F--K, The community, Do you!

[Solomon]

In the community you aren't successful with women unless you pull all the time or "F-close". The whole notion of game is measured on how many women you close, and how hot they are,. The meter is never measured on how you enjoy a girls company, or if your in a happy long term monogamous relationship. A lot of community material (blogs included, that use PUA lingo and rhetoric) are mostly based on the short game(I think the new slang is now called "Notch"). The conflict it creates is that now as a guy your basing your standards by some other persons terms of what success is with women and not your own. For instance I remember I use to hit the field hard when I first started back in late 08', I remember talking to a charlatan guru about me going out in the field, meeting new community guys, etc and showing him my field reports. The guy told me "dude your suppose to pull a 100% of the time". The guy then told me I should buy his product but once again he failed to answer basic questions I had on "building rapport". I realized this charlatan didn't have my best interest and just wanted me to spend money on his product (crazy cause it was after my 3some Lay report which is unheard of for a guy studying game for only 3 months)

Ever went out with a community guy? I have(more then one), typically when you first meet one depending on how "Hardcore" he is he will go on and on about theory and try to come of as a guru. Everything he tells you is to get your validation or telling you how good he is and how much he knows about game(blah, blah, blah). I've had guys call me or text me to let me know how their doing infield, hell I have done it myself and still do at times with my wings just to talk shyt. I'm not saying all guys do it but this is what happens. If you have a rep then you better "Show and prove". Everything is based on how to get "laid" and not enjoying the experience your gaining. The problem is what if you in it for the "long game" and not just the "tuna" a lot of material covers how to get the "quick lay" (aka SDL/SNL) and crap but what about long term relationships? theory and experience aren't the same, and should not be confused. If you think that the "technique" you use to bang the chick will work in a long term relationship your mistaking. Reason I say this is because a technique can be used to cover a deficiency for instance you can act like your high value, to the nine's but what if you your lifestyle doesn't reflect it? a women is gonna see that and pretty soon think to herself "hey I taught Jim was a guy who wants to travel the world and do stuff instead he sits at home plays witch of war-craft all day"

I remember there was a period were I was so excited to just go home and write the field report, instead of being excited to talk to women! I wanted other guys to gush over my experiences and say "oh wow solo great job". Don't get it twisted though I also wrote to get feedback from other guys on what I needed to work on, however I'm not the only one that felt like this. Here is a quote from a former prominent community member (I can't post his name because he is wildly know by guru's etc)

I'm not going to lie, there were times when I was thinking EXACTLY how you described. There were times when I was more excited about the FR/LR that I was going to post than I was about the interaction itself. In the case of the REDACTED workshop LR I guess it was somewhat understandable, but it is still backwards thinking. The idea that we would be more concerned about how other guys on the internet think about us than our own fulfillment is crazy.

You see, ever since Mystery showed up in ASF (which BTW was before I was around) the name of the game became winning the approval of other guys through your ability to PU chicks. It depends on two things: 1) A powerful need for the approval of others and 2) having a set system for that approval.


The system is like a game. You have agreed upon goals (scoring with chicks everyone agrees are hot) and a point system based on quantity and hotness. For a lot of guys the idea of finding a woman who truly satisfies them is a confusing concept, so confusing they would rather focus on something else. But a lot of these same guys are used to achievement in areas such as sports or academics like the idea of a point system because they UNDERSTAND it and think "I can DO that!"

But what about things like how much you enjoy the time you spend with a woman or how happy she makes you....or the quality of the sex you have with her? These things may ultimately be more satisfying things to pursue but where is the yardstick with which to measure them? How can your fellow PUAs corroborate and assign a point value to them? They can't, so out the window they go.

