Fail Sex Stories

[BeDJ]

Second date last night
She drives us back to her place
Start having sex
She's getting really wet
About to jizz, think of an Alpha phrase
"My girlfriend is not going to like this"
"WHAT?" Get's off the ride
My face when I don't even have a GF

 

[user43770]

Second date last night
She drives us back to her place
Start having sex
She's getting really wet
About to jizz, think of an Alpha phrase
"My girlfriend is not going to like this"
"WHAT?" Get's off the ride
My face when I don't even have a GF

lol


A few years ago I took a first date to a gay bar that had live music. I like taking dates to gay bars - generally a cool atmosphere and there's pretty much zero male competition.

We're having a good time, drinking a little bit and she makes a comment about how she never has more than 2 glasses of wine. I say "live a little!" lol She ends up having half of another glass of wine. She shouldn't have.

She started feeling queezy and we had to sit there for a bit. I kept bringing her water until she felt better. I was suddenly like a caring father ha. We eventually head back to my house.

We get there and I'm showing her around my place. We get to my bedroom and I say something funny, then immediately go in for the kiss. She's receptive and I start feeling her up. All systems fvcking go...

Then we stopped kissing, and I tasted something bad in my mouth. It tasted like vomit. I proceeded to ask her, "Did you throw up in your mouth a little bit?" She was offended. No chance after that.

That b1tch did throw up in her mouth, though. I'm sure of it.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I was on down streak. Mid 20's and it had been months since I'd been laid. Strike out after strike out. My blue pill thinking was in overdrive. I went to a club with a buddy, which was my element. It was a good night, I was looking good, and feeling good. My confidence was actually on a high. I felt in the zone for the first time in a long time. I started dancing with a girl, HB8 Latina, we start making out. Her sister comes over while we're dancing and flirts with me. She then kisses me in front of her sister. Both sisters are smiling. I call bull$hit on them being sisters, they show me their I.D.'s, same last names and they look alike. Cool. I start dancing with both of them. I'm really feeling it now. They start getting into it, I'm making out with both of them, switching back and forth. They're putting their hands in my pants. The club was packed but I didn't notice anyone else, it was just us three. They're all smiles. I say lets go, they say "yes, your place?" I say "my place". I have no idea where my buddy is, I don't care, he's getting ditched, so are their friends. I have one sister in each and, ones leading me, while I'm leading the other. We're going out the side door. Girl that I'm leading has drink in her hand, she goes to set it down on the table by the door. Out of the corner of my eye I see a blonde approaching. Instead of setting her drink down she takes drink and smashes it on blonde's face. Apparently, they had a history. Blonde falls back out of picture and we continue the few more steps out side. Bouncers come out, cops are their within minutes. Sister who smashed blonde in face gets arrested. Other sister still wants to go with me, has her arm locked around mine. Their friends come out now. They talk for 15 minutes about what they're going to do about arrested sister, other sister still won't let me go. Friends actually pull sister away, with her trying to convince them to let her go with me. They all hop in friends car and peel away. No numbers exchanged. I'm left on curb, watching the car go off into the night. My hopes and dreams are all but shattered. No idea where my buddy is. I walk to car alone, go home, jerk off. Contemplate life.

 

[user43770]

I was on down streak. Mid 20's and it had been months since I'd been laid. Strike out after strike out. My blue pill thinking was in overdrive. I went to a club with a buddy, which was my element. It was a good night, I was looking good, and feeling good. My confidence was actually on a high. I felt in the zone for the first time in a long time. I started dancing with a girl, HB8 Latina, we start making out. Her sister comes over while we're dancing and flirts with me. She then kisses me in front of her sister. Both sisters are smiling. I call bull$hit on them being sisters, they show me their I.D.'s, same last names and they look alike. Cool. I start dancing with both of them. I'm really feeling it now. They start getting into it, I'm making out with both of them, switching back and forth. They're putting their hands in my pants. The club was packed but I didn't notice anyone else, it was just us three. They're all smiles. I say lets go, they say "yes, your place?" I say "my place". I have no idea where my buddy is, I don't care, he's getting ditched, so are their friends. I have one sister in each and, ones leading me, while I'm leading the other. We're going out the side door. Girl that I'm leading has drink in her hand, she goes to set it down on the table by the door. Out of the corner of my eye I see a blonde approaching. Instead of setting her drink down she takes drink and smashes it on blonde's face. Apparently, they had a history. Blonde falls back out of picture and we continue the few more steps out side. Bouncers come out, cops are their within minutes. Sister who smashed blonde in face gets arrested. Other sister still wants to go with me, has her arm locked around mine. Their friends come out now. They talk for 15 minutes about what they're going to do about arrested sister, other sister still won't let me go. Friends actually pull sister away, with her trying to convince them to let her go with me. They all hop in friends car and peel away. No numbers exchanged. I'm left on curb, watching the car go off into the night. My hopes and dreams are all but shattered. No idea where my buddy is. I walk to car alone, go home, jerk off. Contemplate life.

