Ever get sick of your AFC friends?

[Alex DeLarge]

I have two really good friends with EXTREME cases of AFC. Hanging out around them for years from high school to college, I believe their behaviors had washed off on me. Then about 6 months or so ago, I found this website and became more Alpha.

I have noticed lately, my changed behavior has been bothering them and they constantly give me sh1t about it. We have a few friends that are girls and I constantly flirt and tease them. (Most of the time not even noticing that I'm doing it. I just like to get a laugh and a smile out of people).

Lately I have noticed the following alpha traits are pissing off these friends of mine.

1.) More flirting and teasing with our friends who are girls.
2.) I lead the group more often than I did before.
3.) I have a lot more going on in my life right now than they do.
4.) I have goals and dreams which I talk about with them often, whereas they do not seem to have any.
5.) I have completely kicked the phrase "I don't know" out of my vocabulary.
6.) I do not beat around the bush or *****foot if I have an issue with someone or a problem I wish to solve.

When these friends of mine give me problems over this. They usually say stuff like

"I can't believe you said that to her, you're a scumbag." (Even though the girl understands it's a joke and she's laughing).

"Oh wow Alex, you must be a real man now huh?"

"Yeah that's an unrealistic goal good luck with that"


On one side, I understand that these friends of mine are completely lost in life, and I really want to educate them with the mentality of inner game this site and a lot of reading preaches.

On the other side, I know that they will say something like "That's gay" and just completely negate what I said. Maybe I should get some new friends that do not have this "we're all doomed!" philosophy.


I guess it works out in the clubs since I have 10 times more game than those 2 guys combined. .

Anyone else on here with super AFC friends?

 

[oneboy21]

Not every one is a alpha male in life
I too have friends who are AFC's. we cannot loose friends they are important part of our life, so in general when it comes to picking up chicks i hang out with guys who are good with girls.

 

[joverby]

I am still a recovering AFC (Doing a lot better after I discovered this site and actually had to realize where I fvcked up) and after starting to rehabilitate myself I noticed similar changes.

One of my best friends is an a LTR so he doesn't really apply(although he is AFC how he talks about girls, he just got a girl out of highschool who is SUPPPPER clingy so it works out for him)

But my other best friend is def AFC. I only started realizing it until after changing myself. How he gets hung up on a girl that he was going to have plans with and tries a couple times to contact her and I have to tell him to chill out. I started taking the lead more in our activities and things we do. **** , he's so bad he wouldn't even join a band becasue he didn't want to give his ex-fiance'(giant mistake) a set schedule where "she could cheat". Which obviously this way clingy / controlling behavior drove her away and I'm sure she was banging dudes constantly.

Now she is w/ some other poor chump and he is still obsessed with her (it was like 7 or so months since they broke up) He was all ****ed up one night and when she was over talked about how they would get married one day and they would be swingers and she could bang other people and he didn't even care. It was really pathetic sounding.

 

[vatoloco]

Sounds like you need new friends.

 

[BadNews]

5.) I have completely kicked the phrase "I don't know" out of my vocabulary.

I guess it works out in the clubs since I have 10 times more game than those 2 guys combined. .

Anyone else on here with super AFC friends?

#5 is an EXCELLENT point. I had never thought about it, and while I don't say "I don't know" a whole lot, I think I'm going to try to completely CUT it out of my vocab as well. Thank you!

If you have 10x the game in the club with THOSE two guys hanging out with you, imagine the game you'd have if you were hanging out with non-AFCs. When I go clubbing I have a few friends in particular that I'll go with. Being with other confident, good looking guys who actually HAVE game is incredible. A good wingman can boost your game tenfold!

I wouldn't dump your friends if you've been close friends with them for a long time. But finding other friends who are in a similar place as you in life will be extremely motivating for you! Hanging around negative people like that ALL the time can't be good for you.

 

[DanDaMan]

I find that the people who tend to gravitate towards me are similar to me in status or value (which comes in many forms), and the people too high or too low tend to "magically" cut away somehow over time. Life seems to have its natural way of doing this.

Work on yourself and raise your own value and you might see your own social circle changing. Also, don't forget that a friendship may offer benefits different than your buddy being cool with chicks. Don't get blinded to them because you're obsessing with how they look in front of chicks.

Anyways, if you're a true alpha, and you're hanging out with beta males and whatnot, women can instinctively recognize the underlying social situation and not see you as any lower because of it. You should still be able to go out with a nerdy AFC friend of yours and be able to spit game at any female just as if you went out with a cooler friend of yours. Granted he won't be as involved with wing-man contributions, but you should never be ashamed of going out with your friends because you think they're AFC (unless they're blatant slobs or disrespectful, childish, or annoying in some way, which they wouldn't be around you if you were actually alpha and had their respect)

 

[oxford comma]

keep the nerds around. they always got the best video games.

 

[maine_man]

I have 2 and they make me feel down. think I might becoming one with my gf. she is always fighting with me over stupid things.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Teach those that don't know, and you yourself will get even better. Instant Karma!

 

[CoolBlue]

It bothers you at first when you are a recovering AFC, but after you have established yourself it wouldn't matter to them.

It's kinda like in high school where you want to stay at home and study while your friends are out partying near the exams. It bothers you that they are calling you a nerd or whatnot. But once you are established with a good job and they are still bumming around they will respect you. You guys can still hang out, but you are the alpha of the group now.

