Now this is what it's all about.
I hope this little FR shows that you don't have to talk about being a DJ, a Pimp, Pimptight, a Mack, a Player, an AFC or a Symp. They're all different styles, and multi-faceted. You take those things you want, the things that fit you, from whatever source you find, and ignore the rest for others to use. There's been a lot of hating here recently about the 'pimpin' style coming to this board, but it's only ignorant fools who aren't prepared to see that everything has some value. Creating some narrow definition of who you want to be, and then dismissing everything else, leads to a very narrow life.
Anyway, pompous lecture over. Onto the good stuff.
The target: 30-something fully paid up political feminist. In an LTR. I've known her *as a friend* (in the same study class) for nearly a year.
Here's how it went down by email {my comments are in curly brackets}. All the emails were longer than this, I've only pasted the relevant parts:
Her:I'm pleased to hear that your lovely - sorry sexy - flatmate has arrived.And a cheeky and probing question - what is sexy for you!?
Me:Sexiness is many different things to me. Sometimes it's in a girl's eyes
> -
> the way she looks at me - sometimes in the way she moves, or laughs or
> talks. If I had to be specific, then I could say confidence, playfulness,
> warm eyes, a bright smile, openness, compassion, a curveful, soft body,
> desire. I think one of the sexiests things is making a connection with
> someone, looking into their eyes and just knowing what you both want.
>
> So there's my answer to your cheeky question, and now it's your turn -
> what
> does sexy mean for you?
{I took the bait, and ran with it. Using Player_Supreme's email examples as a base, I created my own style. And, most importantly, I was really feeling it at the time. I enjoyed writing it, it turned me on, and I wanted to convey that feeling to her. Then at the end, I showed her she doesn't get something for nothing}
Her: {lots of non-committal but sexy words, that I'm keeping to myself. Use your imagination}
{In the old days I'd have left it at that, but I'm a little more persistent now}
Me:I like your image of closeness, sensing someone's touch and scent, feeling
> their breath. Touching but not quite touching. Anticipation and
> wondering,
> a look. Sexiness is so many things - tentative and fleeting, rich and
> vibrant. And then, that first time with someone new, there's a point when
> the anticipation ends, a contact is made - a slightly longer look, a
> firmer
> touch - and you both know.
Her: ... A slightly longer look and a firmer touch and you both
know.....What? What happens next - tell me, i'm captivated? It's like
reading a romantic novel - you must take up writing! But you must
tell me first!
Me:You'll have to use your imagination as
> to
> what happens next, just make sure it's thrilling and passionate. I enjoy
> writing like that - it feels good to fire the imagination, stir emotions
> and
> be drawn in, slowly, with words. Hmm.. I don't seem able to stop now I've
> started, it's very seductive..
{So now I've left her on the edge, and invited her to keep thinking about it, to cook slowly}
Her:No problem - I can do thrilling, passionate, hot, sexy, raunchy, lustful and
then some... yes I agree it's good to get the juices flowing, even if it's
just verbally.
END
At this point I thought I'd lost it, that she was making it clear it was just a bit of email fun. I know better now. What I wrote planted a seed in her mind that grew and grew over the next few weeks when we weren't in touch. I found out just how powerful it was when I met her last night, as friends, and she couldn't keep away from me, despite herself, her responsibilities, her commitments, etc. She told me how turned on she'd been reading my emails at work.
Obviously the anticipation had grown and grown until she couldn't hold back any longer. Once she made her move, I started talking to her the same way face-to-face last night and that was all it took to get her going. The rest is history.
It's important to note, that the attraction was there in the first place. If she hadn't been feeling me, it wouldn't have worked.
The difference for me, is that I would never have written to a woman like that if I'd not seen examples of using emails as a way into a woman's mind here. It is very powerful, and enjoyable, and it does the work for you. Once those words got into her head, they worked and worked and worked on her, even though we weren't in contact at all.
So next time you've been on a good first date with a girl, instead of emailing her with "I had a nice time last night", email her something a little more sexy, that fits your personality, and see what happens.
Play with sexiness, it's fun, women like it. They like to be fed images and words they can roll around in their head and let flow through their body. Words that tease, entice, and thrill. I've found my natural style and pleasure, which is to build a small story for her, using words she can savour, that she can take and run with on her own, created just for her entertainment.
Two truisms that are heard a lot are DYD's "Attraction isn't a choice", and the ubiquitous "A woman's greatest sexual organ is her brain". I feel the truth in both of those statements.
EDIT:I want to add that in order for yesterday evening to progress smoothly, I also had to pass a couple of tests. A few months ago I'd mentioned in passing that I'd once had an affair with a married woman.
So last night when we were still 'just friends', she says "So tell me a bit more about your affair". Alarm bells rang. ******** translation: Are you discreet enough for us to have some fun without jeopardising my current situation?
My answer: "I don't kiss and tell" *cheeky grin*. (Manese translation: No, you're safe with me, but I will post all the details on an Internet board
)
Props to Doc Love for alerting me to that one.
And then a little later, still qualifying me, she starts talking about how it can be good to have a man who is happy to be controlled by his woman. Me - I refuse to bite or to agree. She keeps repeating that it can make things go smoother etc, and I end up stating, firmly, that I could never give up my power like that to anyone. It's a matter of self-respect. That seemed to satisfy her.
So the seductive email writings served one purpose, but I needed some datinge game too to get where I wanted to go all along.
