Father question?

[MarkHammond]

I recently graduated college so I have been focused on gettin a job and taking care of our daughter. My baby moms being only 19 wants to do all the things like go out eat and stuff. So recently she tells me that she has been going out with some dude who spends money on her and treats her to food and stuff. lol She says she not gonna have sex with him because she wants to continue having sex with me she just likes the fact that he does all them other things. Now me personally view this dude as a lifesaver because I love her as my daughters mother but i really dont have time for all that bf gf sh!t. So im thinking I should just cut her off sexually and just take care of my kid. What yall think?

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

are you two dating?

if you are, what kind of relationship is this where she's out dating other men while having sex with you back at home.

ANd for another matter, "We aren't having sex...."

is just a BS line females use.

its either ment to be "we didn't have sex yet" or
"we had sex but i'm not telling you."

Dump her and just take care of your kid.

However do not become crazy or angry or make things impossible.

Being you two have a kid together, just end it nicely.

Because nine times out of ten, a women with a kid gets her day in court more then a man ever will.

ANd believe me, if you piss her off by doing something stupid in breaking up, you'll not only see your daughter only on weekends or every other weekend, but you'll also have to pay an arm and a leg in child support.

Best to remain friends but not lovers if you know what i mean.

 

[MarkHammond]

yea i know that is a bs line whether she did it with dude yet or not is irrelevent. She just been real horny tryin to come over here and do it and when I dont give her none she runs out and goes to the movies or whatever. Eventually she will give him son if not already

 

[MarkHammond]

any other advice? I guess its a ego or pride thing u never want someone else fukking ur **** but thats life

 

[Nameless]

Im a little confused,

are you two still together in some form of relationship?

Do you care about her in terms of her sexual relationships?

What are your aims?

 

[entropy]

http://www.ourcivilisation.com/decline/fathers.htm


this is why nature invented the family.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

swampwiz you either are one of the moderators trying to get a reaction from this board or you are a plain moron.


this is 2004, probably 75 percent of parents these days are not married.

Just cause you knock a girl up does not mean you have to marry her.

Taking care of your kid is one thing, but marrying the girl cause she had your kid, sorry, but thats not the way it is nor should be.

 

[Nameless]

yes and no elvis.. It may not be the way it is for many children (75% where did you pull those statistics from?) but the fact is that the majority (ever decreasing) are raised in a family environment. Usually headed by a married couple..this doesnt necessarily mean nuclear...nevertheless.. not my point.

nor should be.

That is HIGHLY debatable.

What I think you should get out of that post swampiz, is to not assume, judge or jump to conclusions without knowing all the details.

Mark, please continue...

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

In theory, two parents have a better chance of raising a better kid, it's just not the way of life anymore and in all honesty, it really never was.


Look at history, many of our forefathers slept with their slaves while being married. Some had kids they never admited and so on.


But back to the main point, if you think YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED because u knock some chic up, you are either in for a controlled life by this women or your gonna hate life.


I would bet that a kid is better off knowing his unmarried parents whom dont hate one another but dont like one another.

There are too many people who jump into marriage or get married just because they had a kid together. And u know what happens, normally they get divorced and wind up hating one another more then anything else.

How does that make for a better kid?

Banging some hot chic and getting her pregnant does not equal I HAVE TO MARRY HER.

Because taking care of your kid and remaining at least sort of friends with the mother is a lot better then banging some chic, marrying her, then a few years later divorcing her in a bitter divorce cause you two hate one another.

That sure isn't something that'll make for a better kid.

 

[entropy]

elvis you hedonistic sob, is it any wonder you o.d. on the bathroom floor? nature made the family model, cavemen were not pimps who went around impregnating females and abonding them. Wouldn't it be counter-productive not to have a hand (protecting) in raising your offspring?

true some people slept with there slaves, but they still had familys they raised, just not their illigeitmate bastards.
statistic abound on the social decay single parent households contribute. a few select cases of abusive or dysfunctional nuclear families, doesn't support your argument.

it's okay if you want to contribute to societies decay (it's easy if your a weak person to be part of the disease), but don't talk about something you don't know anything about.
it amazes me the lengths people will go to justify their behavior.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

"nature made the family model, cavemen were not pimps who went around impregnating females and abonding them"


Nature. do u even look around at nature? it wasn't nature that created the family model. Look at our history closer. Most of ur beloved kings killed their own wives. MOst of our former kings and queens killed their own children.

Some of our greatest stories and histories are about WIVES running off with soldiers. About a brother killing his brother for his wife. About a wife killing her husband for another man.

These stories were all based upon things that happen.

