Fake flirting and me unintentionally becoming a creep. Where to go from here?

[RustleYourJimmies]

This girl used to like me, but I never liked her back. For some unknown reason, I was always mean to her and always blew her off and thought she was extremely annoying. Then one day, I did something pretty ****ed up and it got her really mad at me. Thats another story, but whats important is that she was REALLY mad at me. That night I went home and though to myself, wow, that was ****ed up. I need to be nicer to her now because I genuinely feel bad about what I did.

So, I apologized to her for what I did, shes been a friend for 13 years. She forgave me, and each consecutive time we've hung out, I've been very nice to her, very friendly, and nice to her through texts messages. In the process of me being nice, she mistook that as me liking her. So she goes to my friends house and tells him she thinks I like her (which I DID, I just didnt want her to know just to avoid any awkwardness since we've been friends for a super long time)

So, my buddy records this conversation on his iPhone and she proceeds to say that

- She doesnt like me
- She flirts with me just to **** with me (Made me mad)
- I'm just a friend (Dont pretend like you like me and then tell my friends youre ****ing with me)
- She thinks Im in love with her now just because she kissed me on the cheek once
- She thinks I like her because I'm being nice to her via text messages as well. And shared these messages with my best friend

----------------------------------------------

So, a couple weeks go by and this girl is starting to take everything I've done/said and managed to find a way to twist it up and make it seem like Im in love with her. She never said I was a creep, but I FEEL that way now. She cant even tell me to my face, she tells my best friend and he tells me. I've never called her out on her ****. Heres whats happening:

1. I like love songs, among other genres. So when were in her car (or mine) with all our friends, I plug in my phone and play these songs. Everybody likes them, but she tells our friend that I'm playing them as a "dedication" to her. Like I'm playing the songs so that the lyrics are dedicated to her via me. This isnt the case, I just the music, so does everybody else. I've become a creep without even knowing it.

2. We ride bikes, skateboards, etc around the neighborhood and to the beach to chill once in a while. Such is life in Southern Cali. Haha. My friend had a bike, she had a skateboard, and I had scooter (lol). It was a razor scooter, the kind that middle school kids ride. Its fun to ride, but its small, and I'm 6'4". Im hunched over and my hip hurts when I ride it. So as my friend is riding the bike, she pulls up along side him on her skateboard and holds onto the handlebars so they can roll together and stuff. Im minding my own business on the scooter and I'm getting tired of riding this thing meant for 13 year olds, so I ask my friend to trade, and he obliges. Later on I find out that she thinks I asked for the bike so she can hang on while I was riding the bike, I'm not that desperate or pathetic, jesus, what the hell is her problem?

3. Every time I make eye contact with her during a conversation she tells my buddy im giving her "that look"

Really? ****. I dont understand how she manages to think this way, and as a result I feel like a total creep and I feel like I dont want her to ever see me because now I feel embarrassed. I'm constantly trying to find ways to reverse this, even though I'm not consciously doing it. Its just how I act. Now im kinda mad at her for making me feel like a tool, but I dont show it and I havent called her out. I cant call her out because I'd have to tell her that my friend tells me everything about me she doesnt want me to know.

This **** is REALLY immature but I have to find a way to do this to preserve a friendship of 13 years. I also want her to go back to liking me like she used to. She liked me when I was a douche, now that I'm polite, she doesnt.

She flirts ALOT. But she admitted that its not real. Should I judge based on her actions? Or is she just fake flirting to get a response out of me so she can feel powerful/controlling?

I lost the power in this relationship, how do I get it back?

PS. Ive ignored her for 5 days now. Thanks

 

[cstrife32]

Why are you letting a girls opinion of your actions actually affect your opinion of yourself? Just because a girl thinks you're a "creep" doesn't mean you actually are. If you know you're intentions weren't creepy or attention seeking from her in any way, than don't worry about it. Never let someone take your reality and accept their spin on it. Keep ignoring this chick until she gets the message. When you're out with her and friends though, don't come off as cold or angry because that will make people think she actually hurt your feelings. (which she did but you don't want other to think that lol) You should work on your inner game my friend.

Why do you have to preserve the friendship? Just because you've been friends for 13 years doesn't mean you have to stay as good of friends as you were. Back when I used to be the biggest AFC unimaginable, I had a girl that was my best friend that I was attracted to that I would do anything for, hang out with all the time, etc. We barely talk now because I have abandoned my AFC ways and I'm relatively certain it's because I don't serve her needs as much as I used to (read up on Briffault's Law). Always judge someone by their actions. She obviously likes to talk about you behind your back to your best friend; you know that. That should be enough to drop her. If I found out my friends were talking **** about me I would confront them and drop them instantly. I don't know if shes part of your social circle so you might just wanna drop her and avoid confrontation to make things less difficult. I know it's hard to accept because you've been friends for so long, but a friend is someone who supports you, is fun to be around, and doesn't use you to boost their own ego. She does not fit the definition. How long has this been going on for? It's really hard to change a woman's opinion of you (especially if its something condescending).

