Ex of 1.5 years suddenly turns up at my house in the middle of this night!

[Duracell_Bunny]

I thought I was over this but its knocked me slightly. Now I think it appears she may have been stalking me.

Right, she was my first LTR. A fugly but fun chick with a body of a 10.

Basically turned out to be toxic, she kept contact with her ex at that time. Wether she cheated or not she LJBF'd me - I cut contact completely moved on and now have a better quality of life and grown as a person.

About 2am this morning, my doorbell kept ringin over and over... I answered a bit carefully thinking theres a chance it could be someone I know living in the area needing help. Nope, turns out to be the ex! Last time I saw her was about 18 months ago.

The whole thing felt very surreal, I havn't spoke to her since I cut contact. She was all "Have you got a minute, I really need to come in , please". I didn't let her, she then came out with all this crap about how sorry she is and all this bull**** about how she was in the wrong etc. etc. etc. I did nothing more than keep my arms folded with single answers like "so" and "not really" (I was actually checking how dammed stunning that body was wanting to bang her, she clearly had just been on a night out and got to my place by taxi).

Then she scarred the crap outta me saying things like how she's seen me parked up at work during the day (way out of her way) and how she's seen me driving around in my new car, then asking questions about things I did after we never spoke, like I joined a gym (for the first time) she was asking how am I getting on there... WTF!!!!

She kept placing her hand on my arm, eventually when she said "If you see me around, you will come and talk won't you" at which point I responded with "I don't think so!" closed the door and locked it. Yep, she was on the driveway having to find her way home.

All those old feelings came back, I keep telling myself she's all low quality etc. and not worth my time. Wether it was that stunning body that sent all my harmones going or maybe I'm just not over her its really ****ed me up.

If I wasn't in a LTR with a quality chick right now I would have proberbly took her in the house and been pathetic by trying to get her to stay over. It was so hard to ressist, my current g/f was working the nightshift.

I'm glad I've left my ego and dignity together, but all today I can't stop thinking of my ex. I was at the gym earlier then for some reason found myself daydreaming while there was a barbell on my shoulders ready to finish my set of squats.

I have to admit - my feelings seem stronger for my ex than my current g/f. Why???

I really wanted to bang her last night. Am glad to to fact its obvious she doesn't have my number anymore so theres no way she will contact again - thats if she still hasn't been driving around after my car.

Do you think its best not to tell my current g.f? She called earlier today and sensed something was up, I just told her I over did it at the gym and feel tired. Im kinda worried that if my ex has been seeing me out and about (yet I havn't seen her) that she may know of the car my current g.f has.

Has anyone had this happen to them? Will this just pass over in a few days so I can just carry on with my life, without pondering over the past and get this physco ***** out of my head.

 

[CuriousGirl]

I've seen this kind of thing with a few of my guy mates, they get a little mini obsession over a girl, could last a week or a month or whatever. If you'd have slept with her there and then you probably wouldn't be thinking about her now, the frustration would be out of your system. However you couldn't do that because you have a (better) gf, and quite rightly, it also may well be different because you have a past with your ex so it may not go out of your system just like that.

There are reasons why you split and most likely they won't have changed, it's just irrational feelings/hormones/memories that are blurring your vision right now, A LOT of people go through this blip, ex sex tends to only cause trouble. If you've got a good thing going with a good girl then don't **** it up for your ex who, from what you said (though I confess I only flitted my eyes over it) sounds like bad news.

Also, the feelings will probably pass soon enough.

 

[sexysuave]

Yes, this is not too uncommon. I've had a few of my exes randomly contact me out of nowhere, especially if you've been with her for a little while.

First of all, you were wondring if you should tell your girl. DO NOT. Do her a favor (and your self) and don't tell her sh*t. She will just start wondering and worrying and before you know she is saying to her self "did he really slam the door on her? or did he slam her?" lol, "did he maybe let her come in, and had sex with her, and now he is telling me he didn't do anything", I mean, a MILLION scenarios will start running through her head and you will just put both of you guys through unnecessary pain.

You said you didn't do anything, so just leave it at that man. And those feelings are TEMPORARY, trust me. Hell, you spent a year and a half with the chick, yea if you run across her you might start thinking about old times and this and that, but the crazy thing is that for the most part people just tend to remember the good.

As curious girl said, had you went back to her, you would have remembered why you guys broke up. My advice, just forget about this, don't say anything and in a week or so you'll be back to normal.

What you can do, and I tell many guys to do this, when you're dating a girl, keep a file where you write down all the bad sh*t that happens in a relationship,, I don't care what it is, but you know, some of the semi-major things that irritate the crap outta you. The big fights you guys have where she is clearly in the wrong, I mean, anything like that, write it down, but do not focus on reading it while you're still with her... this is your insurance policy IF/WHEN you guys break up... anytime you start having doubts, or start being week and feel like going back to her, whip out this file and read ALL of the reasons why it wasn't working out while you were together.

This will help you put things in perspective and remind of bad sh*t to go along with the good that your brain is giving you. This has helped me in the past when my ex of 6 years kept trying to get back with me. If I ever started feeling like, "maybe I should talk to her when she calls next time", I would just go look at my old file, and be like "ohhh, ok, yeah,, no thanks... " :yes:

Just a suggestion for future, but yeah, you did the right things, you've been there and done that, there is a reason it didnt' work out, don't say anything to your current girl as you will only complicate things and put her through unnecessary pain (you didn't do anything with this girl, so leave it at that)..

And shortly, you will be GOOD... it might take a few days or maybe a week or so, but you will be back to normal.. it's true, "out of sight, or of mind"...

 

[AlexDP]

She didn't contact you for 18 months. Now she's bored and wants your attention. Tell her you will call the cops the next time she is on your property. You mentioned she's a toxic person and from her recent behaviour she sure sounds like someone who you can do without.

 

[Alle_Gory]

She didn't contact you for 18 months. Now she's bored and wants your attention. Tell her you will call the cops the next time she is on your property. You mentioned she's a toxic person and from her recent behaviour she sure sounds like someone who you can do without.

and a stalker.