Well I'm sure many of you are familiar with Matt ala Casanova. He's a certified mack that has graced the board for a while now with his knowledge of the "game." It just so happens that I live close to Matt and we met through this very message board just recently.
Here's the story: I am trying to break out of the AFC shell that I have been living in my whole life. Every guy I have ever surrounded myself with has been a text-book AFC so it was only natural that I would be one as well (coupled with my low confidence level). Matt picked up on this and suggested we go out together to work on my game. This board helped him a lot back in the day so I guess this is one of his ways of giving back (other than his advice on the board of course).
My experience with women: Basically nill, I've never done a cold approach. I have never number closed and I'm still a virgin at 22 (no, I'm NOT ugly either!). I've had 1 GF and this was early in highschool, she approached me, only reason it ever happened.
I am a little skeptical at first before we meet up, sure he's a DJ on paper and he seems to know his sh*t on the boards but does it all really work in reality?
So we meet up at a local billiards and he pulls up in his brand new, still temp license plate, Audi A4 with the bling bling rims and the speakers bumpin. First thing I see when he steps out? Designer shoes, Aldos. But his outfit is simple; Some loose fit Structure Jeans and a black fitted Banana Repub. T-shirt and nice watch. Confident as a friggan celebrity. I knew right then that this guy means bussiness! I couldnt wait to get inside and pick his brain.
Now the lesson for tonight was to just get a couple conversations going with women. To show me how easy it was to make a cold approach in this type of environment. What is the first thing we do when we get inside? Get a drink and sit at the bar? Nope. We walk a lap around the entire building like we OWN this place and look at every girl in the billiard (big place). Ok, prospects are a bit scarce tonight but we will make do with what we have. We get some drinks and take a seat at a table and he lays down the basics (go read the bible if you havent yet). He's always scanning the place nonchalantly, taking note of the women we'd want to approach. What are their situations? Who are they with?
First thing we spot are 2 girls walking inside with 1 guy. Is he with one of them? BOTH of them? We dont know but we are going to find out. They grab a pool table and 1 of the girls goes to the bar to get drinks, right next to us. Matt says "watch this" and gets right up and introduces himself, he didnt hesitate and he didnt even have to think about whether or not he should talk to her (that's what AFCs do!). Now the music was pretty loud so I did not hear the whole conversation but he asked her right off the bat who that guy was and if he was "with" either her or her friend. Turns out he was just a friend and the 2 girls are single. I wish I heard the conversation better but I stayed in my seat. She was smiling the whole time though, that's for sure.
He takes a seat again and tells me her name, Katelyn. He's going to remember her name by associating it with something and repeating it to himself once or twice. It's sweet inocent Katelyn, not kate, not katie, it's sweet little katelyn. Not that he's going to need to know her name because we ended up not talking to them because Matt runs into a guy he knows who just happens to be with his girlfriend and 2 of her friends.
The second he sees this guy it's "hey I think I know that guy, lets go". Once again, no hesitation what-so-ever. We're about to approach 3 girls with zero hessitation. Matt barely knows the guy, they hardly remember each others names (but they do) and it doesnt even matter because he is confident as hell and we arent just going to say hi, we are going to join them for a while. We're introduced to the 3 women, 1 of which is this guy's girlfriend (damn is she fine!). She's with her friend visitting from out of town (also fine as hell!), we'll call her girl2 and her other friend (ehhh, she's ok, not real good looking but not an eye sore) we'll call her girl3. Matt basically goes right for girl3 purposely to leave girl2 (the HB) for me to talk to......greeeeaaat, time to see what I got. I held a good conversation although she was pretty shy. After each shot she took at the pool table she'd come back to me and carry on the convo. Ok so this is going pretty good.....until I run out of things to say, DOH! Just then a new guy enters the scene (a friend of the guy we just met). He knows the whole group and because I let the conversation run dry he eventually takes her attention away with his own convo. Matt played the wingman well and kept girl1 and 3 busy with convo.
I eventually wind up talking with girl1 (the girlfriend). Now I have come to the conclusion that the boyfriend is an AFC that just got lucky with this girl because he hardly talks to her and when he sees me talking to her he just looks at me, looks at her, then looks away and talks to someone else. Meanwhile I'm having a pretty good convo with her, she's giving great eye-contact and keeps coming back to me after her shot. If she werent in a LTR with this guy I would have said (thought) she were really into me, and she may have been anyways. I felt confident enough talking to her to have number closed with ease if I knew she was not with this guy. Unfortunately she was so I ended the convo and Matt and I went on the prowl again.
Unfortunately prospects were low this night. We bumped into one of the waitresses that Matt knew and had a brief convo with her. Very good looking and easy to neg-hit because she had a brace on her leg due to a cheerleading injury. Somewhere along the line towards the end of the convo she asked him if he was going to call her (he'd gotten her number already in the past). He points out to me that it is generally not a good idea to be f*cking the waitresses at a place you frequent because if things go sour it would be hard for you to go back there with other women. So you have to ask yourself if it's worth giving up many other women that you would be meeting there just to bang this 1 waitress? Generally not worth it, doesnt matter that she is smokin. Use her as social proof each time you go there, instead.
