Ex is moving out of town

[051AV]

We haven't spoken in two years she's moving to another town with the guy she's with, she is a BPD, I don't know why the guy she's with hasn't realized she's killing him. Living together full time will finish him off for sure I won't be surprised to hear through the grapevine of friends he's either dead or landed in the hospital.

When I went to his town before the holidays to go do some errands and see some friends I seen him he wouldn't talk to me too ashamed of what he looks like. As I've said before he's 34 at most and looks 50. I don't know why he would put himself through what he's going through, now he's letting her move in full time he's resisted for her to do so for 3 years. The man doesn't know how to say no or he's one AFC, why do guys put them through the misery. He must look in the mirror to see how awful he looks he didn't look that way before her he was proud of the way he looked. They never could live together they drove each other nuts she even said to me he stresses her out mentally. He has a really violent temper I see him losing it she may even end up dead which I don't want to see. He will lose his temper and hit her, I know she's had bruises she hid from me I asked her about them.

I'm glad she's out of my life I wouldn't ever get involved with a girl that uses Zoloft and Ritalin she's on both. The side effects of the meds cause her issues, they make her sick it was hard to deal with, he mood really fluctuates, you can tell when the meds are wearing off. I knew she took pills I found out what she was taking I searched the net. If she has to ever get off Zoloft the withdrawl symptoms are nasty I wouldn't want to be around for that. The meds affected her sexual desire it was next to nothing.

I know where she's going to be working I don't see her lasting very long she's going to end up quitting or be very miserable. The people that work there know her reputation they don't like her, they will make her life miserable to get rid of her. She can't handle stress, she's taken on a fairly high stress position I see her having a break down. I put her in stressful situations when she worked with me she was scared she looked me in the eyes I could tell she was saying don't do that again.

I don't know why it bothers me she's moving away I'm glad she's out of my life I do miss her at times but in the most part my life is better with out her. She put way too much stress in my life she was hard to handle. Being with a girl that has mental health problems brings a lot of issues to a relationship. She will never change she's on antidepressant drugs for the rest of her life.

 

[Dingo]

WHY THE **** DO YOU CARE ?!

LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE.... THE HELL WITH HERS...

 

[bigneil]

God help the OP if he still cares after 2 years. I'll assume he is 19.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Dude id give a nut to be in your spot.

I worry about my ex moving out of town
With another guy while having a 2 year old son she would tear away from me.

Imagine a shtty step dad beating your ex while he gets some licks in on your own offspring in some far away place.

Breakups with no kids are cake man!
Some reads that really helped me..

The rational male
David deida
Robert Glover.. no more mr nice guy
Wild at heart
Read crazy war stories and stay far away from that woman. Contact is hopeless

 

[051AV]

Ya no kids thankfully she never wanted kids I didn't either. I've moved on with my life ya I think about her time to time but all I have to do is think about the bull**** she created in my life that changes things. I'm around healthy non BPD women again, trust me BPD women can scar a man for life its made me a little jaded I'm a lot more cautious when I approach women.

Even thou her and I don't speak and ya she's a BPD I still don't ever want to see her get physically hurt, I know what kind of temper the man has. Her moving in will push him to the breaking point. He's a few bricks short of a load, I've seen him go mental at a blink of an eye, calm to rage in a split second. I never could trust him but he knew if I took a swing at him he would be hurting, don't fvck with a guy that has big hands that make big fists.

All I don't want to see is her getting her BPD or not she's still a human being, when I was with her I did see some feelings and emotions she's not totally a cold hearted robot.

 

[xstang77]

She clearly didn't put you through the full bpd swing if you care in any way that she's dead or alive. I'm not being a **** but if yours did the crap mine did to me you'd laugh crazily if she was struck by lighting. My bpd carousel hoped to an ex again 2 weeks after sleeping with me and telling me I was the love of her life and how she wishes we were still engaged the day before. I laughed when she posted that she loves him, knowing she has just dealt him the kiss of bpd death.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

These tricky oneitus feelings are a moutherfcker man, you can get them for chicks you havnt even dated/fxked and still be miserable in life for along damn time. imo theyre just a symptom for a bigger issue and handled right is just anther oppurtunity to grow into an emotional tougher man!!

