I really get a lot of inspiration from reading about other guys stories, so it's only fair that I post what happens to me. You take, you give. I'll probably give too many details, but I appreciate a complete story and you don't have to read this if you don't want.
Today I went after work to this place where I volunteer tutor and we had a poetry night. I dressed nicely and cut my hair because I was planning to get up and read, and I knew some new people were coming just for the poetry night. If I hadn't cut my hair this morning, i'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to act like I did (It looked bad yesterday).
Anyway, I read a poetry piece and got a lot of compliments, so I was feeling good about myself. A counselor who worked there had invited a 30ish co-worker and college sophmore we'll call Carla. He introduced me to the older one only. So I asked him why he didn't introduce me to his other friend. He said "she's too young" forgetting that i'm 22. I didn't mean it to hit on her, and was suprised when he took it that way. A month ago in my AFC days, I would have panicked.
"Oh no, she may think I like her. Everything's ruined. This foils my master plan of becoming her friend and then tricking her into bed with me." I also would have thought it was wrong because I had a date last week, and it would be wrong to date more than one person at the same time.
Instead it didn't bother me at all. Her knowing I had an interest was a good thing. A minute later I took my plate over to the other side of the table and sat next to her. Something else I wouldn't have done. I made a decision as soon as I encountered this site that I would work on attempting cold pickups, and that I would never pass up a "hot" opportunity again.
I led off by asking about how she knew my friend. Then I started asking about her college and her major. She had a good sense of humor, and I matched it. I asked questions and made observations about what she said. I told her about a guy I knew in college who changed his image to get girls. This led to her talking about guys and girls at her college in Atlanta. She talked about what was wrong with some of them. By listening to what she disliked, I established that she was disease free, not bi, and not promiscuous. I'm looking for a short term relationship, so these things matter. The fact that she's going back to Atlanta for Fall semester also gives a natural end date which I like (I want a relationship, but not to the point where I have to make compromises about my life in order to stay together).
I looked into her eyes, teased her, was funny(not too many opportunities to be ****y). I didn't neg hit her though. Personally, a woman that I have to neg hit to get is one who doesn't match what I'm looking for. What was great was that while we were talking 2 different people came up and told me they really liked my poem (I have no idea if she arrived in time to hear it herself or not.) I chatted with them a second and then turned back to her. I tested her by not asking any questions for a minute to see if she would initiate more conversation, which she did. The co-worker asked me if I could fix a laptop computer since I majored in computer science. My friend the counselor told her that I built his computer (I didn't charge him, but I now consider it paid in full.) Carla then informed me that the broken laptop in question was actually hers and asked if I thought I could fix it (her co-worker was helping to set us up?). I said I would be happy to try. Right there I knew I had my in for the phone number (I would have asked her anyway, but this was all coming too easy.)
What she knew about me already: I volunteer, I write poetry that people respect and like, I live in a good place and have a job, I have skills with computers, I'm funny, I'm intelligent. She found all this without any effort on my part. If's easier when you don't have to fake it.
Everyone was starting to leave so I went to get my stuff. I was planning to ask for her number when I came back. Instead... you guessed it, when I came back she had her name and number written down on a card and told me to call her for the computer thing. We both knew that wasn't the only reason. I plan to call her on Saturday afternoon and arrange a time to meet. After I fix her computer I'll suggest she takes me out to lunch or dinner in payment.
The main thing to get from this story is that feeling good about yourself and confident makes everything easier. If you meet someone while doing something you're good at, you'll feel invulnerable. Go out and do things. Get good at something. Also feel good about the way you look, because you never know when you want to approach. Also, it's good to involve others in the conversation, because they may bring things up that otherwise wouldn't be mentioned, and you have more opportunity to sell yourself. That's all. I'll update my successes and failures with her for all to analyze and learn from.
Today I went after work to this place where I volunteer tutor and we had a poetry night. I dressed nicely and cut my hair because I was planning to get up and read, and I knew some new people were coming just for the poetry night. If I hadn't cut my hair this morning, i'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to act like I did (It looked bad yesterday).
Anyway, I read a poetry piece and got a lot of compliments, so I was feeling good about myself. A counselor who worked there had invited a 30ish co-worker and college sophmore we'll call Carla. He introduced me to the older one only. So I asked him why he didn't introduce me to his other friend. He said "she's too young" forgetting that i'm 22. I didn't mean it to hit on her, and was suprised when he took it that way. A month ago in my AFC days, I would have panicked.
"Oh no, she may think I like her. Everything's ruined. This foils my master plan of becoming her friend and then tricking her into bed with me." I also would have thought it was wrong because I had a date last week, and it would be wrong to date more than one person at the same time.
Instead it didn't bother me at all. Her knowing I had an interest was a good thing. A minute later I took my plate over to the other side of the table and sat next to her. Something else I wouldn't have done. I made a decision as soon as I encountered this site that I would work on attempting cold pickups, and that I would never pass up a "hot" opportunity again.
I led off by asking about how she knew my friend. Then I started asking about her college and her major. She had a good sense of humor, and I matched it. I asked questions and made observations about what she said. I told her about a guy I knew in college who changed his image to get girls. This led to her talking about guys and girls at her college in Atlanta. She talked about what was wrong with some of them. By listening to what she disliked, I established that she was disease free, not bi, and not promiscuous. I'm looking for a short term relationship, so these things matter. The fact that she's going back to Atlanta for Fall semester also gives a natural end date which I like (I want a relationship, but not to the point where I have to make compromises about my life in order to stay together).
I looked into her eyes, teased her, was funny(not too many opportunities to be ****y). I didn't neg hit her though. Personally, a woman that I have to neg hit to get is one who doesn't match what I'm looking for. What was great was that while we were talking 2 different people came up and told me they really liked my poem (I have no idea if she arrived in time to hear it herself or not.) I chatted with them a second and then turned back to her. I tested her by not asking any questions for a minute to see if she would initiate more conversation, which she did. The co-worker asked me if I could fix a laptop computer since I majored in computer science. My friend the counselor told her that I built his computer (I didn't charge him, but I now consider it paid in full.) Carla then informed me that the broken laptop in question was actually hers and asked if I thought I could fix it (her co-worker was helping to set us up?). I said I would be happy to try. Right there I knew I had my in for the phone number (I would have asked her anyway, but this was all coming too easy.)
What she knew about me already: I volunteer, I write poetry that people respect and like, I live in a good place and have a job, I have skills with computers, I'm funny, I'm intelligent. She found all this without any effort on my part. If's easier when you don't have to fake it.
Everyone was starting to leave so I went to get my stuff. I was planning to ask for her number when I came back. Instead... you guessed it, when I came back she had her name and number written down on a card and told me to call her for the computer thing. We both knew that wasn't the only reason. I plan to call her on Saturday afternoon and arrange a time to meet. After I fix her computer I'll suggest she takes me out to lunch or dinner in payment.
The main thing to get from this story is that feeling good about yourself and confident makes everything easier. If you meet someone while doing something you're good at, you'll feel invulnerable. Go out and do things. Get good at something. Also feel good about the way you look, because you never know when you want to approach. Also, it's good to involve others in the conversation, because they may bring things up that otherwise wouldn't be mentioned, and you have more opportunity to sell yourself. That's all. I'll update my successes and failures with her for all to analyze and learn from.
