Essence of Alpha

[Mr. Fingers]

ESSENCE OF ALPHA
Master Your Evolution

I know, I know. My title sounds like it could be a pheremone cologne or something. Plus, there are already tons of threads and articles that deal with this issue, so what could I possibly contribute? All I can say is that, while I have found explanations to be mentally enlightening, there is nothing like good old-fashioned personal experience to put a unique spin on things. Kinda like before you learned to ride a bike. You had all sorts of ideas of what it might be like, but those mental ideas did not compare to the bodily knowledge you obtained once you learned. The bottom line is that you can read this thread and draw your own intellectual conclusions, but it won't mean a damn thing to you until you actually put the ideas to practice. If you have read my other post on Authentic Confidence, then you know my policy on thought vs. action. Now, if you have gotten this far in your studies of seduction, surely you already understand the premise of social hierarchy and the coveted alpha status we all seek. With all the fanfare/obsession over alpha traits, however, many people overlook the rest of the hierarchy, particularly at the very bottom of the chain, where we find the rarely mentioned omega male. Before we dive into the world of the alpha, let's take a good look at this omega character in order to understand what an alpha is NOT.

 

[Mr. Fingers]

ALPHA WOLF VS. OMEGA WOLF

Another wolf analogy? What can I say, I dig these furry little bastards and they will serve me well to illuminate my comparisons.

FEEDING - The Alpha always eats first and gets the prime cuts. Omega, on the other hand, is left with the scraps/bones and sometimes the other wolves won't let him touch the food until hours after they are finished. He rolls onto his back in a submissive pose and literally whines and begs until he is allowed to eat! (what a pússy!)

MATING - The alpha has his pick of females. The Omega has to resort to licking his own balls.

RESPECT - The alpha exerts his authority over the pack and they remain loyal because they depend on his superior survival instincts. Occasionally one of his ballsier subordinates will challenge him, but he is quick to put them in their place and reinforce his dominant status. The Omega gets picked on by the whole pack and is often used as a scapegoat for their aggressions. This only reinforces his submissive status.

See what's happening here? Omega cannot compete with the Alpha because he is content to tag along for the ride instead of making his own moves. Alpha takes what he wants. Omega waits for everything to be handed to him. Alpha imposes his own will. Omega submits to everyone else's. The more you compare these two, the more you will realize that the human equivalent of the Omega is the infamous and pitiful AFC!

Here are some human comparisons to think about:

Omega falls prey to gossip.
Alpha never talks shít about anyone.
Omega participates in negative discussions.
Alpha puts a positive spin on things or simply ignores negative comments.
Omega lets other people's moods affect his.
Nobody can steal the joy of an Alpha!
Omega actually gives a fúck what everyone thinks.
Alpha's opinion matters more to others than vice versa.
Omega desperately needs a woman.
Women desperately need an Alpha.
Omega reacts.
Alpha acts
Omega clings to the familiar.
Alpha thrives in the unexpected
Omega waits for good fortune to smile on him.
Alpha makes his own fortune
Omega is complacent enough to settle for less.
Alpha is always trying to improve himself.
Omega fears rejection
Alpha loves to crash & burn sometimes cuz it's just fun to try out new shít

I can already hear thoughts and questions brewing..."But Mr. Fingers, these are just generalizations, what specific steps do I take in order to become the Alpha?" Well my friend, the answer is not an easy one, so I want you to keep that mind of yours as open as possible as we delve into the fascinating realm of....

 

[Mr. Fingers]

UNIVERSAL INTELLIGENCE

What is the purpose of the alpha male? To pimp as many females as he can? To reproduce? Of course the alpha tags a whole lotta ass, but what is it that attracts these females to him, and how did he achieve his status? In order to answer this we must look beyond reproduction, for it is just a cycle of waves that pound upon the shores of a much grander scheme....evolution. Take a step back further and you will see that evolution is a manifestation of a higher intelligence we can only begin to fathom. You see, the universe, in it's infinite splendor at some point decided to become conscious of itself. There are all sorts of wild theories as to when/how/why this happened, and I won't even touch that philosophical can of worms, but the hard fact is that each of us is a vessel of perception. Every living thing, from the ameoba, to the ****roach to you and me is all perceiving different facets of reality. We are all pieces of the infinite mystery that seeks to experience itself and in the process, enhance its intelligence through evolution. Our experiences with our environment and each other becomes encoded into our genes over generations and this is how we survive environmental challenges. So if the alpha is the poster boy of evolution, then the real question you should be asking is what's the single most important attribute all alphas must possess? Strength? Confidence? Intelligence? These are all useful traits no doubt, but the one characteristic that makes alpha surpass his peers is...