lmao

Good one, bud.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

and the other under 18. the younger chick was crying........so I said, let's go buy some wine

We spend the whole day on the mountain, getting ****ed up. Then sometime closer to evening they fall asleep, and I was left to do with them whatever I wanted. I ****ed the 40 year old first. Then I wanted to **** a young chick, but it looked like she's gonna get awake, so I stopped undressing her.

I regret that I stopped undressing her, maximum she could do is slap me,

Well, at least mine were two consenting adults. I didn't have to get an underage girl drunk and try to bang her when she was passed out.

But hey, at least you have your standards.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

you said under 18, so I thought you meant under 18. My bad.

 

[user43770]

Well, at least mine were two consenting adults. I didn't have to get an underage girl drunk and try to bang her when she was passed out.

But hey, at least you have your standards.

Damn. I didn't read his post until you said this. That's some creepy ass sh1t.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Damn. I didn't read his post until you said this. That's some creepy ass sh1t.

I didn't read till later either. I probably wouldn't have posted at all if had I read it first.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Once I was laying on my back, gf next to me. She'd called earlier begging off sex, as her puzzy was too sore (seriously).

so she's giving me a handy, and just before I blow she stops, thinking I'm about to blow, but she stops just moments before the point of no return.

This continues for another twenty minutes or so, and I'm literally going crazy.

I'm laying on my back, head on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling, eyes half closed.

She's on my right side, head on my chest, looking down at my Johnson, when I suddenly EXPLODE, coating both our faces, and plenty in her hair.

 

[Fatal Jay]

I was on down streak. Mid 20's and it had been months since I'd been laid. Strike out after strike out. My blue pill thinking was in overdrive. I went to a club with a buddy, which was my element. It was a good night, I was looking good, and feeling good. My confidence was actually on a high. I felt in the zone for the first time in a long time. I started dancing with a girl, HB8 Latina, we start making out. Her sister comes over while we're dancing and flirts with me. She then kisses me in front of her sister. Both sisters are smiling. I call bull$hit on them being sisters, they show me their I.D.'s, same last names and they look alike. Cool. I start dancing with both of them. I'm really feeling it now. They start getting into it, I'm making out with both of them, switching back and forth. They're putting their hands in my pants. The club was packed but I didn't notice anyone else, it was just us three. They're all smiles. I say lets go, they say "yes, your place?" I say "my place". I have no idea where my buddy is, I don't care, he's getting ditched, so are their friends. I have one sister in each and, ones leading me, while I'm leading the other. We're going out the side door. Girl that I'm leading has drink in her hand, she goes to set it down on the table by the door. Out of the corner of my eye I see a blonde approaching. Instead of setting her drink down she takes drink and smashes it on blonde's face. Apparently, they had a history. Blonde falls back out of picture and we continue the few more steps out side. Bouncers come out, cops are their within minutes. Sister who smashed blonde in face gets arrested. Other sister still wants to go with me, has her arm locked around mine. Their friends come out now. They talk for 15 minutes about what they're going to do about arrested sister, other sister still won't let me go. Friends actually pull sister away, with her trying to convince them to let her go with me. They all hop in friends car and peel away. No numbers exchanged. I'm left on curb, watching the car go off into the night. My hopes and dreams are all but shattered. No idea where my buddy is. I walk to car alone, go home, jerk off. Contemplate life.

Damn bro that gotta suck.