Everytime I Get a Number, I Expect Her to Flake

[PepperSpray]

This is the mindset every player should adopt in 2012. When you get a number expect her to flake. This will free you from emotional investment and attachment to outcome.
I used to feel elated when I'd get a number. I wouldn't approach any more girls that day because I wanted to coast off that high. It was a huge ego boost.

But then some girls wouldn't text me back. Other girls would text me back but come up with excuses when I'd ask them out.

At first I was frustrated by all the flakes. She gave me her number. She seemed so into me at the time. Why won't she text me back? This took a huge emotional toll on me. It shattered my ego. It made me pissed off at the flakiness of girls in general.

But experience is the biggest teacher. And with a systematic mindset to game you'll notice patterns in behavior.

Now I know not to expect anything. If I get a girl's number, I don't feel anything. I will keep approaching to collect more numbers. If she doesn't text me back I don't care because I have 4 other girls I closed that same day, and I'll close more girls tomorrow. And when a girl texts me back I know there's some interest and the game is on.

I truly don't care if it doesn't pan out. Because when a girl flakes after giving me her number, it's not usually because of me. It's mostly due to unique circumstances in her life that are entirely outside my control. This is why I keep approaching until I strike upon the right girl at the right time. And then I approach some more to find more such girls.

How has this new mindset helped me?

• It's forced me to approach more girls as I know not to become overly invested in any one girl.
• It's forced me to adopt an abundance mentality.
• It's forced me to become detached from outcome.
• It's forced me to morph into a stone-cold emotionless ruthlessly efficient day game player.

How have I adjusted my game?

I set myself up in a high-traffic zone like a college campus. I will dedicate 1 hour to day game. I spend no more than 10 minutes on any one girl. In that span 1 hour span:

• I will approach 10 girls.
• 4 will give me their numbers.
• 2 won't text me back.
• 1 will text me back but will flake.
• 1 will text me back and show up on a date.

1 guaranteed date. Not bad for 1 hour of work.

The reason most guys drop out of the game is because the emotional toll is too damaging. Their egos are too fragile to handle what they perceive as rejection.

The key is to any player is:

(1) work on fundamentals (body language, tonality, grooming) (2) be emotionally detached (3) approach, approach, approach

That's all there is to it.

 

[InnerHappiness]

Emotions will hurt you, but at the same time will make you human.

I became emotionally detached, mainly due to my career and it has work well in the dating game. However, I am not too sure that I will be happy 15-20 years from now following this path.

 

[muscleman]

Because when a girl flakes after giving me her number, it's not usually because of me. It's mostly due to unique circumstances in her life that are entirely outside my control.

You sure about that? There will always be some flakiness, but over time if you're still getting 1/10 you're not learning anything. You're just a machine. Seduction is human.

If you choose your targets properly, watch them for a few moments to gather information (if circumstances allow), and engage with a purpose vs. ok you're #5, let's get this over with I have 5 more to go, you might actually get GOOD at it.

Build value, just like in sales.

It's a numbers game and this is a great way of overcoming approach anxiety, but it's temporary.

Would you rather approach 10 and end up with 1 date, or approach 2 (with some thought behind it) and get 1 date?

 

[pdx1138]

Pepperspray, that has to be one of the top 10 rules of succeeding the way things are now.

(expecting them to flake after getting a number)

awesome and true.

 

[omega05]

I agree with muscleman. The op makes talking to girls seem robotic like who really sets an hour out of their day to talk to girls to try and get numbers?

 

[bigneil]

I disagree with the OP.

A successful seducer is confident and always assumes the woman is interested. You never want to indicate that you even imagined her dumping you, or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Scars]

I disagree with the OP.

A successful seducer is confident and always assumes the woman is interested. You never want to indicate that you even imagined her dumping you, or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I agree. But also as a realist, the chances of a girl flaking are extremely high these days. I don't think it's a lack of confidence, just simply being aware of a very common possibility.

When I gamed girls in other cities on Myspace years ago, I'd have anywhere from 2-4 on rotation. I expected at least one of them to flake. Most of the time, at least one did. If the first girl seemed interested and DTF, I'd stick with it. If not, I "had to go" and I'd call girl 2. I left some girls waiting HOURS for me to return their calls. Others, never heard from me again. On a few occasions, more than one girl wanted to meet me at the same place. I always took flaking into consideration, and I think it worked considerably in my favor.

-Scars

 

[SamTheHobit]

I've gotten over 50 number in the past few months some were make outs and some with a lot of report... Guess what 100 percent flake rate.

