Explaining some female behavior

[AttackFormation]

I'll try to keep it relatively concise. If I don't mention what we said when we met, it's because we just "met" and didn't converse. We don't exercise in the same area of the gym ever, so I only meet her by chance. She's quite tall and a relatively big girl (I like it that way, ask my brain's sex center why, I don't know - also she's attractive, I only go for big girls who I would still look at if they were smaller)

First two weeks or something

First time: I see and approach her in the gym when it's closing. She obviously smiles back and immediately gives me her number as any positively surprised woman would, I know in advance that this isn't exactly an IOI.

Second time: IIRC I met her near the water dispensers again. I motion for her to come over and hug which she does and I take note of the level of closeness she puts in it so I can measure progress the next times. She seems upbeat and slightly nervous to see me, we chat for a minute this time before I say see you around.

I think it's somewhere around here that I text her if she's fine with me calling her or if she's a text person. She replies with "I don't have a lot of time to talk on the phone, but.. yes. "

Third time: IIRC I caught her on her way out when she was on the phone, we both just smiled and kept going.

Fourth time: Again I caught her on her way out but this time our eyes just met because we were far away, we smiled and she responded to me putting my hand in the air by doing the same but that's it.

Fifth time: I'm standing with my two buddies outside of the gym at closing time. She comes out and I motion for her to hug me, it's more intimate now but not an I-love-you hug or anything. We exchange a couple of lines and then she seems to notice the guy next to me is my friend and introduces herself to him, then my other buddy comes out of the toilets and she introduces herself to him too.

The first friend asks something like "are you friends or something?" (some of you will be chuckling at that line's irony, I know) and we get one of "those" moments when we both turn our heads to look at each other and smile, neither of us said anything. Then we chat a little more until I say see you around and she rushes home to do her laundry before bed or whatever it was she needed to do.

Weekend goes by

I see her in the gym a few more times after the weekend but only when shes on the treadmill. I don't wanna go up to her when shes doing cardio, yet I don't even look at her or in her direction - I felt more nervous than before due to not seeing her for a few days, but I also wanted to see if she glanced at me (I didn't pick up on that though or I don't remember)

I call her now so I can either ask her out over the phone or get a time to meet on the way out of the gym so I can ask her out then, but she doesn't pick up. I try to keep things lighthearted by facebooking "haha, butterflies? ", she replies with "for what?", I say "I called yesterday... or tried to oh well see you at the gym" and she just goes "ok".

I ask her out on facebook to keep things rolling thinking she'll respond (not ideal I know), but she never even reads it.

Sixth time: It's the first time I see her with a friend who is a slim girl. For once I'm in the viccinity of where she is, so when she leaves her friend by the treadmill to go refill water I go there too. I greet her and she asks me if I'm well but more importantly she doesn't make eye contact, doesn't smile. I don't answer her question because at the same time she's asking I ask her if she got my message, she asks if it was over sms, I say it was on facebook. Then her phone starts ringing just as I was about to go into closure on this by saying in person what I said in the text and her friend who's been watching us all along goes "your phone is ringing!" and she just turns and goes over.

Now I called her yesterday, not expecting an answer, and indeed she didn't pick up nor at all acknowledge that I tried to contact her by texting/calling back/reading my message that she still hasn't read.

My questions are:

1) Did this girl give any IOIs according to what I've said?
2) If she did, why/how could she possibly just turn into stone like that?
3) Do you think I'd be wasting my time walking up to and getting closure with this girl regarding whether she's still interested or not because she already indirectly gave it to me, or did the ball just stop moving and if I pick it up I can continue?

It's not so much that I can't get over the girl as I don't even know her and I'm too confident at this point of my life to truly worry about whether someone likes me or not, it'd just be pretty nice to be able to take things from here still because it's always been hard to find a big girl who is also attractive, especially in this relatively slim place. If the kind of girl that my d1ck can actually rise to were around in force I would just go on to the other ones but nope. Girls are giving me looks in the gym and another girl I know basically wants to be my boyfriend, but they with the possible exception of one of them because she's also big and I can tell she keeps waiting for me to approach her in the gym but she's too shy to even smile at me when she stares - and it's really annoying because things would be so much easier if I just liked "normal" girls - unfortunately don't do it for me.

Thanks for taking your time to read bro.

 

[AttackFormation]

1) Giving you her number is an IOI, but not a strong one in this day and age. Any other IOI's could just as easily be politeness.
2) She never had real interest, and she was likely musing about her weekend with some other guy.
3)Yes.

Thanks for replying, that's what I thought too.

I don't get it... I get looks from all these girls and a girl I haven't even met yet wants me to come over and fvck her into a relationship, but the woman that *I* want and confidently approach fizzles me out. It's kind of frustrating that it seems like with some women you can't go wrong, they just seem to want your d1ck in them after the easiest sweet talk you could pull or just confirming that you have a pulse and aren't a psychopath, but with others you can't go right and all you can really do is just put the odds in your favor.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thanks for the reply.

I think I'll use this as a progress log. Caught each other in the gym yesterday:

Seventh time: I was washing my hands at the water dispensers as she comes down around the corner, she's on the phone. I glance at her but she doesn't see me. Then she looks up and I can tell she saw me and is now looking at me, so I look up at her too. Her eye contact is steady and she smiles so I give her my devious smile in return.

I don't know what it is but it's at least better than a quick, dismissive glance and weak, indirect smile which I expected to get by this point.

 

[G_Govan]

You're way too cautious about everything. She gave you her number and you asked permission to call her, why?

You're trying to wait for a green light to make a move and just prolonging the inevitable. It doesn't seem like she's interested and if she were, your beating around the bush may have killed it.

When a man takes too long to initiate things it comes off as either insecurity and/or an attempt to enter into a more serious relationship. If she's attractive she probably already has a man or multiple men taking care of her "relationship" needs.

Understand that when you so much as make solid eye contact with a woman she assumes immediately that you want to have sex with her. You talked to her, got her number and didn't do anything...

If you asked her out after getting her number you would've had your answer a long time ago.

 

[AttackFormation]

I asked whether she prefered texting or if calling was fine because I wanted her to feel safe when I did call and start waiting for me to do so.

I agree I probably killed it. My idea was to take her out and have a picnic with her favourite food (big girls like to eat right) but that wasn't possible at the time because the landscape was either frozen over or barren and cold. I don't feel comfortable "making an impression" in a girl who isn't already sold on me by just sitting inside somewhere like on a coffee date.

Yeah, no matter what I feel like I definitely did wait too long in hindsight but we'll see if I can't salvage it over time. I waited because of some ingrained "advice" I've picked up on over the years like not coming off as desperate/needy and keeping her wondering a little, which is just stupid, and also because I misjudged her self esteem. I thought it was lower than it seems to be (ie. I thought she was easier to game than she seems to be) - overall I'm not used to be the one doing the chasing.

If this ****s up more than it has then my other options are expanding by the day right now anyway.