Emailing a chick out of the blue

[Celadus]

I remember see'ing a thread about this kind of thing awhile back, but can't remember what it said.

Basically my story is this:

I worked with this girl the year before last, and she fell very, very hard for me. As they said it in "Shallow Hal", she has ugly duckling syndrome. She isn't the type to approach. She has very little self esteem, but we get along very well. I'm very infatuated with her, and I know she is infatuated with me. About two months ago, I see her at the gym. With are both home from college. I eavesdrop on her conservation with her friend and the friend is saying "Just go over there and talk to him". THis girl is as intimidated by me as much as I am now. If anything she would be a good "first" girlfriend. My dumb ass could of had her at any point.

Based on what I just told you. All the answers will be a no, but there is a catch. Last summer she worked as secretary for this real estate developer in my town. I want to interin this christmas break/summer break for him. Think I could just email her out of the blue asking about it, and stear it toward a relationship?

We both just started school, and we are both shy. She'll want some familiar company. I think if I acted on it now, it would be good.

How would I write a message that could convey my interest in the interinship and her?

 

[Slickster]

If you two know each other already and you genuinely want this job contact her about it on a professional level. Do not mix your interest in her with your inquiries about the job.

How do you have her email address? If she didn't give it to you then I wouldn't even try this approach. Try running into her somewhere and asking about it in person.

You can use this "job" inquiry to get the two of you talking but do not show interest just yet cuz then she'll think you used her.

No harm in talking to her though. Get some commonality going for your future conversations.

 

[Celadus]

I don't want the first email to show how I feel. That would just be for the job, and I'd ask things like how's it going, etc.

 

[tomyv]

hmm

I think it's a good plan. As in sales, getting in front of the person is half the battle. Why don't you email her, assuming SHE gave you her email, and ask about the internship and see if she'd like to get together for coffee to discuss it.

 

[Celadus]

No, unfortunately she didn't give me the email. I guess that kills that idea.

 

[tomyv]

well

Then just email her, letting her know how you got the email but keep it professional. Then, when she emails you back, good chance she'll ask how you've been etc., assuming she'll be happy to hear from you. If this happens, invite her to meet up with ya.

 

[Celadus]

I must suck. I always get black dots on my messages.

 

[legolas]

Celadus,

If you want to email this girl out of the blue you need to take care of a few things before you gte a favorable response. First of all you need an excuse for writing the email. DO NOT USE THE REAL REASON JUST YET. You need to make friends with her again. So a good excuse would be something along the lines of "Hi Mary, I was looking at some old pictures in the yearbook and ran accross your picture. Man it's been a really long time since we've talked....." Do you catch my drift? Use some story to tell her that the story reminded you of her and you want to chat.

Since the girl has very low self-esteem, she'll automatically reject any "quick" advances, so if you ask her out for coffee to chat, also offer her an alternative way of talking where you don't have to meet, like email or Instant Messenger.

When talking, also, in the early stages keep it slow and comfortable for her, and only try to make friends making occasional remarks or questions about work, and about how you'd like to intern for "some" real estate company. This would be the litmus test to see if she's comfortable enough with you to offer her "services" and get you an *in* to her company. Mabe say that if you're there you'd help her find a good boyfriend or something like that.

How did you get her email? You need to explain how you got it IN THE VERY FIRST LINE or she might think you hacked it or something. DOn't assume ths since she still has feelings for you she'll say yes to going outwith you. SOme of these girls are so insecure when making such decisions that they default to no, even if they really like you. They hate it, but they have no other choice. Too much fear of the unknown.