However I don't see the connection between flaking and ASD. Why would she be affraid of being thought a slut because she goes on a date?
Ok, I will try and explain the best I can.
You met her in a club, you were funny charming and attractive. You said it was fun seeing her again and you get her number. Now without rapport (ie: finding commonality between you and her, and finding out more than superficial details about her) she KNOWS that the only reason you want to see her again is for sex.
Now, with rapport, you find out more about her as a PERSON. Without rapport, you are only attracted to her because of her PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
When you get her number without rapport, she KNOWS she hasn't impressed you with her personality, and therefore she ASSUMES that you only want her for sex.
Now, she wants sex from you as well. But her social programing tells her that she cannot have sex with someone who is only physcially attracted to her. She would made to feel like a piece of meat by society. Therefore she needs to FEEL that she is more to you than a sex object.
So when you call her up and "meet for drinks", she knows what you want because the only thing you guys have in common is a PHYSCIAL ATTRACTION. If her attraction level is still high for you, she KNOWS she will not be able to stop herself, and hence she flakes on you.
It sounds f&*ked up, I know, but it is true. Think about it, how many times have you have some chick all worked up and ready to f&*k, and she ask you questions like: Are you a player? Are you gay? Where is your girlfriend? You do this to all the girls right? I don't sleep with guys I just met BLAH BLAH BLAH
Also you will find that if you HOLD back rapport, and just go C&F, be funny and demonstrate higher value, after a while the chicks will ask you questions.
This is their way of seeking rapport with you. They are attracted to this guy, and they want to know about him. Only then should you go into rapport GRADUALLY.
The same goes in social circle PUs. The girl sees a friend of a friend. She thinks he is hot and ONLY THEN does she want to know more about him. So she is ATTRACTED and then she needs the RAPPORT so that it becomes socially acceptable that they f&*k.
If she is attracted to him, and she listens to her emotions and f&*k him without rapport, then she is branded as a sl*t by her friends.
I consider attraction to be necessary a component of rapport (on a sexual level). You can't have rapport with a woman if she isn't attracted to you.
For me, rapport FOLLOWS attraction. Sure you can have rapport with a girl without attraction. This situation leads to LJBF because she is not attracted to you, yet feels comfortable enough for you guys to hang together.