Fair Game?

[drmeathead]

Last night I am at the bar with my friends and his friends. The one dude in our group just got a fully loaded Spyder convertible. He manages to park it right across the street from the outdoor cafe we were sitting. Sooner or later he gets this HB9 to go for a ride with him. Her friends stayed and chatted with us.

They come back from the ride and sort of go their seperate ways. I am still on crutches after my ACL surgery so I am regulated to sitting and taking alot in or talking with whomever decides they want to sit at my table so I just was layed bakc and not seeking out anyone.

Eventually I had to piss. When I came back, our table was gone. So I started talking with this kid and the girl who were standing right next to where we were all sitting. I kinda felt like I was CBing alittle but, I thought too bad next time save me my seat when I ask you to.

This girl and I get talking both with and without the other kid there. I kept it light and mostly impersonal. I was attracted to this girl but didnt fall all over her cause I didnt want to CB this other kid. I did sublty mention she was pretty but I didnt blatantly tell her. A little kino from her and some from me but I needed to hold on to my crutches so I had other priorities.

Anyway we were talking about an after hours and my other friend suggested she ride over to his place with the kid who had the Spyder. She declined saying she had to drive her friends over. She then told me that I could ride with them if I wanted. Also when somebody offered this other kid the seat next to her she said I should sit there cause of my leg. What I think is the clincher that she is interested in my gimp-a$$ is when this kid asked for her number and didnt remember her name she gave me her number and told me to call cause the other kid would forget. Also when she left, she pulled me close by the arm told me to call her making sure that my friends and her friends would get together this week.

My question is this girl is fair game right? He didnt bring her. She didnt leave with him or anything like that. She is a free agent right? I am not obligated to back off because this kid approached her first and is an aquaintence. It is up to her to decide who she likes better since she gave both of us her number. I know this sounds AFC but I truley believe bros before hoes.

 

[Don_Marko]

It is somewhat AFC question... which you answered yourself when you said the dude is an aquaintance and yet the rule only applies to bro's...
Don't hesistate so much and go get her tiger!

 

[drmeathead]

I wasnt hesitant with her at all last night. I just sat back and let things fall where they did. I think it is fair game myself but I didnt want to putmy good friend, who I know this other kid, through in a spot. My feelings are if she was just interesed in the other guy than I wouldnt have gotten her number.

 

[Don_Marko]

Look at all this effort you spent thinking about some guy you barely know instead of thinking about yourself and most importantly the girl... Man people go in and screw other ppl's wifes... no questions asked and yet you are worrying about this guy?
Don't let me catch you being hesitant about the girl and using the Spyder guy as an excuse!

 

[drmeathead]

I called her today. I I asked how she was and what she was up to. I asked her if that other dude called. She sai no so I asked hr out. She is free saturday. I told her I have plans to see my bothers Saturday butwould like to see her still. I told her tenatively 10 to meet for drinks. I told her I would call and give her a better estimate of the time Saturday.

Questions...Should I have bothered to ask about the other dude? I did b/c if she already made plans with him I wasnt interested. I didnt tell her that though

Was it AFC to not have a definite time? Was it AFC to explain why? I didnt want to **** her over but I am going to see my brothers playoff games. I am not missing that game for som girl I may or may not hit it off with. At the same time I dont want to **** her over by not making the date time.

 

[Ice Cold]

World isn't fair

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by Ice Cold
World isn't fair

No it ain't

 

[drmeathead]

well i got stood up. first off she called me and said cant do dinner she is meeting friends at the bar. this was my fault i suggested dinner. she said she didnt realize it was a one on one thing cause i didnt pick her up. i dropped the ball on that but she lives away and i didnt want to go get her. i guess that is what i get.

anyway she never showed up. i waited longer than i should have but i got watching a ball game and had to finish my 2ns beer. plus i got talking to another girl. at anyrate i was out the door and on my way home and this girl called. she asked what i was doing and i told her going home. i waited at the bar for er and didnt hear from her so i told her i was going home. she had an excuse that was somewhat novel so i told her to call me tomorrow and we would talk. her tone perked up when i said that. whether it was because she blew me off and got the guilt off by calling or she is gla i am not pissed.

either way i am sitting ok with her. if she doesnt call back then her interest is really apparent. if she does call back, then i am in control of things as she messed up and i will allow her a wnd chance at me.

thoughts, comments?

 

[backbreaker]

the only time someone is not fair game is if it is one of my 2 best friends, or my business partner. I don't give a damn about anyone else.

It's not my fault she is attrated to me, or in this case you. He may be mad, but so what?

 

[Don_Marko]

Originally posted by drmeathead
well i got stood up. ...
thoughts, comments?