 

[Mr. Fingers]

ADAPTABILITY

Think about it. A gigantic meteor strikes the earth and sets the world into a cataclysmic change. An Ice Age hits. Who survives? Strength and confidence are not enough in these extreme situations. The survivor was the guy who pushed his limits and kept changing his approach until he found caves, discovered fire and learned to hunt. As a hunter, this adaptability paid off lovely because no 2 hunting situations are ever identical. Man was forced to constantly reinvent himself in his approach to survival because he simply did not have a choice! Modern society has us at a disadvantage in this respect. We have all grown so accustomed to the comforts of routine..day in and day out the same old shít that we have lost touch with our instincts. We become isolated in a changeless illusion and wonder why we have trouble opening up to new people and experiences. It is a conditioning we must break in order to evolve. This is not easy because not only does society function on routine but harbors a deep-seated fear of death. Because of this, we have developed a primal fear of change, for it represents a small death of something we cling to. Many of us are blind to the fact that life and death are two states that coexist within us. Everytime you exhale/shít/piss.. a part of you dies. Everytime you inhale/eat/drink, new cells are born and nourished. The largest organ in our bodies, our skin, is largely composed of dead tissue. So ultimately, we are all walking contradictions of shadow and light. Life and death. The first step to becoming a true alpha and more evolved individual is to embrace the changes around us because they are a reflection of ourselves. In order to do this, we must defeat the routines that isolate us from the ebb and flow of reality.

 

[Mr. Fingers]

PERSONAL EXAMPLE

My whole life I was afraid of change. My childhood was a traumatizing mess, moving from place to place with my broke-ass family, barely surviving. When I finally gained independence and got a fulltime job, I made up for those times by getting a nice apartment and not moving for 7 years. I had it all, a good salary, lots of material goods, and a beautiful live-in GF (HB 9). I should have been ecstatic...but over the years I got this impending sense that something was missing in my life. I didn't realize it until afterwards, but I had completely lost touch with change. Each day was a carbon copy of the previous one and life was a drag. Lost in my routines, I was an AFC living in quiet desperation until one day I just snapped. I'll never forget it. My boss was in a crabby mood and had been yelling at me all day, the bastard really knew how to push my buttons and I let him get to me. I was still fuming on the train as I made my way home, when this old bum puked on my brand new shoes! I look back on this and laugh, but at the time I didn't see the humor in it. I was already pissed at my boss and now this shít happened, so you can imagine my mental state by the time I got home. All I wanted was some love from my girl and a peaceful evening. I should have known better. As soon as I walked through the door, my GF started complaining non-stop about her job/coworkers like she did every damn day and I just LOST it! After years of harmonious living without a single fight, I flipped out. I told her to shut the fúck up and that I was bored with her negative bullshít. The floodgates just poured open and we got into a huge fight that kept escalating until we were screaming in each other's faces. Just when I felt myself about to smack the living snot out of her, an eerie calm came over me and I knew what I had to do. I lowered my voice and said "You know what? I am done. This is over." In the next 10 minutes I packed all my sh!t up and left her there in a state of shock. 2 weeks later I quit my job and went freelance.What a relief! It was as if someone had taken a pile of bricks off my shoulders. And you know what? Turns out it was the smartest thing I ever did. A few months later, the company bellyflopped and closed its doors. Around the same time I found out the GF had been cheating on me with not one, but SEVERAL dudes (and a few girls! ). Made me wonder ... why did I play the sucker for so long? Why did I wait? WTF makes us all wait?