 

[Gray The Prince]

The OP has a strong username to post content ratio.

 

[RustleYourJimmies]

Why are you letting a girls opinion of your actions actually affect your opinion of yourself? Just because a girl thinks you're a "creep" doesn't mean you actually are. If you know you're intentions weren't creepy or attention seeking from her in any way, than don't worry about it. Never let someone take your reality and accept their spin on it. Keep ignoring this chick until she gets the message. When you're out with her and friends though, don't come off as cold or angry because that will make people think she actually hurt your feelings. (which she did but you don't want other to think that lol) You should work on your inner game my friend.

Why do you have to preserve the friendship? Just because you've been friends for 13 years doesn't mean you have to stay as good of friends as you were. Back when I used to be the biggest AFC unimaginable, I had a girl that was my best friend that I was attracted to that I would do anything for, hang out with all the time, etc. We barely talk now because I have abandoned my AFC ways and I'm relatively certain it's because I don't serve her needs as much as I used to (read up on Briffault's Law). Always judge someone by their actions. She obviously likes to talk about you behind your back to your best friend; you know that. That should be enough to drop her. If I found out my friends were talking **** about me I would confront them and drop them instantly. I don't know if shes part of your social circle so you might just wanna drop her and avoid confrontation to make things less difficult. I know it's hard to accept because you've been friends for so long, but a friend is someone who supports you, is fun to be around, and doesn't use you to boost their own ego. She does not fit the definition. How long has this been going on for? It's really hard to change a woman's opinion of you (especially if its something condescending).

I know this behavior shouldnt be tolerated but I'd rather try to solve the problem rather than drop her. Shes part of my very tight knit social circle, telling her to fuk off isnt something I really want to do.

Regarding her flirtyness. I tried to judge by actions and not words. But her words negated her actions, if you know what I mean.

I thought she was being flirty because she liked me, then she turned around and said she was doing it just because were friends. Which do I believe here?

If I pursue more, I look even creepier in her eyes because apparently she takes every little thing I do and puts a "hes in love with me" spin on it.

The OP has a strong username to post content ratio

Negged

 

[Hullothere]

ehh don't worry about it so much. If it bothers you that much, start teasing her a bit in a playful way. Just dont make it awkward.

She grabs onto your handlebars? "Hey I didn't say you could get a free ride from me!" say it with a smirk and let her keep holding on. So yah do that in your interactions from now on, the important thing is to keep it playful and not give a ****. This will go a long way in changing her mindset of thinking all your actions are done with the intention of gaining her affections.

cliffs: Tease her like you would a little sister

 

[RustleYourJimmies]

Thanks for the help. I should just act like it doesnt bother me and continue on with some slight teasing/whatever?

I just dont want to become more of a creep in her eyes.

 

[Deep Dish]

Here’s a candle in the dark.

Potential Rapist Syndrome

A crooked-faced atheist chick has set the net aflame with a tragic tale of threatening elevator courtship that could rival Caylee Anthony’s death by single mom. According to her, an inept atheist nerd propositioned her in a hotel elevator, which caused her to nearly faint with an attack of the vapors, like any equalist gender-normed feminist would do. In brief, a man entered the elevator with her at 4AM after a “skeptics” conference had ended, and proceeded to awkwardly and nervously ask her out to coffee, which she declined.

Yep, that’s the whole story. Riveting stuff, ain’t it?

But the important thing to understand is how Indignant Atheist Chick FELT. To use her words, she felt

Uncooooomfortable.

Poor dear. And then right on cue a chorus of feminist commenters chimed in with accusations that the awkward elevator man was a potential rapist.

For a replay of the characters involved, here’s a withering rundown of the sordid affair, including links to limp-wristed nancyboys who couldn’t wait to jump like little doggies begging for table scraps from approving feminists.

Potential Rapist Syndrome is a mind virus infecting the brains of put-upon feminists all over America and Sweden. The slightest effrontery by a man not immediately deemed a charismatic alpha male by the woman victim causes the virus to multiply rapidly, resulting in flawed reasoning that imputes the worst possible motives to innocuous, if unattractively nerdy, male behavior. Using the illogic of this mind virus, any action that a man takes in attempt to pick up a woman is potential rape as long as she feels it is.

…PRS is very similar to PMS in its symptoms. Women lose all logic and reason to a flood of hormones and emotional hysteria, rendering them unsuitable conversational partners until the episode has passed. Do not under any circumstance try to comfort a woman in the throes of PRS, or otherwise try to redeem your “inappropriate” behavior to make her feel better. She will simply lash out with increased rage, incoherent to everyone but herself, other sufferers of PRS and thimble-chubbed beta wankers hoping to sneak in their pants under cover of empathy. A woman experiencing PRS hates the mass of bumbling men for not knowing how to properly satisfy her desires for interaction with an aloof and charming alpha male. Like the PMS victim, any attempt to assuage her irrational torment will be met with an icy stare at best, and thrown objects at worst. Pointing out the flaws in the PRS sufferer’s anti-logic will be perceived by her as an act of psychological war, an imposition of your rigid male sexuality upon her enlightened female vulnerability and purity. Proceed with indifference.

