I was gonna post some questions on sosuave requesting some techniques on staying confident amidst the actions of ignorant people that can affect your mood. But as the days passed, I found myself being able to answer my own questions through experience and I thought it'd be nice to share some of these with you from off the top of my head.
Now I know you've all had those days when it seems like the whole world doesn't give a doo-doo about you. You start feeling sorry for yourself and want others to feel sorry for you also. Those are the days that you put up a front and try to make it seem obvious that you are not at your best mood. Then some days, you just don't care what people think about you. These are the days that make you hate people and see the negative side out of everything. Yeah, it's a shame, but it happens to the best of us.
What's even worse is when your day starts out good and something you experience just ruins it for you. Maybe you get cut off by some random car, you stumble and fall down a few steps on your way to class thus becoming ridiculed, or maybe someone decides to make fun of your clothing. For me personally, one of the worst is when I become hesitant at doing things in social environments, such as initiating conversations, saying hi to people, or just the fact that i haven't been social enough can pretty much ruin my day.
Well, I've been reading a lot on Zen lately and I've come to discover that many of the philosophies and teachings discussed within' my readings have a lot to do with finding that inner peace no matter what kind of doo-doo life wants to bring you. Perception is reality and your whole mood is reflected upon what you perceive your outer influences to be. This is important in realizing the potential of your mind. God gave us humans a mind so powerful that it can either work for you, or against you. In this case, I will be showing you some of my tips (which will seem very obvious once you get to them) that helped me keep my inner peace throughout the day.
Optimism
So you're on your way to work, school, or what have you, and the car in front of you is going so slow that you have the tendency to tail-gate. Maybe someone cuts you off and you nearly hit the rear end. In both cases, it is expected that you'll probably haul off and go crazy. Yeah, it's happened to me a lot and it gets me a bit heated, but unless I was really late for an important meeting or something, what's the point? Maybe the slow driver is new and doesn't know that he can go ten miles over the speed limit, and just maybe the guy who cut you off was really actually late for an important meaning. Whether what you think is true or not, it's always good to keep the horizon of your mind nice and broad. Put yourself in that person's shoes. If you were late for something important, you'd probably do the same thing, wouldn't you? Even if you wouldn't, you have to remember that some people were raised differently and do different things. You tend to automatically hate someone after doing something you don't agree with, and so that makes him a bad person, or does it? Put yourself in his shoes. Does a person who does not have table manners make him bad because there was never really anyone there to teach him those table manners? By thinking this way, it's difficult to really have any sort of genuine hate for anyone, unless you hold some sort of prejudice (which is very anti-optimistic). Can a psychotic killer who does not know he is doing wrong really be blamed for what he does? I know this may seem as if I'm going overboard, but I think it's necessary to stress the facts. Take action against the actions, not the person. Dive deep into the intent and understand with the mind rather than the emotion. Optimism is a gift that everyone possesses, and there is never an instant where it won't come in handy.
Modesty
Now there have been a few posts on sosuave pertaining to modesty and confidence. It is said that those who are modest with their skill will flourish. If you've been reading a lot of the tips given on sosuave, this message should have become obvious to you already. People are more attracted to you when they find out about you through your actions (actions with little to no intent on gaining pride) rather than when you speak of yourself. A lot of the psychology that has to do with this idea is that when you don't get the expected external results, confidence is decreased. When you stop caring about what people think of you, and stop worrying and aiming so much for nothing but attention, you will find that people will love you for your true nature rather than the front that you would have portrayed. Modesty and humility are great characteristics, or even better, mindsets that only true leaders can possess. When you can act upon what's right, rather than what will make everyone happy, is something to be admired. Being humble is such a broad topic that I may have to make a whole different post on it in the future, but for now, there are a few things to keep in mind. When you start second-guessing yourself and start choosing other options over what your gut instinct believes is right because of what people may think of you, you are already on the wrong track. If you are a musician, make music that you love, not music that other people love. Better yet, make music that you and other people will love. Become friends with everyone because you have love for people (read Mr. Fingers' post on all-itis), not because you want the fame and popularity. Vote for who you think you should be voted for, not because everyone voted for the same person. Don't be afraid to help a fallen person up in front of everyone, but then again, do it because in your heart, you truly mean it. Be genuine. It also goes the other way around. Don't over-exert yourself when it comes to your talent, because it will make it seem like you are doing it for the attention. It all has to do with the way you want people to perceive you (or lack thereof). I truly believe that true happiness is impossible without the humbleness involved.