 

[Mr. Fingers]

FEAR & LAZINESS

These are the 2 traits that distinguish the alpha from the omega. Unfortunately these are also the most common human traits, fostered by a culture that worships distractions. Man, I just want to kick myself when I think of all the priceless hours I wasted watching TV. Now, there's nothing wrong with television and other leisure activities in and of themselves. But when they dominate your life on the daily, you begin to use them to escape your own thoughts and adopt a false reality that is tailored to elicit a certain mindstate within you. It's called television "programming" for a reason! I almost admire the evil genius behind this scheme. Our lives become unfulfilled from sitting on our asses all the time and as a result, the promise of happiness/sexiness/whatever in commercials appeal to us all the more. So we buy tons of shít which makes us happy for about 5 minutes but then get bored again, so we watch more TV. What a vicious cycle! As a result people are becoming more poor and dumb everyday. Scientists have monitored the brain activity of people watching TV versus people who are asleep and discovered that your brain is more active when you are drooling on your pillow than when you are staring at the boob tube. Unbelievable but true. It's not just television that distracts us from our evolution either. We all have our destructive habits, but how do we identify them? Here's my personal definition:

Bad Habit - Any activity (or inactivity) that removes you from reality but leaves you with nothing positive to show for the time you have spent in said activity.

In other words, a waste of your fúcking time! Take a good look at your life and pay attention to what you do with your precious seconds. If you want to distract your mind from stress/negativity at least make it a constructive distraction. Substitute Playstation for a workout. Instead of surfin the net for hours, go for a walk. Do something DIFFERENT man! I know that this is easier said than done. Hell, it took a personal breakdown for me to get over my fears and actively embrace change. But it doesn't have to be like this. There are less drastic ways to...

 

[Mr. Fingers]

SHATTER THE ILLUSION OF STABILITY

You can either wait for a day when your comfortable little world begins to smother you and you completely freak out, or you can start out small. One baby step is to disrupt your routine a little. Take a different path home than you are accustomed to. Do you usually take the train? Fúckit dude, WALK or buy a bicycle and take a hundred different paths home. Pay attention to the thousand faces you will see, for they are an unrepeatable sequence. Try foods you have never tried. Talk to new people. Learn a new skill/hobby. These are subtle ways to open yourself to change and become more comfortable with it. Over time you will start to feel antsy in your routines and a strange sense of restlessness will creep up on you. This is good! Your instincts are starting to awaken and the false security of routines will begin to bore the crap out of you. The restlessness will take over and you will feel an irresistable urge to...

 

[Mr. Fingers]

EXPLORE THE UNKNOWN

Alpha's are always scoping out new territory and pushing their own boundaries. This is one of the traits that makes them leaders. They have the balls to tackle the unknown without letting fear hold them back. Most alphas you will meet are filled with travel-lust. Personally, I can say that few things give me greater joy and confidence than my travels! You see a foreign place with its alien culture, people, food and its almost like getting to know a different facet of yourself. You walk away a richer person for it, full of wonder and funny culture-shock stories. What fun! Now, you are probably wondering how your broke ass can afford all this travel, so let me break down what has worked for me so far.

1. Make international friends. If you are too broke to leave the country, you can start off small by visiting another city or state and then work your connections up to the international level. The general strategy here is to eventually make friends all over the world so you never pay for hotels and have a free tour guide to boot! Living in a big city is great for this because you meet people from everywhere. But if you live in the burbs, then it's time to start making trips to the city and mingle, man. For those of you who are still struggling with meeting new people, try a DJ Boot Camp, check out my other thread on Destroying Social Phobias or do whatever it takes to kill that shyness. It is absolutely crucial for you to master your social skills for this. Rapport is the key to your travel dreams. Remember that it does not take long to instill a powerful bond within someone. Using sincerity, openness and humor, you can distort time and make 2 hours seem like they have known you for 20 years. Get them talking about travel and even tell them about your strategy. I told one chick it was my dream to have friends in every country so I would have people to visit when I travel. She not only loved my dream, but offered her place! This was a rarity though. Most of the time I offer my place first as a gesture and they always follow suit.

2. Lighten your Load - No, I don't mean you should jack off you perv. I mean you should start eliminating all the worthless crap in your life! The day after I broke up with my GF, I went through every single possession I had and asked myself "Do I REALLY need this?" 90% of the time the answer was "No!" So while it was totally against my pack-rat nature and it hurt at the time, I threw out most of my stuff. The benefit? I felt FREE! I realized that all those years I did not own my possessions...rather they totally possessed me. These days, I have less shít to worry about and find it easier to travel. All I own are my clothes, my laptop, and a few simple pieces of furniture. No TV, no knick-knacks, no clothes I never wear and no Christmas cards from 1988. The bare essentials baby!

