Fighting the defeatist mindset ( how to permantly recover a broken man)

[Gamisch]

Lately you can see more and more posts where it's clear more men than ever are completely broken.

Being a man was never easy. And now we live in a era where nobody DGAF whether you are dead or alive.

In my country the government has special programs for people who are out of work for a long time. Alittle step up before getting back to the real thing and increase the chance to succeed. We desperately need a thread where we share long term plans for men who need to get back in the game.

What are some golden tips you guys have? Someone has a real life example of a dude who went from incel to slayer?

@Modern Man Advice , @Jesse Pinkman and I forget a whole bunch of posters who I know will have some great advice .

 

[member160292]

TRP is great and all, but the further you go down that path where everything revolves around it will make you broken. Might as well adopt a couple of kids and be a single dad.

 

[Zimbabwe]

It's really hard not to be bitter and angry with the situation we have around us in the modern world, men are screwed over and treated like second class citezins in the west.

Dating keeps getting harder because women get more and more fat while their standards keep going up.

I don’t blame any man for being angry at how fückrd up the world has gotten. We need real practical solutions to solve this.

 

[member160292]

Maturity is knowing the world is fvcked up and making it a better place

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Honestly, you just freaking do it. It is that simple, you freaking do it. I know that the answer sounds very tongue and cheek but the truth is, some men who go from Incel to Slayer have this Get Sh-t Done mindset. It changes everything and you stop wasting so much time. You stop browsing the forums as much, you approach more girls, and anyone who is not supporting your end destination kind of goes by the wayside so you cut a lot of people out of your life. I wish I could give a motivational post on this but there is no such thing. You go out, do, fail many times, keep trying, adjust what needs to be fixed, keep going out, and then keep going at it.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

From my own personal experience, a life lived indulged in modern distractions, along with committing to a toxic LTR of 7 years left me looking myself in the mirror and unable to recognize who that person was. A huge sense of shame, confusion, anger, depression, and isolation took over my brain and my heart.

And so for me, only finding purpose and a calling helped me crawl out of the rabbit hole I had gone in. They were slow and painful crawls but the suffering was much needed to shape my internal frame.

I have discussed this in the past, but society has made significant efforts to ridicule masculinity and bamboozle boys and men into living insignificant and robotic lives. The number of distractions, hurdles, shame, etc, etc slowly have made men walking living dead. And then society (modern feminists) ridicules them for it. Boys never transition from boyhood to manhood, that rite of passage that existed in ancient and not so long ago times is slowly fading and going extinct. So we have males that think that having a penis and hair on their balls makes them a man. It is never one-sided, men should be held accountable for their own lives. I don't believe in playing victims. Finally, we see a gigantic breakdown between the two genders, and then you can guess the domino effect from there.

I believe men should focus on their purpose for their entire lives but especially from 16 to 40. Really solidify that masculine energy and calling. Then focus on building your own tribe aka family if that is something in his cards.

I just can't say what that is, or what it looks like, or how to get there. Otherwise, life wouldn't be interesting. It is different for every man, and the journey is equally as unique to each man. But I do believe that when one competes oneself, other men will walk along side him and uplift him.

That is the way of men.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Mike32ct]

Good thread. Learned helplessness is a serious problem for some guys.

If I may add one more question for discussion purposes…

“How does a guy have or obtain (sufficient) faith/belief that he can turn things around?”

I think that’s a big sticking point. I don’t necessarily think these guy are lazy. They just might not believe their situation is fixable or could be significantly improved.

 

[BadBoy89]

Men should remember, nobody cares if you are dead or alive, they only get what they can get out of you. Friends, Women, Government, they will only contact you if you have something they want.

A lot of the problems men have is that they want to be nurtured. They want "mommy" and think women care about them. This is where they get into problems. All a man should do is create the best version of himself so people want to connect with him.

 

[Gamisch]

Good thread. Learned helplessness is a serious problem for some guys.

If I may add one more question for discussion purposes…

“How does a guy have or obtain (sufficient) faith/belief that he can turn things around?”

I think that’s a big sticking point. I don’t necessarily think these guy are lazy. They just might not believe their situation is fixable or could be significantly improved.

Yes. Exactly. There are some posters here who openly admit they completly gave up on women. Kinda weird, on a site like this. I knew a few guys who acted like this ( didn't say it out loud ,because I was/am a real DJ so that shyt wouldn't fly with me). After being burned I catch myself (for the first time) actually losing faith in LTR'S. And that's a weird, empty feeling. Basically I am scared I am drifting towards blackpill, seeing other men who went through the same ending up fully blackpilled.

I think about the broken mirror or broken glass analogy. Once broken cant be fixed. This is nothing but a hard wired believe tho.
I geuss you just gotta pick up the pieces and put it back together as good as possible.