So we sit down and have another beer and go over a few things. Pointing out what I did wrong with girl2 and how my letting the conversation go dry for just a minute made her IL lower quickly. Keep the convo rolling or tell her that it was nice talking to her and get a number and get outa there. Just DONT stand next to her with nothing to say.
The next bar we hit is uneventful, it's a pretty sleezy place. We did run into another guy Matt didnt really know but they had recognized each other from work or some place. This guy is a drunken, loud, obnoxious AFC that thinks he's the man. What does he do? He calls over a girl to our table that is sitting alone, she doesnt even want to come over because he's such a sleeze-ball but he pretty much begs her for 5 minutes of her time...but then he cant think of a thing to say to her so he leaves! Ok now she's with Matt and I, neither of us are interested but Matt's not going to be an ass and snub her so he keeps the convo going until she joins her friends (much longer than the 5 minutes she agreed to now that the drunken AFC is out of the picture and Matt's talking to her). Not a single good looking woman in the place so we quickly leave after a couple laughs at the AFC guys singing karaeoke.
We hit an Applebee's for a bite to eat and we get a waitress that's pretty outgoing (5-6 for looks). Now normally I would just give her my order and that would be it, but Matt will have none of that. She's going to spend some time with us. Matt asks the basic couple of questions to get a convo going then we get into the topic of work and money and she says she works something like 60-hours a week at the restaurant and that its' great because she can buy her own place and drive a new car and that it pays the bills so he looks at her and tells her how stripping pays the bills for himself. She totally buys it and says "yea!? I've stripped before on an amateur night!" Bam now we have some real convo going, we're talking about stripping and her new car and how she just got arrested for street racing! He asks questions that make her express her feelings about stripping, mentions that underneath her sweet shell is a naughty girl and she loved it!
She didnt really meet either of our standards as far as looks go, she was somewhat cute though, definately not ugly. But we definately got a good conversation out of her and she loved talking to us. One thing I noticed all night was that once Matt got a girl talking she just kept talking and talking. Girls love to talk about themselves, all you have to do is find the right subject and you do this by constantly taking what she just said and rolling off it. For example Matt had just a basic convo going for the first minute with the waitress until she mentioned how her job pays the bills and she drives a new car. So he mentions how he strips to pay the bills (a joke) and inquires about her car. BAM now we have her talking about stripping and getting arrested for racing, now we are talking about how she's naughty and she just doesnt shut up after he got her going.
*Message too long, continue below*
Here's the story: I am trying to break out of the AFC shell that I have been living in my whole life. Every guy I have ever surrounded myself with has been a text-book AFC so it was only natural that I would be one as well (coupled with my low confidence level). Matt picked up on this and suggested we go out together to work on my game. This board helped him a lot back in the day so I guess this is one of his ways of giving back (other than his advice on the board of course).
My experience with women: Basically nill, I've never done a cold approach. I have never number closed and I'm still a virgin at 22 (no, I'm NOT ugly either!). I've had 1 GF and this was early in highschool, she approached me, only reason it ever happened.
I am a little skeptical at first before we meet up, sure he's a DJ on paper and he seems to know his sh*t on the boards but does it all really work in reality?
So we meet up at a local billiards and he pulls up in his brand new, still temp license plate, Audi A4 with the bling bling rims and the speakers bumpin. First thing I see when he steps out? Designer shoes, Aldos. But his outfit is simple; Some loose fit Structure Jeans and a black fitted Banana Repub. T-shirt and nice watch. Confident as a friggan celebrity. I knew right then that this guy means bussiness! I couldnt wait to get inside and pick his brain.
Now the lesson for tonight was to just get a couple conversations going with women. To show me how easy it was to make a cold approach in this type of environment. What is the first thing we do when we get inside? Get a drink and sit at the bar? Nope. We walk a lap around the entire building like we OWN this place and look at every girl in the billiard (big place). Ok, prospects are a bit scarce tonight but we will make do with what we have. We get some drinks and take a seat at a table and he lays down the basics (go read the bible if you havent yet). He's always scanning the place nonchalantly, taking note of the women we'd want to approach. What are their situations? Who are they with?
First thing we spot are 2 girls walking inside with 1 guy. Is he with one of them? BOTH of them? We dont know but we are going to find out. They grab a pool table and 1 of the girls goes to the bar to get drinks, right next to us. Matt says "watch this" and gets right up and introduces himself, he didnt hesitate and he didnt even have to think about whether or not he should talk to her (that's what AFCs do!). Now the music was pretty loud so I did not hear the whole conversation but he asked her right off the bat who that guy was and if he was "with" either her or her friend. Turns out he was just a friend and the 2 girls are single. I wish I heard the conversation better but I stayed in my seat. She was smiling the whole time though, that's for sure.
