill-ins on this topic or me are welcome as well. I think that telling her directly/specifically that i would not fight with her and thus taking all her **** no matter what, made her doubt the relationship, sent me away, and end it all together a few days later.
When it was over i pulled back and tried to figure out what happened, i had found out it had to do with some inner game issues that i'd been having since childhood and luckily on this forum someone recommended me a book that specifically addressed these issues. I was basically shocked about what i read because it was all about me, it really opened my eyes and i am changed since then.
After that i figured why not try to get this girl back, i sent her messages and wrote a letter but it was too late. I do understand she cannot change her image of me just like that and i stopped contacting her because she blocked me on everything. I go the distance for what i want but i don't want to be a stalker. So i gave up and let her live her life.
I guess it still hurts somewhere knowing what i know now and wondering how things would have turned out otherwise. I know it is a bad thing to think like that, there are other women out there. And no girl is perfect even though in my mind she had been for some time. It has taken me some time to let this go but i have moved on and dating other girls. Though i keep comparing and none of them measure up.
Friends have told me to contact and try to see her in person so she can see the change with her own eyes. But i decided give her up, as bad as i would want to fix things the last thing i want is to be a stalker because that i how i feel when i think about contacting her again, so i won't.
So to the point, the last day i saw her she was feeling bad. Initially the plan was for me to sleep over at her place but she had her doubt because she was feeling bad and very edgy. She told me she thought it was best for me to leave because she did not want us to get into a fight about it.
My response was that i wouldn't get mad at her for blowing out at me because i know she was feeling bad and that i would not blame her for it. She had a hard time eating anything so took a drive alone to a store not close by to get her her favorite food. She was very thankful that she could finally eat something. After that she told me it was better for me to go home and that we would meet up when she was feeling better. A few days past and we tried to meet but things went south so we canceled two times.
After that there was a day of silence, the morning after that day she wrote me a message not being able to be up for a relationship at the moment. After that message there were some short answers from her side before it she stopped responding all together.
I've been trying to figure this situation out, fix things without result. I eventually gave up on her but want to know what i did wrong for my own learning. And what i thought of today was the last day i saw her...
She was feeling bad and giving me **** about small things, everything i did was bad. And i did not give her anything back, i let her just act like that to me with the excuse of her feeling bad and thus not having the right to blame her. And even telling her i would not get into a fight with her. But i took her **** and it made me feel bad.. I stayed sweet with her putting myself aside for her.
What i think is that i should not have accepted her behavior and stand up for myself, told her that the way she was treating me was bull****. And then decide to leave instead of having her tell me to leave. Instead of acting overly sweet and justifying her behavior for feeling bad.
Now i think it is a test of strength, a girl does something to you that makes you feel bad. The weak thing is to justify it and let her get away with it because you like her so much and don't what to lose her. And the right thing to do is to stand up to her and put her in her place, showing you do not tolerate disrespect. And thus sub-communicating that you are the one with the upper hand.
Standing up to girls like that especially one i considered very special used to be too hard for me. What i didn't realize is that not standing up to their bad behavior in fear of losing them. Actually makes you lose them!
I would like your opinions on this specific thing, other fill-ins on this topic or me are welcome as well. I think that telling her directly/specifically that i would not fight with her and thus taking all her **** no matter what, made her doubt the relationship, sent me away, and end it all together a few days later.