Ever become attracted to a chick you initially ruled out as a prospect?

[STR8UP]

I was supposed to meet up with the Lebanese chick tonite for a drink, but she ended up working late.

No problem, cause one of my female friends had called me earlier in the night and asked me to meet her and a bunch of friends at a lounge that's right across the street from my condo.

So I decided to stop by for a drink.

I always enjoy hanging out with this particular friend, as we have some interesting conversations. She was there with a girl she works with who i have met several times. Very attractive girl, looks like she in her mid 20's, turns out she's 32.

The first three or four times this chick hung out with us she had a stick up her ass. Always tried to get her to dance in the clubs and interact with me and the group, but she always had a wall up i could never break through.

But the thing is, the past two times she has been around I have noticed a marked difference in her behavior. A few weeks ago was the first time this chick was really friendly to me. She was with my friend at martinifest and for some reason I got a glimpse at her personality for the first time.

So tonight basically became a continuation of the last time I saw her, and we were getting along really well. Had some kino going on, I was once again busting on her and my friend about the virtues of younger women (hehe....she then made a comment about how that makes her want to "prove" herself). We started talking about her having a party, she kept asking if i would show up and talking in future tense about "us" in various contexts.

So by this time I'm starting to see a different side of this girl who I had initially written off as being kinda stuck up and aloof, and I'm feeling some sort of vibe going on.

Interesting thing is that the same thing happened recently with another girl I met awhile back. First time I met her I thought she was an UBER b!tch. Subsequent meeting proved to me that she was a different person than I had initially judged her as. Matter of fact, now I look at her as a total sweetheart. If she weren't 22 years old and living 3 hours away i would be all over that....

So anyone have similar experiences?

Just thought it was a little strange to have misjudged more than one woman on a first impression. I pride myself in being able to "read" people rather quickly. Thought I was better than that at sizing people up

 

[aliasguy]

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Is she 32 or 22? there's a typo in there somewhere.

Did you already f*ck her?

If you like her, you like her. Nail her if she's around and willing.

You seem to be doing ok, man. Keep it up. Don't sweat what you thought about her before. F*ck her if you want to. Be nice to her if you don't.....

(Use her for her friends if you don't.)

Your opinion of her may change over time. This week I want her. Next week I don't. Women do this, why not US. So what.
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[TheLadiesMan]

My ex wife, and my ex gf(s)... all were once ruled out as prospects.

 

[Phyzzle]

Sounds like they both initially ruled YOU out, then warmed up over time.

One more instance of the social circle being better than going for the close right away. Can you imagine talking to this woman for 5 minutes, getting the # and actually getting her to meet you later?

So many relationships, even friendships, are built upon simple inertia. Well, you already see that person a lot. Might as well open up a little.

 

[ketostix]

A lot of girls put up a b!tch sheild but aren't necessarily a b!tch. Ah, the power of SP and and gaming through a social circle. Disregard my question in the stripper thread about what happened with the middle eastern girl. On second thought, it's starting to sound fishy that she's always working late on nights she has plans to meet up.

 

[iqqi]

Some girls are just shy.

They warm up to you the more they see you, and feel like they know you a little better.

 

[Juando]

I've been having the opposite problem:

Women who initially seem warm and available, then suddenly flip personality and become remote, unavailable, evasive.

The AFC in me says, Oh it must be you turning the chic off.
I don't think so, I'm pretty consistent and the guy they meet is still the guy now.

Actually, this woman who I always thought was cold, self-centered, and who I interacted with but kept my emotional distance from, recently did a flip towards the warmer. Before she went out of town we had a long convo and at the end of it she actually hugged me, a first.

Saw her a couple of days ago and I could not talk to her because I was with another woman- but she definitely gave me a "look", like she wanted something from me.

But you know what, I don't trust her.

My instincts tell me that for whatever reason she sees value in me right now but that my initial instincts about her are probably spot on and I would be a fool to delude myself that she is now this warm furrball just waiting to pleasure me.

So I will continue to interact w/her but keep my guard up.

 

[STR8UP]

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Is she 32 or 22? there's a typo in there somewhere.

No, two separate girls, similar situation.

Your opinion of her may change over time. This week I want her. Next week I don't. Women do this, why not US. So what.
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I like this attitude. I think men who approach dating like women do in a lot of areas have the most success.

 

[STR8UP]

A lot of girls put up a b!tch sheild but aren't necessarily a b!tch.

I dunno....I thought I had this one pegged, then all of a sudden the flodgates opened wide and her personality is refreshing.

Ah, the power of SP and and gaming through a social circle.

And the funny thing is, this is the circle in which I feel like I'm "tainted". maybe enough time has passed that the stigma of me dating their friend/coworker is gone.