He takes a seat again and tells me her name, Katelyn. He's going to remember her name by associating it with something and repeating it to himself once or twice. It's sweet inocent Katelyn, not kate, not katie, it's sweet little katelyn. Not that he's going to need to know her name because we ended up not talking to them because Matt runs into a guy he knows who just happens to be with his girlfriend and 2 of her friends.
The second he sees this guy it's "hey I think I know that guy, lets go". Once again, no hesitation what-so-ever. We're about to approach 3 girls with zero hessitation. Matt barely knows the guy, they hardly remember each others names (but they do) and it doesnt even matter because he is confident as hell and we arent just going to say hi, we are going to join them for a while. We're introduced to the 3 women, 1 of which is this guy's girlfriend (damn is she fine!). She's with her friend visitting from out of town (also fine as hell!), we'll call her girl2 and her other friend (ehhh, she's ok, not real good looking but not an eye sore) we'll call her girl3. Matt basically goes right for girl3 purposely to leave girl2 (the HB) for me to talk to......greeeeaaat, time to see what I got. I held a good conversation although she was pretty shy. After each shot she took at the pool table she'd come back to me and carry on the convo. Ok so this is going pretty good.....until I run out of things to say, DOH! Just then a new guy enters the scene (a friend of the guy we just met). He knows the whole group and because I let the conversation run dry he eventually takes her attention away with his own convo. Matt played the wingman well and kept girl1 and 3 busy with convo.
I eventually wind up talking with girl1 (the girlfriend). Now I have come to the conclusion that the boyfriend is an AFC that just got lucky with this girl because he hardly talks to her and when he sees me talking to her he just looks at me, looks at her, then looks away and talks to someone else. Meanwhile I'm having a pretty good convo with her, she's giving great eye-contact and keeps coming back to me after her shot. If she werent in a LTR with this guy I would have said (thought) she were really into me, and she may have been anyways. I felt confident enough talking to her to have number closed with ease if I knew she was not with this guy. Unfortunately she was so I ended the convo and Matt and I went on the prowl again.
Unfortunately prospects were low this night. We bumped into one of the waitresses that Matt knew and had a brief convo with her. Very good looking and easy to neg-hit because she had a brace on her leg due to a cheerleading injury. Somewhere along the line towards the end of the convo she asked him if he was going to call her (he'd gotten her number already in the past). He points out to me that it is generally not a good idea to be f*cking the waitresses at a place you frequent because if things go sour it would be hard for you to go back there with other women. So you have to ask yourself if it's worth giving up many other women that you would be meeting there just to bang this 1 waitress? Generally not worth it, doesnt matter that she is smokin. Use her as social proof each time you go there, instead.
So we sit down and have another beer and go over a few things. Pointing out what I did wrong with girl2 and how my letting the conversation go dry for just a minute made her IL lower quickly. Keep the convo rolling or tell her that it was nice talking to her and get a number and get outa there. Just DONT stand next to her with nothing to say.
The next bar we hit is uneventful, it's a pretty sleezy place. We did run into another guy Matt didnt really know but they had recognized each other from work or some place. This guy is a drunken, loud, obnoxious AFC that thinks he's the man. What does he do? He calls over a girl to our table that is sitting alone, she doesnt even want to come over because he's such a sleeze-ball but he pretty much begs her for 5 minutes of her time...but then he cant think of a thing to say to her so he leaves! Ok now she's with Matt and I, neither of us are interested but Matt's not going to be an ass and snub her so he keeps the convo going until she joins her friends (much longer than the 5 minutes she agreed to now that the drunken AFC is out of the picture and Matt's talking to her). Not a single good looking woman in the place so we quickly leave after a couple laughs at the AFC guys singing karaeoke.
We hit an Applebee's for a bite to eat and we get a waitress that's pretty outgoing (5-6 for looks). Now normally I would just give her my order and that would be it, but Matt will have none of that. She's going to spend some time with us. Matt asks the basic couple of questions to get a convo going then we get into the topic of work and money and she says she works something like 60-hours a week at the restaurant and that its' great because she can buy her own place and drive a new car and that it pays the bills so he looks at her and tells her how stripping pays the bills for himself. She totally buys it and says "yea!? I've stripped before on an amateur night!" Bam now we have some real convo going, we're talking about stripping and her new car and how she just got arrested for street racing! He asks questions that make her express her feelings about stripping, mentions that underneath her sweet shell is a naughty girl and she loved it!
She didnt really meet either of our standards as far as looks go, she was somewhat cute though, definately not ugly. But we definately got a good conversation out of her and she loved talking to us. One thing I noticed all night was that once Matt got a girl talking she just kept talking and talking. Girls love to talk about themselves, all you have to do is find the right subject and you do this by constantly taking what she just said and rolling off it. For example Matt had just a basic convo going for the first minute with the waitress until she mentioned how her job pays the bills and she drives a new car. So he mentions how he strips to pay the bills (a joke) and inquires about her car. BAM now we have her talking about stripping and getting arrested for racing, now we are talking about how she's naughty and she just doesnt shut up after he got her going.
*Message too long, continue below*