I couldn't agree more, this is were bull**** concepts like "ratings" scale come in. First of rating girls puts them in a pedestal, why? you see a hot chick and think to yourself she is a "9". Sub-consciously you have raised her value and now you feel you have to "game" her different. I do the ratings thing as well but I hate doing it cause truth is my scale is different from the next guy, So my scale is simple

1. Yes-no questions asked
2. No
3.Maybe--depending on how drunk I am​

Truth is there will never be one true universal rating scale. Yet the community insists on this, I have gone out with guys who prefer petite chicks so they rate them higher, I prefer thick chicks or women with curves typically guys will rate them lower.

She is a 9.1818 WHo gives a shyt! she is hot!
​

My point is ratings are all subjective and "puzzyaliah" based (putting the broad on a pedestal) In the end poster Mister Mcgee captures what I'm trying to say down here perfectly here

If you're smart enough and look within to figure yourself out, then you'll most likely leave this site and become your own man. Why? Because you realize that you should live life however the **** you want, and instead of wondering if it's "acceptable" or not, you realize it's acceptable so long as you're happy.

Playing by someone else's rules is boring and not worth the time. This is why people love characters like Dr. House. He's antisocial, has little to no women in his life, and everyone thinks he's a jerk. But does that make him a loser? No.
Other people are as insecure as you used to be, so STOP placing so much weight on what other people think. Everyone is different, and just because you aren't like them doesn't make you inadequate. You realize fitting in is a huge sham, and you'll always fall short in more ways than one. The most respectable people are those who are their own person, rather than a successful version of what's deemed acceptable.

You are more important than anyone else.
Nobody is an authority, so stop taking everyone so seriously. They're all just people. They're often wrong, often right, and often not worth getting your panties into a bunch over. They aren't that valuable unless you've got a personal relationship with them and can decide if they can teach you a thing or two.



Trying to be a player didn't feel right. I began to feel GUILTY about falling short of the social and sexual demands told to me by people on this forum.
It's great for weak dudes who have low sense of self and dont value their own view of the world. By being told how to ideally live, they can begin CHANGING. Hopefully, along the road, they'll become cool and secure enough that they can do their own thing, learning that being a player isn't their thing.

I value who I am more than the player I could have become.
My self confidence isn't based on how good of a player I am, how much I go out against my will, or how successfully I bide by some ruleset (of any kind).
I realized the reason I was getting into all of these schools of thought is because I placed so much importance on other people's values. I needed to build my own foundation of values. Nobody is perfect enough to impose their beliefs on you and make you feel inadequate.

My problem was that I idolized everyone. Now I idolize myself and the person I want to become. Instead of trying to measure up to other people's standards, I'm becoming my own measuring stick. This, I feel, is the most important thing I've learnt.

My confidence isn't based on anything external, it's based on my strong sense of self. Trying to impress others makes no sense. By being happy doing your own thing, and not feeling the need to impress people who have different standards and viewpoints, you are able to reach your own heights. You become a fantastic person to live with (Hi geniuses, you live with yourself for 85-90 years) when you're an inspiration, even to yourself.

Living by your own rules doesn't make you an outcast, it makes the synchronized dancers less valuable.
Players and PUAs call it "placing people a podium." I call it idolizing people for no good reason.
Indiana Jones is an idol. Random College Boy is not.

peace

 

[Mike32ct]

Great points. I hate the Community term "quality woman" or "woman of quality." Basically, that means a 9 or 10 in their world. (It's ALL looks based.) If you hook up with anything less in the looks department (regardless of her personality, intelligence, etc.), she isn't "quality" and you are a loser by Community standards. I never subscribed to that bs. Most guys will never get a supermodel, and that's ok. But the gurus want you to feel badly about it so they can sell you more products.

The idea that you must pull every night is also ridiculous. No matter how good your game is, there is an element of luck and being in the right place at the right time in order to pull. You might hit three bars that night, but the girl who would go for your type might have been somewhere else. You have no control over that. Many times closing time arrives and you still haven't met the right girl. It's time to call it a night and move on.