3. Be internationally marketable - Learn to do something that will get you work anywhere. A few examples i can think of are bartending, graphic/web design, plumbing/construction/etc. I am sure there are tons more and would appreciate input on this.

 

[Mr. Fingers]

YIN & YANG

YIN - Being alpha is fun as hell, but is also a big responsibility. You are not only looking to improve your own life, but the lives of everyone you encounter. Inspire others. Make them feel special in your presence. Listen to them with your complete attention and help them any way you can. One thing you should keep in mind is that alphas don't dominate conversations by speaking over other people and in fact are great listeners. In a group dynamic, they are simply such passionate and fascinating individuals full of stories and ideas, that people will naturally clam up and listen to them. Be funny and entertaining. Leave everyone feeling ten times better than they did before meeting you. This has a twofold effect. Not only does it feel good to share the joy you have created in your life, but you instill a sense of loyalty and admiration that enhances your social proof and authority. A great leader shares his/her greatness.

YANG - On the flip side of this, there is a time for kind words and a time to lay down the law. If you see someone close to you fúcking up somehow, you must let them know. If anyone tries to disrespect you, show them you won't tolerate their bullshít and do it without getting upset. I believe it was Juggler who put it best. He said that you have to be everyone's Dad. Nourish them with love and compassion, but exert your authority when necessary. Whether with kindness or firmness, it's the alpha's job to help others learn and evolve. This same dualism applies to alpha's general outlook on life. Be comfortable enough in your world to enjoy the ride, but not so comfortable that you get too soft to change things for the better. Another tired cliché for you here, but it is so appropriate:

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to discern between the two"

 

[Mr. Fingers]

YEAH, YEAH. THIS IS ALL COOL BUT HOW DO I TAP THAT ASS?

Hehe, so you noticed that I haven't mentioned seduction techniques in this post. There is a very good reason for this. I want you all to create a state within yourself that will make you naturally attractive. That state is called HAPPINESS! Granted, there are many other methods to attract/seduce. C&F, NLP, GM etc. are all great, but ultimately useless if the man behind the method is boring/miserable as fúck! Remember in the movie Karate Kid, when Mr. Miyagi had Danny paint his fences, wax his cars, etc. until Danny finally got pissed and started screaming at his teacher like a little bítch cuz he didn't think he was learning karate ... then Miyagi reveals the hidden lessons behind each task? With a little creativity, the same principle applies here.

ADAPTABILITY - Every time you meet a hot babe, your canned lines and approaches won't get very far unless you develop a little intuition. The more girls you approach, the stronger this intuition will get. You will learn all sorts of subtle signals and will change your approach accordingly. Many chicks respond well to ****y/Funny, especially the Super HBs. Some respond to patterns while others respond to raw sexual advances. But ultimately there is not ONE tool that does the job. You not only have to find the tools that suit your personal style, but also tailor your approach to each situation in order to be effective.

FEAR & LAZINESS - Heh, this one speaks for itself. Get off your fat lazy ass and start meeting some hotties, dude. These traits will haunt you at every turn. "Should I go out tonight?" "Should I say hello to this cutie?" "Should I kiss her?" etc etc. I can only help you so much on this. All I can say is that you won't conquer these fears overnight. Hell, as ballsy as I am, I still chicken out from time to time. But I don't let it faze me since I see myself improving everyday. For each time I punk out, I face my fears twice as often and end up laughing at them afterwards. I was inspired recently by a brave approach I observed. My friend from Estonia came to visit me here and he doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. In his shoes, most guys would be real lazy/fearful and use the language barrier as an excuse not to sarge. But this didn't stop him from hooking up with one of the local hotties. We were at a club and he made it seem too easy.. all he did was make eye contact, smile, approach, dance close to her (no grinding, he just was having a good time) Then he moved in close, slowed down his pace, started kinoing her waist, then back, then neck and before you know it they are making out like horny teenagers. She ended up taking him home to continue their escapades. By the way, this guy is overweight and dresses like a bum..NOT good-looking at all! Proof that KINO is the most powerful seduction tool there is. All it takes is initiative to defeat the F&L and then you will be able to let things escalate naturally.

