Facing aggressions/disrespect from ppl when you're with your gf

[pyros]

Hello,

I've been dating this girl for a couple of months, she's 32, I'm 39.
Some days ago, we were walking during the day, and then I saw these three gypsy girls: 50, 27, and 20 years old respectively. In my life I've been robbed several times when I was a kid by gypsies, so I try to avoid them like the plague.
The thing is that the 27 years old gypsy just hit my girl with her shoulder when we crossed ways, and when we turned to say something to them, this ***** spat on her. My first instinct was to get away from them, because they can become crazy if you do something to them, or they may even have a knife, so I just yelled something at them while we kept walking away. And that was it.

But after some days, I am wondering if I did the right thing? I mean, I wanted to avoid any trouble, but the thing is that my girl got hit on her shoulder and spat by that *****, and I did nothing besides yelling something back at them. How would you have dealt with this situation? should I have at least pushed this *****? kicked her? slapped her? I mean, the moment this scum get physical with you, I should defend myself and the ones I care about, but at what point? when they push me? when they kick me? you know what I mean? when they disrespect me eventhough they may not harm me physically?

Thank you.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

You could call the cops but that would be just a waste of time. Next time just don't come close to them. Any interaction with them would be waste of time.

 

[New_Journey]

Hello,

I've been dating this girl for a couple of months, she's 32, I'm 39.
Some days ago, we were walking during the day, and then I saw these three gypsy girls: 50, 27, and 20 years old respectively. In my life I've been robbed several times when I was a kid by gypsies, so I try to avoid them like the plague.
The thing is that the 27 years old gypsy just hit my girl with her shoulder when we crossed ways, and when we turned to say something to them, this ***** spat on her. My first instinct was to get away from them, because they can become crazy if you do something to them, or they may even have a knife, so I just yelled something at them while we kept walking away. And that was it.

But after some days, I am wondering if I did the right thing? I mean, I wanted to avoid any trouble, but the thing is that my girl got hit on her shoulder and spat by that *****, and I did nothing besides yelling something back at them. How would you have dealt with this situation? should I have at least pushed this *****? kicked her? slapped her? I mean, the moment this scum get physical with you, I should defend myself and the ones I care about, but at what point? when they push me? when they kick me? you know what I mean? when they disrespect me eventhough they may not harm me physically?

Thank you.

You gotta be very careful with that. Hospitals and Cemeteries are full of ego and there are people who have nothing to lose.

In that situation I would've called the cops for assault. The best thing is to avoid bad spots where your gut tells you they might be problems.

Fighting should be the last resort, I'll try to deescalate $hit whenever possible, even if you know you can beat up the guy, he might have a gun and fvcked you over.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think you did great. There’s nothing else that can be done. Any normal person would understand that. Protecting her and getting out as soon as possible was the right and only move. You can’t just attack people, especially women for spitting on you. It may have also been a ploy, and you may have avoided getting into the middle of the three of them where you’re lucky you or she weren’t robbed when not looking. Your bias towards these women overcame you after it, but be proud of yourself for not succumbing to it in the moment and keeping your cool. If she’s of any substance, she probably appreciated the maturity and protection you displayed for her.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

You stood your ground without looking submissive and risking unnecessary sh!t. what I would have done a little differently tho is grab my chick by the waist with a tight grip and pull her close to me or even put her in front of me and tell her to keep moving to avoid any body scraping by any of those nutty b!tches. An old dog notices bad intentions from a distance.
Pyros you an old wolf around here, I’m glad you still around.

 

[The Duke]

There are some women that appreciate it when you put yourself between them and a perceived threat. For instance, walk down a busy street with her and have her walk along the traffic, see if she doesn't move to your other side putting you next to the traffic.

Only thing I would do differently is move her away from the perceived threat as Gio mentioned.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Some days ago, we were walking during the day, and then I saw these three gypsy girls: 50, 27, and 20 years old respectively.

I think you're adding a lot of unnecessary and strange details to your story. I can see how you can estimate someone's age as 20-30-40-50, but how did you know the middle one was twenty-seven? That is rather specific for 'some gypsy girl'. Did you check her ID or did she tell you how old she was? Or is this whole story a fabrication of a hypothetical situation?

As to the situation, 'jostling' someone in a crowd is an aggressive provocation. If you allow yourself to be provoked by that, you play the jostler's game, so it's best to ignore the jostle and next time keep yourself between your gf and someone who might barrel into her.

How would you have dealt with this situation? should I have at least pushed this *****? kicked her? slapped her? I mean, the moment this scum get physical with you, I should defend myself and the ones I care about, but at what point? when they push me? when they kick me? you know what I mean? when they disrespect me eventhough they may not harm me physically?

I used to work in nightclubs as a bouncer and cooler. The moment you feel threatened by a physical touch you can start defending yourself, but you have to think about whether you're defending yourself or counter-attacking.

In the scenario you described, I would've walked on straight after being jostled. Non-responsive ignoring these type of provocations work best. Jostlers look for a response and any response can be used by them to escalate the situation, so no response is best.

Another thing is that in this case a woman jostled another woman in the presence of her man. You might want to be chivalrous, but in legal terms you will be seen as the aggressor if you (as a physically stronger man) physically (counter-)attack a gypsy girl.

As a bouncer I'm trained to subdue aggressive/drunk people with minimal harm, but since you're talking about kicking and slapping an aggressor (which often leads to jail time for assault with grievous bodily harm), I don't think you'll be able to subdue someone without harming them. And while many Americans like to think that an armed society is a polite society, physically attacking someone because they disrespect you is often something the courts frown upon.