To answer the question;
I believe small steps are the answer. Basically all the cliches. A slow , perhaps somewhat boring road. A long(er) term plan where a man decides TODAY where he wants to be THREE years from now. No need to rush it trying to find quick fixes.

-mental health. Yes I know a lotta guys are anti therapy. But a broken man might benefit from it tho. Your therapist is that ime person that allows you to vent , and a good one might have comparison cases and solutions.
physical health. Stay away from Substances. Skincare, proper food, right amount of vitamins.

- follow passions. Bring back the inner flame.
-like @BadBoy89 says; no one cares about you. So you might as well dgaf neither. But the positive dgaf. Why holding back, while you are nothing but an ant, and grain of sand Whatever holds a man back is all internal.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yes. Exactly. There are some posters here who openly admit they completly gave up on women. Kinda weird, on a site like this. I knew a few guys who acted like this ( didn't say it out loud ,because I was/am a real DJ so that shyt wouldn't fly with me). After being burned I catch myself (for the first time) actually losing faith in LTR'S. And that's a weird, empty feeling. Basically I am scared I am drifting towards blackpill, seeing other men who went through the same ending up fully blackpilled.

I think about the broken mirror or broken glass analogy. Once broken cant be fixed. This is nothing but a hard wired believe tho.
I geuss you just gotta pick up the pieces and put it back together as good as possible.

To answer the question;
I believe small steps are the answer. Basically all the cliches. A slow , perhaps somewhat boring road. A long(er) term plan where a man decides TODAY where he wants to be THREE years from now. No need to rush it trying to find quick fixes.

-mental health. Yes I know a lotta guys are anti therapy. But a broken man might benefit from it tho. Your therapist is that ime person that allows you to vent , and a good one might have comparison cases and solutions.
physical health. Stay away from Substances. Skincare, proper food, right amount of vitamins.

- follow passions. Bring back the inner flame.
-like @BadBoy89 says; no one cares about you. So you might as well dgaf neither. But the positive dgaf. Why holding back, while you are nothing but an ant, and grain of sand Whatever holds a man back is all internal.

Thank you. That’s exactly what I was looking for, and I hope other guys read it too.

I get frustrated at times and have told more than my share of “it’s over” jokes lol, but I would never actually give up.

I really do want a LTR gf. I’m estimating at least one year to pull it off. But I agree with you that a full transformation/comeback is probably more like 3 years.

 

[Kotaix]

No one has ever given a crap whether men live or die, outside of his family. Our current time is better than most since we haven't had a real war since vietnam.

Good thread. Learned helplessness is a serious problem for some guys.

“How does a guy have or obtain (sufficient) faith/belief that he can turn things around?”

Go to the gym and get fit. There is no better proof of agency than seeing the gains.

Almost all people these days are addicted to instant gratification and give up after any kind of failure. This is the real problem with modern men, and the reason they resort to OnlyFans and OLD.

 

[Plinco]

It's really hard not to be bitter and angry with the situation we have around us in the modern world, men are screwed over and treated like second class citezins in the west.

Dating keeps getting harder because women get more and more fat while their standards keep going up.

I don’t blame any man for being angry at how fückrd up the world has gotten. We need real practical solutions to solve this.

Try and see if you can turn all of those liabilities into assets. Start your own business and get involved in politics in Australia. When you are not dating women, think of yourself as having freedom to do whatever you want and live the way you want.

 

[Pokerbaby]

The practical solution is..get the **** out of dodge. Copy a page from ROOSH and live in countries that have more attractive feminine women. I was thinking about moving to the Ukraine or russia but Putin kind of ****ed it up. I used to live in Poland.

If you have any kind of savings, invest in a safe interest/dividend paying vehicle and teach english. Look for a good startup business. When I was living in Poland I used to make some side scratch by selling Polish and Ukranian playboy magazies to the USA. There's opportunity.

You want out, you can get out. But you need to take chances. It's the same for all game. You want to meet a quality younger woman, you need to increase your value and make more approaches and face more rejection.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

People make excuses because they want to believe they aren't in control of their own life and things just "happen" because they are out of their control.

But it's all bullsh!t created by their ego to make them feel better about themselves and the situation THEY put themselves in

The first thing you must realize is that YOU and YOU ALONE are in control of your life. If you don't like something in any aspect of it, whether it's your GF, your career, the amount of money you make, the shape you are in, etc then fvcking DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Don't complain or say I should do this that or the other. Actually fvcking do it.

Because if you don't honestly believe you are in control of your life then how can you ever do anything to change it? You can't. And that's the dilemma too many guys have...they are literally passengers in their own life watching it go wherever someone or something else takes it.