EXTREMELY LOUD vs VERY MYSTERIOUS vote

[black jesus]

hey i was sitting here and thought of something that has been kinda bugging me. do u think it is better to be that loud mouthed kid in highschool who kinda makes all the girls laugh but is waay too amped? or would you rather be the kind who kickes back and seems kinda quiet and mysterious and when the girls talk to him they have a very intense and emotional conversation?

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Why not have both?
Firstly, it's easy to hate people that are too loud. Be assertive, but not annoying.
When you're mysterious, it's quite easy to fall into the trap of not showing interest and energy/emotions. You do have to take initiative.

Strike a balance.

 

[black jesus]

reply

i am a reserved person (and trying to change that) but sometimes that makes girls want to start a convo wit me and we end up having a blast but when im loud it feels like i repel girls its sooo weird and annoying

 

[NorwegianDJ]

You do have to take initiative.

Strike a balance.

Reread.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

hey i was sitting here and thought of something that has been kinda bugging me. do u think it is better to be that loud mouthed kid in highschool who kinda makes all the girls laugh but is waay too amped? or would you rather be the kind who kickes back and seems kinda quiet and mysterious and when the girls talk to him they have a very intense and emotional conversation?

"Very mysterious"-- Unfortunately many guys take this road in high school because they are reserved, timid, just not one of the jocks, ect. I know I did. Its a lot easier than being the loud mouthed kid. But being "very mysterious" is a great way to go unnoticed through high school.

As much as I hate to say it, if the two guys are about equal on the "coolness" level in high school, the loud mouthed kid is guaranteed to fvck more girls in high school than the mysterious kid.

I think one wrong assumption your making is that the amped up, loud mouthed jock head cant have an emotional conversation when one on one when in fact I would say most are very good at making connections with people. Your just seeing how they act in front of a group of people, not when they are alone with a girl.

So if you can learn to me a little bit more outspoken in the classroom and groups of friends but remain cool and nice to girls when one on one your setting yourself up for success in high school.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

^ That.

You're using high school stereotypes of the loud guy and the mysterious guy, which is fine because they are true. But there is also a balanced guy and I find by chilling for real vs trying to look relaxed, I am loud a lot and quiet a lot. One on one I usually go very silent and physical but occasionally I get pretty loud. It works less though, I wasn't focusing on the girl I was just PARTY PARTY PARTY!

The loud guy usually gets first pick in my view of stereotypes at my school and schools near mine, but the quieter seducer type guy usually gets longer relationships because he is more that guy and rejected a lot less. I think if you were to abandon natural calibration, being super loud would be more conducive to getting laid but you would have to be tolerant to rejection.

 

[LearningSlowly]

First you need to identify the natural tendency in yourself. With people you like and know very well, are you loud and joking, or simple and quiet? That personality is the one people will find the most genuine.

Next you need to calibrate that personality to the situation. If you're naturally very loud, you need to sense that the party is calm, and maintain a slight mental check. I'm naturally quiet, but I have good, well-reasoned thoughts, so I need to be sure that I express them. I'm also not a great storyteller, the one that sits back with the whole party's focus. I need to understand that, so that I can emphasize and bounce off other people's stories.

My take is, find your strengths and weaknesses and make yourself better.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

First you need to identify the natural tendency in yourself. With people you like and know very well, are you loud and joking, or simple and quiet? That personality is the one people will find the most genuine.

Next you need to calibrate that personality to the situation. If you're naturally very loud, you need to sense that the party is calm, and maintain a slight mental check. I'm naturally quiet, but I have good, well-reasoned thoughts, so I need to be sure that I express them. I'm also not a great storyteller, the one that sits back with the whole party's focus. I need to understand that, so that I can emphasize and bounce off other people's stories.

My take is, find your strengths and weaknesses and make yourself better.

Read Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. It explains identities and personalities, and how to change them.

 

[DanZy]

Guys use the loud stereotype to act like retards, thinking they're going to get girls because someone told them it works. Guys also do the same with the mysterious stereotype; acting quiet (mainly because they're mad shy and boring). They then wonder why they have no success.

Like guys have said, a balance is crucial

 

[black jesus]

yea i agree with u guys but its hard to strike a balance because when you loose focus the dominant side will show the most which is what im trying to do right now. i could be very very loud when wit people
but then after a little bit my waay to calm self returns and i become mysterious again

 

[LearningSlowly]

Read Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. It explains identities and personalities, and how to change them.

Yeah I started it, I'll keep going. Was I close?

yea i agree with u guys but its hard to strike a balance because when you loose focus the dominant side will show the most which is what im trying to do right now. i could be very very loud when wit people
but then after a little bit my waay to calm self returns and i become mysterious again

I don't think you can have it both ways. If you start out loud, when you get quiet you're not mysterious, it just seems like you're sulking. You can adjust if the mood of the environment changes, but maintain a certain baseline, and have that baseline be the way you're the most comfortable.

 

[DanZy]

yea i agree with u guys but its hard to strike a balance because when you loose focus the dominant side will show the most which is what im trying to do right now. i could be very very loud when wit people
but then after a little bit my waay to calm self returns and i become mysterious again

Mysterious or shy and introverted? Because I'm thinking it's the latter, there's a massive difference between them. Force yourself to be social

 

[Jack Wealthy]

You change the energy of the room by changing your own state.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Yeah I started it, I'll keep going. Was I close?

Not at all actually. You referred to personality as being permanent. It is exactly the opposite, if you start identifying with other things, etc. I'll have to re-read the book in order to gain a better understanding of it.