Show them you are getting the poon and they aren't and they will follow your lead.

 

[Vice]

HAHA what kind of "unrealistic goals" are they scoffing at? I'm VERY interested. In my world there is no such thing as an unrealistic goal.

This kind of thing happens VERY commonly when guys get their game together because the ways that they manipulate you stop working, and people don't like that.

 

[ArcBound]

Strong superiority complex.

Also, if everyone was alpha then you wouldn't really be alpha right? Then you'd just be average once again.

You are alpha not in spite of your friends' AFCness rubbing off on you, but because your friends are so AFC you look extremely alpha.

 

[TheMale]

Strong superiority complex.

Also, if everyone was alpha then you wouldn't really be alpha right? Then you'd just be average once again.

You are alpha not in spite of your friends' AFCness rubbing off on you, but because your friends are so AFC you look extremely alpha.

just like a chick will be a 9 with her ugly friends and alone you can give her a 7

 

[loveshogun]

It's always sad when you outgrow people you've known for a long time.

Actually, wait... it's only sad the first time or so. You'll get used to meeting new people and having them go in and out of your life.

If you want to keep these friends around, I would say play it more low key as it's less likely they'll warm up to your new behaviors - in their eyes, you're the one who changed, so they won't feel to keen on changing for you.

If you find yourself resenting them for having to play it cool and low key all the time, that's when you'll have to make a decision.

As for flirting with female friends - find some new ones. That'll give them less to talk about.

 

[Ease]

When you move up in stature as a man and your friends dont respect your new authority, it is because they have seen the old small stature already.

To them, this looks fake and is an act. Stature and authority is destroyed the moment it is percieved to be fake, and then you will get even less respect than before. However it doesn't have to be fake as outgrowing is real.

In your case i bet your new friends will be less geeky and week and they will respect your position more. Or maybe you really are just putting on a fake front and your old friends are correct in disrespecting you!


Society will subconsciously punish those that are week. They will provide double punishment on those that are in a position they do not deserve, are faking or misperceived. ie. putting them in their place.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

HAHA what kind of "unrealistic goals" are they scoffing at? I'm VERY interested. In my world there is no such thing as an unrealistic goal.

This kind of thing happens VERY commonly when guys get their game together because the ways that they manipulate you stop working, and people don't like that.

Well for one thing, I have myself focused toward becoming a tattoo artist. It's an industry with A LOT of competition, especially if you want to be big time. A lot of them say that I cannot do it (Even when they have not seen any of my artwork) and I should focus my time on something more practical.

Then I say to them...

"What is more practical than working in a career field that you love?"
:yes:

I began reading the book "Think and Grow Rich" This past spring, and it has really boosted my inner game to believe that anything is possible. One of my favorite lines from the book that really inspired me to make my reality my fantasy was..

"A great many years ago I purchased a fine dictionary. The first thing I did with it was turn to the word 'impossible' and neatly clip it out of the book."

 

[Vice]

Well for one thing, I have myself focused toward becoming a tattoo artist. It's an industry with A LOT of competition, especially if you want to be big time. A lot of them say that I cannot do it (Even when they have not seen any of my artwork) and I should focus my time on something more practical.

Then I say to them...

"What is more practical than working in a career field that you love?"
:yes:

I began reading the book "Think and Grow Rich" This past spring, and it has really boosted my inner game to believe that anything is possible. One of my favorite lines from the book that really inspired me to make my reality my fantasy was..

"A great many years ago I purchased a fine dictionary. The first thing I did with it was turn to the word 'impossible' and neatly clip it out of the book."

That's it? A f*cking tattoo artist? Dude. No problem. If you're reading books like Think & Grow Rich you'll start developing your business savvy, and you'll start educating yourself in other aspects of business, like effective marketing and reinvesting in your business.

Your friends sound like a bunch of losers whose highest aspirations are to work 9-5 for the rest of their lives and drink beer and play video games on the weekend. Get new ones.

 

[neghitzbrah]

Your friends sound like a bunch of losers whose highest aspirations are to work 9-5 for the rest of their lives and drink beer and play video games on the weekend. Get new ones.

Personally, I don't like ditching my friends because life is a lot more than being ALPHAAAA and getting women. But I won't judge anyone else if that's how they feel.

I second Vice. If you are sick of em' and don't care about ditching em', then what's stopping you. Get new friends. It's your life, do what you want. It is true that the people around you take part in melding who you are. If you feel that you are being held back because you are hanging around these people, you should most likely ditch them.

I'm a believer of Bros before Hoes. I would never drop or backstab a friend for a chick. Up to you, Alex.

 

[neghitzbrah]

Actually, now that I think about it... one of my AFC friends did the exact samething your friends did. He accused me of changing. I went to a club with him and talked to some chicks, whom I never met before. All he did was ***** and whine. He didn't talk to me for weeks. He said that I "changed" for the worse.

The real problem behind it (which I got him to admit) was that I was turning into one of the popular kids when we were in high school. He was also very jealous that I was doing 'better' than he was after a LTR breakup. Now he wants to hang with me. He is actually doing a lot better now. He got a girls number and was all excited over it... lol I remember that.

They can learn a lot from you. More than you know. It depends if you wanna stick around to help them, or if you wanna drop em'.