Disregard my question in the stripper thread about what happened with the middle eastern girl. On second thought, it's starting to sound fishy that she's always working late on nights she has plans to meet up.

In a way I agree. But it's one of those things like I said in the other thread.....with both of our schedules it's hard to firm something up. I think I DID for tonite, cause I used those exact words with her to nail her down when she started to talk about the whole tentative thing (I had initially told her I might have to do something after work, so it wasn't her) , so we shall see.

She shot me a text when she was done with work but I didn't get back with her for a few minutes cause I was out with these other girls and having a good time, so she was already on her way home when I called, and I'm 30 minutes away so it wasn't practical to get together last night.

 

[STR8UP]

Sounds like they both initially ruled YOU out, then warmed up over time.

One more instance of the social circle being better than going for the close right away. Can you imagine talking to this woman for 5 minutes, getting the # and actually getting her to meet you later?

Never really looked at it that way, but the thing is with both of these girls OTHER people got the same impression of them. Another person's assessment of the 22 yr old was that she was a "b!tch". The 32 yr old someone else thought she was "reserved".

And yea, in cases like this it would have been nearly impossible to get my foot in the door on a cold approach with either girl. I doubt that either one of them would even ACCEPT a cold approach from anyone most of the time. That's the impression I get anyway.

 

[ketostix]

Never really looked at it that way, but the thing is with both of these girls OTHER people got the same impression of them. Another person's assessment of the 22 yr old was that she was a "b!tch". The 32 yr old someone else thought she was "reserved".

And yea, in cases like this it would have been nearly impossible to get my foot in the door on a cold approach with either girl. I doubt that either one of them would even ACCEPT a cold approach from anyone most of the time. That's the impression I get anyway.

Maybe this is what a "good" girl is? I'm sort of kidding .

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe this is what a "good" girl is? I'm sort of kidding .

Well, there is at least a bit of "truth" to that, in that I would rather have a chick who is into me but has a shield up than a chick who flirts incessantly, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

And it's funny you mention "good" girls, cause I was talking to the 21 yr old that stayed with me for a couple of days awhile back (the one with the finacee), and she even stated to me that there is no such thing as a good girl when i made a joke about a chick being "good". Most women don't have that level of awareness.

 

[Luveno]

Straightup:


This is CLASSIC female validation behavior.

This 32 year old lady gets mistaken for being younger on a regular basis. She is constantly approached and oogled at by AFCs. Thus, she is quite high on her social pedistal, with a very strong bittch shield.

You came along and did not do this. You made her feel less adequate. You made her feel as if there were better, younger, options. Your behavior had reduced her self-worth. You disarmed her; her looks were her primary weapon.


She is now feeling as if she has less to offer than a younger lady. In order to validate her worth, she feels she must prove that she has more to offer. And how does she do that....?


Sex.


Keep doing what you're doing. Eventually there will be sex. She will use sex to prove to you that she is better than a younger woman at something.

 

[ketostix]

Well, there is at least a bit of "truth" to that, in that I would rather have a chick who is into me but has a shield up than a chick who flirts incessantly, even if it doesn't go anywhere.

And it's funny you mention "good" girls, cause I was talking to the 21 yr old that stayed with me for a couple of days awhile back (the one with the finacee), and she even stated to me that there is no such thing as a good girl when i made a joke about a chick being "good". Most women don't have that level of awareness.

Yeah to me what makes a girl "good" or should I say "better" girl than another is that she doesn't exhibit certain bad traits, with being an attention wh0re being near the top of the list. To me a girl that will flirt and lead guys on excessively is only a few rungs better than a stripper or a prostitute, maybe in some case no better at all or even worse.

I am surprised too at that 21 year old girls level of awareness and even more surprised by her honesty.

 

[STR8UP]

Edit...already mentioned that...

 

[STR8UP]

Disregard my question in the stripper thread about what happened with the middle eastern girl. On second thought, it's starting to sound fishy that she's always working late on nights she has plans to meet up.

Well, I guess this would be as good as any place to answer your question, but I did go out with her tonight.

She called me when she finished work like she said she would. We went to a micro brewery and had a couple of drinks and an appetizer. Great convo......she doesn't drink beer but I was teaching her about some of the things that give certain beers certain flavors and such, and she seemed fascinated.

By the end of the night she had a huge smile on her face, she was talking about us going out of town NEXT YEAR for my birthday, and she offered to take me out to dinner next Saturday, and coffee the next morning

Gave her one of those "wow....oh....wow" goodnite kisses and said goodbye as she was getting out of the car and telling me to call her during the week. As soon as I got home and settled into my chair she sends me a text asking if i made it home safe.

I think I'm doing ok so far

 

[ketostix]

This sounds great so far Str8up. I'm glad yours and my analysis so far has been proving to be true.