I have learned along.time ago some gurls simply get off on dating bizzarly fcked up guys. Herione addicts, drunks, cheaters you name it,

 

[Polysix]

Even thou her and I don't speak and ya she's a BPD I still don't ever want to see her get physically hurt, I know what kind of temper the man has. Her moving in will push him to the breaking point. He's a few bricks short of a load, I've seen him go mental at a blink of an eye, calm to rage in a split second. I never could trust him but he knew if I took a swing at him he would be hurting, don't fvck with a guy that has big hands that make big fists.

Man, let me tell you something: Her f<->cked up disease will get the worst out of him and she'll love it, because she loves to abuse and to get abused/ used. It is what she thinks and feels what love is or should be, her kind of love, learned as a child. It is sad but it is what it is and maybe it's only sad for you, because she doesn't know better and never will. You feel compassion for her, but she can only feels compassion for herself, because she is so absorbed in her inner pain. Accept it. Move on, don't be so controlling, like a poor Nice Guy! Why don't you realise that she is still playing games with you after 2 years? She plays with your empathy, but has none for you. Damsel in distress... Wake up!

 

[051AV]

She clearly didn't put you through the full bpd swing if you care in any way that she's dead or alive. I'm not being a **** but if yours did the crap mine did to me you'd laugh crazily if she was struck by lighting. My bpd carousel hoped to an ex again 2 weeks after sleeping with me and telling me I was the love of her life and how she wishes we were still engaged the day before. I laughed when she posted that she loves him, knowing she has just dealt him the kiss of bpd death.

She put me through the BPD ringer she wanted to see me pay for abandoning her so she cause a lot of trouble for me at work it turned ugly she turned mean. When I started researching BPD traits the fear of abandonment is a big one it will cause a BPD to go nuts which she did.

I don't hate her enough to see her get hurt, I'm good at seeing things before they happen I've been that way for years, the guy she is with has an abusive history, I heard about his reputation before meeting him he's known to be verbally abusive to women. He has a thirst for blood he describes about killing things like its normal to be covered in blood and seeing blood splatter. If he goes off his rocker he wouldn't blink an eye killing her fur child the most important thing in her life she loves her pooch more than she loves anything else, she would be next. He wouldn't have no issues taking a knife and slitting the dogs throat.

She's such a people user she needs him she can't afford to live in the town she is moving too so she need him she can't afford to live in the same town I live in its why she's forced to move in with him she's going broke. From the day I met her she's a people user she says if I be nice to them they will do things for me. She never used me thou I never let her she heard the word NO from me I wouldn't let her get away with ****. She was manipulative she wanted things her way all the time, I seen her manipulate staff, the management at work, the customers.

She has anger issues just as much as him but she's no match for him physically he's a 300 pound guy she's a 140 pound woman he stands nearly 20 inches taller than her. As I've said she's had bruises on her I questioned her about them she would make an excuse I didn't buy it.

There is nothing I can do it will just bother me to no end if I hear she's been hurt I told her numerous time the guy is a loser she would get mad. Her moving in will be the first time they have lived together permanently. She's never been able to live with him before she told me he stresses her out, she would spend two weeks with him and have to come home. They've been together for 3.5 years and never lived together she's a bit of a pig she's once of the messiest woman I've ever met. He's a neat freak his house is neat as a pin, he's always properly dressed, there isn't a speck of dirt on his car, seen pictures of his house. Her pooch sheds hair like crazy he can't stand that his house is full of dog hair he used to complain about spending a week cleaning up after her spending two weeks with him. She's covered in dog hair constantly their is hair all over her clothes every pair of shoes she owns are full, her car is full of it every where you look there is hair. He's got a pet hair allergy so he's on antihistamines he takes the daily so she can have her dog at his place. When I worked with him he would be sneezing and have a rash of some sort on his face I said is that from dog hair he says yes. He can't ride in her car there is too much dog hair you can't even see the carpet in her car.