It was not about a man and a wife that helped each other out.

Hillary Clinton was right years ago.


Look at the older generations.

Most of them were raised in communities where they knew everybody. NOt everybody was related, but everybody considered each other a brother, a sister, a friend.

If you weren't watching your neighborhood, your neighbors were.

it was about community.

Thats one of the reasons why our society has changed.

There aren't no communities anymore. Everybody keeps to themselves. Everybody is out for themselves.

ANd to say this generation is why things are the way they are.

Go look at the 1920's. Go look at the 1960's. Go look at the 1800's. Go look at the civil war.

Brothers were fighting brothers and many wives wound up sleeping around.

Go talk to half of the people who weren't "slaves" but might as well have been who killed themselves for their railroad or industrial entrpreneurs.

Nobody is saying its right.

But to tell somebody they have to get married because they got some girl pregnant, I'm sorry but thats some religious bullcrap.


People who force themselves to be together yet hate one another are not doing anything GOOD for the KID.

 

[entropy]

 

[entropy]

justification

You are correct about the community.

And it's destruction is what causes most of the social decay, and if you think about it, makes a site like this necessary to some.

The examples you sited are not of ordinary circumstances.

Your examples of royality are moot. They don't apply to the general population, and courts (the rich) have always been corrupt. The tradionally adopt a form of hedonism, unattainable to the poor, and they have achieved a form of androgeny among their ranks in large numbers.

As far as your examples of great social upheaval, well like duh.

The 20's are a prime example. American history traditionally had more men than women. Typically a women had many suitors competing for her attention. Bad boy types need not apply.
Enter WW1. When the 20's rolled around, there were more women than men. Women had to compete for mens favor, rather than the other way around. This made females more aggressive, hemlines rose, and women dressed and became more exotic.

Still the majority of people chose to raise families. It's been a steady decline since ww2, rapidly falling in the last 2 decades.

There is alot of talk on this board about ALPHA, and being a MAN.
In fact being a MAN, seems to be so elusive to some. I wonder why? What does the ALPHA Lion, so popular in analogies, do?
He raises and protects his offspring. That's what a real man is.
He's not some Marlboro cowboy come to life. That's our biological purpose. So if you choose to procreate, then it is your duty to raise your offspring. Otherwise you turn your back on your species purpose.

That does mean keeping your home intact, not taking your kid to chucky cheese on your weekend. Procreation is a choice, it's not some kind of accident. They do make condoms (*warning to young dj's NEVER PLACE YOUR FAITH IN THE PILL OR HER FOR THAT MATTER*), hell at least try and pull out, it's not 100% effective, but it's way more effective than staying in and pollenating her.

Simple rule of thumb....never bare-back a girl you don't intend to stay with. You shouldn't be bare-backing any girl. But maybe some of you want some battle scars (i.e. sores on your d*ck).

We're seeing the culmination of decay brought on by the Industrial Revolution. It's not this generations fault. But it is your fault if you contribute to social decay. Don't want to have kids? Don't want to get married? Easy....don't. We're human, evolved organism. Use your species gift of choice and choose not to exercise these things.

People trap themselves. If you found out you hate her, it's your fault. Deal with it, you brought a life into this world your responsible for (*note to young dj's THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN WILL NOT GET AN ABORTION).

This problem affects us all. Think about this the next time your weeding through the emotional wasteland of our opposite sex.

I'll leave you with this thought.

Who's more of a man.........

the man who raises, protects, and guides his offspring?

or the man who spooged in his girlfriend (i.e. a moist hole, until another moist hole comes along) in highschool, decided he didn't want to be tied down, and lets the rest of us taxpayers buy his babys milk?

p.s.
" Nature. do u even look around at nature? it wasn't nature that created the family model."

How come humans have a HERD mentality then? Come on elvis, there are impressionable young sheep who read this forum.

 

[dietzcoi]

I got a woman pregnant and married her so I speak from experience

DON'T DO IT!

I paid a heavy price....

Dietzcoi

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

While i agree a "MAN" is one who sticks around and raises his kids, i still do not agree with you have to stick with the girl.

Times are different and times have changed.

WHo knows if its better or not.

Less then 100 years ago,

women and black americans could not vote.

Black people could not even drink from the same water fountains as white people.

Japanese people were put into "prison camps" during WW2. While there was a "reason" behind this, but still.

Irish-Americans were thrown into wars and refused JOBS because they were irish.

Many other immigrants were not dealt a fair or even good hand when they came to this country.

and during the Great Depression years, half the country could not afford bread, yet alone anything else.

there was a time that Half the kids born had a very good chance of dying before they were 2 years old.