Maxim #48: The feminist loathing of male desire is at the root of all their complaining about men and the dating scene. Feminists, in their hearts, despise the freedom and longevity of male sexuality. And they particularly despise that freedom when lowly beta males attempt to exercise it.

...Whenever you worry that the principles of game will become too well-known and overused by men, just remember Inept Elevator Nerd. The world is teeming with men like him who have zero clue how women work. Your worries that game will increase the competition above and beyond what female obesity is creating for the few remaining slender chicks in existence are unfounded. Inept Elevator Nerds continue to roam the plains in vast, undifferentiated numbers.

When in doubt about the goodness and righteousness of game, remember the fundamental rule of female magical thinking, gentlemen:

Beta = Potential rapist.

Alpha = It just happened!

No further explanation needed.

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/07/13/potential-rapist-syndrome/​

 

[Burroughs]

…PRS is very similar to PMS in its symptoms. Women lose all logic and reason to a flood of hormones and emotional hysteria, rendering them unsuitable conversational partners until the episode has passed. Do not under any circumstance try to comfort a woman in the throes of PRS, or otherwise try to redeem your “inappropriate” behavior to make her feel better. She will simply lash out with increased rage, incoherent to everyone but herself, other sufferers of PRS and thimble-chubbed beta wankers hoping to sneak in their pants under cover of empathy. A woman experiencing PRS hates the mass of bumbling men for not knowing how to properly satisfy her desires for interaction with an aloof and charming alpha male. Like the PMS victim, any attempt to assuage her irrational torment will be met with an icy stare at best, and thrown objects at worst. Pointing out the flaws in the PRS sufferer’s anti-logic will be perceived by her as an act of psychological war, an imposition of your rigid male sexuality upon her enlightened female vulnerability and purity. Proceed with indifference.

Maxim #48: The feminist loathing of male desire is at the root of all their complaining about men and the dating scene. Feminists, in their hearts, despise the freedom and longevity of male sexuality. And they particularly despise that freedom when lowly beta males attempt to exercise it.

This inability to separate 'feelings' from reality are why the vast majority of women are social incompetents and should have remained historically bound as property to first their father then their husband....

societal breakdown and disintegration is the only result when women are granted the freedom to dance to the drum of their profound ignorance. women simply are not fit to govern their own lives in a meaningful way (except perhaps folding clothes at the gap) and must be governed mind and body by a grown man

 

[RustleYourJimmies]

Not sure what the hell I just read up there...

What should I do/how should I act when I see her?

 

[cstrife32]

Dude...I can smell the AFC on you from a mile a way. Not trying to talk down to you, but if you really wanna step your game up (pun intended) you gotta realize that you're gonna have to act differently than you have before. Why are you so worried about her opinion of you? Search yourself for the answer and let us know, if you want, but I'd bet its because you seek approval from others rather than yourself. That's the first step you need to take to improve your chances with women. Other people's words and opinions are just that, words and opinions, they aren't reality. I didn't say you should tell her to **** off, I told you to drop her as a friend and turn her into an acquaintance. As in, don't make the first move for stuff, don't respond to texts unless you really want to, and don't let her opinion of you matter. i.e. Don't give a ****. If she's in your tight knit social circle I'm sure you'll see her more than enough.

As for how to act around her, I like other people's suggestions on being chill like nothing is wrong and just joke around with her. Don't be serious about **** with her. I know you're attracted to this girl, and I don't know if you have oneitis for her, but it seems like you might, so I'm gonna give you the stereotypical answer everyone gets: spin more plates bro. You're definitely over analyzing this too man, if you're spending time stressing about how a woman is acting, that's a really big cue you're doing something wrong, especially if it's someone you're not even romantically involved with. Please stop making us spoon feed you for such a trivial issue. I'm gonna give you really good advice since you only have a few posts:READ THE DJ BIBLE. If everyone who got on SoSuave just read the DJ bible, half of these newbie threads wouldn't exist. (Super cliche right there) Again, I'm not trying to bust your balls or anything, just giving you a little tough love, man.

 

[RustleYourJimmies]

No offense taken dude, tough love is what I need. I've been reading the bible, I've gotten through a few important posts since I've signed up.

Thanks for the help

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Beta = Potential rapist.

Alpha = It just happened!

No further explanation needed.

More like

Tall attractive man = "He was so charming"

Unattractive short dude = "What a creep!"

Same conversation btw. :crackup:

 

[SoSuaveDude]

Jimmies remain....unrustled. feelsgoodman