It is why I say he's going to snap he's not going to be able to take it her living with him, he's got holes in his walls he gets angry and punches the walls he wanted me to show him how to fix his walls. No woman ever deserves to be physically beaten BPD or not, I would find him and mop the floor with him.

 

[xstang77]

You need to lose this white knight caring mentality. It will attract another one of these pieces of shets in your life. It's tough to let go when you shared great times I know I was in the same boat, you need to understand that all those good times were nothing but fake, when mine almost had me taken away in handcuffs because of how much I cared for her is when it finally hit me that if I don't stop with her I'll end up dead or in jail. Just rest assured she talks endless crap about you to him and shares all your secrets to him maybe that will help, if the roles were reversed she would be happy, she gets joy out of your pain.

 

[GT40]

Wave good bye to her with your middle finger as she leaves man.
Be thankful you didn't marry her. She'll fark your life up big time.

 

[Dingo]

This has got to be a joke....

In the time you are writing all this white knight justification BS you could have been chatting up the pretty cashier at the coffee shop.

For the last time.... FORGET ABOUT HER AND LIVE YOUR LIFE......

 

[051AV]

You need to lose this white knight caring mentality. It will attract another one of these pieces of shets in your life. It's tough to let go when you shared great times I know I was in the same boat, you need to understand that all those good times were nothing but fake, when mine almost had me taken away in handcuffs because of how much I cared for her is when it finally hit me that if I don't stop with her I'll end up dead or in jail. Just rest assured she talks endless crap about you to him and shares all your secrets to him maybe that will help, if the roles were reversed she would be happy, she gets joy out of your pain.

I won't be going down that road again my bull**** detector is set on high I've chatted up women in a few minutes of doing so its nope she's not worth it. The ex couldn't handle being with me 3 years ago I would attract the attention of too many women the jealously would cause her to start a fight. Three years ago I was out of shape lets put it this way I wasn't in prime condition. Stress from work, stress from her I was pretty ragged and tired looking I looked like her current BF. Today I'm fit and healthy I'm not totally buff but I look good in my clothes I don't have a gut hanging off me I'm attracting women that are 20 years younger.

She doesn't talk to me she's p*ssed off that her revenge backfired on her when she caused me all the troubles at work she thought I would end up in a bad place it never happened. I landed back on my feet I went back to the trades where I came from, then I got what she really wanted a place of my own she wanted a place of her own it was a dream she couldn't achieve. That really got under her skin she absolutely hated it when the staff talked about my new purchase. My buddy that I worked with said she would leave the room if the staff talked about me she couldn't handle it. He also said she rid the office of anything that had my name on it. She was in the filing cabinets throwing out memos or anything that had my name attached to it. He says she was working like a dog to rid of anything that would remind her of me.

She's tried to slander my name and reputation at the corporation it never worked in her favor because I was a likeable guy nobody likes it when you fvck over a guy that is well liked. In turn she ruined her reputation she's not liked by 90% of the staff in the divisions of the corporation. Where she will be working now nobody likes her there she doesn't know it yet but they all know me. Her new manager will not tolerate the BPD as the manager knows what happened with me I'm friends with the manager. I'm getting my revenge slowly she's going to end up unemployed and or run out of the company.

 

[051AV]

Wave good bye to her with your middle finger as she leaves man.
Be thankful you didn't marry her. She'll fark your life up big time.

I wouldn't ever get married to her, the time I was with her was stressful enough, kicking her to the curb is what caused all the trouble in my life she went ape s*** and took revenge against me.

 

[Infern0]

It's a good thing.

After 2 years it shouldn't be effecting you anymore. You have some severe codependency

 

[051AV]

This has got to be a joke....

In the time you are writing all this white knight justification BS you could have been chatting up the pretty cashier at the coffee shop.

For the last time.... FORGET ABOUT HER AND LIVE YOUR LIFE......

