Ever tell your wife/gf about sosuave?

[Colossus]

Im in the process of building my own forum/blog, a scholarly approach to our theme. I havent really told anyone much about it because its difficult to explain to someone who isnt familiar with this community.

I told my gf today i have been working on a website alot, so she asks what its about and why, naturally. Didnt go so well. I didnt really know how to spin it...it just came out like "its about, err....positive...masculinity..". Could not have sounded more gay. She laughed a bit then felt awkward and bailed. How do you explain sosuave or the DJ community to your s.o.?

Has anyone else ever come across this? I generally use the forum(s) for my own private reading and writing. Never really talked about it with people off the boards.

 

[joekerr31]

didn't you know, men are silly creatures with simple thought process. kind of like a dog.

thats why women laugh when they hear you talk about positive masculinity etc.

(many) women honestly and genuinely believe that men are uncomplicated creatures that basically just want to drive a nice car, have sex, scratch their nuts and watch football.

i mean, unless you are wracked with uncontrollable emotions and exist in a state where the world never understands you, then obviously you are a simple creatures - much less evolved than you otherwise could be.

as for how to tell your s.o. about it? i wouldn't. this stuff is like religion - it freaks people out. its like if you told your s.o. that you were creating a web site dedicated to hinduism. she'd just laugh and think 'wahhhh - eva"

if the mainstream were ready for this stuff, then it would be mainstream. women will laugh at you and AFCs refuse to believe that they are living in a matrix.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I told my gf today i have been working on a website alot, so she asks what its about and why, naturally. Didnt go so well. I didnt really know how to spin it...

Why??? Why??? Why??? Why??? Why??? Why???
Why??? Why??? Why??? Why???

... do guys do this? Is it a part of our nature? I mean, we find a good thing and we can't keep our damn mouths shut. Be it a particular barmaid who pours us doubles for the price of singles, be it hidden free street parking near the movie theater, be it a woman you've just met who knows you're dating but wouldn't mind some FWB action on the side, be it a web forum with the sole purpose of guys evening the playing field with women... We just can't keep our damn mouths shut and we have to tell somebody knowing that there would be some type of price to pay if we tell YET we do it anyway, get our nads stuck in a zipper and we run around crying with our wang hanging out of our pants. I just don't get it... :crazy:

 

[Colossus]

... do guys do this? Is it a part of our nature? I mean, we find a good thing and we can't keep our damn mouths shut. Be it a particular barmaid who pours us doubles for the price of singles, be it hidden free street parking near the movie theater, be it a woman you've just met who knows you're dating but wouldn't mind some FWB action on the side, be it a web forum with the sole purpose of guys evening the playing field with women... We just can't keep our damn mouths shut and we have to tell somebody knowing that there would be some type of price to pay if we tell YET we do it anyway, get our nads stuck in a zipper and we run around crying with our wang hanging out of our pants. I just don't get it... :crazy:

Ohhh man. If i had a nickel for every time i opened my big mouth when i should have kept something quiet. ESPECIALLY this. With no lack of embarassment i can tell you ive been kicking myself all freaking day. Thank God I didnt tell her the URL.

 

[JeeperCane]

I know I'm the noob on this board, but I've been reading it as well as

www.americanwomensuck.com

and

www.nomarriage.com

for years. I think they're both great reading and have recommended them to many friends, but have NEVER told a woman. I don't even keep any of these pages bookmarked because I often let women go through my computer to find or play music, check emails, etc and don't want them wandering where they shouldn't.

 

[RedPill]

You have a competitive advantage in life by having awareness of resources such as this. That advantage goes away when you share it with people who are ego-invested in mainstream belief structures - people who are 'plugged in'. Your credibility goes out the window with them. It opens you up to criticism that's impossible to defend because your views are being pitted against the millions of people in the herd who vehemently disagree. It's like those tv spots for Verizon with that dufus phone tech who has "the network" standing behind him wherever he goes. The strength of their ego investment makes it impossible for them to consider your points of view.

Imagine if some politician stood up and announced, "Hey I'm an atheist. You fundamentalist religion types are tools!" (Oh wait, that actually did happen.)

Yeah, it's like that.

 

[romangod]

www.nomarriage.com

for years. I think they're both great reading and have recommended them to many friends, but have NEVER told a woman. I don't even keep any of these pages bookmarked because I often let women go through my computer to find or play music, check emails, etc and don't want them wandering where they shouldn't.

