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Fight...break up...doesnt wanna break up

Game617

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Got into an argument with the GF, she got mad, said it was over and left. We had a discussion that night and she was talking about what went wrong, this and that. Say's we're not compatible. Said it's for the next relationship I have. Next day she texted me saying she wanted to make up...wanted me to make love to her etc. Ok she came 3-4 times. Had to cover her mouth. Thing is that over those 2-3 days we were fighting she's talking to a couple of other guys. They're texting her the morning I leave. She lies and says its her mother....

I'm thinking maybe it's over and she just trying to play me and play the field until she finds a replacement. Say's she loves me, misses me and all of that. I mean she could have gotten really mad and hooked up. IDK. Things are a little rocky.

BTW, she gave me the second best BJ of my life...so really I shouldn't be complaining right? My toes were curling....

It's kinda weird, cuz I like her a lot. Just don't know if she's sincere with me. And sometimes I don't want to see her or talk to her. Kind of like my hearts not in it. Maybe she needs to earn my trust...

Any advice?
 
B

BeDJ

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Your gut is right.

She is entertaining other offers while having you as a safety net. She won't break up with you JUST yet until she has secured the next one. She knows how to keep you around, dancing to her fiddle. The moment she ready to dump you, she will.

Prepare you exit strategy NOW.
 

Game617

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Do others agree? Is it worth trying to build her interest level? How do you know?
I didn't answer my phone and she just called me 4 times and left a voice message. Part of it, she thought I was going to break up with her. I wasn't really feeling her. Treated her like badly on the occasion. Apologized.

Keep her texting and calling me? Cancel the plans I have? Tell her I'm busy over the weekend? According to her we're together....It's a catch 22.
 

zinc4

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Well, she is definitely playing the field...i am also going through a possible break up right now with a girl i have been with nearly 3 years...it's not fun of course, but if she has guys texting her that frequently and telling you it's her mothen then wow...yes, you shoudln't take her seriously at all...you could continue having sex with her while you look for other women at the same time...but if you can't control your emotions for her then you should probably begin backing off...but if you can, just continue having sex with her but don't consider her anything more than a sex buddy who is probably banging other guys as well or will be soon...if you can do that, she may even come around noticing how indifferent you have become...but i'm not sure if you are able to control your emotions for her or not...up to you. Either way, i wouldn't count on her changing...that is a losing fight.
 

Masculinity

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OP: have you confirmed that other men are texting her or is it something you believe to be going on? Also, it appears that you have lost quite a bit of respect for her based on this situation. When you mention liking her, are you referring to sex or having a monogamous relationship with her? I can give you better advice if I know what you're thinking.

Regardless of that, however, I would distance from her and give her the privilege of missing you so that she realizes what she has lost. You aren't forced to be in a relationship with her and if she's already talking to other men--like you claim--then it makes no difference. I would get out there and meet new girls. A woman who lies to you about simple text messages is likely to be deceptive and manipulating about a plethora of more serious things.

Drop her and go no-contact for a week to regain the frame. Once you do, have her give you reasons about why you should get back with her after her alleged "incompatibility" between you two. Depending how she reacts, make a decision. I would definitely pull back and limit the time and attention you give this girl. Whatever you do, do NOT take her back immediately; that would only demonstrate that she has you wrapped around her finger and make her want to run away from you. Paradoxically, "treating a girl right" can result in her losing interest. This is why being a jerk without being abusive, teasing her, and keeping the relationship fun is so critical. Women love emotions; if you can provide that roller coaster for her and make her feel like the star in a soap opera, she is likely to love your for it.
 
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d!ckmojo

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I posted this in another thread, but its relevant in this situation as well.

Good looking girl's lives are too easy. Literally everything is provided for them on a platter, for no effort on their part. The simply lay back and accept tributes.

This sends them crazy.

They start to crave for the one thing they don't get handed to them on a platter: drama. challenge. intense negative emotion.

After a while in nice, healthy, secure relationship, they start to get bored. And then they start to resent it. And then they start little sh1t fights for no reason, and at this point the relationship is past the point of no return.

She resents you, because you're too nice, and because the relationship is too healthy. She is bored and wants to be seduced by other guys. Sure, she feels guilty about it, but her feelings of guilt are subordinate to her feelings of boredom and resentment.

The only way to prevent this dynamic from occurring in a relationship is to use Heartiste's "Dread Game". Instill fear in her, create drama. Make her suffer. You think "but I love her, I don't want her to suffer," but she's thinking "oh God, this guy is no challenge, this guy gives me no excitement, other guys are way more exciting than him".

And this is where you're at now.
 

Kbomb

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d!ckmojo said:
I posted this in another thread, but its relevant in this situation as well.

Good looking girl's lives are too easy. Literally everything is provided for them on a platter, for no effort on their part. The simply lay back and accept tributes.

This sends them crazy.

They start to crave for the one thing they don't get handed to them on a platter: drama. challenge. intense negative emotion.

After a while in nice, healthy, secure relationship, they start to get bored. And then they start to resent it. And then they start little sh1t fights for no reason, and at this point the relationship is past the point of no return.

She resents you, because you're too nice, and because the relationship is too healthy. She is bored and wants to be seduced by other guys. Sure, she feels guilty about it, but her feelings of guilt are subordinate to her feelings of boredom and resentment.

The only way to prevent this dynamic from occurring in a relationship is to use Heartiste's "Dread Game". Instill fear in her, create drama. Make her suffer. You think "but I love her, I don't want her to suffer," but she's thinking "oh God, this guy is no challenge, this guy gives me no excitement, other guys are way more exciting than him".