SHATTER THE ILLUSION OF STABILITY - Women get excited by men who remove them from their routines. Every girl dreams of a shining knight who will bring adventure and excitement into her mundane world. The best compliment you can receive as a seducer is "Wow, you are so different!" or "Gee, I normally don't do this with someone I just met!" Your curiosity and sense of adventure becomes contagious and ADDICTIVE. To her you become an intoxicating drug and before you know it, she will be doing anything to get a fix.

EXPLORE THE UNKNOWN - This doesn't just apply to searching out new lands. Indeed, every time you meet a hottie for the first time, you are not only exposing her to your world of perception, but are also exploring hers. People are just as intricate as foreign places and cultures. Everyone sees things differently and this should fascinate you. Who cares if she rejects you? She has already given you the gift of a valuable experience on foreign terrain! Besides, chicks love a traveling man. Having that "I'm-gonna-take-over-the-world" attitude makes them stew in their own juices. Here is a practical tip for seducing broads abroad. If you plan on traveling to another country and don't speak the language, obviously learn the basics so you can find restaurants, bathrooms etc. But also try to learn some risque phrases as well. I visited a friend in Hamburg last month and I had him teach me a few choice German expressions.

- Are you a good kisser?
- Take off your clothes
- You smell delicious
- Nice ass, do you like anal?

Basically, you can get away with murder here my friends! Normally if I were to say this stuff in English I would be coming on too strong. But it's a different story when you don't speak the language. Using these phrases, I managed to enjoy a nice make-out session within minutes of meeting this Austrian girl who didn't speak any english. She was amused that these were the only phrases I had bothered to learn and it paid off big time. Did I mention how much I love kino???

YIN - Women are attracted to status. A man that stands above a crowd of mediocrity. You demonstrate this status by the way you carry yourself and interact with others. Your whole attitude should be that you are the show. That HB10 may look hot and sophisticated to you but you must flip your mentality to see that her life is gray and drab from all the AFC attention, until you show up and are kind enough to let her bask in your presence. Once you get really good at this, you will encounter a few people who are jealous of your great vibe. In these cases you must be the King of Chill so that nothing gets under your skin. One of the biggest mistakes I would make in my approaches is that I'd be talking to a HB and when her boyfriend or AFC buddy would show up and throw me shade, I'd freeze up and eject from the sarge because I felt like I was "caught". Over time I learned that there should never be any shame to my game and the best way to deal with this is to neutralize any of her colleagues, guy or girl, by making friends with them. This shows that I can handle anything, allows me to display my magnetic personality and creates instant social proof. Then I isolate her and read her signals to see if she needs more rapport or if she needs a nice game of tonsil hockey. The way you gauge her IL (interest level) is through the constant use of, yup you guessed it, kino!

YANG - Don't put up with the drama! A lot of women will put you through all sorts of shít tests to see if you are worthy. They want to see if you will jump through their hoops like a trained puppy dog. Don't fall for this! Make THEM jump through your hoops to prove they are good enough for you. This is where ****y & Funny works wonders. One of my fave lines is from ASF (I forget who posted it) You say this right after she just made some wise-ass comment to put you down or assert her control.

"You know, you are almost cute enough to get away with saying that....ALMOST"

