Easy FB, or better benefits from friend, help me choose!

[Vulpine]

Here's the scene.
Had a girlfriend at one time and met this woman through the circle of friends. When I met the woman in question, there were some obvious IOI's. She's fun and I get along with her pretty well, that is, she's got an attitude I can stand. For side work, she has "pleasure parties" and sells sex toys to horny ladies. It's safe to say she has heard about my prowess from the ex-gf, and she is probably rowdy in the sack. Now that the ex is way out of the picture, it's game on. My dilema is that I am indifferent about her. I sure that drives her intrest through the roof, but, I can't decide to keep her around as an actual friend with no sex, or tag it just for the sake of another notch in the bedpost.

I've been leaning towards "just friends" because the benefits might be more than getting some easy sexin'. After reading some of the "get a girlfriend" articles, I think this chick might be a gold mine. I'm not all that attracted to her sexually, but keeping her around might bring other women around from her "pleasure party" networking. Plus, her open sexuality might be a good catalyst for debauchery at my ****tail parties. There might even be some 3-way potential down the road, who knows.

HOWEVER, It might backfire. Since she wants me for herself, she might be a nasty coxbloxer to have around, right? Perhaps I could fux her and try to LJBF her, but I can't see that working out for the best.

Understand that I'm indifferent. Right now, it's neutral between us. It's a blank slate for anything, really. I haven't done anything to go either way, and don't really care to - I've just been in contact and offered an open invite to my ****tail parties. I just recognize the potential. It's a tough call, so I'm interested in hearing how some of you guys would go about it. Do nothing, fux her and whatever, or cultivate a friendship?

Edit: I put up a poll. Maybe I'll turn it into a FR thing and let everyone know how it pans out.

 

[Vulpine]

:crazy: See? Nobody cares just like I don't care. Funny. I thought this would be a little more effective than a coin toss.

I can see it now, after sex, she's putting her clothes back on.

Her: "So, uh, now what?"
Me: "....?"
Her: "I mean, now that we've, you know, done it... now what?"
Me: "Well, it came up tails before. Lemme see about "what now"... hand me that quarter, would ya?"

 

[MacAvoy]

Her: "So, uh, now what?"
Me: "....?"
Her: "I mean, now that we've, you know, done it... now what?"
Me: "Well, it came up tails before. Lemme see about "what now"... hand me that quarter, would ya?"

:crackup: Too funny. In the past when I've been truly stuck between two decisions and I couldn't make up my mind, what did I do? Flip a coin. I use to say, live by the coin, die by the coin.

 

[STR8UP]

I am going through something similar. Got the young chick on the line just DYING to fukk my brains out whenever I call. But I am careful what I say and how I say it because I don't want her to get too attached. She will likely be coming over tonight and I think it might be the right time to have a little talk with her.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that the tone for your entire relationship is set in the beginning, and if you play your cards right up front you might be able to have the best of both worlds. If a woman gets used to getting flowers and candy, she expects them. If she gets used to you calling her three times a day, she will expect it.

If she's game make her play by YOUR rules. If you really are indifferent about her and can keep your feelings out of it then have sex with her once and then tell her that you very much enjoy her company and want to continue to hang out with her, but that you aren't wanting a relationship. Tell her that you enjoyed the sex but don't want it to come between your friendship.

This is your disclaimer. After you tell her this, what can she say? I would bet money that she will still have sex with you AND be your friend as long as you set it up the right way.

 

[Vulpine]

That's something I'll have to consider, thanks for the breakdown, STR8UP. That would mean, developing some sort of quality friendship before (friendship with attraction), then fuxing her, then LJBF'ing her... I am familiar with that 20 y.o. scenario you are going through working towards the 3way, I suppose I could go that route. I mean, I have nothing to lose except the opportunity, right?

Hmm...

 

[Vulpine]

Update:

Phone message:

"Hey you... stop whacking it and answer the phone... just kidding, this is <her>. I'm calling to find out what time this all goes down Friday, and what do I need to bring? Call me back."


...and *presto* game on.

 

[Latinoman]

A woman like that is PERFECT for "just friends". She can hook you up with others. But make sure you get her to feel "just friends" attraction toward you. In another words, make sure she puts you in the friend's zone.

But if you are doing her...I have a very strong feeling that she might want her just for you. Or she might become a cuck blocker. No good.

 

[Desdinova]

I'd preferably have a female friend who has a bf and a lot of single girl friends. This means that she's completely off limits, she won't c0ckblock you from her single friends (because she already has a man), but she'll hook you up.

