Ex is pregnant...feeling the oneitis...

[Fixmylife]

So here's the deal guys...I dated a girl for nine months, she got pregnant, and about a month later broke up with me...we talked for a while after that, then I apparently wasn't giving her enough attention and she changed her number and her parents are treating me like a stalker because I called their house like twice...it's been almost a month of no contact. She cut me off, then sent a message to one of my friends from a fake Facebook saying that I was a jerk and didn't want anything to do with my baby(all a month ago, the last day we talked).

I am having a lot of trouble moving on, I registered for school, have been working out and generally improving myself, but I can't stop thinking about this.

I've read a little on the Internet and they basically say its hormones and to just find a way to put up with it and be a total wuss...do everything she wants and don't care at all about yourself. I'm wondering what your guys opinion on it is...it seems like her family is just full of terrible people and all she's trying to do is hurt me.

Sorry it's a little long. I think I probably just need encouragement to continue no contact. Has anyone been in a situation like this before?

Edit: I didnt mention this, but I do plan to be a part of the Childs life, im talking about moving on from her.

 

[betheman]

the baby probably isnt yours, there is another guy involved somewhere

 

[Blackmm]

As soon as she starts claiming that the kid is yours (and she will) you need to make sure you get a DNA test and make sure you appear for any and all legal proceedings. Do not, I repeat DO NOT let her rope you into signing an acknowledgement of paternity just so the kid can have your name or whatever. That will make you responsible for the kid, even if you later get a DNA test and it proves the kid isn't yours.

I work for Human Services and see this mess every day.

 

[Fixmylife]

Thanks for the replies guys, I was feeling really desperate when I posted this...one of my thoughts was that its not mine, or she has a question as to whether it is or not. I dont see a woman or her family treating the father of her child like this...we dated for 9 months though and the the timeline of the pregnancy works out to when we had sex (my birthday).

I was more looking for advice on how to move on and be okay with this...call me AFC, but this has really screwed me up. I don't know how they treat a person like this.

But I am getting better every day...and am going to qualify like crazy before I jump into another relationship...no more psycho beasts for me.

Thanks again, we'll see how it goes. No contact is at almost 5 weeks and about to the point where I will stop counting...haha

 

[sighsigh]

Uh, that sounds like a pretty serious situation. Your first move should definitely be to ascertain whether or not the baby is yours.

If you want to get over oneitis, go after other women.

 

[VladPatton]

When and if the time comes, get a paternity test. Don't assume you are at fault here. There is always the chance this kid is not yours, especially the way she and her sh!tty family is acting. Hell, it's 50/50 if you think about it, and they may know something you don't.

Wear a condom next time, bro, damn!

 

[Fixmylife]

Yeah, I know I screwed up...I was just thinking about this again because I got a concussion at work on Monday and have been super depressed. I was getting all motivated again to go out and meet new girls, but have a splitting headache and can barely walk straight...just another set back.

At this point I will definately be getting the test either way...we were pretty serious and I probably would have married her (dodged a bullet there...)

It would suck if she had cheated on me, but we were still together for 6 weeks or so after she got pregnant, I could never quite trust her.

So I suppose the general concensus is don't talk to her, don't make any effort and move on? The baby is due in march, I'd just like to know what is going on...I also don't know what to do about rumor control, she's gonna play the victim either way...it's just bull****...

 

[betheman]

the more/stronger the rumours and sh!t she spreads the more likely it is that something shady is going on in the background, make sure you get the test. gte on with your life, hold your head high and if anyone asks about the baby, you tell them your waiting until the paternity test, thats all.

 

[Fixmylife]

I am getting really depressed about it again...I feel like it's mine and despite how she treated me I want to make contact...any more solid tips for moving on? I'm barely been able to look at other girls or think about anything else...I'm really messed up.

It just sucks to be in another mess I guess...second girlfriend ever, maybe it gets easier with time and more practice.

 

[Down Low]

Take it from a brother who's been there: she pushed you out of her life b'cuz you're in the way of her attempts to snare another man IF NOT SEVERAL OTHER MEN. In my case, I wasn't the baby daddy, and she just flat lied to me during the pregnancy about the number of months along she supposedly was. Only after the birth did she rub my nose in the fact that it couldn't have been mine.

If she pushes you away, you're not the father. You were just jealousy bait, or she used you for sex while she was carrying the kid of another man who correctly dumped the evil slvt. Or worse. She could have been doing random bar pickups three at a time and doesn't know or care who's the father. Stop rationalizing her bad behavior as being "just hormones." Stop pretending that you can be in "the kid's life but not the mother's." Be grateful that the ugly cvnt dumped you first, and let her "win" by now sulking away, crying about your tremendous loss of her filthy slit and it's bastard spawn. Damn man! Imagine how depressed you would be if you got tricked into a lifelong misery of association with this lying, cheating, degenerate wh0re.

