Exclusivity Talk Help?!?

[rjames407]

Hey guys,

Just a quick bit of advice needed...was wondering how to move from a dating stage to an exclusive stage and the transition and also the interpretation of what she has said.

I have been seeing a girl for almost two months now and not sure whether I should move in for the exclusive 'talk'. I have been getting mixed, but mostly positive feedback...e.g she says she likes me, enjoys being with me etc etc, but the other day she said that one thing she liked about 'us' was that there were no boundaries to 'us' and that we just spend time together and have fun. I was just wondering if, because I have been a challenge and a bit mysterious she thinks its a casual relationship, or was it a test for me to react with...the 'exclusivity' talk???

Any help/advice guys.....what is the time period between date 1 and exclusivity talk.....cheers

 

[rjames407]

Further to that...she did say the other week...'i think im falling for you'...

 

[DeePee]

From what I'm told, you leave that up to her. I'm in a sort of similar predicament, albeit I've developed a bit of one-itis in the process. However, it all works the same in the end. Let the girl bring that topic up, since you're the prize she's going for. If you TELL her that you want a relationship, she may lose interest. If you show her that you want a relationship sometimes, but then act as if everything is fine the way it is others she'll eventually wondering where things are going.

As for a time frame, it depends on the girl. My girl may be a "good girl" type and want to take it slow. Yours may bring it up tomorrow. The fact that she said she may be falling for you is a good sign. But, she only said THINK. Let her think more of it while you continue to sweep her off her feet, and she'll be yours.

 

[slickaz]

listen to what he said..and let her do her JOB!

its her position to bring up the exclusivity talk.

because the moment you bring it up. you've lost her to her thinkin you're over commitful.

just do what you're doing..let her fall deeper for you..

when she says "I THINK im falling for you..."
it means she already has...shes just testing to see if you'll run when she drops the L word...

and you've done a good job at not running..dont reply to it in future..
smile back and say smtn funny like "I dont blame you..look at me!"

treat her the same as before..
you'll hear the "i love you" combo..

thats when you brace yourself..dont reply immediately with I LOVE YOU TOOO!!!!...just calm down..smile back..give her kisses n cuddles..and let her bask in her need to know if you feel the same way back..

if you feel the same way about her..then whisper it to her..and tell her as a guy it was hard for you to say it but you did coz she deserves to know..thatll get you atleast 5 brownie points for future..

but please..dont assume her position in the relationship..its not your responsibilty to talk about exclusivity...

 

[GolfGuru]

Just about the only thing women do in this world is manage the relationships they have with other women and men.

This guy is good. I have the same exact issue right now as the OP.

 

[slickaz]

then its men like you that we need to put on a deserted island like tom hanks with a basketball each to talk to...

women and the feminist movement is gaining ground and support into making guys of the world think that they have to assume to womens role as well..

as if we dont have enough BS in the world we got media and TV shows aimed at showing men cant be what we're designed to be..probably why theres so many gay ppl around...damn feminists!

i saw this show on tv where out of the blue this dude goes..
"*scoff* Men!! we're the new women.."

im like WTF!!!! are you teaching the kids of today with ish like that!!


**end of rant**
ps: ive had a long day at work and the women here are pissin me off..so..u kno

 

[Interceptor]

I suggest you dont ask for exclusivity.
However, you may let her know you are thinking of you two being exclusive by your actions.
And I am a little worried about how fast you are going?
And...do you really NEED an exclusive relationship here?
Are you trying to grab hold real tight of your supply of sex here?
What's your REAL motivation for exclusivity??
We dont necessarily LOOK to become exclusive. We just realize that our lives are whole Hell of a lot better with a great woman by our side. If she IS that kind of woman.

Demonstrate through actions.

Having an exclusive relationship with a good woman can be great.
But we dont set aside the 'talk' for it. And we dont drop everything we do for one. And we dont 'ask' her for it.

I dont agree with the 'talk' for exclusivity.

If she brings it up then deal with it then.

But if you are 'resonating' at this 'frequency' here, where you feel like giving her the 'talk', you will reveal at what kind of stage you're at in terms of relationships. And to be honest, if she's the typical woman, she will be kind of confused.
Why?
Because most women assume we dont want to be tied down.
And honestly, we dont.
We DONT want to be tied down to a 'ball and chain'. We dont go out of our way to be in a relationship. (And truthfully, if we do, we are actually quite dysfunctional then. Because it demonstrates the lack of a high quality of life.
And it demonstrates neediness.)

