extremely frustrating - don't know what to do next

[ronp78]

Went to dinner and a movie for our third date. I picked her up from her hair appointment and she looked smoking hot. Then in the car, it was nice, good eye contact, smiles, etc. Then dinner, where we had good conversation. I held her hand on the way to the show.

Then during the movie, for the first 30 minutes, nothing. then I took her hand. We stroked each others' hands for the next hour. Then we walked back to my car at the parking ramp. We had nice casual conversations the whole way. Then we drove about 10 minutes back to where her car was parked. I pulled up behind her car, and we did some making out (a bit more than last time) in my car for about 10-15 minutes. During this time, i did tell her that I missed her. She then said "me too, but isn't it so nice when we are able to get together?" I said "yeah, I wish our schedules weren't so crazy and we could see each other more." She said "yeah, once I work days (in 2 weeks) I can go out any night."

GET THIS: She knows my birthday is this week and kept saying stuff like "we'll have to take a raincheck and do something special for your birthday". She even says she likes the idea of me cooking for her (which I brought up from an earlier email). But I think it is all bull****. She knows I am doing nothing tomorrow night, and she didn't suggest anything whatsoever. Why after three dates is she avoiding seeing me two nights in a row?

I am sad, frustrated and annoyed right now. I just don't think she likes me like I like her. I think she likes to go on nice dates with me and be kissed, but she seems unwilling to initiate or do anything else.

What to do? Sigh.

 

[ronp78]

Thanks for the reply man. I'm really hurting tonight. Just feel like sh*t

It's been 2 weeks ago today that we went on our first date. We are both divorced and both have children. She 1, me more than 1. This makes it tough to coordinate schedules, find a private place, etc. Although, if she wanted to, she clearly could.

 

[jophil28]

She even says she likes the idea of me cooking for her (which I brought up from an earlier email). But I think it is all bull****. She knows I am doing nothing tomorrow night, and she didn't suggest anything whatsoever. Why after three dates is she avoiding seeing me two nights in a row?
What to do? Sigh.

She is Not avoiding seeing you at all. She is handing YOU the reins and she expects you to steer the wagon.. It is YOUR job to drive. This woman sounds like a traditional girl who expects the guy to do the work. Nothing wrong with that, my man. IN fact until you and she have slept together a few times, it is YOUR job to initiate everything.
Every statement that she has made says that she is willing to make herself available to you. However, unless you take charge of this she might want to get off the wagon after a few more dates.

 

[ronp78]

What do you mean by pull back a little?

Here is what will happen: She will send me an email tomorrow saying that she had "such a great time" and wants to see me again in 7 days. I am thinking of replying with only "OK" and seeing what happens.

She doesnt even text me or call during the week. Just about 2 emails every 3 days talking about mundane things and planning our date. I see other girls during the week, but none have caught my interest like this one.

I'm really just getting frustrated and having wild thoughts like she is seeing someone else too.

 

[Zunder]

Thanks for the reply man. I'm really hurting tonight. Just feel like sh*t

It's been 2 weeks ago today that we went on our first date. We are both divorced and both have children. She 1, me more than 1. This makes it tough to coordinate schedules, find a private place, etc. Although, if she wanted to, she clearly could.

Someone will mention something about "oneitis" and go "spin some plates".
And when they do - you should nod and agree.

Also - next time, instead of holding her hand, try pinching her ass. I'm serious.

 

[Zunder]

What do you mean by pull back a little?

Here is what will happen: She will send me an email tomorrow saying that she had "such a great time" and wants to see me again in 7 days. I am thinking of replying with only "OK" and seeing what happens.

She doesnt even text me or call during the week. Just about 2 emails every 3 days talking about mundane things and planning our date. I see other girls during the week, but none have caught my interest like this one.

I'm really just getting frustrated and having wild thoughts like she is seeing someone else too.

Sounds like she knows Game to me.

Either that, or she is getting fvcked hard by a guy or two in between seeing you.

It should be her hankering awaiting your call/email. Please don't take this wrong way - but this does not sound promising to me.

 

[ronp78]

oneitis

I have a 3rd date tomorrow night with a girl that I am very very sure I can screw. 99% chance if I want to that I can do it.

Even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment, I am sure that would take my mind off this one for awhile. But I really do like this girl.

I am willing to do whatever assertive move it takes to be with her. I really really want to see her tomorrow night instead of the girl that I can actually have sex with. But I am concerned that I may scare her off. It's really annoying me how slow she is being. But I have the feeling if I push on this and seem clingy (which I obviously am but have tried very very very hard in person to not appear so) that she will run for the exits.

 

[ronp78]

frustrating

Please don't take this wrong way - but this does not sound promising to me.

How can I force the issue by telling her "I want to see you more - in fact, tonight (tomorrow - Saturday)"

 

[Zunder]

I have a 3rd date tomorrow night with a girl that I am very very sure I can screw. 99% chance if I want to that I can do it.

Even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment, I am sure that would take my mind off this one for awhile. But I really do like this girl.

I am willing to do whatever assertive move it takes to be with her. I really really want to see her tomorrow night instead of the girl that I can actually have sex with. But I am concerned that I may scare her off. It's really annoying me how slow she is being. But I have the feeling if I push on this and seem clingy (which I obviously am but have tried very very very hard in person to not appear so) that she will run for the exits.