And wtf, I'm an above average looking guy, and I see these wimps pulling girls.


I'm gonna have to flip my game around. No excuses.

 

[In10se]

Same man, try I've gotten 50+ makeouts in the past 3 months and only 5 didn't flake...the rest seem to just lose interest after we connect thru txt/facebook...makes no sense to me

 

[bigneil]

We need to have a thick skin for certain, but it's critical to never convey anything negative to her.

A better strategy is to HOPE she flakes. Hope that she'll blow her chances and save you time and money.

Also, you never want to complain about something she did - that only causes resentment which does the opposite of what you intended. It's better to go with the "reward good behavior, ignore bad" strategy.

You have to hope that she even initiates after a bad date. Women often sense when it's over and don't give you the chance to go NC.

 

[ScottMustaine]

In the growing world of sluts we know today, many girls go with the 'hard to get' as they don't want to be perceived as easy targets.

1 flake is 'ok' .
2 flakes is in my opinion 'making myself look really hard to catch' / not that interested
3 no interest move on



Not many girls I met would give you a number if they didn't like you.

 

[muscleman]

Not many girls I met would give you a number if they didn't like you.

Rationalization again, same as "if she didn't text back it's not my fault". A lot of times girls will give you a number (fake or real) just to avoid confrontation. If you're approaching 10/hour, which is going to come off as a little "forced", well, you can't really hide that. She'll give you her number just to get you to leave.

That's not to say "interested" girls won't flake, they will, but don't think every number you get means anything. About 3 years ago I went on a "phone spree" on Halloween - got something like 30 numbers in 1 night bar hopping. Ended up with like 3 dates and slept with 1. Not worth it - learn proper seduction, there's really no substitute.

 

[Purefilth]

Honestly, I think I could count the flakes I've had in my life on my fingers, I don't see how you guys can get so many... I don't even go for any girl I consider to be less than a 7, maybe you need to work on how you get the number, how you make her feel, , and how you initiate next contact after getting

 

[georgie24]

never fails for betas to crash a thread!

so what he doesnt want to get his feelings hurt even in the long run

he will have racked up so many women over the years that if by any chance hes feeling beta phaggotish and wants to surrender he has a pool of options to choose from

 

[SpazzAttackk]

Pepper. On a more serious note (I just posted a topic which was really.. not-serious) girls nowadays will hand their numbers to just about anyone. And most girls will flake if its just a one night stand. Sometimes you meet that one girl who, for some reason, you get extremely attached to sexually and emotionally even if it is a one night stand. It sucks but just forget them and move on


Going through the same **** right now.

 

[badboyjmm]

he will have racked up so many women over the years that if by any chance hes feeling beta phaggotish and wants to surrender he has a pool of options to choose from

Exactly what I was thinking

Honestly, I think I could count the flakes I've had in my life on my fingers, I don't see how you guys can get so many... I don't even go for any girl I consider to be less than a 7, maybe you need to work on how you get the number, how you make her feel, , and how you initiate next contact after getting

Well I'm glad that you don't have that much flakes, but you are probably the exception. Exceptions confirms the rules in my opinion. The OP might have done everything right but the flake still can occur.

Perfect example, I picked up this redhead from the club, banged her. When we left my apartment, SHE asked for us to exchange phone numbers and SHE asked that we should chill, hangout at the movies and stuff...
Well guess what ? She never reply to any texts and calls (even went on say that I got the wrong phone number because her name is exactly mine...)
Loser !

So OP, it's a excellent mentality to have so you don't get excited for nothing. That way you don't become dependent to the outcome

 

[NobodyCares1]

this whole talk about flakes got me thinking... I remember one girl that I started convo with in a bus when going from a disco... ended up making out with her at the bus stop... anyway she wanted my number so I gave it to her, she even said that she wouldn't contact me, probably because she had and has a BF... I didn't care because I didn't have any interest in dating so much... anyway later she contacted me and we started texting on FB... then I thought that I might as well try to take her out to gain som experience...

when I first asked her she just said "we'll leave it to the coincidence" after a while we got into an argument because I acted maybe a bit too ****y and confident and I guess she expected me to be a nice guy... and wanted me to just be her text buddy... anyway after the argument I kinda betaed out and said that we can text some other day and try it again without arguing... about two days later I asked her out again... for a beer and she agreed without any problems.... so I guess my problem might be that I usually look as a too nice guy when texting girls...