I believe www.nomarriage.com is a must read for SS members. I discovered the link here a few years ago and go back to it quite often. It's a real eye opener.


.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I'm kind of on the fence with this. One of the basic tenets of SS is the first rule of Fight Club - never tell anyone about Fight Club - never tell a woman about SS. You can even apply this to guys too. There are just too many AFC guys I know who are simply unprepared to handle the revelations of this community. They're not ready for the truth. Click over to Love Shack for a minute and you'll get the idea. What's funny is that the select few women I've turned on to this forum are all more agreeable and understanding of this community than ANY AFC guy I thought might benefit from the info here. It's the chumps I was hoping to help who turn into the mockers and ridiculors in keeping with their social conditionings, not the women.

However, there is an inherent danger in revealing the source of you "education" to women, particularly since it will always be perceived as a means to figure out and manipulate them. It's dangerous for the same reasons that guys like Mystery and other PUAs going public with the community is dangerous. It's not the ridicule or the negative masculine backlash, but rather it devalues the information here for men (and women) seeking answers here.

Mrs. Tomassi knows full well that I'm a member/mod here, but that's the degree of maturity we share in our marriage and as adults. She agrees with about 90% of what I offer on here and she's also of the same mind as myself when it comes to advocating positive masculinity. She's even reead through a good portion of the threads I've started, but this is my situation and certainly not everyone's.

BLACK WIDOW is also a personal friend of mine (used to be on my staff) whom I helped get away from 2 AFCs and now she enjoys a relationship with a guy she says exemplifies decisive, positive masculinity. I turned her on to SS over a year ago and she's more of a DJ than most of the guys on the Discussion board.

So, I'm not against introducing women to SoSuave, but just like guys, it needs to be for a select few that can grasp the ideas here. It's real easy to think, "screw it, I'm keeping this to myself and I'll be at a greater advantage" which can be true, but this is short sighted. People I ineract with on a daily basis all understand me as an unappologetic Man, due in no small part to my time spent considering the things we do here. So in a way, people outside the community are getting glimpses of it. I approach it as I do religion - I don't proselytize, but if someone asks me what my beliefs are I'm happy to discuss them. People who are ready to unplug from the Matrix and have the mental capacity to do so will pick up on the qualities, traits and the behaviors a DJ manifests.

 

[JeeperCane]

I believe www.nomarriage.com is a must read for SS members. I discovered the link here a few years ago and go back to it quite often. It's a real eye opener.


.

I wish he would continue to update that site. I tried to email the guy a question about a link he had on there just a few weeks ago, but got the "undeliverable email address" reply thing; so I guess he's now maintaning it anymore. It's a shame too because it's a fantastic site.

 

[guru1000]

Sure tell them about sosuave. Also tell her how your x abused and dumped you. Tell her you really are an AFC but are trying real hard to be a MAN. Tell her you think you know what a MAN is but the site has helped you out alot.
Even better, give her your name so she can look at your previous posts and see what an AFC you used to be.

Give her nothing, she has nothing!

It has nothing to do with women. It is human nature to capitalize on weakness and vulnerability when the situation arises. Never leave yourself vulnerable to anyone. Keep your gloves up and never give her room to be comfortable.

 

[grinder]

We can all tell you no, don’t do it, but just go by your own sig and you’ll find out all by yourself.

 

[Colossus]

I'm kind of on the fence with this. One of the basic tenets of SS is the first rule of Fight Club - never tell anyone about Fight Club - never tell a woman about SS. You can even apply this to guys too. There are just too many AFC guys I know who are simply unprepared to handle the revelations of this community. They're not ready for the truth. Click over to Love Shack for a minute and you'll get the idea. What's funny is that the select few women I've turned on to this forum are all more agreeable and understanding of this community than ANY AFC guy I thought might benefit from the info here. It's the chumps I was hoping to help who turn into the mockers and ridiculors in keeping with their social conditionings, not the women.

However, there is an inherent danger in revealing the source of you "education" to women, particularly since it will always be perceived as a means to figure out and manipulate them. It's dangerous for the same reasons that guys like Mystery and other PUAs going public with the community is dangerous. It's not the ridicule or the negative masculine backlash, but rather it devalues the information here for men (and women) seeking answers here.

Mrs. Tomassi knows full well that I'm a member/mod here, but that's the degree of maturity we share in our marriage and as adults. She agrees with about 90% of what I offer on here and she's also of the same mind as myself when it comes to advocating positive masculinity. She's even reead through a good portion of the threads I've started, but this is my situation and certainly not everyone's.