And...
we do like variety. So it takes a lotta woman to make us decide "Hmmm...I think I'll stop my hunt for more women, and concentrate on this one here."

So, when we ask her (ugh! Dont ask!) for 'exclusivity' we often WILL come off as 'demanding' and 'needy' and somewhat insecure.

And having those traits are not what we want, nor do women want us to be like that.
So, like I said, if you have been acting all "Alpha" (sigh.....) and then you want to sit her down and have the 'talk' , you've just demonstrated you are not real. You're not really Mr. Alpha at all.

Wanting a relationship is nothing to be ashamed of.
Dont let yourself be shamed for wanting a GF.
But be careful of your motivations.
We want good female companionship.
But we dont NEED to secure some woman just for her sex.
She has to rock your world, in as many possible ways for you to really want to have her be with you.
It comes down to liking being with her, not NEEDING to be with her.
And one of the key things is not to be worried if you may 'lose' her.
Or some other guy will snatch her up, or worried that she will have sex with some other dude yada yada...
if she is any of those things, she's not right for you.
Women know when they want to be with you. Let her decide, man. If she wants to be with you. She will stay around, and LET YOU KNOW.
Let her do her part of the relationship dynamic.
Let her feel femenine for a change, and let her do her 'girly' things for you.
She wants to.
That is a good woman.
She feels your masculinity and she can play , and stop being the 'man'.
She can finally be a 'girl' again.
This is actually very, very common these days.
When you start acting in traditional femenine ways, she begins to feel uncertain of her place in the relationship,and your level of masculinity.

 

[Igetit!]

I suggest you dont ask for exclusivity.
However, you may let her know you are thinking of you two being exclusive by your actions.
And I am a little worried about how fast you are going?
And...do you really NEED an exclusive relationship here?
Are you trying to grab hold real tight of your supply of sex here?
What's your REAL motivation for exclusivity??
We dont necessarily LOOK to become exclusive. We just realize that our lives are whole Hell of a lot better with a great woman by our side. If she IS that kind of woman.

Demonstrate through actions.

Having an exclusive relationship with a good woman can be great.
But we dont set aside the 'talk' for it. And we dont drop everything we do for one. And we dont 'ask' her for it.

I dont agree with the 'talk' for exclusivity.

If she brings it up then deal with it then.

But if you are 'resonating' at this 'frequency' here, where you feel like giving her the 'talk', you will reveal at what kind of stage you're at in terms of relationships. And to be honest, if she's the typical woman, she will be kind of confused.
Why?
Because most women assume we dont want to be tied down.
And honestly, we dont.
We DONT want to be tied down to a 'ball and chain'. We dont go out of our way to be in a relationship. (And truthfully, if we do, we are actually quite dysfunctional then. Because it demonstrates the lack of a high quality of life.
And it demonstrates neediness.)

And...
we do like variety. So it takes a lotta woman to make us decide "Hmmm...I think I'll stop my hunt for more women, and concentrate on this one here."

So, when we ask her (ugh! Dont ask!) for 'exclusivity' we often WILL come off as 'demanding' and 'needy' and somewhat insecure.

And having those traits are not what we want, nor do women want us to be like that.
So, like I said, if you have been acting all "Alpha" (sigh.....) and then you want to sit her down and have the 'talk' , you've just demonstrated you are not real. You're not really Mr. Alpha at all.

Wanting a relationship is nothing to be ashamed of.
Dont let yourself be shamed for wanting a GF.
But be careful of your motivations.
We want good female companionship.
But we dont NEED to secure some woman just for her sex.
She has to rock your world, in as many possible ways for you to really want to have her be with you.
It comes down to liking being with her, not NEEDING to be with her.
And one of the key things is not to be worried if you may 'lose' her.
Or some other guy will snatch her up, or worried that she will have sex with some other dude yada yada...
if she is any of those things, she's not right for you.
Women know when they want to be with you. Let her decide, man. If she wants to be with you. She will stay around, and LET YOU KNOW.
Let her do her part of the relationship dynamic.
Let her feel femenine for a change, and let her do her 'girly' things for you.
She wants to.
That is a good woman.
She feels your masculinity and she can play , and stop being the 'man'.
She can finally be a 'girl' again.
This is actually very, very common these days.
When you start acting in traditional femenine ways, she begins to feel uncertain of her place in the relationship,and your level of masculinity.

Couldn't add anything to this if I tried. This is simply perfection.