Yeah, but the fact that you say you are "concerned that I may scare her off", sounds like a case of oneitis in its early stages - whether you happen to be screwing some other chick/s or not.

 

[Zunder]

How can I force the issue by telling her "I want to see you more - in fact, tonight (tomorrow - Saturday)"

Oh, jeezuz, don't say that to her.

There are more qualified DJ's than me to help you out mate, but most definitely do not say that.

Rollo would say something like "You are the prize, so start acting like you are the prize".

How about next time she finally agrees to see you, say "sorry - have other things on my plate right now, and need to be in New York or wherever for two weeks - but lets catch up when i get back".

That will test her interest in you out.

 

[ronp78]

of course i have oneitis

It is very obvious to me. I have fallen into the trap.

I am 95% sure that if I can get her alone we will have sex. But she is avoiding it and only limiting our interactions to once a week.

Why would she keep leading me on like this? Why is she playing this game? What can she possibly be getting out of all of this? It is damn annoying.

 

[Zunder]

It is very obvious to me. I have fallen into the trap.

I am 95% sure that if I can get her alone we will have sex. But she is avoiding it and only limiting our interactions to once a week.

Why would she keep leading me on like this? Why is she playing this game? What can she possibly be getting out of all of this? It is damn annoying.

Ah, you ask why? She is a WOMAN! Fuk mate - I have to be direct - have you read Rollo's "Iron Rules" or Pooks "Poon Commandments".

 

[ronp78]

What do you think about this?

Next time (likely tomorrow) that she emails me and says what a great time she had with me and wants to see me again, etc., I just say "OK"

Nothing more. And then go screw this other girl

 

[ronp78]

Ah, you ask why? She is a WOMAN! Fuk mate - I have to be direct - have you read Rollo's "Iron Rules" or Pooks "Poon Commandments".

No, where do I find those?

 

[Zunder]

No, where do I find those?

DJ Bible, or just do a search.

You for real mate, or taking the pi$$?

Others will not be so easy on you as me. Be prepared. But you will learn LOTS if you take their advice.

Now, go read Pook and Rollo. Then come back.

 

[dark god]

Went to dinner and a movie for our third date. I picked her up from her hair appointment and she looked smoking hot. Then in the car, it was nice, good eye contact, smiles, etc. Then dinner, where we had good conversation. I held her hand on the way to the show.

Then during the movie, for the first 30 minutes, nothing. then I took her hand. We stroked each others' hands for the next hour. Then we walked back to my car at the parking ramp. We had nice casual conversations the whole way. Then we drove about 10 minutes back to where her car was parked. I pulled up behind her car, and we did some making out (a bit more than last time) in my car for about 10-15 minutes. During this time, i did tell her that I missed her. She then said "me too, but isn't it so nice when we are able to get together?" I said "yeah, I wish our schedules weren't so crazy and we could see each other more." She said "yeah, once I work days (in 2 weeks) I can go out any night."

GET THIS: She knows my birthday is this week and kept saying stuff like "we'll have to take a raincheck and do something special for your birthday". She even says she likes the idea of me cooking for her (which I brought up from an earlier email). But I think it is all bull****. She knows I am doing nothing tomorrow night, and she didn't suggest anything whatsoever. Why after three dates is she avoiding seeing me two nights in a row?

I am sad, frustrated and annoyed right now. I just don't think she likes me like I like her. I think she likes to go on nice dates with me and be kissed, but she seems unwilling to initiate or do anything else.

What to do? Sigh.

.
First off Youre way to fvckin nice. When youre making statements like "I missed You!" Youre just asking to get kicked to the curb. Bro Its only been 3 dates. Youre gettin too mushy too fast. Like someone else said, grab her azz
try to finger bang her..u know typical guy sh*t. Sounds to me that being a gentlemen is getting no where. Lets try the sam malone, dan felding and charlie harper appoarch: MANWH@RE TIME.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

You've been too mushy. Damage control time. The next time you're around her, you should disagree with her and hint that you two would not be a good pair. Though some better than others, every man she ever met tried to sell himself to her: don't do this. You've been a nice guy so far, tbh she probably feels like she's "giving you a chance." Flip da script (subconsciously) and she will be falling all over herself trying to figure you out, her attraction meter climbing all the while...

And for god sakes, don't volunteer to cook for a woman you just met- that's pretty gay. She should cook for you, walk like a man for chrissake.

 

[game.r]

From your description the date seemed really boring. What did you do on the first two dates?

 

[Interceptor]

You seem to be putting too much importance on this one woman.
And you are way too invested in her while she isnt really reciprocating.
I dont know what you want from her, but youve got it bad for her.

If you want to see her more often , then invite her out more often. Dont let her dictate what you can and cant do. Shes the one rationing out her attention. And youre following her.
If you want more, then create the dynamic for more.
If she turns out to not want any, then let her go.



Give her the chance to reject , accept, or counteroffer.

And if you dont want an exclusive bf/gf type of relationship dont do this stuff youve been doing.

 

[OzyBoy]

I agree. Probably moving a bit too fast and she isn't. I would take it a bit easier if i were you.