I used to love the earlier days of the Community when they referred to the "b*tch shield" as an "autopilot response." In other words, she does that to EVERYBODY AUTOMATICALLY. Yeah right. I really see girls being b*tchy to hot guys, the bartender, the bouncer, and the DJ (disc jockey) <sarcastic > lol. She would put her shield up to Brad Pitt too because it's "automatic" and she can't control it lol.

Lastly, with a good opener and some great stories you WILL score <sarcasm>. So they (the gurus) tell the old, short, fat, balding guy that looks, age, etc., don't matter and he can still get the hot 21 y/o sorority girl. So they give him an interesting opinion opener and maybe a cool story to follow up with. He does his approach and delivers the "material." The girls find it interesting and are being polite. They genuinely enjoy the free entertainment and giving their opinions. The "instructor" guru then calls the guy aside and says, "See. They are TOTALLY into you. You can get girls like that. It's no big deal." The student might even get a number close if one of them is polite. Does he get laid with any of them? Hell no. But the guru tells him that he needs to practice his "delivery" of these routines a few hundred more times, then he will score <sarcasm> lol.

 

[squirrels]

Great points. I hate the Community term "quality woman" or "woman of quality."

I hate the term, "community". We're not "in here" while others are "out there".

As for the term, "quality women", that's also the result of a misunderstanding. I'd say there are very few "quality PEOPLE" in general out there...men OR women. I get disgusted when interacting with people...partly because of how many are just simpletons, and partly because it often takes me a lot of inner energy to stand up and "be unique" and when you encounter enough people who just want to follow the program and be simpletons, it sucks me back down into discouragement.

I really want someone who I can bounce a little bit of energy off of and get some more back, which I can then amplify and send back, until we get a good rhythm going. That is RARE in women and RARE in men...moreso in women, it seems. They claim to be "liberated" but they're bred to be prizes and objects now more than ever.

As for looks...as long as she gets my wee-wee hard, I'm there. I'm tired of looking for stunners...most of them have gotten by on their looks all their lives and as a result are really quite BORING to spend time with. The sad thing is when you meet a girl with potential for a personality, but has been forced to just "shut up and look pretty" for so long that she's actually shy about expressing who SHE is.

I've reached a point where as long as a girl isn't morbidly obese or hideous, I could probably fool around with her. It's easier when she's "fine", and if I ever get into an LTR the girl's probably going to be at least a "7" looks-wise, but I'm not all that selfish with girls any more...what I DO want is for her to have as much fun getting ME off as I have getting HER off...again, the idea that you can project some sexual energy and have her amplify and kick it back at you.

 

[56andre]

Fvck squirrels, I really connected with your post, especially this part

I'm tired of looking for stunners...most of them have gotten by on their looks all their lives and as a result are really quite BORING to spend time with.

That’s so fvcking true

Seriously most good looking women are useless (except for fvcking, & even then not so)

 

[Solomon]

Great points. I hate the Community term "quality woman" or "woman of quality." Basically, that means a 9 or 10 in their world. (It's ALL looks based.) If you hook up with anything less in the looks department (regardless of her personality, intelligence, etc.), she isn't "quality" and you are a loser by Community standards. I never subscribed to that bs. Most guys will never get a supermodel, and that's ok. But the gurus want you to feel badly about it so they can sell you more products.

Agreed even the so called great "Mystery" wasn't banging 10's all the the time, the girl that he was gonna kill Herbal for to me is slightly above average but this goes to prove my point that everyone has different taste

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-ts8wB_I8w



The idea that you must pull every night is also ridiculous. No matter how good your game is, there is an element of luck and being in the right place at the right time in order to pull. You might hit three bars that night, but the girl who would go for your type might have been somewhere else. You have no control over that. Many times closing time arrives and you still haven't met the right girl. It's time to call it a night and move on.

exactly this is why half the theory doesn't work, because its an element of being at the right time/place etc, Ive tried my game on all types of girls, and some just aren't attracted to me i.e. Asians, Super hot hipster chicks etc

