'Excuses' you make for not approaching a particular girl

[Guitar_Whizz]

I was just reading the Demonic Confidence blog, and stumbled across an interesting point.

Do you make any of the following excuses for not approaching a girl?.....

- The angle of the approach
- How preoccupied or hurried she looks
- Her being on the phone
- If she's wearing headphones
- She's eating or drinking
- If she's reading a book/magazine etc
- If she's studying/doing homework
- You've already walked past her so you think you've missed your chance
- If she's with a guy
- If there are people nearby who could listen to you when you approach
- If she's with a friend/family member/in a group etc
- You believe she's 'out of your league'/her looks intimidate you
- You're not looking your best because your hair got blown about in the wind (or something equally irrational)
- You're 'not in the mood' today
- You 'can't think of anything to open with'
- You visualise her rejecting you

....etc etc. I know I've been guilty of these lame excuses at various times, but when you stop and think about it, you realise they are all irrational excuses. The 'excuses' listed above seem to be universal amongst a lot of learner PUAs, so let's discuss ways to deal with them.

 

[Just Another Guy....]

The only excuse I generally use is if a girl is on the phone....... it's hard to talk to a girl who's talking to another person too.

 

[slitherjef]

Ermm... yup

 

[CanuckinSK]

Generally, the last three on your list are most applicable with me.

 

[Mr. Highroller]

on the phone, headphones, or with another guy

 

[boxingfan]

Good topic.

I know many beginners have this kind of problem. Sadly, I fall in that category but I'm definitely changing my ways.

Come on guys...let's discuss how to overcome these lame excuses...because that's what they are.

 

[KarmaSutra]

My pepe is too small, and my looks & height matter.

Goddamn you have to honor the honesty.

:rockon:

 

[MrLuvr]

Oh, I can give myself hundreds of excuses for not approaching.

- She looks busy.
- I don't want other people to overhear me getting rejected
- She is too good looking
- She is not good looking enough
- She probably has a boyfriend
- She looks too young
- She looks too old
- I don't like my hair today
- I haven't shaved
- She is with her friends
- She is probably waiting for someone
- She has headphones on
- She is walking too fast

You get the idea...

 

[Jukeboxhero]

Well, since I'm new to these forums, I'm going to say about ALL of the above.

Almost, maybe a few don't apply to me. I guess the most popular would be the last three. I'm just not get good at starting convo's with strangers in general, I'm alway afraid I won't know what to say beyond introducing myself, aside from rattling off a few mundane questions and small talk about silly things like the weather.

 

[speakeasy]

Well if the chic is on the phone and you interrupt her conversation, that's probably NOT going to start things off on a good note, especially being that you're a complete stranger.

 

[boxingfan]

WOW,

Well, it's interesting how the power of the mind can be. Again, these are reasons that come to our heads.

By thinking these thoughts, we're already setting ourselves up with discouragement. I speak from experience as this has happened to me many times.

Why? I just don't know. I'll admit that it's some sort of fear of approaching. BUT I definitely want to change this.

Recently, an opportunity was lost when I saw this HB8. It was at my University campus. However, there's no guarantee that I will see this chick again. So, I'm learning the hard way about these lame excuses.

Again....how can we overcome this silliness???:woo:

 

[Obsidian]

If she's reading a book or magazine, I usually feel awkward about interrupting her. If she's just doing homework, I usually feel a little less bad because most people hate to do homework anyway, but still...

 

[YoungSir4sho]

>headphones On
>her Being On Da Phone
>every1 Is Nearby To Hear If I Get Rejected
>crowded Area
>feel Like Every1 Is Watchin Me



We All Stated Da Excuses. Now Lets Try To Solve Them Wit Answers. Really The Ones That We Stated Especially The Her Being On Da Phone N Headphones On Really Aint Bad Excuses So I Really Want To Kno How Do We Move Past This?

 

[nismo-4]

Courtesy of Guitar Whizz:
- The angle of the approach
- How preoccupied or hurried she looks
- Her being on the phone
- If she's wearing headphones
- She's eating or drinking
- If she's reading a book/magazine etc
- If she's studying/doing homework
- You've already walked past her so you think you've missed your chance
- If she's with a guy
- If there are people nearby who could listen to you when you approach
- If she's with a friend/family member/in a group etc
- You believe she's 'out of your league'/her looks intimidate you
- You're not looking your best because your hair got blown about in the wind (or something equally irrational)
- You're 'not in the mood' today
- You 'can't think of anything to open with'
- You visualise her rejecting you

Do I make these excuses to not talk to a girl? ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

Courtesy of Mr. Luvr
- She looks busy.
- I don't want other people to overhear me getting rejected
- She is too good looking
- She is not good looking enough
- She probably has a boyfriend
- She looks too young
- She looks too old
- I don't like my hair today
- I haven't shaved
- She is with her friends
- She is probably waiting for someone
- She has headphones on
- She is walking too fast

Do I make these excuses to not talk to a girl? ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

I always wonder why you have a 1 percent chance of getting an attractive woman? If you approach/ make your move, you get rejected. If you don't approach/ make your move, you find out that you wouldn't have been rejected. In the end, you lose.

I understand St. Elsewhere better than attracting women (or women PERIOD), and I've only seen one episode of St. Elsewhere in my whole life!

 

[nicenomore]

- How preoccupied or hurried she looks
- Her being on the phone
- If she's wearing headphones
- She's eating or drinking
- If she's reading a book/magazine etc
- If she's studying/doing homework
- If she's with a guy
- If she's with a friend/family member/in a group etc
- You believe she's 'out of your league'/her looks intimidate you
- You're 'not in the mood' today
- You 'can't think of anything to open with'
- You visualise her rejecting you

- She is too good looking
- She is not good looking enough
- She probably has a boyfriend
- She is with her friends
- She is probably waiting for someone
- She is walking too fast

All of the above..............

 

[ElStud]

Oh man, I have a bunch.

- She's with her friends.
- She's with her parents.
- She's on the phone(I actually approached a girl in this situation before).
- She's in a group with another guy.
- She's an in area with a lot of people.
- If I'll only have a short time to talk to her, like if she's about to leave or something.
- It's not the right area to approach a women. I generally don't care about this, but I know a lot of people who'll only approach in a certain environment.

I basically need to stop being so REACTIVE to the situation. I want to be able to get out of that comfort zone and approach girls regardless of who they're with.

 

[Stuntmann]

Last 3:

- You're 'not in the mood' today
- You 'can't think of anything to open with'
- You visualise her rejecting you


Although last one don't happen, it's a solid reason for not approaching a girl.



Now, if she's on the phone. I can count on one hand girls around here that aren't on the phone. Confidence, smile, pretend she's not on the phone, approach and open. She'll be flattered that you totally ignored her being on the phone. I even think them being on the phone is a b1tch shield. She sees a great guy approaching her she can always hang up, she sees an average guy do that she could tell him she's busy.

 

[SaucyBoy]

Even if all these are happening, you can still just make eye contact. If she really seems interested, you might bump into her later.

Actually I like having her girlfriends around. She will be very flattered in front of them and they might be telling her how hot you are. Be sure to make convo with her friends too.