People died of common colds every day.

and more then half the male population joined some form of the military. Meaning more then half the male population were not around to raise their kids for a few years.

So there goes the theory that MEN raised their kids.

Most men were off either at war or working to support their families.

ANd during these wars, some of these men slept with the foreign women.

When these men came back from WW2, we had the whole baby boomer generation.

and so on.

GO even further back,

Surgery consisted of getting trashed off of alcohol or high on some illegal drug to fend off the pain.

Go even further back, half of our literary and other heros married their underage cousins, or were drug addicts or were alcoholics.

during the 1950's and 1960's children had "Nuclear Bomb" drills. There was a real fear of Russia bombing the US and vice versa.



was it really that much better?


Yeah there are problems with today's society, but dont claim it's "the end the way civilization is going"

I don't know if it is or not, but when half the population was not allowed the same rights as everybody else, i can't consider that a better time.

 

[entropy]

Nice history lesson.

A bit off subject.

I guess qaulity of life is defined by cable modems, air conditioners, and designer clothes.
Oh and medical advances (denied to a large percentage of the population who do not have insurance).

As far as equality, it's an intangible ideal found nowhere in nature.

It is an invention of an evolved organisms mind, like chivalry, right and wrong, and justice. Funny how you embrace ideas like these, but you eschew the family (which you claim was man made). History proves eqaulity is not necessary, but it's a damn good idea.

Lineage use to be important to us. The names we named our kids had significance (we didn't name them after a host on mtv). Men raised their kids (not all men did, but the majority), their kids were an investment as well as an extension of their immortality.

You go to great lengths to justify your assumptions, based on the actions of a (hitherto) few.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

"As far as equality, it's an intangible ideal found nowhere in nature."


If this is your theory, then go look closer at nature.


Watch some cats screw around. Most cats, male and female, after a few moments, dont' care for their kittens.

And the male kitten goes on and bangs more cats.

The female cat gets banged more and has more kittens.

The cats have sex with their mothers, brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews and so on.

Same goes with most of nature's animals.

where does the whole idea of "family" come into play?

If you watch most animals, it's rarely ever HUSBAND-WIFE-KID who are staying together.

some animals, the mother stays with the baby and the father disappears.

Some animals the father stays with the baby and the mother disappears.

There is no assumptions made from a few people.

Most males went off to wars in the early days. It was needed, it was almost mandatory, and it was a matter of pride.

So the fathers left their kids and wives at home.

Who raised the kids?

the grandparents and the wives.

its wasn't just a few people, it was half of society, if not more back then.

but back to the point of "equality" isn't something found in nature.

if you truely believe in that, then you my friend, have no leg to stand on when u speak about family.

Go talk to anybody who lived through those times. It obviously wasn't a better time for most.

 

[entropy]

and the justification continues

Once again off topic, and what's your point?

Equality by human definition, isn't found anywhere in nature.
Organisms have defined roles, they're genetically predispositioned to have. There's no such thing as gay ants rights.

And once again, we have children stooping to justify their childish, selfish feelings, by looking to the animal kingdom.
There is something to be said about being an evolved organism.
Are you on par with cats? Did you have sex with your mom, or the rest of her litter? The female praying mantis eats the male after sex, so I guess this justifies this behavior in humans?

It's simple. Human are evovled organism. We were given a brain, to override instinctual impulses. We are the only species on this planet who can CHOOSE not to procreate. If you choose not to embrace our species gift of thought that's fine. If you can relate to a cats mating habits, it's fine also (just a little sad). Talk about reaching for the stars.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

I'm only bringing up natures creatures because you are the one who said,

"nature made the family model"


That wasn't me, that was you.

And nowhere in nature's history does the family model concept evolve.

You tell me this, What is the difference between most human beings and animals?

The majority of the species go out and try to get laid. Hell, look at this site, it's all about "getting laid."

The majority of the species impregnate or become impregnated and then never really raise their babies.

You tell me the difference between most cats and most human beings?

It doesn't seem like there is that big a difference, unless you count the majority of human beings brains that aren't used.

 

[entropy]

Nature did invent the family model......for humans.

Why would I talk about another organism, how is that relative to us?

All organisms have a genetically encoded desire to procreate, humans are different because we can choose not to.
This doesn't mean we can't have sex.

Are bees mating habits relative to cats?
Each species are different.
How are humans different?

Because a human baby, takes years or rearing before it can become self sufficient in the wild.

Does it make sense for a man to abandon his woman and offspring in the wild of yore?

Sure it happened, but there have always been pieces of shyt in humanity. Maybe you indenty with them?

Cats are born pretty much potty trained, were you?