hehe, 9 times out of ten they give me this look and ask what I mean by that. Funny how the hottest babes can be so insecure! Ultimately, women love to be put in their place and called on their bullshít. I know this sounds chauvinistic but it's so true. Reminds me of this time I was trying to seduce this HB9. I threw all my approaches at her and it just wasn't working. She didn't respond well to my kino and even asked why I was so touchy/feely. I acted normal and said it was part of my culture, latin family, etc etc. then turned it around and accused her of being frigid. Her sense of humor was kinda boring and from that moment onward it was looking pretty grim so I LJBF'ed her but made sure to keep giving her plenty of C&F whenever we were together. One day she told me she wanted to stop hanging out with me because I was being so mean to her. For a split second I doubted myself and wondered if I had used too much ****y and not enough Funny, but then inspiration hit me and I called her bluff. I just laughed as if she had told me a hilarious joke.. she was like,"What's so funny? I'm not joking with you!" So I looked her in the eye and said in a very polite yet firm tone, "Oh...you are serious ... So you really think I am mean? Why is that? (before she could respond I quickly said) Because I'm the first guy that doesn't worship your good looks? (She looks shocked and I change my tone to humor and grin a little) Puh-lease, you know that you love the fact that I don't take your shít or give you special privileges just because you're not fugly. Besides, if it bothers you that much, no one is twisting your arm here. You are free to go find an ass-kissing chump that'll lie to you about how perfect you are whenever you want, so spare me the drama, shorty." She looked down at the floor and was quiet for a few seconds. Did I detect a smile? I said nothing and then she looked back into my eyes and kissed me!

ALPHA VS. OMEGA - Very simple comparison. Actively pursue the HB's you desire. Don't wait around hoping that they will notice how cool and sexy you are, cuz though we may live in the 21st Century, the seductive roles of men and women haven't changed much. We are the pursuers, not them! But hey, if you don't mind waiting for ass to drop in your lap like our friend Omega, then by all means, keep sipping your martini in the corner of the club with that "Zoolander" look on your face and maybe that HB10 will ask for your number! PPffffft...yeah riiiiiigggggghhht Daniel-San!

 

[Mr. Fingers]

AND NOW, MY 5,000-WORD ESSAY ON THE INTRICACIES OF GENETIC MUTATION

Haha, almost had you there! Did you really want to hear me ramble on and on? Good Lord, you are a glutton for punishment! Seriously, I congratulate you on getting through this beast of a post. I hope I have accurately captured the alpha essence and am open to any comments/critiques. I know this is a lot to absorb, but if you ever find yourself in a situation where you are not sure what the "alpha" thing to do is, regardless of how positive/negative you perceive things just remember these words:

BE HAPPY

but don't take anybody's shít!


Your Long-Winded Pal Who Never Shuts the Fúck up as You Can See from this Closing Statement,

Mr. Fingers

 

[Matt Rogers]

Hey, nice thread Mr Fingers! I like the way you deflect focus away from picking up women, to actually learning to develop character, which will last you longer and make you happy.

Regarding the travel. How do you make friends in other countries before you leave. Unfortunately in Britain there are very few people from the places I would like to travel too, and I would feel uneasy staying with someone who I only met over the internet.

I am playing with the idea of taking a year out when I graduate, to travel USA and Latin America for most of the year. I realise though before then (2 years time) I have a lot of work to do on your previous threads on learning how to get rapport with others, as travelling alone or with a friend or two, it will be pretty lonely if I am unable to bond with others on my travels.
Where are the best places to meet people on travels, given you do not know anyone?

 

[Puma]

All I have to say is.....

GREAT POST!!!

 

[ASav]

Fingers: I think that was the best thing I ever read. This post is a gold mine for those who are ready.

So true.

So ****ing true.

The hardest part for me is not to let other peoples moods or a particularly negative situation influence my good mood and positive disposition. That and my bull**** job which stifles my growth in numerous ways.

Thanks.

 

[oOh Nasty]

::tearing::

SAY HELLO TO THE NEXT POOK! (or maybe even better )

I THOUGHT I KNEW ALOT ABOUT ALPHA, BUT YOU ALWAYS POINT OUT LITTLE FACTS THAT KNOW ONE KNOWS ABOUT AND ITS A BIG DEAL BECAUSE IT MAKES EVERYTHING FALL INTO PLACE.

DAMN. IM GONNA BE SURE TO READ EVERY POST YOU MAKE FROM NOW ON.

PS: YOUR PERSONAL EXAMPLE IS VERY MOTIVATING

~1~

oOh Nasty

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Good post.

It covers alot of topics that float around this board.

As far as being alpha goes, as I've said before, it is all about not caring what others think of you and carrying yourself with confidence.

I think too many think being alpha is a set of behaviors that you can fake till you become alpha.

The key thing to being alpha is not caring, by trying hard to become alpha you are striving to gain others approval, negating all the alpha characteristics you have been imitating.

