Enough to end it?

[johnhat57]

I met this girl around 2 weeks ago and we starting hooking up almost immediately. We've been having sex pretty regularly for the last week and a half and I think she's pretty cool (not wifey material, but enjoyable company).

Last night we were at a party and each doing our own thing (we aren't dating so I don't really stay by her side), and she was all upset that I wasn't paying enough attention to her. She tells me she likes me, pulls me into a dark area, makes out with me and spends the rest of the night engaging in physical contact etc.

At the end of the night, I invite her back to my place which has been fairly common for us and she agrees, but at the last moment bails and tells me that she just wants to go home. She tells me she'll visit me today. She confirms these plans this morning but never shows up.

She doesn't even tell me she isn't going to come, but that she is 'hungover' so she couldn't make it. I find this really hard to believe since both of us barely drank last night and she sent this message at 7 PM.

I told her not to worry about it, and she says something about my living far away made it tough to find a way over here.

I feel pretty confused about the IOIs here, but think, ultimately, that if she was really that into me she would have shown up.

I'm thinking of just distancing myself at this point and chalking up another notch on the belt and moving on. Does that seem too drastic?

tl;dr - Girl blew off plans with me today, thinking this is a sign of low interest / enough to warrant stopping communication. Help?

 

[johnhat57]

I should also note, that I just got out of a LTR with a cheater. There was a gut feeling in the beginning of that relationship that things were going to go south and they did (it took 2 years for me to realize it). I would hate to not acknowledge the signs right away this time, but want to ensure I'm not over analyzing.

 

[expos]

I'm thinking of just distancing myself at this point and chalking up another notch on the belt and moving on. Does that seem too drastic?

tl;dr - Girl blew off plans with me today, thinking this is a sign of low interest / enough to warrant stopping communication. Help?

Not too drastic at all. She just blew you off, dude. Believe me, if you even think she is displaying low interest, you've got to counter with complete indifference. Stop communicating with her. The more you try to engage her from here on out, the more she well RUN in the other direction.

Let her start making the moves, while YOU start making the moves on other women to soften the blow.

Remember, a woman will move MOUNTAINS to be with you if they really like you. They will never flake like you are describing.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Keep in mind that some people are dishonest with you because they are simply embarrassed by the truth. Maybe she got diarrhea.

 

[NewJack]

The more you try to engage her from here on out, the more she well RUN in the other direction.

This is a DJ truth that just isn't true. Withdrawal isn't this great tactic; its terrible and its results suck. Its just that if a guy withdraws once and gets chased, he remembers it forever, and talks about it on the internet. If a guy withdraws and the girl drops it, he reasons she was a flake anyway and doesn't say anything on the internet.

Withdrawing sucks. Don't let anyone tell you different.

You are limited by your own ability to relate to her. Can you relate to her as a friend? Can you relate to her emotionally?

I know how we despise those things, (har har!) but what you are experiencing is the difficulty of maintaining a relationship on the basis of a purely sexual energy connection: it is very freaking difficult.

If you two had bonded over talks about your favorite movies or whatever, or if you had built the connection, you could go in fearlessly and not play the stupid cat-and-mouse game.

The reason you have to withdraw is that your relationship is primarily sexual. If it was balanced with some friendship energy, you could easily say 'Hey whats up' because you might actually legitimately care about her a little. That makes things a lot easier.

 

[Cremasta]

Last night we were at a party and each doing our own thing (we aren't dating so I don't really stay by her side), and she was all upset that I wasn't paying enough attention to her. She tells me she likes me, pulls me into a dark area, makes out with me and spends the rest of the night engaging in physical contact etc.[/B]

I remember reading this in a post somewhere, you should try it, looks like it will work in your situation... :yes:

 

[Greasy Pig]

She's pulling back to try and get a reaction out of you and make you chase.
She could tell from your body language at the party that you're not really serious about her and now she's trying to run female game on you to force a commitment from you.
As others have said. Don't take the bait, don't chase. She'll come back and fvck you like a porn star on heat.
If she doesn't, well that's her loss for playing stupid games.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Not too drastic at all.

Games and manipulations are something I have no patience or respect for at all. Its the path of the coward and I don't respect cowards.

And like Greasy Pig said.. she is trying to get a reaction. She is doing what all women do as a relationship progresses --> Seeking more power and control.

She is playing what I call the classic "drug dealer game" --> Gives you a taste of the goods.. then jacks up the price.

Never buy what you already got for free. If the p*ssy is cheap when I first meet a girl I expect it to stay that way. If she wants to charge more then she must bring more value. Most women don't. They want MORE out of you while giving you equal or less than before. :crazy:

 

[johnhat57]

She told me that she had a UTI on Sunday and was embarrassed about it. She's coming over tomorrow night haha. Glad I didn't ignore.

 

[betheman]

She told me that she had a UTI on Sunday and was embarrassed about it. She's coming over tomorrow night haha. Glad I didn't ignore.

oh good, she had an STI got it cleared up and now you get the green light, this ones a keeper.

 

[cordoncordon]

oh good, she had an STI got it cleared up and now you get the green light, this ones a keeper.

Dude a virgin can get a UTI. Cmon man.

OP this thread is a prime example of taking everything you read on this site with a large grain(s) of salt. Most of your responses are going to be from guys who have been picked on, shunned, or otherwise had no luck with women...hence why they are on this website. Therefore they are going to have a rather jaded view of women. Now, is she telling the truth about the UTI? Probably, I have had gf's with one and it is not fun for them. So glad you didn't take the nuke em all approach and as a result, you get to have some fun tonight.

Carry on.

 

[Bible_Belt]

this thread is a prime example of taking everything you read on this site with a large grain(s) of salt.

Amen. Except of course for my post, which predicted almost exactly what was going on

 

[cordoncordon]

this thread is a prime example of taking everything you read on this site with a large grain(s) of salt.

Amen. Except of course for my post, which predicted almost exactly what was going on

Did you update your thread BB?

 

[SamTheHobit]

Haha nice one Bible belt!