With any single woman, I'd take the route of banging her and see where the whole thing goes. If you're using a single woman to find dates, all the social proof could make her attracted to you, and could cause her to c0ckblock you from her single friends.

The way I see it, she'll eventually become attracted to you anyway and want you all to herself.

It's funny how social proof can work.

 

[STR8UP]

That's something I'll have to consider, thanks for the breakdown, STR8UP. That would mean, developing some sort of quality friendship before (friendship with attraction), then fuxing her, then LJBF'ing her... I am familiar with that 20 y.o. scenario you are going through working towards the 3way, I suppose I could go that route. I mean, I have nothing to lose except the opportunity, right?

Hmm...

Fukk first, talk later.

I don't know how well you know her but if she is physically attracted to you then you don't need to develop any more of a relationship with her first.

One of my business partners is also going through a similar situation. Chick wants a relationship, he wants to hang out with her and get sex from time to time. He basically fukked her a couple of times, then just started doing "buddy" things with her, no sex. Finally last night she asked him what the deal was, and if they were ever going to have sex again. He basically set it up so that she either plays by his rules, or gets nothing.

I think my situation might work ITSELF out. Although I know this girl likes me and all, I think she knows it's a sex only relationship. She doesn't show any of the jealous traits I usually see with women who want more, so I'm hoping for the best. And as for the threesome thing....I doubt it will even go down with these two, but ya never know....

 

[DarkLight]

I'd have to agree w. every's perspective
Some good advice, so far.

Only thing I can think of to add, would be...

How bout you try to hook the 3some up, as your first hookup w. her. That way it would set things up, in and open and fun manner off the bat. Allowing for nothing serious coolness, w. the potential of her friends being still in the pic. Could be a great first note, considering all your considerations w. her.

 

[Vulpine]

:crackup:

When I replied to her phone message she asked what time and I told her:

"I tell everyone 8, but you're welcome to stop by earlier. I'll just be showering and whatnot so don't expect me to be a host."

"Will you have eaten?"

"I eat when I'm hungry: it's my home and there's food in the fridge. So, I donno yet, why?"

"I was going to bring pizza. (blah-diddy-blah...) So, 6:30-7:00 is okay? Cuz..."

"Hey, whatever, I'll be around so it's no prob if you hang out. I'm on the Atkin's thing, so I don't know if I'll have any pizza, but, by all means bring it if you're hungry."

It's so on it's sick - and now there's free beer and free pizza. :yawn: Ahh, the power of indifference.

I'll let you guys know Monday how it works out. This weekend is going to be light on attendees and dude lop-sided (first ****tail party since I've moved), so the debauchery will be squelched. But, who knows what'll happen.

 

[Desdinova]

Have fun

 

[Vulpine]

The night got off to a bumpy start. Without getting too long winded, it turns out that she's got a nice body, nice hair, but is a total butter face. I didn't get nearly drunk enough to tag it. I must've been really hammered when I've met her previouslly, I didn't seem to remember the busted grill.

I worked in some kino on her, to all of which she responded favorably - most notably the footsies game:

Shoes off in my apartment: we were all wearing socks. Her and I were standing in the kitchen shaking up a ****tail. I lightly stepped on her toes as I reached casually across in front of her. She wiggled her toes, so I looked down and asked:
"Aww... are you playing footsy with me?" She only laughed and did it some more. That alone isn't a big deal, but the convo went in some goofy direction where she said: "I'm a no socks girl." "What do you mean?" "I mean, I don't sleep with socks on. It's a huge turn-off for me when a guy does it with socks on." "I see. Hmmph... I prefer to do it with thick wool winter socks on - thicker the better." "*laughs*"

Oops - cat's out of the bag, horny girl. So, you want me to take my socks off before giving it to you? Noted.

No wait, it gets better. I offered that she could use my shower when she commented the next morning about "feeling gross". She went on to explain how it's pointless to shower and put the same scummy clothes back on afterwards. I said: "I know what you mean. For women I suppose it's worse with the funky underwear and all." She then proceeded to tell me all about how she doesn't wear underwear, why, and how much she enjoys it. "Again, I know all about it: I don't own a single pair myself."

There was more fun stuff. She was sh!t testing me left and right. She was seemingly getting pissed off because I wouldn't yield.

Her: "Can you get me another cherry?"
Me: (without even looking) "Bottom shelf, door of the fridge, right there." (point)

Her: "You're standing in my way."
Me: "You're standing in my apartment."

Too many to list. It's still on either way, and like I said, some blatent IOI's. Now it's even tougher to call with the butter face.
I'll keep you posted.