ex-gf on tinder, need advice

[6stringer]

So, about a year ago I ended it with a woman I was seeing for about a year. I normally end things well, but she had become a PIA and I felt she was trying to play me towards the end, usually I end with NC or as friends, but my emotions got the best of me and I ended it badly- not alot of drama, just pointed out that I think she had issues and etc. Nothing too bad, but made my point that she was being an *******. Since we had been friends for a few years, I thought she was better than that and told her as much.
Anyway, a year goes buy and who is on my tinder page as we speak... her. A part of me just wants to swipe away and forget it, and another makes me want to send some message..she was a good lay, truth be told and I have felt a little bad- not much- about not ending it in my usual way.
So what do you guys think? I have nothing to lose here
ignore?
hit the X button and move on..
send message to try and get another lay out of her (played right I probably could)
send vague response and see what happens
or
hit like and move on and see what comes of it?

 

[vinkoch]

The door might not always be open, but it's always there to knock on. Be chill, like hey what's up how you been. If she gets responsive then say you should catch up sometime for fun. If she says no, just say cool, was nice talking to you.

 

[Fireballs]

If you think you can bang her without getting emotionally invested then I'd say go for it.

 

[6stringer]

Truth be told, the fact that she is on Tinder probably means she's had about 50 c##ks in her since we last hooked up. Considering how decisively I ended it, it feels like a step backward to try.
I'm leaning towards leaving it be.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

If she contacts, you know you're good to go. If not, there are a million other books on the shelf.

Otherwise, there was a reason you ended it. Why revisit an old habit that got boring. Don't bother fannyying about with 'hi, how you doing? What have you been up to?' Just go for 'Hey, wanna go out some time?', just like with any other broad. It would be drunken one nighter for me, at most.

 

[fuko2007]

I can still tell you have some emotional investment/ attachment to this girl other wise you would not be posting this and worried about how SHE feels about how you ended it. You did the right thing ending it the way you did. You didn't bless her out, you pointed out what you didn't like and walked away.

She was like that so you would check out and she wouldn't feel like the ahole. Your best bet is to swipe left "i think" and let it go. Or you will be right back where you started.

 

[6stringer]

Thank you MonkeyKing and Fuko, you are both right.
I do still have an emotional investment but not in the typical sense. She and I were friends for years before we started dating and I have always thought- and in my past experiences it has- that bought the requirement for a different level of behavior. For example I am still friends with many exes with whom I was friends and hooked up with and we treated each other as more than just a "hook up". With her, I found that in the end, that wasn't the case. So the hurt was of a different nature.
I definitely will not be messaging her. Right now the only options are to either X her and swipe left or swipe right giving her the opportunity to reach out, something I've sensed she has wanted to do, but I slammed that door pretty hard in her face on the way out, so to speak.

 

[fuko2007]

Ok say you reach out? Yall stay friends and bang a little? Like you said in your post that's what you have done with a lot of them and yall treated each other as more than just a "hook up". Sounds like some investment involved there to me. Now you hook with this girl whom your still not over and do the same thing. She finds a new guy on tinder and calls it quits with you. You will be hurt and back to square one. FB's are FB's yall bang and go home. Banging an ex and spending time or what not with each other is a disaster in the making. DON'T DO IT.

 

[6stringer]

I headed your warning FUKO, in truth I knew the correct answer, but I needed to hear it.. and you said it. Thank you, truly, you've done a good thing today

hit the X button and moved on. Nice thing, as soon as I nexted her, a match popped up from some really hot asian girl (I love asian women,a nd this one is hot) gonna wait a bit then hit her up.

 

[fuko2007]

Good deal man. Glad you did it. If you had hit like on her you would have more than likely passed up this Asian chick. Now go lay some game on her!

 

[6stringer]

yeah. I don't like responding too quick to a match, so I'm giving it an hour or two before I start in

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

This thread has taken a turn for the better.

Unusual in these parts, latterly.

Well done 6String. Sometimes the past I best left where it is. In fact, that should be most of the time.

 

[6stringer]

TMK- We all know what we must do. But lets be honest, the conditioning into non-productive behaviors, and our emotions are life long habits that we always have to work towards to master. I really needed some backup this morning, to hear what I knew in my mind was correct, but that my heart did not want to accept.
I came here and got exactly that.. And I am truly grateful for it.

 

[jimmy18]

Doesn't matter where you see her - Tinder or Disneyland - she is still an ex. Don't go there

 

[sylvester the cat]

As you can only contact girls who have also liked you , it would have been interesting to know if she'd right swiped you or not. Guess we'll never know.

 

[6stringer]

Sylvester- not really all that interesting, although it did occur to me I had nothing to lose by doing so.
You see, Tinder may not presented me to her yet, or she may have simply swiped right to see if I had swiped right, which in the end would have answered nothing. Or, she could have even swiped right, then blocked me, and there'd be no way I'd know..
Swiping right would have not really revealed much of anything other than we are both curious whether the other swiped right because they were curious. lol
Weird times we live in.

 

[Lotus Effect]

I got to tell you all...

It was a mistake that haunted me for a while "liking" my ex after a year and a half on tinder...

Why you ask??

Simply because I liked her, and never got the match! Which was a bit to hurtfull to the good ole ego!

You played it perfectly mate. Hit X and move on. As some dude beautifully put, an Ex is an Ex. It doesn't matter if you ran her on Tinder or at Disneyland!