Well here we go... I f***ing told you so!!!!
You seemed way more concerned about some dude that attempted to hit on her, than you were about the girl.
No wonder you got stood up.... it seems that she had very high IL that you blew because you didn't flex your balls

 

[Kelson]

Just to comment on a few things I saw...

1) The rules only apply to close friends. This kid, you barely know him, he has no claim at all. Especially if you weren't even trying to take her from him when she came to you. Just a personal issue, but I'm always a bit confused when people talk about kinoing "a little bit" with someone they're not hitting on. Either go for it or don't, indecisive is the worst choice possible.

On that note, let me also say that you going out with her is probably going to piss the kid off. Just keep that in mind, guys don't like to see even acquantances get with the chick they were working on for "so long"...especially with such an expensive tool like a spyder.

2) " I just sat back and let things fall where they did" So, basically what you're saying is, you weren't even using those skills you've oh so carefully developed? I'm very sorry to see you missing such an opportunity.

3) I'd recommend against "tentatively" scheduling dates. Tell them you'll call them back when you are free. Remember, you're the commodity, they're the ones who are lucky to be having a chance at being with YOU. Not the reverse. Banish that AFC thought.

By the way, you could have her come to your brother's playoff game and then you both go out afterwards. Be creative. But, seriously, don't try to squeeze her in after the game. It makes it look like you really want this to happen soon and will try to fit in anywhere it can. That is insulting to the girl and hurts your image. And, don't worry about messing with the chick's life a bit to schedule the date. Don't inconvenience her (after all, she hardly knows you), but she might have to reschedule some things to get an attractive, witty guy like you.

4) She stood you up because she didn't realize it was a one on one thing? Since when did that make a difference? Never. It doesn't matter if you really were going out to dinner with friends or with just her, it was expected that she'd be coming over by whatever means she chose. She didn't do that, she messed up. I wouldn't have bothered to get her either. But, I wouldn't have viewed it as a mistake or as a punishment...it is HER LOSS, remember?

I'm confused as to why you were waiting at the bar or why you told her you were driving home...then why you waited at the bar even longer. What are you trying to do, make her think you're available all the time?

5) You should see the girl feeling guilty as a good thing, something for you to make a witty comment about (I personally find it very easy to manipulate such a feeling with humor to make them smile) and it means she is thinking about you.

You're too worried about her calling you back to be worth her. If your "control" over her is so weak that you're going to assume you're in control if she calls, you need to review some of the articles around here. That said, I did that while working on becoming a Don Juan to...

By the way, you should have noticed something about what happened in your last post. You left her feeling guilty for a bit. Then you told her you'd give her another chance to convince you to give her a try, sometime in the future. This made her happier. She saw you as attainable, but still a challenge. That is right where you want to be. Just need to work on staying there for as long as you play with the girl.

Wow...long post Been a while since I posted on these forums...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Hey Mrmeatballhead don't sweat over it - if she doesn't call you then don't initiate contact.

If dude asks just tell him that she came on to you and offered her number. It was an offer you couldn't refuse.

Instead of trying to fit her in after an event you should have made a date where there were no time constraints or other things going on - usually this will lead to too many unnecessary phone calls and phone messages.

When you first meet a girl avoid making too many phone calls/call backs arranging things for the first date - quickly set the place, date and time and go from there.

 

[drmeathead]

Hey guys,

My time in the bar was 35 minutes tops. I talked to that other girl for 5 and I am still hobbling from from knee surgery so the trip to the bathroom took extra time. I made my mind up to leave after her not being there for 20 minutes.

I told her I was driving home because that is exactly what I was doing. I was thinking maybe tell her I was headed to another bar to meet friends but why lie. Is telling her I rather sit at home than sit and wait for her that bad of message to send? I thought it put her in her place a bit.

I told her to call. If she does well then great. If not well her loss. if she does ill set a definite time and place for her and i to meet.


letting fall where they may...i still was funny and whatnot when i talked to her. when i talked with her i entertained her. i did all the stuff i had to. when i let them fall, i just figured if i did a good enough job she would pursue me. she did.


as far the messed up planning. the game was at 11 am. it took me almost 4 hours to get there and a little longer to get back. if she had gone out with me two or three time i would have asked her to go but not for a first date. i should have just let things go at 10. i called her to see about dinner while i was driving home. i was getting back early and just it might be nice.

i think her inviting friends to meet us or whatever was her way of saying "if you are gonna take me out you will pick me up". next time i will pick her up but i ownt drive her all the way back to the city. we will hang out in her suburb. i am not a shuttle service.


just my thoughts to your thoughts. i just want to summarize by saying i was too nice to my last girl way too much. i wont do that again. i rather be at the other end. anymore thoughts or questions?