Falling in Love Gender Study

[zekko]

There was a recent study that concluded that men tend to fall in love after three dates, while it takes women 14 dates. I saw this mentioned on TV last week somewhere so I thought I would bring it up here.

The first question that comes up is why? Why does it take so much longer for the women to fall in love? It could just be a case of indecisiveness here, but my guess is it has to do with options. Women are the passive gender, meaning they just sit and look pretty while the men have to come to them and ask them out. This gives them an abundance mentality as they are used to having a choice of guys who approach them. Therefore, they are pickier about who they choose, and in less of a hurry to choose the "love" route.

An average male, if he is not an approach machine, probably doesn't have that much choice being presented to him on a regular basis. So when he finds what he sees as a good thing, he tends to want to latch onto it.

This also shows why women get repulsed when a man gets attached too quickly or too easily. It reveals him as being a male who is not in demand and who does not have a lot of options.

http://lifewise.canoe.ca/SexRomance/Lovewise/2009/09/18/10980891.html

 

[SamTheHobit]

You're pretty much right zekko.

While the guys attention is most likely focused on one women.

Women, especially the attractive one's constantly have suitors which of course will take the focus off one guy and have there attention spread out thus making it harder for them to "fall in love".

 

[jurry]

Answered your own question I think..

On the flip side of that though a woman being passive means she has to work with what comes to her, whereas a man can choose what girl he wants to approach and how he carries himself with her. In that sense a man has a great deal of power, provided he is comfortable enough with himself to approach and doesnt put all his eggs in one basket.

 

[backbreaker]

with my wife, i mean i didn't tell her this obviously and did my best to hide my real feelings but it went from 0 to 100 real quick. i went from 'she's a plate meh" to "damn i really want this one" like on the 3-4th date. i went from really having **** to do being too busy to talk to her to actually making myself not call her just like BAM

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's evolution. Both attitudes represent the best chance to continue that person's genes. For the man, he needs to go through women quickly and have as many as possible - that's the greatest chance of his kids living. It's a numbers game. For the woman, who has to raise the child, if she chooses poorly, the man will run off and leave her. With a small child and no man to provide, she and the kid would likely perish. (Ironically, that's quite the opposite of the modern welfare state.)

A lot of the evolutionary instincts that guide us are products of ancient humans developing over the past two million years. They are not really relevant anymore, because society changes a lot faster than physiology.

 

[zekko]

On the flip side of that though a woman being passive means she has to work with what comes to her, whereas a man can choose what girl he wants to approach and how he carries himself with her. In that sense a man has a great deal of power, provided he is comfortable enough with himself to approach and doesnt put all his eggs in one basket.

True. But I've noticed that for women, being passive and not knowing who will approach them next can be exciting for them.

I saw this one makeover show (well, my girlfriend was watching it). This young chick was not bad looking by any means, she just dressed weird. So her friends and family wanted her to dress more normal. So they got her a new wardrobe or whatever. She came out at the end in this dress that she might go clubbing in. And her comment was "I wonder what kind of men I might meet dressed like this?".

That always stuck with me. In other words, she was wondering what kind of men she was going to attract dressed like that, and she seemed excited about it. With women, they can change their hair, lose some weight or whatever, and maybe some guy will approach her. With guys, they can work out and dress better, but unless they have the balls to approach, it's probably not going to make any significant difference in their dating life.