And this is where you're at now.
this is good
 

Game617

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When it looked like we were going to be broken up, I broke up with her, she broke up with me, then started talking to these dudes. She invites me over for make up sex. Next morning these dudes are texting her. Chick is mad dumb, says it's a voicemail, hear the call to voicemail, no voicemail. Told her 5 min later to let me see her phone, sounds like she banged one last week talking about she left something at his place, and went out with the other. Usually she's mad chill if I were to look at her phone. Never locked it or had dudes calling. Was with her all the time. We fought technically broke up and she went back to her old FWB.

I mean she's kind of a nice girl....wanted to be with me every waking moment. Called me all the time. Met all of her friends. Introduced me as her BF. She made efforts to communicate, compromise, and keep me happy. Problem was she was dropping BS, and sometimes I just wasn't feeling her all that much. I told her, you know what this really isn't going to work. Etc. A good amount of the time that I was with her...I was thinking about dropping her.
 

zinc4

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oh geez, this sounds like the situation with my ex-wife....if you try to seriously take her back now after she did that she will never respect you...unless maybe she crawls on the floor begging for your forgiveness, but that probably isn't going to happen obviously...i want to revise what i originally said...for your own good, you should back away completely immediately and meet new women..if you continue to have sex with her, she is going to drop you like a bad habit sooner than later..
 

Game617

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When it looked like we were going to be broken up, I broke up with her, she broke up with me, then started talking to these dudes. She invites me over for make up sex. Next morning these dudes are texting her. Chick is mad dumb, says it's a voicemail, hear the call to voicemail, no voicemail. Told her 5 min later to let me see her phone, sounds like she banged one last week talking about she left something at his place, and went out with the other. Usually she's mad chill if I were to look at her phone. Never locked it or had dudes calling. Was with her all the time. We fought technically broke up and she went back to her old FWB.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

The Duke

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d!ckmojo said:
I posted this in another thread, but its relevant in this situation as well.

Good looking girl's lives are too easy. Literally everything is provided for them on a platter, for no effort on their part. The simply lay back and accept tributes.

This sends them crazy.

They start to crave for the one thing they don't get handed to them on a platter: drama. challenge. intense negative emotion.

After a while in nice, healthy, secure relationship, they start to get bored. And then they start to resent it. And then they start little sh1t fights for no reason, and at this point the relationship is past the point of no return.

She resents you, because you're too nice, and because the relationship is too healthy. She is bored and wants to be seduced by other guys. Sure, she feels guilty about it, but her feelings of guilt are subordinate to her feelings of boredom and resentment.

The only way to prevent this dynamic from occurring in a relationship is to use Heartiste's "Dread Game". Instill fear in her, create drama. Make her suffer. You think "but I love her, I don't want her to suffer," but she's thinking "oh God, this guy is no challenge, this guy gives me no excitement, other guys are way more exciting than him".

And this is where you're at now.
.......sounds like somebody has dated a few "attractive" women.
 

5string

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Pound her when you can. Stop "liking" her in the meantime.

When it's over, kick her to the rear with her gear.
 

Game617

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A few days ago she gave me one of the best BJs of my life....I laying there thinking goddamn, this has to be...2nd or third best. Cooked me dinner.
 

pdx1138

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I've been in that situation and did what 5string recommends.

That's what I'd do if I were you.
 

SgtSplacker

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d!ckmojo said:
I posted this in another thread, but its relevant in this situation as well.

Good looking girl's lives are too easy. Literally everything is provided for them on a platter, for no effort on their part. The simply lay back and accept tributes.

This sends them crazy.

They start to crave for the one thing they don't get handed to them on a platter: drama. challenge. intense negative emotion.

After a while in nice, healthy, secure relationship, they start to get bored. And then they start to resent it. And then they start little sh1t fights for no reason, and at this point the relationship is past the point of no return.

She resents you, because you're too nice, and because the relationship is too healthy. She is bored and wants to be seduced by other guys. Sure, she feels guilty about it, but her feelings of guilt are subordinate to her feelings of boredom and resentment.

The only way to prevent this dynamic from occurring in a relationship is to use Heartiste's "Dread Game". Instill fear in her, create drama. Make her suffer. You think "but I love her, I don't want her to suffer," but she's thinking "oh God, this guy is no challenge, this guy gives me no excitement, other guys are way more exciting than him".

And this is where you're at now.
Right F U C K I N G on man. I have always been a proponent of the dread game. Suffering is the key to happiness.
 
P

perseverance

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5string said:
Pound her when you can. Stop "liking" her in the meantime..
Yeah, because someone can just switch off their emotions at a flicker of a switch? The best thing for the OP to do is just cut all forms of contact off from her.

The best form of overcoming someone or something is to go 'cold turkey'.
 

Harry Wilmington

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....seriously, do you guys KNOW what a girl that has interest in you looks like??

I'll make this short and sweet: as soon as you caught her lying about who she was sending her messages on her phone, it was a WRAP. Can't be trusted, not worth having as a girlfriend. Best BJ or not, her mouth talents are not a good excuse to keep her around. She's screwing other guys, so she's definitely not faithful, and the fact that you're not even all the way into this relationship means it's best if you both go your separate ways and stop wasting each others' time.
 
P

perseverance

Guest
rascal99v said:
keep her for the nookie LOL
What's the point in that? If my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend was doing what this woman was doing, I'd eject her from my life immediately. You cannot place sex higher than your self-worth, if you do that you're nothing but a feral dog.
 
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