I hope this little FR shows that you don't have to talk about being a DJ, a Pimp, Pimptight, a Mack, a Player, an AFC or a Symp. They're all different styles, and multi-faceted. You take those things you want, the things that fit you, from whatever source you find, and ignore the rest for others to use. There's been a lot of hating here recently about the 'pimpin' style coming to this board, but it's only ignorant fools who aren't prepared to see that everything has some value. Creating some narrow definition of who you want to be, and then dismissing everything else, leads to a very narrow life.
Anyway, pompous lecture over. Onto the good stuff.
The target: 30-something fully paid up political feminist. In an LTR. I've known her *as a friend* (in the same study class) for nearly a year.
Here's how it went down by email {my comments are in curly brackets}. All the emails were longer than this, I've only pasted the relevant parts:
Her:I'm pleased to hear that your lovely - sorry sexy - flatmate has arrived.And a cheeky and probing question - what is sexy for you!?
Me:Sexiness is many different things to me. Sometimes it's in a girl's eyes
> -
> the way she looks at me - sometimes in the way she moves, or laughs or
> talks. If I had to be specific, then I could say confidence, playfulness,
> warm eyes, a bright smile, openness, compassion, a curveful, soft body,
> desire. I think one of the sexiests things is making a connection with
> someone, looking into their eyes and just knowing what you both want.
>
> So there's my answer to your cheeky question, and now it's your turn -
> what
> does sexy mean for you?
{I took the bait, and ran with it. Using Player_Supreme's email examples as a base, I created my own style. And, most importantly, I was really feeling it at the time. I enjoyed writing it, it turned me on, and I wanted to convey that feeling to her. Then at the end, I showed her she doesn't get something for nothing}
Her: {lots of non-committal but sexy words, that I'm keeping to myself. Use your imagination}
{In the old days I'd have left it at that, but I'm a little more persistent now}
Me:I like your image of closeness, sensing someone's touch and scent, feeling
> their breath. Touching but not quite touching. Anticipation and
> wondering,
> a look. Sexiness is so many things - tentative and fleeting, rich and
> vibrant. And then, that first time with someone new, there's a point when
> the anticipation ends, a contact is made - a slightly longer look, a
> firmer
> touch - and you both know.
Her: ... A slightly longer look and a firmer touch and you both
know.....What? What happens next - tell me, i'm captivated? It's like
reading a romantic novel - you must take up writing! But you must
tell me first!
Me:You'll have to use your imagination as
> to
> what happens next, just make sure it's thrilling and passionate. I enjoy
> writing like that - it feels good to fire the imagination, stir emotions
> and
> be drawn in, slowly, with words. Hmm.. I don't seem able to stop now I've
> started, it's very seductive..
{So now I've left her on the edge, and invited her to keep thinking about it, to cook slowly}
Her:No problem - I can do thrilling, passionate, hot, sexy, raunchy, lustful and
then some... yes I agree it's good to get the juices flowing, even if it's
just verbally.
END
At this point I thought I'd lost it, that she was making it clear it was just a bit of email fun. I know better now. What I wrote planted a seed in her mind that grew and grew over the next few weeks when we weren't in touch. I found out just how powerful it was when I met her last night, as friends, and she couldn't keep away from me, despite herself, her responsibilities, her commitments, etc. She told me how turned on she'd been reading my emails at work.
Obviously the anticipation had grown and grown until she couldn't hold back any longer. Once she made her move, I started talking to her the same way face-to-face last night and that was all it took to get her going. The rest is history.
It's important to note, that the attraction was there in the first place. If she hadn't been feeling me, it wouldn't have worked.
The difference for me, is that I would never have written to a woman like that if I'd not seen examples of using emails as a way into a woman's mind here. It is very powerful, and enjoyable, and it does the work for you. Once those words got into her head, they worked and worked and worked on her, even though we weren't in contact at all.
So next time you've been on a good first date with a girl, instead of emailing her with "I had a nice time last night", email her something a little more sexy, that fits your personality, and see what happens.
Play with sexiness, it's fun, women like it. They like to be fed images and words they can roll around in their head and let flow through their body. Words that tease, entice, and thrill. I've found my natural style and pleasure, which is to build a small story for her, using words she can savour, that she can take and run with on her own, created just for her entertainment.
Two truisms that are heard a lot are DYD's "Attraction isn't a choice", and the ubiquitous "A woman's greatest sexual organ is her brain". I feel the truth in both of those statements.
EDIT:I want to add that in order for yesterday evening to progress smoothly, I also had to pass a couple of tests. A few months ago I'd mentioned in passing that I'd once had an affair with a married woman.
So last night when we were still 'just friends', she says "So tell me a bit more about your affair". Alarm bells rang. ******** translation: Are you discreet enough for us to have some fun without jeopardising my current situation?
My answer: "I don't kiss and tell" *cheeky grin*. (Manese translation: No, you're safe with me, but I will post all the details on an Internet board
)Props to Doc Love for alerting me to that one.
And then a little later, still qualifying me, she starts talking about how it can be good to have a man who is happy to be controlled by his woman. Me - I refuse to bite or to agree. She keeps repeating that it can make things go smoother etc, and I end up stating, firmly, that I could never give up my power like that to anyone. It's a matter of self-respect. That seemed to satisfy her.
So the seductive email writings served one purpose, but I needed some datinge game too to get where I wanted to go all along.
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