Unconditional Love
This ties in a lot with what was discussed in the last topic. It basically means being genuine with your actions. By doing something from within' your heart, which automatically assumes you expect nothing in return, is unconditional. Since this is sosuave, unconditional love, the way people may first see it to be, is not the kind of love you want to focus on when beginning a relationship, but this will be discussed later. Unconditional love is grace. It is creating that special bond, that connection with another person (maybe even another object) through your intuition. It is extreme empathy. Again, read Mr. Fingers' post on social diplomacy (as a matter of fact, here's the link: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=46641). Read the visual exercise that he created to help and strengthen your social intuition. Become one with your target. Lose every last bit of the feelings of selfishness, and focus on your surroundings. This is optimism and modesty put together. Feel what the other person feels, breathe how he breathes. Cry in your heart when he is sad, and rejoice when he is joyful. The beauty of it comes when you start to realize that everyone is exactly just like you, no matter how intimidating he or she may look. We are all made from the same material, breathe the same air, and experience the same emotions. Give what you've got to lessen the pain. Do what you would want done to you if you were in the same situation. No one can see you perfoming your good deeds, and maybe you will get nothing in return, but that's why it is called unconditional love. When you learn to bypass the cloudiness of outer-influences and biased reasoning, can you truly give uncondtional love. Again, it is doing what is right without the intent of approval. Once you are able to understand and put this idea into action, you will start to see people in a new light. Better relationships will form and judgement will be less. You will create that feeling of all-itis (as Mr. Fingers says) and give off that aura that magnetically attracts people of all kinds to you. The boundaries of this are limitless.
Now I know you've all had those days when it seems like the whole world doesn't give a doo-doo about you. You start feeling sorry for yourself and want others to feel sorry for you also. Those are the days that you put up a front and try to make it seem obvious that you are not at your best mood. Then some days, you just don't care what people think about you. These are the days that make you hate people and see the negative side out of everything. Yeah, it's a shame, but it happens to the best of us.
What's even worse is when your day starts out good and something you experience just ruins it for you. Maybe you get cut off by some random car, you stumble and fall down a few steps on your way to class thus becoming ridiculed, or maybe someone decides to make fun of your clothing. For me personally, one of the worst is when I become hesitant at doing things in social environments, such as initiating conversations, saying hi to people, or just the fact that i haven't been social enough can pretty much ruin my day.
Well, I've been reading a lot on Zen lately and I've come to discover that many of the philosophies and teachings discussed within' my readings have a lot to do with finding that inner peace no matter what kind of doo-doo life wants to bring you. Perception is reality and your whole mood is reflected upon what you perceive your outer influences to be. This is important in realizing the potential of your mind. God gave us humans a mind so powerful that it can either work for you, or against you. In this case, I will be showing you some of my tips (which will seem very obvious once you get to them) that helped me keep my inner peace throughout the day.