BLACK WIDOW is also a personal friend of mine (used to be on my staff) whom I helped get away from 2 AFCs and now she enjoys a relationship with a guy she says exemplifies decisive, positive masculinity. I turned her on to SS over a year ago and she's more of a DJ than most of the guys on the Discussion board.

So, I'm not against introducing women to SoSuave, but just like guys, it needs to be for a select few that can grasp the ideas here. It's real easy to think, "screw it, I'm keeping this to myself and I'll be at a greater advantage" which can be true, but this is short sighted. People I ineract with on a daily basis all understand me as an unappologetic Man, due in no small part to my time spent considering the things we do here. So in a way, people outside the community are getting glimpses of it. I approach it as I do religion - I don't proselytize, but if someone asks me what my beliefs are I'm happy to discuss them. People who are ready to unplug from the Matrix and have the mental capacity to do so will pick up on the qualities, traits and the behaviors a DJ manifests.

..when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

 

[joekerr31]

..when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

but the key is to recognize that you shouldn't be sharing sosuave and the ideas on them until you become the teacher

becuase as long as you are the student you will have chinks and cracks in your armor that women and others will attack you through and for which you are not prepared to defend adequately.

 

[DJDamage]

The hypocrisy is that women always leave around cosmo magazines with a big cover page on the front written: "99 ways to satisfy your man- find out the secrets inside" and yet when a man reads something about seduction he is deemed a fraud??!!

 

[Colossus]

but the key is to recognize that you shouldn't be sharing sosuave and the ideas on them until you become the teacher

becuase as long as you are the student you will have chinks and cracks in your armor that women and others will attack you through and for which you are not prepared to defend adequately.

This is true. If i am asked I will usually share my ideas, but anymore i try not to 'offer' advice or insight unless i am talking with a like-minded individual or I am specifically asked by someone willing to listen. Im no DJ Yoda. I still screw up and catch myself in the matrix sometimes. It really is a progression. Reprogramming your perspective can take years.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This is true. If i am asked I will usually share my ideas, but anymore i try not to 'offer' advice or insight unless i am talking with a like-minded individual or I am specifically asked by someone willing to listen...

:yes: There are times when it's better to just nod your head and play dumb and stupid. If they ask for your opinion it's alright to lend your insight until they say "Yeah but..." That typically means "I'm disregarding everything that you just said because I'm not looking for a solution, I just want to b1tch and gripe."

 

[Colossus]

However, there is an inherent danger in revealing the source of you "education" to women, particularly since it will always be perceived as a means to figure out and manipulate them. It's dangerous for the same reasons that guys like Mystery and other PUAs going public with the community is dangerous. It's not the ridicule or the negative masculine backlash, but rather it devalues the information here for men (and women) seeking answers here.

This is key. There is a double-edged sword to revealing SS and enlightened perspectives to 'outsiders'. One- It is almost always met with resistance, laughter, mockery, or a scoffer's attitude, and Two- women will always immediately percieve it as underhanded manipulation tactics or some sort of "He-Man Women-Haters Club".

I agree with the PUA clan going public...it discredits what we are all about and casts the community in a bad light. Books are one thing. But tv shows, interviews, pop magazines?? Bad press.

 

[TooColdUlrick]

i'm sure people on here use a common username that they use on other sites, or as an email prefix. you are toast for infinity or until you retire that username everywhere forever. if you use your real name, then put on the dunce cap and sit in the corner forever.

if your future babe looks you up and finds that you have 13,000 posts on SoSuave...plan on making sweet love to your pillow for a while.

or 1,000 for that matter.

check that...any posts.

 

[Mr.Positive]

i'm sure people on here use a common username that they use on other sites, or as an email prefix. you are toast for infinity or until you retire that username everywhere forever. if you use your real name, then put on the dunce cap and sit in the corner forever.

if your future babe looks you up and finds that you have 13,000 posts on SoSuave...plan on making sweet love to your pillow for a while.

or 1,000 for that matter.

check that...any posts.

Yeah, this is what I was thinking. Sometimes, even if you have the right intentions, it will always be turned around and used against you.

Mentioning this site would open one big can of whoop-ass to be used against you.

 

[Nighthawk]

My gf and the last couple of girls (strippers) I was seeing before her all knew about this site. One of them even posted for a while. But they also knew I was an expert on women long before I started contributing here. Reformed AFCs should probably be wary of telling anyone.