However if you live a full live and continue to challenge yourself and take risks you will probably stop caring so much what other people think about you, so maybe I'm wrong, maybe you can fake it...

Anyway, good post, I just think that trying to be alpha isn't gonna make you alpha, being yourself will.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Fingers]

To: Matt Rogers
Where in England do you live Matt? I've been to London and I met people from all over. Anyway, it's like I said. You gradually expand your circle of friends outside your normal boundaries. You start off with pals in a neighboring town, then another province away, another city and so on. I can't tell you how much having a friend of a friend in a foreign place has helped me over the years! If you DO decide to just travel cold, then from experience I can say that you should try to be EVERYWHERE. Go to bars, book stores, fúck I have met some of the coolest people at yoga class and art galleries. Ultimately it matters more how you relate to people than where you find them. This is why I recommend you hit up other cities near your hometown first. Practice makes perfect! If you ever visit NYC and want advice, I will let you know the best places to hit up! Best of luck to you, holmes!

To: ASav
Thanks man!
I agree that there are quite a few truths we must be ready to hear in order to implement them. I think your job has alot to do with your volatile moods. If I were you, I would totally be interviewing on the sneak till I found something better suited to my lifestyle/passions/disposition. Anyways, it sounds like you are ripe for some personal expansion, my man. You are at the first step, which is awareness of what makes you suffer. Now all you need is some inspiration, a plan and a large set of balls to pull it off. You have my blessings friend...Life is short and the world is wide and wonderful so take advantage!

To: oOh Nasty
Wow, dawg. More caps and TEARS?! I am honestly flattered to be compared to the Pookster, he is def one of my alltime faves here. Glad you like my work and I hope that motivation of yours becomes translated to great deeds, for knowledge may be power, but wisdom comes from knowing that power aint worth shít without ACTION!

To: Mr. Mystery
Good Post? You mean it didn't totally blow your mind? Man you are one tough customer! Hehe, actually you make some valid points here. One thing in particular I want to address is this whole "Be Yourself" thing. To me, alpha is not something that you fake at all, rather it IS "being yourself" to the extreme. Most people are too afraid to be themselves and look at alpha like it is some unattainable status that you have to be born with. That's bullshít! I am not the greatest alpha I know, but I do possess far more of these traits than I used to. Why? Precisely because I am more comfortable being myself than ever! I was once that Omega dude, waiting for life to hand me a silver platter of opportunities, and even when it did I was too scared to take the risks. I was really quite insecure and would always act the way I thought people wanted me to, as if the real me wasn't good enough or something. I was a social chameleon with no real substance. I would supplicate to EVERYONE. These days I really couldn't give 2 shíts if anyone loves/hates me and that makes a huge difference! So you are right, Mystery. You have essentially covered the essence of my post in your own effective way, but at the same time, don't get lost in semantics! I never said alpha status should be faked. ( I talked about this in the Authentic Confidence thread) Rather my aim was to provide active methods of adopting this mentality through experience, travel and growth. Faking the mindset is wack. Doing things to expand your mind and build experience is where it's at! Thank you for posting this though, because I feel this is definitely something that needs to be cleared up, especially for the newbies.

 

[DJ Logic]

whoa dude!

Well, I can't speak for Mr. Mystery, but you totally blew my mind with this post!

*****
5 stars!

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

Hot Diggety Dawg!!

Once Again, you have nailed it Fingers! This is the most comprehensive post on alpha I have ever read. I agree that the whole "Be Yourself" thing is part of this mentality.

as for this

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery
The key thing to being alpha is not caring, by trying hard to become alpha you are striving to gain others approval, negating all the alpha characteristics you have been imitating.

I agree 100%. But I didnt read anything in this post that suggested that AT ALL. If anything Fingers is trying to get us to focus on ourselves and not others.

Mr. Fingers, I don´t know how you learned half this stuff but thank you for sharing it! You have enough talent and solid info here to sell it as an e-book and yet you offer it for free! I loved the "Whose World is This?" Section in your confidence post. totally puts this whole post in perspective!

Looking forward to Chapter 4!

 

[DJ Logic]

Quick question Fingers,

you give great stories but there is no timeline. How long has it taken you to get from AFC to where you are?

just curious!