AsianCowboy
Don Juan
I need advice. Im devastated right now.
Here is the run down, we dated for about 1.5yrs, And have been engaged for 2 months. Interest level wise atleast before we got engaged was atleast in the 90%, she pursued me in the beginning.
Anyway about 2 weeks into our engagement, she cries and tells me she has something to say. She has very irregular periods and might not be able to have a baby. She knows i want them, anyway i tell her she should have told me earlier, but i love her and this doesnt change how i feel about her. then about 2 weeks later, she calls me and out of the blue says, do you love me enough to let her go. She explains because of the baby thing, and because we are different and she thinks she cant make me happy. I tell her again, i dont care abou the baby thing, we has some differences, like i like to party occasionally, she doesnt. I ride a motorcycle, she hates that, i smoke, she hates that too. But besides that we have similar family backgrounds, both goto church, similar in everything else. I say to her i love you, you love me, thats all that matters. Dont mention this again, she cries, says she is sorry, and wont worry about it again.
Anyway yesterday, i come back from a trip to NYC. And she picks me up from the airport. We hug, she holds my hand back to my place. We watch some tv, talk, hug, and make out. At 11pm, she turns off the tv turns to me and says. "i dont want you to love me anymore" She says, she isnt ready to get married right now, and doesnt know if she will ever want to get married. Im of course in shock, and ask her what is the real reason for this, because at one point she wanted to marry me, and in the span of 2 months doesnt anymore. She says, she partly because of the baby thing, partly because we are different. We talk more, i really get no real information. I tell her to leave, and if she really wants this, im not going to stop you, but know that you broke my heart and i never want to see you again. I ask her to give me the ring back, she takes it off her finger and She leaves. But comes back in 30 minutes, and just sits there and crys. I ask her why did you come back, because if you still want to break up there is no reason you should be here. she saids she missed me, and couldnt leave. Basically the same lame excuse about why she wants to break up. I give her a loaded question.. so when did you stop loving me, she saids she never did stop. she wants me in her life (friend way), and she is not sorry of our relationship, she ask me if i am, i said if this is the way it ends, i wish you were never in my life because you broke my heart. Anyway she wants to stay and hold me, i say "no" because at this point she never said she didnt mean what she said about breaking up. Finally she leaves, i tell her good bye and take care, she saids dont say that and leave crying.
Havent heard back from her today.
Now guys, i want you to know i would take her back in a heartbeat, because she is the love of my life. But im not going to go begging for her to come back.
I really dont know what happened and how her interest can drop so fast, even though she saids it didnt. She just wants to best for me and thats not her. I know this is BS answer.
What do you guys think the real reason is? And how should i play this if i have any chance of getting her back.
Oh PS, she had planned to break up with me last night, and probably had it planned for days, when i was in NYC, i could tell she slept over at my place, and collected all the stuff she had of mine and put it in a bag next to the bed, along with a teddy bear with her perfume.
Im so confused and just in total shock. I need some help. IF this was any girl, i wouldnt care as much, but this was my fiance....
Here is the run down, we dated for about 1.5yrs, And have been engaged for 2 months. Interest level wise atleast before we got engaged was atleast in the 90%, she pursued me in the beginning.
Anyway about 2 weeks into our engagement, she cries and tells me she has something to say. She has very irregular periods and might not be able to have a baby. She knows i want them, anyway i tell her she should have told me earlier, but i love her and this doesnt change how i feel about her. then about 2 weeks later, she calls me and out of the blue says, do you love me enough to let her go. She explains because of the baby thing, and because we are different and she thinks she cant make me happy. I tell her again, i dont care abou the baby thing, we has some differences, like i like to party occasionally, she doesnt. I ride a motorcycle, she hates that, i smoke, she hates that too. But besides that we have similar family backgrounds, both goto church, similar in everything else. I say to her i love you, you love me, thats all that matters. Dont mention this again, she cries, says she is sorry, and wont worry about it again.
Anyway yesterday, i come back from a trip to NYC. And she picks me up from the airport. We hug, she holds my hand back to my place. We watch some tv, talk, hug, and make out. At 11pm, she turns off the tv turns to me and says. "i dont want you to love me anymore" She says, she isnt ready to get married right now, and doesnt know if she will ever want to get married. Im of course in shock, and ask her what is the real reason for this, because at one point she wanted to marry me, and in the span of 2 months doesnt anymore. She says, she partly because of the baby thing, partly because we are different. We talk more, i really get no real information. I tell her to leave, and if she really wants this, im not going to stop you, but know that you broke my heart and i never want to see you again. I ask her to give me the ring back, she takes it off her finger and She leaves. But comes back in 30 minutes, and just sits there and crys. I ask her why did you come back, because if you still want to break up there is no reason you should be here. she saids she missed me, and couldnt leave. Basically the same lame excuse about why she wants to break up. I give her a loaded question.. so when did you stop loving me, she saids she never did stop. she wants me in her life (friend way), and she is not sorry of our relationship, she ask me if i am, i said if this is the way it ends, i wish you were never in my life because you broke my heart. Anyway she wants to stay and hold me, i say "no" because at this point she never said she didnt mean what she said about breaking up. Finally she leaves, i tell her good bye and take care, she saids dont say that and leave crying.
Havent heard back from her today.
Now guys, i want you to know i would take her back in a heartbeat, because she is the love of my life. But im not going to go begging for her to come back.
I really dont know what happened and how her interest can drop so fast, even though she saids it didnt. She just wants to best for me and thats not her. I know this is BS answer.
What do you guys think the real reason is? And how should i play this if i have any chance of getting her back.
Oh PS, she had planned to break up with me last night, and probably had it planned for days, when i was in NYC, i could tell she slept over at my place, and collected all the stuff she had of mine and put it in a bag next to the bed, along with a teddy bear with her perfume.
Im so confused and just in total shock. I need some help. IF this was any girl, i wouldnt care as much, but this was my fiance....
) I would not put it beyond her that she is currently pursuing someone else. Is this where her guilt comes from and the reason why she was coaxing you to leave her - huh? To make her look so kind and understanding of your feelings, if you were disappointed and left her. When you said you still loved her...she was the one disappointed because you didn't exit the door she gave you, and now you forced her hand to hurt your feelings and tell you the truth - she is hiding something!