You need a cold slap in the face and a kick in the pants. This b1tch is a fvcking hurricane, bringing tons of trouble to every man she visits. Get to fvck away from the storm path and get to work rebuilding your life. There's no way you can fix that disaster-b1tch. Stop worrying about her problems and worry about your own problems instead.

 

[Fixmylife]

Haha...thanks Down Low...seriously! You weren't the first to say the kid is not mine, but definately the strongest. The harsh words and characterizing her as a giant slut and terrible person definately helps...it's time to move on and ready to talk to the next hot girl I see and get laid (maybe not that far yet, but I did need a kick in the pants). At this point I'm accepting that she was probably cheating on me either way...no one would treat the father of their child like this...and I'm a damn good guy. And if she has no doubt that its mine, well...shes still being a manipulative terrible person about it...she treated me like trash for at least two months before hand.

I'm honestly feeling really good right now, there's more to it then your post, but seriously...thank you, all of you...this is why I love this site. It's a weight off my shoulders, and I'm definately psyched to move on.

 

[bigneil]

I always found that her becoming pregnant cured my oneitis.

Know that even if it's not yours, if you're there at the hospital when it's born and you sign something you are accepting responsibility for it - there is a no bastard law and the state wants some man's life to be ruined for every child born.

 

[AlexDP]

Can someone please knock up bigneil's stripper then?

 

[sighsigh]

Um, I'm surprised no one has said this, but... maybe it's not the best idea to sour and shut off your relations with the potential mother of your potential child? If the child is yours and you want to be involved in his/her life, then this woman is someone you will have to deal with for a looong time to come.

By all means, move on with your love life. But I think that should be the least of your worries at the moment. For god's sake, find out who the father is so you can get some closure.

Do you even know what she plans to do with the child? If the baby is due in March, then I believe the option for abortion is still there? Or maybe she will put it up for adoption?

 

[Alvafe]

Um, I'm surprised no one has said this, but... maybe it's not the best idea to sour and shut off your relations with the potential mother of your potential child? If the child is yours and you want to be involved in his/her life, then this woman is someone you will have to deal with for a looong time to come.

By all means, move on with your love life. But I think that should be the least of your worries at the moment. For god's sake, find out who the father is so you can get some closure.

Do you even know what she plans to do with the child? If the baby is due in March, then I believe the option for abortion is still there? Or maybe she will put it up for adoption?

yes and no, most of case if she already is shutting him off, when she is preg chances are far the kid is not his, also note if the woman don't want him get close to the kid she can do, even more with facebook and all I saw cases when teh dude was dating a woman then hi ex used some things from the date facebook in such way she looked like a bad example/influence over the kid so pretty much all visits was only one time a week at her house and he had to go alone.

first deal here is, DNA test, if she complain make the guilty trip and all she IS hidding something, shuting her off now will save his ass in the long run.

myself I run from woman with child, its you ahve the obrigation without having the fun first, so sorry you feel like he should try to get close to her, but having a child shouldn't be used as a thing to make him stay with her.
if she abort the kid, better for him, adoption she can't without the father consent and he can go after the kid later if he want, but why do that?

I know some says its a life and all that talk, but really its a cost so unless you are really wanting to spread your seeds over the land I don't see a reason to have kids.

 

[Fixmylife]

Um, I'm surprised no one has said this, but... maybe it's not the best idea to sour and shut off your relations with the potential mother of your potential child? If the child is yours and you want to be involved in his/her life, then this woman is someone you will have to deal with for a looong time to come.

By all means, move on with your love life. But I think that should be the least of your worries at the moment. For god's sake, find out who the father is so you can get some closure.

Do you even know what she plans to do with the child? If the baby is due in March, then I believe the option for abortion is still there? Or maybe she will put it up for adoption?

First off all, she soured, shut off all relations, changed her number and then her mother threatened a restraining order...(with no just cause...)

She plans to keep it, but how am I supposed to find out if it's mine if it doesn't get born until March? I'm pretty set on the fact that she broke up with me because she has doubts that it's mine, or that she had someone else to date(which is also a deal breaker for me.) She cut me off because I apparently wasn't being a very supportive "boyfriend" after she broke up with me. Closure would be awesome...

 

[bigneil]

Can someone please knock up bigneil's stripper then?

Every man tries without being told.

I think AlexDP has her cell phone programmed to update every time I post here.

 

[AlexDP]

Every man tries without being told.

I think AlexDP has her cell phone programmed to update every time I post here.

As she's a stripper, it is likely that thousands of men screw her on a regular basis.

 

[bigneil]

As she's a stripper, it is likely that thousands of men screw her on a regular basis.

Thousands of men. On a regular basis. If anyone needed anymore proof that AlexDP is out of touch with reality, here it is.

 

[AlexDP]

Thousands of men. On a regular basis. If anyone needed anymore proof that AlexDP is out of touch with reality, here it is.

I bet she's swallowing someone's semen right now.