Optimism
So you're on your way to work, school, or what have you, and the car in front of you is going so slow that you have the tendency to tail-gate. Maybe someone cuts you off and you nearly hit the rear end. In both cases, it is expected that you'll probably haul off and go crazy. Yeah, it's happened to me a lot and it gets me a bit heated, but unless I was really late for an important meeting or something, what's the point? Maybe the slow driver is new and doesn't know that he can go ten miles over the speed limit, and just maybe the guy who cut you off was really actually late for an important meaning. Whether what you think is true or not, it's always good to keep the horizon of your mind nice and broad. Put yourself in that person's shoes. If you were late for something important, you'd probably do the same thing, wouldn't you? Even if you wouldn't, you have to remember that some people were raised differently and do different things. You tend to automatically hate someone after doing something you don't agree with, and so that makes him a bad person, or does it? Put yourself in his shoes. Does a person who does not have table manners make him bad because there was never really anyone there to teach him those table manners? By thinking this way, it's difficult to really have any sort of genuine hate for anyone, unless you hold some sort of prejudice (which is very anti-optimistic). Can a psychotic killer who does not know he is doing wrong really be blamed for what he does? I know this may seem as if I'm going overboard, but I think it's necessary to stress the facts. Take action against the actions, not the person. Dive deep into the intent and understand with the mind rather than the emotion. Optimism is a gift that everyone possesses, and there is never an instant where it won't come in handy.
Modesty
Now there have been a few posts on sosuave pertaining to modesty and confidence. It is said that those who are modest with their skill will flourish. If you've been reading a lot of the tips given on sosuave, this message should have become obvious to you already. People are more attracted to you when they find out about you through your actions (actions with little to no intent on gaining pride) rather than when you speak of yourself. A lot of the psychology that has to do with this idea is that when you don't get the expected external results, confidence is decreased. When you stop caring about what people think of you, and stop worrying and aiming so much for nothing but attention, you will find that people will love you for your true nature rather than the front that you would have portrayed. Modesty and humility are great characteristics, or even better, mindsets that only true leaders can possess. When you can act upon what's right, rather than what will make everyone happy, is something to be admired. Being humble is such a broad topic that I may have to make a whole different post on it in the future, but for now, there are a few things to keep in mind. When you start second-guessing yourself and start choosing other options over what your gut instinct believes is right because of what people may think of you, you are already on the wrong track. If you are a musician, make music that you love, not music that other people love. Better yet, make music that you and other people will love. Become friends with everyone because you have love for people (read Mr. Fingers' post on all-itis), not because you want the fame and popularity. Vote for who you think you should be voted for, not because everyone voted for the same person. Don't be afraid to help a fallen person up in front of everyone, but then again, do it because in your heart, you truly mean it. Be genuine. It also goes the other way around. Don't over-exert yourself when it comes to your talent, because it will make it seem like you are doing it for the attention. It all has to do with the way you want people to perceive you (or lack thereof). I truly believe that true happiness is impossible without the humbleness involved.
Unconditional Love
This ties in a lot with what was discussed in the last topic. It basically means being genuine with your actions. By doing something from within' your heart, which automatically assumes you expect nothing in return, is unconditional. Since this is sosuave, unconditional love, the way people may first see it to be, is not the kind of love you want to focus on when beginning a relationship, but this will be discussed later. Unconditional love is grace. It is creating that special bond, that connection with another person (maybe even another object) through your intuition. It is extreme empathy. Again, read Mr. Fingers' post on social diplomacy (as a matter of fact, here's the link: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=46641). Read the visual exercise that he created to help and strengthen your social intuition. Become one with your target. Lose every last bit of the feelings of selfishness, and focus on your surroundings. This is optimism and modesty put together. Feel what the other person feels, breathe how he breathes. Cry in your heart when he is sad, and rejoice when he is joyful. The beauty of it comes when you start to realize that everyone is exactly just like you, no matter how intimidating he or she may look. We are all made from the same material, breathe the same air, and experience the same emotions. Give what you've got to lessen the pain. Do what you would want done to you if you were in the same situation. No one can see you perfoming your good deeds, and maybe you will get nothing in return, but that's why it is called unconditional love. When you learn to bypass the cloudiness of outer-influences and biased reasoning, can you truly give uncondtional love. Again, it is doing what is right without the intent of approval. Once you are able to understand and put this idea into action, you will start to see people in a new light. Better relationships will form and judgement will be less. You will create that feeling of all-itis (as Mr. Fingers says) and give off that aura that magnetically attracts people of all kinds to you. The boundaries of this are limitless.
