Facebook Reply that I want to send tonight, please help me word it right

Silex

Don Juan
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Her facebook message to me was as follows,

HB 8: Where have u been? You have been in town for way to long without calling. This is a really good picture of you by the way. Who's your friend? She's pretty.

I put up a picture of me and my ex - I knew that would grab her attention!! :D :woo:

This is what I plan to reply with (I want to ellicit the ****y + funny vibe while negging the **** out of her)

ME: She's my future wife, so watch your tongue woman! She's MORE than just a pretty face! She's beautiful, intelligent, witty, caring, playful and she has a smile that will melt any man's cold, inconsiderate, manipulative, untrustworthy, and (insert any male trait/behavior that women always complain about here) heart. Oh yeah, and she's my ex.

(Insert your mods/ideas here)

I'll let you make it up to me.. you can be a brides maid at our wedding... oh and you have to buy us wedding gifts.

:) :)

Your thoughts? Feel free to completely change it to something you think will help me accomplish this if you think its necessary..

I haven't sent it yet, so no flaming please. I am here for advice and/or suggestions on how to modify/improve my reply.

My goal is to get a rise out of her and then make her laugh at the end.
 

Juan_Man

Master Don Juan
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"That's my ex. She's available in case you're interested."
 

Silex

Don Juan
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hugh?
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... I get it, thats good!

anybody else with suggestions?
 
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