I'm not being a white knight, but her moving in with a guy that is has a past of being abusive to women, you know a man has anger issues when he punches his walls. I don't like guys that will abuse women I never have never will.

 

[051AV]

It's a good thing.

After 2 years it shouldn't be effecting you anymore. You have some severe codependency

No codependency for me I've been single for the last 2 years, what bothers me is the guy she's moving in with has anger issues and known for verbally abusing women. He's going to snap having her living with him full time she's going to get hurt I just have that feeling. She's fvcking him up mentally I don't know how he's endured it for this long. This relationship is like a box of dynamite she's going to set off the fuse. This man knows how to shoot guns he's practices at gun range on a regular basis I've been told by his buddies he is a very accurate shooter. People that know him are very much aware he's a gun nut he loves weapons and loves killing things. Even thou her and I have gone our separate ways I still want to see her alive she deserves to live her life dysfunctional as it is.

 

[Infern0]

No codependency for me I've been single for the last 2 years, what bothers me is the guy she's moving in with has anger issues and known for verbally abusing women. He's going to snap having her living with him full time she's going to get hurt I just have that feeling. She's fvcking him up mentally I don't know how he's endured it for this long. This relationship is like a box of dynamite she's going to set off the fuse. This man knows how to shoot guns he's practices at gun range on a regular basis I've been told by his buddies he is a very accurate shooter. People that know him are very much aware he's a gun nut he loves weapons and loves killing things. Even thou her and I have gone our separate ways I still want to see her alive she deserves to live her life dysfunctional as it is.

The fact that you don't know what codependency means is a concern.

 

[Dingo]

I'm not being a white knight, but her moving in with a guy that is has a past of being abusive to women, you know a man has anger issues when he punches his walls. I don't like guys that will abuse women I never have never will.

She has made her choice.... and it is not you.

By the way... I'm a hunter and own plenty of guns.... No better feeeling than reaching out, dropping game and putting meat on the table. Nothing wrong with that.

She doesn't care about you.... MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE....

 

[051AV]

She has made her choice.... and it is not you.

By the way... I'm a hunter and own plenty of guns.... No better feeeling than reaching out, dropping game and putting meat on the table. Nothing wrong with that.

She doesn't care about you.... MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE....

I have moved on with my life, my life is better without her in it, like I said I don't want to see her dead either.

I've always been interested in everything I observe people I worked as a supervisor and foreman I observe everything. I watched this man's health decline he went from a healthy low stress guy to a very unhealthy and became very stressed. It all started when the BPD entered his life she started to change him. He's always had anger issues it started to get worse, this man can't control his anger his female coworkers have seen him hitting chairs against the wall. Started stress eating he gained a good 20-30 pounds in a year, started smoking heavily again. His face is red as a tomato he broke out in rashes with severe acne break outs it looks painful, you could tell when there was days his face was too sore to shave. Then was he started to have troubles walking he would trip and fall we joked she's poisoning your food. The coworkers seen his health declining they noticed the change in him as-well. A co-worker of mine said they seen him in the grocery store having troubles walking she asked him if was okay she said he doesn't look good. I've just recently seen him in person he's 50 pounds overweight, extremely unhealthy looking. Its stress causing it I've been there but I never let myself get that bad, he's going to die in his mid 30s. Her moving in with him will be the end of him he won't be able to handle her being with him full time he complained about her staying with him 2 weeks at a time.

The point of this story is I've watched what happens when you get involved in a toxic relationship with a BPD I never let it get to the point I put my health in jeopardy when I was with her I got out before then. This man she is with now is at the breaking point she's going to push him over the edge I'm going to either see his obituary in the paper or hers. I don't want to see this end in violence she still deserves to live even thou she is a toxic person when I was with her she was always trying to change herself she knows she's got problems. This man she's with will resort to violence he's a loose cannon he can't control his anger anymore. The man before me didn't have a violent streak he just threw her out he couldn't take her anymore. She claimed he committed suicide its why they split up its what she told people. The guy she's with on the other hand you never know it could be a knife to her throat, a hand gun to the back of her head, or physical violence.