Lastly, with a good opener and some great stories you WILL score <sarcasm>. So they (the gurus) tell the old, short, fat, balding guy that looks, age, etc., don't matter and he can still get the hot 21 y/o sorority girl. So they give him an interesting opinion opener and maybe a cool story to follow up with. He does his approach and delivers the "material." The girls find it interesting and are being polite. They genuinely enjoy the free entertainment and giving their opinions. The "instructor" guru then calls the guy aside and says, "See. They are TOTALLY into you. You can get girls like that. It's no big deal." The student might even get a number close if one of them is polite. Does he get laid with any of them? Hell no. But the guru tells him that he needs to practice his "delivery" of these routines a few hundred more times, then he will score <sarcasm> lol.

Mike your commentary is spot on, I've been saying this for years, the community equates looks with personality, on top of that every guy on a forum or blogger is a "Super Player". Their all laying nothing but "ShowStoppers" or "Stunners" as Squirrels calls them :crackup:

 

[squirrels]

Mike your commentary is spot on, I've been saying this for years, the community equates looks with personality, on top of that every guy on a forum or blogger is a "Super Player". Their all laying nothing but "ShowStoppers" or "Stunners" as Squirrels calls them :crackup:

I'll be the first to tell people...I'm no "Super Player". I sometimes hate that I have all that positive rep, because people who actually MET me would expect me to have 10 supermodels up my arse. I don't...I just have a gift for understanding things.

Sh*t, every time I try to post on this thread, my brain just starts spinning off on some tangent. I had a big long reply here about human biology and the frustration of trying to reconcile the human mating urge with "game", and just how dangerous the fire is that we play with...but out of respect for Solo...I'll leave it at that.

 

[confusedstate]

The site reads more threads like this. For too many guys on here, it's about some quest to break Wilt Chamberlain's record of women he slept with. It seems they are caught up in the idea of being a player because to them "It's cool to sleep with a lot of women" regardless of whether or not he likes her, the sex is fulfilling, or what he has to do to get her to spread.

The thing they don't realize is...while they might have a certain amount of skill...if the girl is putting out that easily...it means she's that easy with other guys, too. Like someone said on the board "*****s belong to everyone and no one."

It's also not a bad thing to want a woman that fulfills YOU personally...is your type lookswise and personality wise...as opposed to trying to score with some hipster club girl just because your friends will think you're cool and you'll have bragging rights.

The best sex I've had was with a girl that would be a 7/8 to most but was a 10 to me and I found her physically attractive and respected her. While when I was dating her, guys would check her out often enough, that wasn't why I was with her.

I've had sex with a girl that would be a 9 to most...not a supermodel...but the hipster hottie type...and she just laid there and was extremely cold...add in the lack of an emotional connection of any type...and I've better sex with average looking women.

The funny thing is, I ignored so much of her bs...because I was so caught up in "the prize" and the idea of sleeping with a woman like her. I literally wasted a couple weeks of my life that I can't get back.

To some guys on here, that would be a "success" just because you can say "I slept with a hot girl."

That was my sticking point all along. I always had women that were "my type" that I'd want to date...but in the back of my head, I thought I was less of a man, or "just another guy" for not being able to get the interest and sleep with a super hot hipster girl. Part of that was because I used to like that type in high school (who didn't) and they didn't give me or 99 percent of guys the time of day...and it made me want it even more...to prove to myself that I could get them.

Every woman I've known like that, even ones that didn't have a problem with me and I got along with to some degree...has been completely vapid...interested in the latest fashion, sex and the city, the kardasian's, drama, clubbing like it's a bodily function...on top of that a superior attitude thinking they're doing guys a favor by even associating with them.

It reminds me of the movie American Beauty...even though the actress Mena Suvari isn't that type of woman and was bad casting lookswise at least...how she acted, and how it was all just for show...really she was an insecure virgin who knew deep down she was boring other than her physical appearance...yet she treated everyone, even her friends, like crap.