Field Tested - Inner game that works!!!

[Spiky]

IME, the thing that upped my inner game the most was letting go of the fantasy world inside my head.

Most people seem to have a fantasy world running parralel to the real world.

For me, my reality is whats around me right now. If you arnt in front of me, im not thinking about you. I dont mean this in an arrogant way, im tryin to illistrate how to live in the moment.

Say a guy AMOGs me. The old me would be thinking about the guy long after he was gone, thinking up things to say to him and planning my comeback. Now i forget about it as soon as the guy leaves the room. I no longer feel stressed by life anymore.

Same with blow-offs, i forget them as soon as i see the next chick i wanna approach.

Living in the moment doesnt mean you blow off commitments and dont study for exams, etc. It means you plan your time sensibly and dont waste your thoughts on whats not in front of you.

What really changed me was one quote:

"As much as we try and delude ourselves of the truth, we ARE getting the girls we deserve!"

If your not getting laid by hot girls, its because biologically and socially you dont DESERVE to be laying hot girls. This was very hard for me to accept.

Once you accept this, you can stop living in fantasy land and take the steps necessary to actually GET the hot girls.

When i used to fantasise, id be thinking about chicks i know, chicks from school, etc. Now i only fantasise about pornstars and acctresses because im taking the steps to actually GET the chicks i want in real life.

Im not some super player but im not an AFC anymore either. This was what really stopped my AFC mentality.

One day you will die and the fantasy world wont mean **** then. If you lose it now and live in the moment you WILL become a DJ/PUA/Whatever.

 

[theSpeculator]

This is very solid advice. But the problem here is that many guys cling to their fantasy world as if letting go means death. There are some guys that cannot understand the concept that the reason they do not deserve hot girls is because of themselves. In their mind they have somehow hypnotize themselve into believing they are some ultimate DJ. You could called these type as narcissitic DJ, which I have notice there are many here. You can tell who they are because they are the one that are always making references to how good-looking they are, or how great their skills are, or how great of a DJ they have become.

For the record, I know there are a few good and real DJ here. But for every one, there are maybe 20-30 fake DJ to overflow this forum with their inexperience and erroneous advice. It seems that the reason why these fake DJ get so much attention is b/c they tell the audience what they want to hear (easy way to get lay without any hard work) no matter how bad the advice really is. The good DJ are for the most part ignored because they require the audience to work hard in changing their life to become more successful with women. And for a fact I know most people do not like doing work if they can be lazy. This may be why there haven't been any replies to your post.

I think this is why the real master DJ have already left. Instead of wasting their time posting good advice to people who don't want to listen, they could be doing more useful things in their real life. This is why I think this forum is heading downhill. Without trully great DJ giving real solid advice staying around, this site will not last for long.

 

[h2o]

I don't know how this post got overlooked, but I think it's a great tip.

I admit that I'm guilty of having this "fantasy world" habit. I can very much relate to everything you say that you used to do...I still do, though not as much as I used to. Your post gave me a bit of a wake-up call. You say:

Originally posted by Spiky
This was very hard for me to accept.

Well, if you are willing to explain any steps on how you went about accepting this truth, or provide any useful literature about this, I would appreciate it. I mean, I know that I could just do my best to keep focus on the "moment" but is there anything else one can do?

thanks

 

[Fender]

"Not all dreamers are acheievers, but all achievers are dreamers"

Sorry, I forgot who wrote that but I think thats very true. How can you improve and succeed if you don't know what you want? How can you learn from failures if you don't look back? The trick is not to dream for TOO long, or else we'll get "stuck" in our dreams.

Fantasies are dreams that we can't achieve. Goals are dreams that can be turned into reality.

-peace-

 

[Spiky]

h2o.

Unfortunately concrete advice is hard to give. What im trying to illistrate is that when reading inner game advice this is the sort of state you should be aiming for, as opposed to building a fantasy world in your head.

Eventually you get to the point where you dont have all these little voices going off in your head. Your not analysing the situation and you dont care whether your being judged negatively. This is being in the moment.

I find infield that my sets start going downhill as soon as i get analytical. Analyse when your back at home.

Fender.

By this i dont mean you cant dream. What i mean is that there is a difference between having a dream and only fufilling it in your head and having a dream and taking the steps to achieve it.

 

[cobrajoe]

I'm startin to realize that this is the only way to become a true DJ

You must get confident about yourself before you can show anyone else that you are confident. It takes time to change yourself, especially if it's changing for the better.

I have been trying to get this system figured out, and i'm glad to say that it does work. I introduced myself to a hot blonde last night without hesitation, then left without stalling or looking back. In fact, I didn't even analyse it til just now--something i never would have done before (just my little success story).

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This type of focusing on the moment and the immediate task is taught in Zen studies. Good stuff.